Chapter 4- Battle of the Doomed
Kevin, was sitting in his room; which was lit by his bed-side table and desk lamp, at his desk, working on an article for the paper he worked for, which had a two day dead-line. He was frustrated, as the article wasn't coming along, quite the way it should be, as he couldn't make sense of the sentences he was writing!
Without knocking, Grace, entered his room.
"Grace, ever heard of knocking before entering!" Kevin said sarcastically, looking up from his lap top.
"Hi to you too Kevin!" Grace said, grinning at him, pointing out his bad manners.
"Grace, Luke isn't here and I'm kinda busy!" Hinting, that she should leave his room.
"Oh, so now you're telling me to leave! I haven't even told you, why I'm here!" Grace said a bit annoyed.
"Maybe I don't wanna know! Ever thought of that!" Kevin's mean tone of voice, didn't have the effect on Grace, that he'd hoped. Therefor, he sent her an angry glance as well.
Grace, sent him a cool glance in return.
This, made Kevin, really mad. "Oh boy, you're certainly full of yourself! Now, leave my room!" He was now frustrated, as his anger didn't seem to throw Grace off, like it did the rest of the Girardis.
Kev, I'm not gonna leave, till I've said, what I wanna say!" Grace said persistently, looking at him for an reaction.
The reaction she got however, she couldn't have antisipated. Kevin, wheeled towards her and came to a stand still, 6 feet away from her, looked her straight in the eyes and said:
"What could you possibly wanna talk to me about? You wanna ask me out too! Like Tracey did huh! So you can have yourself a good laugh! Well, I'm not gonna fall for that!" Kevin said angrily, with a look of tremendous, deep pain in his eyes.
Despite of his anger and him not wanting her there, the cool, tough Grace, felt for Kevin at that moment, as his eyes, held such a look of utter sadness and emotional pain. Grace, had an urge to give him a hug, instead, she slowly moved a few feet closer to him. Not wanting to seem like a threat to him, she sat down on a chair. Having done so, Grace, noticed that Kevin didn't budge, though he did keep his hands, on his wheels and his eyes directed at her without blinking, not knowing what to expect from her.
Calmly, still focusing her eyes on his, Grace said: "Kev, I wanna talk about Joan." Having said that, Kevin's expression, turned into one of confusion.
"Joan, you wanna talk to me about Joan? Isn't Luke available?" Kevin asked, a bit surprised.
"Joan, is closer to you Kev." Grace said, still keeping eye contact, her voice calm and steady, as her tension was relieved, as she no loger detected anger in his voice.
"Oh yeah. How would you know?" Kevin, said a bit intriguingly, as he wasn't about to let his guard down, just yet.
Matter of factly, Grace said: "Because she tells me, she can talk to you about anything! Even things, which she can't talk to me about!" Passing Kevin an admiring glance she continues: "I wish, she'd look up to me, like she looks up to you!"
"Joan, looking up to me, that's a joke! That was long before we moved here!" Kevin said, glancing down at his legs, sarcasm sounding through in his voice.
"Okay, you think, 'cause you can't walk, Joan, doesn't look up to you anymore! Now, that's a laugh! Joan, admires your writing talent and follows most of the advice you give her. She's so proud that you're her older brother! I, should know, as all I, hear all day is Kevin this, Kevin that, most of it's darn positive too!"
Grace's words, had impact on him, as she could tell, that he had trouble holding back the tears.
Seemingly unmoved, Grace continued, her eyes fixed on his, her look, telling him, that she meant business, her voice strong, clear and persistent; "What I, wanna get through that thick skull of yours is, that she cares about you! She's darned scared, that you'll go ahead and kill yourself, as you're hiding in this gloomy room, playing horrific music and won't express your feelings, not even to her! Now, if you're planning anything of the sort, tell me! 'Cause I'll personally tie you to the bed, so you can't! As then, there'd be two funerals in this family. Yours and Joan's! So, what's it gonna be Kevin, none or two funerals!"
Grace, could see that her words, had hit a soft spot, somewhere inside of Kevin, as the tears were now running down his cheeks. She let him be, as she could tell, that he was thinking, as he leaned forward, his elbows, resting on his lap, his head, in his hands.
He had noticed, that Joan, still looked up to him, but hadn't accepted that, as he, wouldn't ever have looked up to some one like himself. Joan, telling Grace, how concerned she was about him, killing himself, moved him. The thought, had crossed his mind a billion times, the past year, yet, he was still among the living. Something or one, had stopped him, every time the plans got serious. The past few weeks, he had actually decided, that he did want to live, as he enjoyed his job and though at the moment, his body and mind weren't working together, it felt like they, might again sometime in the future.
