In Our Garden of Snow and Roses
"Between the conception,
And the creation,
Between the emotion,
And the response,
Falls the Shadow."
- T. S. Eliot
(The Hollow Men)
Upon the Snow Fields of Akabeko
The good is, like nature, an immense
landscape in which man advances through
centuries of exploration.
-- Jose Ortegay Gasset
(Meditations on Quixote)
Kaoru clutched at the long strands of soft fur on the wolf's neck. They sped through the forest so fast that the shadows of trees blurred to black and the wind was silent to her ears in the darkness. It was almost like they were flying, and before she knew it, the trees fell away into the distance until only clusters remained. On and on the beaten path went until the wolf made a sharp turn into a field that seemed like an ocean of emptiness, stretching forever into the distance.
Wrapped with a blanket around her, Kaoru fell to sleep in the cold night and woke to see they had gone to a place she knew not of. No civilization seemed to be in sight for miles, and the dead grass from the night before were now covered by thick tufts of snow. She could not figure how deep the snow was, for the wolf traveled so fast and so lightly that he did not leave even one paw print in the gathered white marred by the red of the setting sun. Still, they flew on until darkness came and the sky became infested with billions of stars, their lights no longer masked by the lights of human civilization. And though Kaoru could hardly see the ground or the landmarks that they passed, she saw instead rivers and bands of light, snaking and dancing in the sky. Patterns upon patterns of it flowed before Kaoru's inexperienced eyes, so familiar a sight that she blinked in recollection of the distant dream and the sounds that sang from the sky, an unfamiliar song.
"Kenshin," she murmured to the darkness overhead. Kaoru, remembering his words and the river of lights that were not as vivid as the reality of it now, followed the beautiful dance of lights with awe in her gaze. "Eternity?" she mouthed, not quite sure of the significance of that single word.
The wolf's ears twitched but no words were exchanged until at last they stopped. He trotted a bit more in the endless snow, sniffing the air with a shrewd glint in his eyes that Kaoru could not see. Not knowing why they had stopped moving, Kaoru looked around and gasped in amazement when the snow before them fell away to reveal a woman with pale skin and dark hair. Rising, her figure emerged as if the woman was breaking away from water. "Mibu's wolf," said the woman in greeting and surprise. "Have you finally learned the lesson of humbleness so to let off this curse you carry?"
The wolf snorted beneath Kaoru. "I will not concede to such petty foolishness, woman," said he in reply, fur ruffled and chest rumbling in a growl of protest. "The only curse you have ever accused me of carrying was my arrogance, but I believe I informed you last time that those accusations were misplaced."
Kaoru squinted at the woman whose pale face glimmered softly under moonlight, pure and unblemished. "My name is Kaoru. Kamiya Kaoru," she introduced herself to the snow woman. "Are you the Snow Queen that the wolf has told me of?" asked Kaoru in curiosity and awe.
The wolf barked a laugh while the woman only raised a sculpted brow at this in amusement. "That cold fish?" the snow woman asked with a small smile twisting her lips. "No dear, not I. My name is Tae of the Akabeko's Fields of Snow, guardian of this land that you stand on now." Tae smiled kindly at the flustered Kaoru. "It is alright dear, that woman's self-proclaimed title is easily misleading. Come, I invite you in child." And with a dour look at the wolf, Tae sighed heavily before adding, "And you too, Hajime. I guess there's no way around inviting a wolf into a helpless woman's home now," she said, "though I would not have expected such slyness from a wolf who doesn't seem to have any skills but bluntness."
Only then did the wolf venture forward from his spot before Tae, taking Kaoru with him. He snorted at the comment she made while he gracefully leapt further onto the fields. "Sly? Helpless?" he asked. "Compared to whom?"
Tae only smiled mysteriously as she raised tables and chairs around them. A fire place appeared with fire blue as thick ice, warm and cackling and filled with magic.
