LAST TIME:

"I don't think I like Draco very much anymore Hermione."

"I wish I could say the same…" I whispered. Ginny came into Victoria's room and told me we needed to go.

"Vicky has her piano lesson in twenty-five minutes, isn't that right?" Ginny said. I nodded and gave her a hug and a kiss on the head.

"I'm so glad I got to see you Victoria. Would you like to come visit me over the summer?" She nodded, but seemed hesitant. Some kind of mother I was…

Road to Remembrance
Chapter Four: Promises

FLASHBACK-

"Where the HELL is he?" I screamed into an empty living room. I was fanning myself, seated in a reclining chair in our London flat. I was very pregnant, bulging and ready to drop. I knew from the beginning what I was getting into, with Draco and all, but I never thought he would abandon me. He hadn't been home in a day and a half.

He had been coming in late every night, he would say hello, kiss me on the cheek, and retreat into the shower. He pretended as if it were OK to come home every night at 1 AM, keeping me awake and very worried. But it wasn't OK. Not in the least.

If I ever called him out on it, asking where he had been, why he thought it was fine to waltz in at any hour of the night, no apologies. He got angry those nights. I had felt the wrath of his temper too many times.

"Hermione, you know the life I am forced to live. Now if you want to go out there and do it yourself be my guest, but do not complain to me when all you do is sit around all day." He had said this many times, in different variations and subtleties.

"It's not easy carrying a baby either Draco. Why don't you give THAT a try?" I would scream back at him.

Our arguments were not pretty and we said things we didn't mean.

But that always got me, if we didn't mean them why would we say them? Why would we think them if we didn't mean them. In that sense I guess we really did mean everything we said. Maybe that's why things turned out the way they did.

It was now midnight and I decided to go to bed and stop waiting up for him.

"Goodnight Draco." I said to no one before trudging off to our room and falling asleep in our bed. But I was utterly alone.

"She looks more like you every time we see her doesn't she?" Ginny said conversationally on the car ride home. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. I shook my head. "Well tell me what the matter is already."

"Ginny I always told myself that I wouldn't have any regrets. But lately that's what my entire life is made of. One giant regret after the other."

"You made the choices you had to babe; there really wasn't a better alternative. Victoria is happy and that is what matters. I mean think about it, if you and Draco had kept her, would either of you even be alive right now?" I closed my eyes at the mention of his name.

"I don't want to talk about this right now." Ginny gave me a disappointed glance.

"And look, this is what he's made you into. I hope he's proud." That was too much.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you saying this is all his fault? I know you never liked him, but you forget, I LOVED him. So I would appreciate it if you backed off."

We were silent for a long while. A light rain started to fall, soon escalating into a heavy downpour. Ginny made a quick turn and stopped the car on the side of the road.

"Hermione, I know that your life is hard and has been for quite some time now. And I have always been there for you. But don't you see that always acting like this is driving people away? You were so lucky to find Eric, he loved you! He would have done anything for you. But now he is gone too."

"Is there a point to this other than pointing out what a screw up I am Gin? And what happened to 'he just wasn't the one'?" She sighed and took my hand.

"There is never going to be anyone who can quite replace Draco in your eyes, I know that as well as you do. But there are other people who will love you just as much, treat you better, someone you can start a real life with. Everyone just wants you to be happy."

"I haven't been happy for a long time now Ginny. I don't expect to ever be truly happy again. Not after what I did, I don't deserve it."

"You did what you had to do to stay alive."

"And in the process I probably killed the only person I've ever loved."

"But you kept Victoria alive, doesn't that matter?" I was silent. Nodding suddenly seemed so overrated. Instead I broke down into tears, and I reveled in the fact that, with the rain, the whole world seemed to be crying with me.

-FLASHBACK-

"Hermione, sweetie. Baby wake up." Draco whispered urgently. I stirred and looked at him groggily. "There's no time. They've found me! They'll kill us if we don't get out now!"

I moved as quickly as I could, which wasn't very fast considering my stomach was 10 times its normal size and my ankles were the size of cantaloupes. Draco was in hysterics and it wasn't helping me stay calm. We had to think fast. I headed to the fireplace, thinking of where we could go.

"We can't floo, they will have it monitored." Draco whispered across the empty living room.

"You know I can't apparate! The baby, I won't risk her life!" He grinned momentarily.