Before he spoke, Kevin, sat up straight and looked at Grace, his vision blurred by the tears, that had not yet dried up. Speaking slowly and clearly, he said: "Umm, Grace. No funerals. I did make plans before. Now, I wanna live!"
"I'll only believe you, if we shake on it, as it's then a deal!" Grace said, looking very serious.
Without hesitating, Kevin, reached his hand out to Grace's and they shook to close their deal.
Grace, was relieved, as she wouldn't have to attend either's funeral.
Kevin was releived, as he now, realized hom much Joan, cared about him.
"Thanx Kev, you made the right choice. After talking to Rocky, I've grabbed a life and I'm glad I did! Now, it's your turn!"
"Rocky, changed you from doom itself, to the do-gooder infront of me! Wow, so miracles do exsist huh!" Kevin said semi surprised, semi teasingly.
"Yeah, he did! He's something else!" Grace said, with a faint smile, followed by a long sigh, as Rocky had passed away, almost two months earlier, just a few days after Grace, had spoken to him, on the swing set in the park, and he had changed her life for good!
"Kevin, thanx for listening to me, in the end! As you said you were busy, and I got my say, I'll let you be now." Grace said smiling at him.
"Sorry, for my outburst ealier. It had nothing to do with you, personally." Kevin said apolligetically, smiling back at Grace.
"I, didn't thinks so. Bye, Kev, take care!" Grace said seriously and left the room.
Joan. Was sitting in her brightly lit room, at her desk, tending to her history homework, when Grace entered, leavin the door ajar. Startled, Joan, looked up from her book.
"Oh it's you! Where were you? Certainly not with Luke, as he's staying at Friedman's for dinner!" Joan, inquired curiously.
"Actually, I had a quarell and talk with Kev!" Grace, informed Joan, calmly.
"Oh, no! You quarelled with Kevin! What did you, do that for! You know how unstable he is!" Joan, said frantically, in a high pitched voice, passing Grace a frustrated look.
As Grace, had left the door ajar, Kevin, entered the room, without either of the girls noticing.
"Joan, it's okay. Being dependent on a wheel chair for moverability, having a body, which doesn't function like it used to, not being able to do things I used to, having to face obstacles, which I can't over come and being used by Tracey, is not worth killing myself over, as I still have my health, a job I love, I play basket ball which I enjoy and I have a wonderfull family and a very special and caring little sister!" Kevin said, wheeling himself over to his dumbfounded sister. Joan, could tell that he meant it, as the look on his face was dead serious.
Her voice, cracking up a bit with emotion, Joan said: "Kevin, I was so scared, you'd kill yourself! I really love you, bro.!" Eyeing him from head to toe, she added: "All of you! You big fool!" Then she, broke into tears.
Joan, stretched out her arms to Kevin, which embraced her in a hug, her head on his left shoulder. Kevin, felt her tears, trickle down his neck, but didn't mind one bit. "I love you too Joan, too much to describe!" Kevin said, as he rubbed her shoulder tenderly.
That evening, Kevin, came to kiss Joan, goodnight. Telling her, that he was proud to be her brother.
"But how can you be proud of me, I'm a sub-defective, remember?" Joan asked seriously, as that was a word Kevin, had used to insult her ever since the accident.
"I am sorry 'bout that Joan! You're one awsome sister! How can you still love me and look up to me, the way I've hurt and freightened you with my bad mouth and ill temper, ever since that wretched accident! Kevin, looked down, blushing with shame.
Taking Kevin's left hand into her right, Joan rubbed it gently and spoke in an admiring tone of voice. "Kevin, whenever I got picked on, you stood up for me. That, was one of the few things, which didn't change after the accident. I really admire you for that! You could have left me, to fight my own battles, which I probably would have lost most of the times, but you didn't! You standing by me like that, means a lot to me! It also boosted my self-confidence. If you, thought I was worthy of protecting, then that must mean, that underneath all that anger and bitterness, you did care about me!"
"Oh Joan, I do care about you. As long as there's still life, left in this body, I'll continue to love and care for you! Now, we both better get some sleep, as we gotta get up early tomorrow!" With that Kevin, gave Joan, a gentle peck on her cheeck and did a 180 degree wheelie.
Laughing, Joan said, "Good night, you show off!"
Looking over his left shoulder, Kevin, smiled at Joan and left the room.