RogueFanKC: You don't have to wait! Here's the next exciting chapter! As for Shipwreck, I've read your profile. Nice explanation.
Red Witch: No explosions yet, but I'm sure I can work a few into the next chapter. I only have Running With Scissors and Poodle Hat, but I now have access to hearing a lot more, including his theme song for Spy hard. By the way, there's something I've been meaning to ask. Are the Triplets at all inspired by Melody, Harmony, and Rhythm from the Xanth books? They act a lot alike. And those girls are called the Triplets, too. Just curious.
I apologize in advance for this chapter. I wrote part of it while listening to Weird Al's "Harvey The Wonder Hamster" on auto-repeat, over and over. Mostly to drive my roommate insane.
Chapter 7: "COBRA!"
"'Harvey, Harvey, Harvey the Wonder Hamster!
He doesn't bite, and he doesn't squeal!
He just runs around on his hamster wheel!
Harvey, Harvey the Wonder Hamster!'"
The Baroness groaned. "Stop!" she cried. "For the love of all that is holy, make it stop!"
"You know how he gets," smirked Mindbender.
"'Harvey, Harvey!'" sang Cobra Commander, waving his arms in the air and jumping up and down. "'Harvey the Wonder Hamster!' Everybody!"
Everyone in the room just looked at him.
"Fine, be that way..." he sulked.
Our heroes (and those X-Men guys, too) chose that moment to appear. They instantly assumed combat positions, as did all the Cobras in the room.
"Stop!" yelled Destro. "We're all uneasy allies here!"
"All right, Cobra Commander," said Roadblock, "what do you need? And if you mention money I'll punch you in the face for your greed."
"I would punch him myself," muttered the Baroness.
"Don't think I didn't hear that!" Cobra Commander yelled at her.
"What makes you think I didn't want you to?" she yelled back.
"Enough!" yelled Scott.
Cobra Commander looked at him in disgust. "Who shoved the stick up your-" he started, but was interrupted with a low-level blast from Scott's eyes.
The Misfits started cracking up.
"Shut up!" Scott yelled at them.
Cobra Commander looked at his Cobras for support, but they were laughing, too.
"Some followers you are," he grumbled.
hr
"So that's the situation," concluded Destro some time later.
"Ill as it makes me," Cobra Commander told the group, "I must ask for your help in getting rid of this upstart!"
"We'll do it," Roadblock told him, "but not for you. This is in our best interest, too."
"But of course," cooed the Baroness. She eyed Piotr appreciatively. "You have wonderfully toned muscles," she complimented him. The large Russian blushed. Destro glared and muttered something under his breath about magnets and knives. Lance and Quake smirked at him. It was slightly unnerving, since, except for the scar on Quake's left cheek, their faces were identical.
"Be glad Kitty wasn't here for that," laughed Lance.
"Yeah," chuckled Quake, "your metal butt would've been in big trouble!"
Piotr scowled at the two.
"Entertaining as this is," Althea commented, "we should probably get back to the business at hand."
"At least there's one level head among you," muttered Mindbender.
Althea glared at him. "Coming from you, jerk-off, that's really saying something," she spat.
"One experiment!" shouted Mindbender. "One experiment, and it's all I hear about for the rest of my life! Well, maybe it was three or four, but still..."
Todd kept Althea from jumping the insane geneticist. She spat a stream of words at him that had Shipwreck and Logan blushing, not to mention everyone else.
"I would run, yo," Todd advised Mindbender, "because in about three seconds I'm gonna let her go."
Mindbender scampered out of the room, whimpering.
Todd released Althea, who fumed in silence.
"Amusing," commented Destro, "but we really must get back to the matter at hand."
"I think we..." started Xamot, walking in.
"...should invade Cobra," finished Tomax, coming in behind his twin.
"We're Cobra!" hissed Cobra Commander.
"Not right now, you're not," smirked Quake. Cobra Commander fumed.
"All we need is..." started Tomax.
"...the element of surprise," finished Xamot.
"The heroes should do," they chorused.
"Is anyone else..." started Todd.
"...as creeped out by that..." continued Althea.
"...as we are?" finished Xi.
The three burst into peals of laughter as the Crimson Twins glared ineffectually at them. It didn't help that Cobra Commander, Destro, and the Baroness were also chortling.
"Let's just..." grumbled Xamot.
"...invade them," grumbled Tomax.
Lord Zartan looked at his new kingdom, and it was good. Those who had once been in power were now in hiding, and he could hunt them down and have them killed at his leisure.
"I love being me," he grinned to himself. "Twenty years to rule before I need to worry about anything!"
Zanya chose that moment to run into the room.
"We're under attack!" she gasped.
"What?" shouted Lord Zartan. "Impossible! Who could be stupid enough?"
"It's the Cobra leaders!" she told him. "They're working with the Joes and the X-Men!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed Lord Zartan. "That never happened in my past! How could those idiots even work together anyway?"
"I don't know," shouted Zanya, "and I don't care! We need to get out of here!"
"Fine," grumbled Lord Zartan, as the base shuddered around them. "I'll leave for now. But this is not the end! I'll come back, and when I do, they'll all wish they'd never been born!"
The two fled down an escape tunnel, leaving the base behind.
"Well," said Fred, sitting on a pile of Cobra troopers, "we won."
"Unfortunately, we have not," XI told him solemnly. "Lord Zartan will be back for his revenge." He looked at the group of unlikely allies. "We must remain banded, at least for the moment, or risk certain defeat."
"Fine," grumbled Destro. "But you all have restricted range!"
"Chill out!" laughed Pietro. "It's not like we haven't seen the whole place before!"
"Unfortunate, bu true," stated the Baroness.
"Fine" muttered Destro. "You have the run of the place." He sighed. "I know I'm gonna regret this."
Next time: Zartan is on the run, and the kids are loose in Cobra HQ. There are times I love being me. Tune in again, for chapter eight of Misfits In Time!