"So it's a girl?" I nodded, and I could see tears in his eyes. He walked towards me and enveloped me. He sniffled, and wiped his eyes. "We're going to have a beautiful baby girl."

"Draco we have to get out of here." I pleaded. He nodded, trying to think.

"If I floo first they'll take me and leave. Then you can get out of here. And go to Molly's or Harry's or anyone's I don't care but hide until you hear from me."

"Draco, I'm not going to be separated from you again. She's coming any day. There has to be another way." I was crying now, because I was beginning to see that we would be separated, and I realized if that was the case I may not ever see him again.

"There is no other way."

"What if they-" He placed a finger over my lips.

"I will come back for you. For both of you." I nodded. I had to believe him. "I love you Hermione. Never forget that."

"I love you Draco. Be careful." He nodded and walked slowly toward the fireplace. He looked at me one last time and threw down the floo powder, disappearing to who knows where.

I had to be strong. He said he would come back. I had to believe him. I went to the fireplace, shouting my destination, and felt the pull on my belly. It was extremely unpleasant now and I was beginning to feel sick. When I landed on hard ground in Harry's flat I threw up, sobbing all the while.

Harry was sitting on the couch in his living room, watching a quidditch match on the television. He rushed over to me as soon as he heard me. He knelt down next to me and gave me a hug as I continued to cry.

"He's gone Harry. They found him. We've been hiding from them for months but they found us."

"Slow down Mione, slow down. Draco's gone?" I nodded heavily. Harry drew in a breath. "And he's gone because the Death Eaters found him?"

I didn't have to answer, he already knew.

"He promised me Harry. He told me it was all over. We were fighting all the time because he would come in late; I knew it was because he was still doing… whatever it is the Death Eaters are doing now. So he promised he would stop."

"Hermione-"

"And he did. He stopped, but they came looking for him. But he promised he'd come back. If he kept his promise last time, he has to keep it this time, right? He has to come back." Harry bit his lip, but nodded.

"Mione, how do you know he stopped? Are you sure he hasn't had any involvement lately? Because if so, this could just be another mission, and he could just be-"

"Of course he stopped! Do you think he would lie to me?"

"He's done it before, so you never know." I stood shocked, and Harry just looked down at his feet.

"Draco doesn't lie to me. He loves me, and he would do anything for me." Harry looked up before I added, "Unlike some people I used to be friends with."

There was a long silence. We both stared, daring the other to say something. Finally Harry shook his head and turned around.

"I'm going to bed. You're welcome to the guest room. If you need anything, well, I guess you know where everything is." He called as he retreated down the hall. He slammed his door and a few seconds later I heard the shower start.

The walk to the guest room was a long one, not in distance, but it seemed to go in slow motion. I felt sick and weak, and suddenly I doubled over in pain. I breathed steadily, in and out. Another sickening pain. Then there was water beneath my feet. The baby was coming. The baby was coming and Draco wasn't here.

Back at Ginny's house later, I realized Ginny had been right. I apologized, and of course she accepted. With the way I've been feeling lately I can only guess how I've been acting. I decided to call Eric, to see if everything was OK.

"Hello?" A voice I recognized as his answered.

"Eric, hey it's Hermione. I'm sorry I haven't called before now. I just… I didn't want to hurt you any more than I already did."

"It's OK, I'm glad you called. I was worried about you. Plus I missed you." I sighed. He was still in love with me, I could already tell, just by the tone of his voice.

"Eric, I'm in England. London actually. In Ginny's flat. I came back here because-"

"I know where you are. Ginny called me pretty soon after you got there." Note to self: Kill Ginny.

"Eric, I don't think I'll be coming home." He was silent except for his breathing.

"I guess you really did mean everything you said. I hoped maybe you were just upset. I thought maybe we could work things out."

"I realized today what a horrible person I've been. How everything bad in my life is what's real and everything good has just been a lie. I lied to you. I told you I loved you and I would never leave you. I truly hoped I was telling the truth. I wanted it to be true."

"I only wanted to make you happy. I'm sorry I couldn't."

"You did, Eric. You did for a while. But until I'm happy with myself and my life, no one could ever really make me happy. I'm only sorry I couldn't have made it work."

"I'll always be around Mia. If you-"

"Thank you Eric, I mean it. But I want you to be happy too. Find someone who will love you like you should be loved. Someone better than me."

"Maybe someday. But for now I'm still in love with you."