Kaoru looked about in awe as she tentatively got off of the wolf. Her foot settled upon the firm ground beneath her feet. Kaoru quickly discovered that wherever she walked in the thick snow, she would not sink, even though she knew the snow must be deep where she stood. The snow itself was soft and warm beneath her feet, and Kaoru laughed in fascination, running around upon the fluff with vigor before finally settling. Her flushed cheeks shone as she smiled brightly at the amused looks sent her way by her hostess and the usually aloof wolf. Food was then laid out before her, ice-crystal plates and bowls, lavished with warm soups and exotic looking things that tantalized the senses. Realizing her hunger, Kaoru needed only glance at the smiling and inviting face of Tae to begin the meal placed before her.
"My, what a hungry girl," laughed the hostess. But no matter how much Kaoru ate, the plates never emptied. So, Kaoru stopped only when she could eat no more, as the food before her remained perfectly arrayed, as if she had never touched it.
"What magic is this?" Kaoru exclaimed in surprise and curiosity.
Tae grinned as she cast a glance at the wolf and then to Kaoru. "I shall answer your question. But first, I wish to hear of your journey, Hajime," Tae addressed the wolf. "And then, I wish to hear our dear Kaoru's tale as well."
So the wolf began his tale. He spoke about how he had one day traveled far from his domain, upon hearing a tale that was whispered on the winds about the injustice south of his borders. Wanting to only survey to see if such things would encroach upon his territory, the wolf found himself injured when he had had an encounter with an enchanted bush and the nymph that lived within it. A cruel and clever nymph it was, for it tricked the wolf to trap him in the cruel grips of a bush that would not let go of him, leaving it vulnerable to be captured by humans.
Dissatisfied with what he had seen in the smoke stacked factories only a few miles from his domain, the wolf had only wanted to go back home. But the nymph would not let him and only when the Oniwaban arrived did she escape, leaving him behind to be captured. By that time he was weak from exhaustion and hunger that he was unable to defend himself against the experienced fighters of the Oniwaban. Those men then chained him to an enchanted rock in the cave that refused to budge no matter how harshly he pulled, collaring him with silver that would not break and forcing him to not be able to harm anyone through its own brand of magick.
"Tokio would be glad to see you back," winked Tae at the disgruntled wolf. The wolf only to shot a contemptuous look at their hostess, knowing she was laughing at his wounded pride. "And what of your tale, Kaoru dear?" Startled by this sudden attention, Kaoru swallowed her questions for the wolf and told her own story. She spoke of Kenshin and their childhood years, about how he disappeared on his way to college and her journey to find him. She could not see it, but Tae saw the glow that seemed to surround Kaoru as her eyes sparkled more brightly than before as she spoke of her memories shared with someone so obviously lost to the clutches of the Snow Queen. Even the cynical wolf stayed quiet, watching Kaoru too with lidded eyes.
"So I came," ended Kaoru. "To this place that I have dreamt of and that I have heard his trail led to."
Tae smiled then, and nodded slowly. "Sleep and rest here for the night, child. Soon you will reach the end of my and Hajime's territory and enter the Snow Queen's domain. But for now, you need rest."
Kaoru agreed and slept in a bed of snow, softer and warmer than any blanket and bed she had ever slept upon. And there she dreamt of Kenshin, secure in the knowledge of his growing nearness.
As Kaoru dreamed, the wolf and Tae walked far enough not to disturb their dreaming guest. "What do you think of her?" asked the wolf to the snow woman.
Tae smiled softly then. "That girl is enchanted, that she is. There is testament enough with you here, humble and asking for my guidance in the matter. Have you not noticed yourself how she shines? Of all the girls and women who have come this way, none has shone as she has. Perhaps that sad curse set upon them, that unbroken chain of sadness and suffering will finally have a chance to break."
