Author's Note: Thank you spongfan! I'm glad you voted and I'm even gladder that you pointed out my typo on chapter 4. It is VERY appreciated. I have fixed it. 'Returned Address: None' is still in the lead, followed by 'Living Big', then 'Sponge Kenny', and in last is 'Spongebob and the Goddess'. Keep reviewing!

Part II

Chapter 5

Spongebob took out a can of snail food for Gary and filled the snail's bowl. Gary munched on the food happily.

"Eat up, my sweet mollusc," said Spongebob sweetly. Spongebob walked into the living room and sat down on his comfy couch. He turned on the T.V. and started to relax. He needed to chill after his big adventure.

Squarepants was gliding through the vortex. The walls were becoming smaller. He would have to hurry if he wanted to reach Bikini Bottom. He kicked the air, hoping he would speed up. One hand, then the other reached through Spongebob's bathroom mirror. He pulled himself through.

"YES!" he exclaimed. The plan wasn't a complete waste after all. He still had a chance to destroy Spongebob. He froze. He could hear the T.V. He would have to sneak out of the house. He quietly exited through the bathroom window.

"Hey, Spongebob!" said someone behind him. Squarepants dropped from the window and turned around to see Patrick. "Hey, Spongebob, why are you leaving your house through the window? Shouldn't you use the door?"

"Think fast," Squarepants thought to himself. "I…um…,"

"OH! I know!" yelled Patrick. "It's opposite day!"

"Whew!" thought Squarepants. "Whatever, freak," he said. He wasn't interested in socializing with the pink wad of fat.

"Freak? Aww…you're a freak too, enemy," replied Patrick sentimentally. Squarepants was confused. This moron thought freak was a compliment?

"Are you missing your brain? Man, your stupid," Squarepants said. He was starting to get peeved.

"So are you," replied Patrick. He then started to giggle. "Opposite day sure is awful, eh, Spongebob?" Squarepants then realised. Opposite day!

"I love you!" yelled Squarepants to the chubby, pink sea star.

"Wha…what?" said Patrick.

"You're my best friend! You're the smartest person in the world!" Squarepants was having fun. Tormenting this star was entertaining. Patrick was crying in confusion and sadness. "Keep crying like a baby, skinny!" Patrick then froze.

"Skinny?" he asked. "NO BODY CALLS ME SKINNY!" He then punched Squarepants right in the face and gave him a black eye. Squarepants was taken aback. He quickly recovered.

"Lucky shot," he said. Then Patrick and himself started fighting. It didn't last long. Squarepants quickly tied up Patrick in a knot. "Well," said Squarepants, dusting off his hands. "My work here is done." He then walked away to cause more havoc on the city.

Spongebob was still sitting in front of the T.V. His favourite soap was on.

"Oh my gosh! After all these years, I never thought you were the murderer!" buzzed a female voice. Spongebob was glued to the T.V.

"Who is it? Who is it?" he was shouting. Just as someone was about to step out of the shadows, the screen changed.

"We interrupt you usual programming for this important news bulletin," said the fish announcer on the television.

"NOOO!" Spongebob yelled in frustration. "What could be so important to interrupt my show?"

"A criminal has been wreaking havoc on the town. He has committed several crimes and unpleasant things to others," reported the fish. "Here is a picture of him." A picture of Spongebob appeared on screen.

"WHAT!" exclaimed Spongebob. Then something occurred to him. He ran to his living room mirror. "No…," he said. "It isn't possible." Right in front of him was his mirror, but no reflection. It wasn't a picture of him on the T.V. It was a picture of Squarepants. Spongebob was very nervous. Squarepants was framing Spongebob for all of the crimes he did. Spongebob was very nervous. What should he do? His thoughts were interrupted by sirens.

"Come out with your hands up," said a police officer. Spongebob looked out the window. Outside his pineapple, there were 5 police cars and 10 police officers. Spongebob was scared. Maybe if he just came out and tried to explain what happened, the police would leave. Spongebob exited the pineapple. Big mistake. Before he could say a single word he was cuffed and thrown into a police car.

"You're going to stay in jail for quite a while," said the police fish driving the car.