"Goodbye Eric." He took a heavy breath before sadly saying goodbye to me too.

-FLASHBACK-

I looked out the window, out at the snowy trees. I held my daughter, Victoria, in my arms. I rocked her slowly, holding her hand. She was nearly a month old. She was so beautiful. Draco would love her. He would never leave her side, and he would look at her with starry eyes the same way he looked at me. He would do that if he was here.

He had been missing since the night of Victoria's birth and I hadn't heard from him. I was quickly losing hope for him. But he promised me. He had never broken a promise to me. A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought that maybe he never would again. But I couldn't think like that. He was coming back. If not for me, then for Victoria.

The snow gleamed in the morning light. I almost overlooked the set of footprints that had appeared in the snow, leading directly toward the house. Almost. But I looked closer, and saw that they led to a window near the garage. The window was open. Someone was in the house.

I raced toward the kitchen; my wand was sitting on the counter, next to the untouched coffee pot. I hated coffee, but Draco drank it every morning. I kept a fresh pot, in anticipation of his return home. I had thrown away many pots of coffee lately.

Once I had my wand in my hand, I clutched Victoria tightly to my chest and apparated to Harry's flat. I was breathing heavily as I ran toward his room. I opened the door without knocking. There was a girl with platinum blonde hair in his bed with him. She awoke first, and then poked Harry in the ribs, trying to cover herself with a sheet.

"Hermione, what the hell?" I rolled my eyes as he rolled out of bed. I turned my head as he searched for his boxers.

"Hello to you too Harry. But enough with the formalities. It happened again." I turned around, figuring I had allowed him enough time. The girl looked confused, but I figured that could be how she looked normally. Harry sighed.

"How do they keep getting past the spell? And why the hell are they so stupid to come in broad daylight? Hello its not called the cover of darkness for nothing."

"OK well what do I do? I can't keep running away. And what if I didn't notice it? What if they are there when I get home one day? Harry I shouldn't have to be scared in my own home."

"Then move. I know you don't want to, but if you moved, you would be much safer." I shook my head, patting Victoria on the back.

"I can't leave. What if he comes back looking for me and we're not there?" Harry shook his head, and walked over to me. He lifted Victoria from my arms and kissed her on the forehead. I paced back and forth. "Harry, we bought that house together, we lived there since we graduated. It was ours, I can't leave it behind."

"Hermione, what if he isn't coming back? Are you going to stay there forever?"

"I told him once that I would wait for him forever. And I will." He shook his head.

"Well you wait there forever then, but what about Tory huh? Don't you care about her safety?" I hesitated. "Mione what's wrong with you. She's your daughter. Yours and Draco's. If you are so concerned about a HOUSE how can you not be concerned about your daughter?"

"Of course I'm concerned about her Harry. I just…" I looked down at her, thinking of how much Draco would love her. "I wasn't prepared to do this on my own. Draco and I were going to be in this together. We talked about what we would do with her, and how she would love growing up in that house. It just isn't right without Draco."

"There are always options." I nodded.

"Trust me, I've looked into them. I just want to do the right thing."

"What is the right thing in this situation Mione?" Harry asked quietly. I shook my head. "Look, I'll go check your house. And I'll do the spell again. But I want you to start packing up tonight. Go to Ginny's now, or leave Tory there and get out for a while. Just do some thinking."

I took Victoria from him and nodded at the girl in his bed. I looked down at the girl in my arms. She reminded me so much of Draco. It killed me every time I looked at her. I couldn't figure out why I didn't love her as much as I loved him.

I woke up early on Saturday morning, I had only slept for a few hours, but the thought of returning to bed where I couldn't stop dreaming about him didn't appeal to me. I had been able to forget him for a long time, but now…

Instead of lounging around and moping I decided to go into Diagon Alley, maybe buy lots of junk I didn't need and make myself feel better that way. I readied myself and left a note for Ginny, who rarely awoke before 11 AM. I gripped my wand and with a pop I was gone.

Once I arrived I was able to breath in the fresh air. This place was the only constant in my life. Everything else changed all the time, but Diagon Alley stayed the same, and I suspected it would forever. Very few shops had changed; some had repainted their storefronts, one had closed down when the wizard who ran it died, and then there was Wheezes that stuck out like a sore thumb (but generated more profit than probably any other store).

