Notes: Next couple of chapters are written by Jules. Chapter 26 should be up tonight. Going to visit my horse =).
Danny's Breakdown
I was just numb all the way to the airport. Athena must've noticed how upset I was because she offered to drive. When we hugged good-bye at the airport she tried one last time to get me to tell her what was wrong. I couldn't. I was too upset.
I took a plane back to Kentucky my brain on autopilot all the way there. I called a cab to take me back to my apartment. Some part of my brain still figured I was in too much of a state to drive and figured I could call Cam in the morning to get my car. Cam should also be back from Kemper by then.
I opened the door to my apartment and slid down it crying as soon as I shut it. Everything was suddenly too damn much at one time. Dammit why! Why the hell was my sister friends with the Helmsleys.
Did she know what they did to dad? Did they tell her? Or was she just too blind and egotistical to see through them. I finally decided it was the last. I had too. The other possibility was just too horrifying for me to consider.
I knew my sister hadn't been sheltered from wrestling like me, Tatem, and Trevor were. My mother wanted nothing to do with the McMahons after my dad's death and I have vague recollections of her throwing Stephanie and Hunter out at some gathering my family had after my dad's funeral. So maybe it wasn't so farfetched that my sister might have been befriended by the Helmsleys. I don't know anymore. I thought even though we'd never been close that I knew my older sister, but I guess I didn't.
I'd love to talk to somebody anybody right now, but I couldn't. I couldn't tell Dad or Uncle Eddy because of the fact that I went to Kemper tonight and I can't tell Mom for the very same reason. Damn when did my life become such a mess?
I went and stumbled into my bed and just sobbed. I must've feel asleep for a couple hours at least. When I woke up I picked up the phone. I needed to talk to somebody regardless of me getting yelled at.
"Hello?" a female voice answered.
"Hi Tammy, is my Dad there?" stupid question.
"He's asleep Danny, it's 4:30 in the morning," Tammy answered. She must've heard something in my voice. "Danny is something wrong?"
"Yes, no," I sighed, "I did a really stupid thing last night Tammy."
In one breath I let out the whole story about my idea to go to Kemper (Leaving Athena out of it so she didn't get in trouble), going there, running into the Helmsleys, my outburst in their office and running into my sister there. I'm not sure why I decided to blurt out something so personal to somebody who was a virtual stranger to me. Maybe because I felt she wouldn't be angry or disappointed in my decision because she didn't know me. I don't know.
"Oh Danny," Tammy said. There was a compassionate tone in her voice. Not the judgmental one there would've been in Mom's voice or the anger there would've been in Uncle Eddy's. "I won't say that it was the smartest thing to do, but I think even if you hadn't found out about your father you'd have been curious about the WWF anyway. Don't worry, I won't tell anybody."
"I just don't get Megan," I said feeling more and more comfortable talking to Tammy. "I thought she knew better than that."
"Honey, Vince McMahon can talk anybody into doing anything they wanted too, even if half the time they didn't want to do it. I should know." Tammy snorted bitterly. "Stephanie's inherited that same 'gift' of persuasion so I not surprised or shocked that she would try to manipulate somebody as young as Megan. Maybe if you told her some of what you knew she'd what the McMahons really were."
"I can't, I can't tell her!" I said urgently.
"Danny why?" The phone went silent for a few seconds. "Danny, you don't think."
"No, I don't think the Helmsleys told her." I said reinforcing my earlier beliefs not to believe the first thought I had about my sister's involvement coming into my apartment earlier. "But I don't want to put her into any unnecessary danger by telling her the truth as much as I want her to know."
"I understand," Tammy said. I actually believe she did understand my reasoning.
I sighed still feeling overwhelmed by the events of the last couple of weeks. "Would I be the worst person in the world if I said that sometimes, I wish, I wish - "
"That you never found out that your dad was alive?" Tammy finished for me.
"Yeah. I know that sounds so awful and terrible, but sometimes I feel like if I could find out who sent me that videotape of Atlanta that I could ring his neck. That, maybe things would be simpler, easier if I had just thrown that tape away and not even viewed it. My life certainly wouldn't be the mess it was now," I blurted out, feeling like the most traitorous person in the world saying that.
"No, Danny, your not the worst person in the world for saying that, just human. There are things I wish had never happened in my life that if hadn't happened would make my life easier, better," there was a wistful tone in Tammy's voice. I thought back to the day I first met her at the Cabin. After her conversation with Athena she had such a haunted and regretful look in her eyes. I wonder just what was said between the two women.
"Ever wish you hadn't found out about my Dad and Owen?" I asked.
"No, I don't. I'd never would've married my husband otherwise or had gotten one of my closest friends back," she replied honestly. "Danny it's all right to hate the circumstances or have thoughts like your having now. You're a young man who's gotten the biggest shocks of his life in only a couple weeks time and not much time to process it. Thing's will eventually get better."
"Thanks Tammy, I actually do feel a little better now. Maybe what I needed was to talk to somebody impartial." I said.
"I'm here if you need to talk to me again," she said. "I'm going to let you go, you sound like you need some sleep and everybody here is going to be up soon."
"Okay, Tammy?" I asked before I could think, "Why were you up at 4:30 in the morning?"
"Old nightmare kiddo," the husky voice replied. "I'll talk to you later."
Sensing she didn't want to go further into the issue, I said my good-byes, then I laid back down on my bed and went into a dreamless sleep.
