Dislaimer: You really think a girl like me owns this stuff? Very flattering but not true!

Literaiever: i'm sorry for the cliff hanger. I didn't really do it on purpose or anything, it just kinda happened ;) Hope you enjoy the story though :)

Aquarian Girl: Thanks for being such a supportive and loyal reviewer :)

Chapter 4 – the end is the beginning is the end

'Am I happy you ask?' he plays with his fingers, his elbows rest on his knees and he stares into the distance. 'I've been better, I've been worse I guess.'

I look at him, I study him… he's calm. That's good. He's not trying to get out and do his own thing. He tries. I let him speak at his own time.

'How's that so?'

He shrugged… 'Come on Rory, can't you guess it?'

'I'm done guessing Jess. I want to hear it.'

'Well, it's like I said: I love you. I still do and I mean it! And it just not easy… I said it, when I didn't really want to… I mean.., I kinda figured you never wanted to see me again and probably would never want to hear from me again. But than I had to go to Stars Hollow and I kept bumping into you… and it just slipped.'

I sat in silence. I didn't really know what to think… so he means it, but he hadn't meant to say it… what did I have to make of that? If he hadn't had said it, I would still be in the process of getting over it… maybe I would've been by now. But, he said what he said and I didn't have any reason to doubt him. The question now was: what was I feeling?

'Rory?'

I'm back to earth…

'Yeah?'

'So, what exactly did you want to talk about except the… eh obvious,'

'I wanted to talk to you… just I don't know… ever since you said…' I hesitate for a moment '… it, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I couldn't stop thinking about you and us and how it all went… and I don't know what to do. I feel trapped, I can't focus on anything… and I thought that maybe when we talked it would become clear…'

'So you want closure?' His voice sounds hard

'Yes… no! I don't know! I just knew this had to stop… this thinking, the whirling thoughts, the memories…'

'Huh'

'Come on Jess! You do owe me some explanations you know!'

'I guess I do…'

And he begins telling just about everything he did, he thought and why he did and thought it… I don't interrupt. I just watch him while he'ss talking. I suck up every word he says and lock it in my brain.

'… So and now we're sitting here…' he ended.

A silence fell…

'Why didn't you call me'?

'Well see that's not entirely true. I did call you, I just couldn't talk to you… I froze by hearing your voice… '

'e-mail?'

'Didn't know how to say it'

'A letter?'

'Ditto'

I sighed… it was hopeless…

'Rory?'

'Yeah?'

'How do you feel now?'

'Uhm, to be perfectly honest… I don't know. I feel like it's all a bit hopeless. You can't really change the past and although I now know the story behind it all, it doesn't make it any easier to close it up or get over it or forgive you or whatever… You really hurt me! I wasn't ready to face you back at the Firelight festival. I wanted to run and hide… and I really dreamed literally a hundred times about what would happen if we saw each other again, what you would say, what I would say… but I never thought it was going to affect me this much. And than you said … it… and you left again. That's three times you know'

'Yeah, believe me, I know!'

'What do you want Jess? You said… it… and… now what? What do you want to happen? Do you want to get back together… do…' I had to ask these questions or I would burst... I wasn't quite sure that I wanted to hear the answer though...

He interrupts me… 'Do you?' he asks expectantly.

'I don't know!' The truth is: I really don't…

'There still definitely something there… I know it for sure now that I'm here sitting with you… but we really need to talk about lots of stuff, Jess. And not just about the past! It'll have to happen in the future again! It's not easy for you, I get that… and you don't have to tell me every little thought… but every once and a while a glance at the big picture would be very nice!'

Jess nodded understandingly...

He came a little closer… now we were like 10 cm apart. We face each other and our eyes meet… tension's in the air. My heart starts beating faster... but there's this little voice in my head that goes like: 'Don't be stupid Rory! He's going to abandon you again!' But the sound of my heart is bigger than that annoying little voice.

'Do you really mean this, Jess?' I almost begged him.. but I just had to know! He couldn't do all that stuff to me again...

'I do! Rory, my girl, you have no idea… all those hours on the road, listening to music… I analysed it to death. I want this! I really do…'

I sighed… I took his hands in mine and looked deep into his eyes…

'You really want to do this?'

'Yeah!'

'Again?'

'Over and over again'

'You're sure?'

'Are you sure?'

'I'm mental…' I shook my head. I couldn't believe I was doing this...

'Good enough for me' he laughed.

He pulled me closer, leaned in en placed his soft, slightly wet lips on mine… and I let him…

And right than and there I knew that it was right.

THE END

PS so you guys, this was the final chapter of Part 2. For part 3 I would like to be more true to the storyline on the show with both Jess's en Rory's POV. What do you guys think?

By the way: thank you so much for updating: it really helps to keep writing (although I should be doing some serious homework though... thank God for breaks :-) )