I saw one of the twins in the distance opening up the shop, setting up a new display outside the front window. I walked over to him and watched as he took such precision in arranging every last piece. I chuckled a little, which got his attention. Once he looked up I could tell it was George.

"Mione, what brings you here at this ungodly hour?" He asked playfully.

"What makes it ungodly? It's already 7:30. And I was just walking around. I haven't slept well lately." I replied.

"Well come in, lets have some coffee." I shook my head hesitantly. "I don't bite… hard. Come on!"

"No it's just… I don't drink coffee." He rolled his eyes.

"Then I'll make tea instead. You do drink tea right? Or would you rather I brewed up some Kool Aid?"

"Ha-ha, very funny. Tea would be lovely. Unless you'd rather the Kool Aid." He shook his head and steered me inside. The shop was dimly lit, not all of the lights were on. I must have gotten here not long after George had. We went behind the counter and into the back room where a makeshift kitchen was set up.

George busied himself with the tea as I looked around. There were pictures of Fred and Kelly, pictures of Ginny including one with Harry during their brief dating period, even the one of me and Eric that we sent out in our wedding invitations. But not a single picture of George could be found.

"How come there are no pictures of you up here George?" I questioned.

"I don't photograph well." He said briefly. I laughed.

"You have an identical twin who seems to photograph just fine…"

"Well don't you see the theme of all these pictures?" He asked. I looked again, but I was unsure of what he meant. I shook my head. "They are all of happy couples, eh?"

"Hardly. The only happy couple up there is Fred and Kelly. Ginny and Harry dated for all of five minutes, so I think that disqualifies them. And I officially broke it off with Eric yesterday. So what were you saying about happy couples?"

"I mean that they were all taken when the people in them loved each other."

"Well I still don't see why there are none of you up there." I said, accepting the cup of tea he offered.

"Because I've never had anyone to take the pictures with, that's why." He was becoming irate having to answer these questions.

"I don't mean to pry, but haven't you ever been in love?" He looked past me to the wall with the framed pictures all smiling back.

"I thought I was in love with a girl for a very long time. But then I realized to be in love, someone has to love you back. And she never did. She always had someone else." He stared at me for a moment, looking deep into my eyes.

"Did you ever tell her you loved her?" I said barely above a whisper.

"No. No I never did. She was, and still is apparently, very in love with someone else."

"Even so, I'm sure she loves you. Even if it's just as a friend, a brother." I took his hand, trying to comfort him. He smiled and looked into my eyes again.

"Yea, I figure she kinda does." I smiled sadly and looked back at the pictures on the wall. The person I was in that picture looked so happy. Maybe I could become her again.

-FLASHBACK-

I paced back and forth in my dingy apartment, trying to busy myself. I was wearing the same dirty robe I had been wearing for two days. Victoria was crying in the other room. I hadn't slept for the better part of a week. I had seen an article in the Sunday paper that had troubled me. That, combined with Victoria's recent tendency to sleep for only thirty minutes at a time, was making me crazy.

The paper informed me that the Malfoy Manor was being auctioned off since the owner, one Narcissa Malfoy, had neglected to pay the bills for 3 months. Upon further inspection, Mrs. Malfoy had been found dead in her basement. The Ministry has no leads as of yet, except they suspect the crime was part of a recent rampage against former Death Eaters by the current followers of the Dark Movement.

The funeral was tomorrow. Molly was going to watch Victoria for me so I could attend. I thought that if Draco was still alive, if he had somehow learned of his mothers' death he would be there.

I dropped Tory off with Mrs. Weasley around 9 the morning of the service. I wore a very conservative black dress and tried to look as mournful as possible. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't be going, Narcissa never took a liking to me. But the lingering hope that Draco could be there lived on.

I stood in the back of the hall, and listened quietly to the eulogy that was delivered by Narcissa's sister. I looked down the rows, searching for a blonde head. I couldn't find one sitting down, but what if he was wearing a hat? What if he was sitting in front of someone very tall? He had to be here.

As the pallbearers took the coffin down the aisle and outside toward the grave site I stood and looked frantically around as people started to file out. He wasn't here. As the last of the people left the stuffy hall my heart sank. Why wasn't he here? He couldn't break his promise. How could he?

(A/N) I'm terribly sorry for the long wait! Your reviews got me working again though. I'm also posting the final chapter tonight, so be on the lookout. LOVE! DiM aka A.Ro.