Danny's Breakdown
I was just numb all the way to the airport. Athena must've noticed how upset I was because she offered to drive. When we hugged good-bye at the airport she tried one last time to get me to tell her what was wrong. I couldn't. I was too upset.
I took a plane back to Kentucky my brain on autopilot all the way there. I called a cab to take me back to my apartment. Some part of my brain still figured I was in too much of a state to drive and figured I could call Cam in the morning to get my car. Cam should also be back from Kemper by then.
I opened the door to my apartment and slid down it crying as soon as I shut it. Everything was suddenly too damn much at one time. Dammit why! Why the hell was my sister friends with the Helmsleys.
Did she know what they did to dad? Did they tell her? Or was she just too blind and egotistical to see through them. I finally decided it was the last. I had too. The other possibility was just too horrifying for me to consider.
I knew my sister hadn't been sheltered from wrestling like me, Tatem, and Trevor were. My mother wanted nothing to do with the McMahons after my dad's death and I have vague recollections of her throwing Stephanie and Hunter out at some gathering my family had after my dad's funeral. So maybe it wasn't so farfetched that my sister might have been befriended by the Helmsleys. I don't know anymore. I thought even though we'd never been close that I knew my older sister, but I guess I didn't.
I'd love to talk to somebody anybody right now, but I couldn't. I couldn't tell Dad or Uncle Eddy because of the fact that I went to Kemper tonight and I can't tell Mom for the very same reason. Damn when did my life become such a mess?
I went and stumbled into my bed and just sobbed. I must've feel asleep for a couple hours at least. When I woke up I picked up the phone. I needed to talk to somebody regardless of me getting yelled at.
"Hello?" a female voice answered.
"Hi Tammy, is my Dad there?" stupid question.
"He's asleep Danny, it's 4:30 in the morning," Tammy answered. She must've heard something in my voice. "Danny is something wrong?"
"Yes, no," I sighed, "I did a really stupid thing last night Tammy."
In one breath I let out the whole story about my idea to go to Kemper (Leaving Athena out of it so she didn't get in trouble), going there, running into the Helmsleys, my outburst in their office and running into my sister there. I'm not sure why I decided to blurt out something so personal to somebody who was a virtual stranger to me. Maybe because I felt she wouldn't be angry or disappointed in my decision because she didn't know me. I don't know.
"Oh Danny," Tammy said. There was a compassionate tone in her voice. Not the judgmental one there would've been in Mom's voice or the anger there would've been in Uncle Eddy's. "I won't say that it was the smartest thing to do, but I think even if you hadn't found out about your father you'd have been curious about the WWF anyway. Don't worry, I won't tell anybody."
"I just don't get Megan," I said feeling more and more comfortable talking to Tammy. "I thought she knew better than that."
"Honey, Vince McMahon can talk anybody into doing anything they wanted too, even if half the time they didn't want to do it. I should know." Tammy snorted bitterly. "Stephanie's inherited that same 'gift' of persuasion so I not surprised or shocked that she would try to manipulate somebody as young as Megan. Maybe if you told her some of what you knew she'd what the McMahons really were."
"I can't, I can't tell her!" I said urgently.
"Danny why?" The phone went silent for a few seconds. "Danny, you don't think."
"No, I don't think the Helmsleys told her." I said reinforcing my earlier beliefs not to believe the first thought I had about my sister's involvement coming into my apartment earlier. "But I don't want to put her into any unnecessary danger by telling her the truth as much as I want her to know."
"I understand," Tammy said. I actually believe she did understand my reasoning.
I sighed still feeling overwhelmed by the events of the last couple of weeks. "Would I be the worst person in the world if I said that sometimes, I wish, I wish - "
"That you never found out that your dad was alive?" Tammy finished for me.
"Yeah. I know that sounds so awful and terrible, but sometimes I feel like if I could find out who sent me that videotape of Atlanta that I could ring his neck. That, maybe things would be simpler, easier if I had just thrown that tape away and not even viewed it. My life certainly wouldn't be the mess it was now," I blurted out, feeling like the most traitorous person in the world saying that.
"No, Danny, your not the worst person in the world for saying that, just human. There are things I wish had never happened in my life that if hadn't happened would make my life easier, better," there was a wistful tone in Tammy's voice. I thought back to the day I first met her at the Cabin. After her conversation with Athena she had such a haunted and regretful look in her eyes. I wonder just what was said between the two women.
"Ever wish you hadn't found out about my Dad and Owen?" I asked.
"No, I don't. I'd never would've married my husband otherwise or had gotten one of my closest friends back," she replied honestly. "Danny it's all right to hate the circumstances or have thoughts like your having now. You're a young man who's gotten the biggest shocks of his life in only a couple weeks time and not much time to process it. Thing's will eventually get better."
"Thanks Tammy, I actually do feel a little better now. Maybe what I needed was to talk to somebody impartial." I said.
"I'm here if you need to talk to me again," she said. "I'm going to let you go, you sound like you need some sleep and everybody here is going to be up soon."
"Okay, Tammy?" I asked before I could think, "Why were you up at 4:30 in the morning?"
"Old nightmare kiddo," the husky voice replied. "I'll talk to you later."
Sensing she didn't want to go further into the issue, I said my good-byes, then I laid back down on my bed and went into a dreamless sleep.