Disclaimer: Not mine!

Chapter 3 – Here we are

Three days go by, no phone call. My mood darkens and I lock myself up in my dorm room. I order some pizza and put a Lord of the rings-dvd in de player. I want to watch by myself, I want to be alone and I want to be alone with my thoughts. While I sit there, my blanket around me, eating pizza… tears start rolling. I can't help it… the screen's all fuzzy, my cheeks are wet… I let myself cry. It feels good, it feels like I'm cleansed. I turn the dvd off and go to bed. Exhausted I fall in a dreamless sleep.

The next morning the sun is shining. It isn't spring yet, but you can feel it coming. I overslept horribly but for once I don't care. I feel lighter, opened up… ready to face the world. I decide to go outside for a walk and breakfast. I open the door and I literally bump into someone.

'Jess.'

He puts up his left eyebrow. 'Rory.'

I feel a little dizzy. Jess is here at my dorm… I can't run away now…

'How come you're here?'

'I called my mom and she told me you called me and I knew I was going to be in the neighbourhood a couple of days later, so I figured I should go by.'

I don't know what to think… it's a bit unexpected…

There's an awkward silence while we stand there staring at the floor.

'You want some coffee?'

'Yeah, sure'

We walk to the place with the best coffee. I order my breakfast and ask him if he would like anything. He's fine…

Since it's just such a beautiful day I suggest we go to the park and sit on a bench, which is ok by him. We find one, in the sun… we sit next to each other, with 30 cm between us. The awkward silence continues. I just don't know what to say…

'So… here we are'

'Yes we are' … it sounds familiar… the memory put a smile on my face. I look at jess and see that he's thinking the same thing. Now we're smiling at each other. That seems to break the ice a little.

'So, my mom said you…'

At the same time I began: 'so, I wanted to…' we laugh… I suggest he goes first…

'Well, you ringed my mom because apparently you wanted to talk to me'

'Yeaaaaah… it's uhm it's about that thing you said the other time'

'Oh that'

'Yeah, that… Why did you say that?'

'Because I mean it'

'You still do?'

'Yup'

'Why did you leave immediately?'

'I felt too vulnerable to stand there in the middle of your hometown. I'm always the visitor. You could've gotten mad or your mom could've seen me and kick my ass… I … I just couldn't handle that'.

A nice, honest answer from jess. No sarcasm, no jokes… this was weird.

'That's very honest… I've never seen you like this'

'Well, I've been much on the road. Alone, with my thoughts… sometimes you come to a conclusion'

There it was again, a little sarcasm… it was nicely meant though…

'What about you Rory Gilmore?'

'What about me?'

'What have you been up to?'

He recovered quickly, but I could tell he actually wanted to ask something else…

'Yale… busy… being independent, doing my laundry, reading, studying, writing papers…'

'Sounds boring'

'To some people maybe'

'No I don't mean the studying part, it's just… do you go out? Are you a student? Or at least, do you behave like one?'

'You mean do I get drunk every week and have sex with the first drunk guy who wants me? No thanks'

'Ah, I see you haven't changed a bit'

I stuck my tongue out…

'So what about you Jess Mariano?'

'I work… I have a messenger job. I work alone, spend most of the time in some inn along the road. The days I'm not working I divide between Liz and Jimmy.'

I didn't know what to say – it sounded like he's got it together… it remains silent for a while… then I ask, before I can stop myself:

'Are you happy?'

Very Jess-like he immediately shots back: 'Are you?'

'I asked you first!' I whined…

It remains silent….

'Jess?'