The wolf glanced into the sky, golden eyes piercing through any illusions that may lay there. "Will you help her? You who rules over winter are strongest now with autumn fading in the East. You with the powers of the wind and the cold and the snow, that rushes through the planes. Will you help this girl? Will you give her a potion to increase her speed and strength to that of twenty men so that she may vanquish the Snow Queen?"
Tae smiled ruefully at the wolf's words then. "I have seen much in my days, but I had never expected such a day as this when you compliment me on my powers and ask me such favors in one breath, Hajime." The wolf growled at Tae warningly, but the snow woman reacted not to it in the least. "Such strength will do not for her at all. She has no need of it. The Snow Queen in her lone tower will not fall to the strength of Man. She has reigned this long in her unchanging castle without having some wits about her. That woman has her own way of conquering those who had came before our Kaoru, though she has been long in waiting for this girl to break her link in the spell put upon her.
"That Kenshin has been taken by the things at the Icy Palace, because he has a splinter in his eyes so that all things of life seem lifeless, allowing what is lifeless to seem more alive. He has a splinter in his heart so that the love he once possessed became a bitter indifference that will freeze even the kindest and strongest of souls to stillness. Such things must be removed for Kaoru to reach him, for this boy to find his humanity again. If this cannot be done, he will belong to the Snow Queen no matter how strong or fast Kaoru may be. And she, our Kaoru, would be but another woman who had came and fallen under the spell of the Snow Queen."
"You can do nothing for her then?" The wolf asked bitterly.
Tae studied him long and hard then. "Don't be so foolish, Hajime. I only help those who need it. Even you must have seen the strength within this girl you have brought to my doorstep. You who help no man and only follow the narrow path of Aku Soku Zan, even you have been taken with her. Have any of the others compelled you to do so in their selfish, human love?" Tae smiled as she then knelt before the wolf. "I can give her no more powers than what she already possesses. Don't you see how great it is already? How all beings serve her and bends to her will? How she is able to travel the world without even shoes to protect her feet and yet still go on without care? She has the power that stems from her kindness and her innocence. A power that we must not speak of and that she must discover on her own as none before her has. If she cannot save her Kenshin on her own, if she cannot hold on to her beliefs, no one can help her accomplish it. She must go to the Snow Queen by the morrow and on her own. She must discover her own strength and her own heart without any help from anyone.
"Set her by the borders of that bush where the red berries grows – where you have first met Tokio – and let her walk the rest of the way into the domain of the Snow Queen on her own, as all the others before her had done. She must go to the person she most adores by herself, traveling into the Snow Queen's domain is her own decision and she must face all the consequences of that choice without help from anyone else.
"Do not stay with her to watch her go. Do not converse with her further or encourage her unnecessarily. Get her there and let her be. Do not linger. Come quickly back, you hear? Even you must abide by the rules set by that unending spell."
The wolf growled in displeasure, but reluctantly nodded to such instructions. They let Kaoru sleep for a few more hours before waking her when the time came for morning. Kaoru, rubbing her eyes in the darkness, yawned and looked about. "It's still dark," she noted.
"It is that time of the year once more. The sun does not rise for many days and many weeks, but even in such darkness there is light." Tae explained with a mysterious smile, nodding to the dancing rivers and bands of light overhead. The snow woman watched Kaoru for a moment as she shook of the sleep in her eyes. "Child, if your friend is not as he was anymore, if he is a complete stranger now, what will you do?"
Kaoru looked surprised, her eyes wide in the dark, though sleep still lingered in her gaze despite her attempts to become more wakeful. "I—" Kaoru thought on this for a moment before she smiled a quiet smile. "I will still love him. No matter who he is now, Kenshin will always be Kenshin to me. Even if I shouldn't, I know I would still love him."
Tae watched her expression a quiet moment longer before giving her an answering smile. "Remember that child. Remember that conviction." Without further explanation, the snow woman rushed Kaoru along the way to the waiting wolf. On his back she was set once more, and before she could blink, Kaoru was on her way further north as Tae waved her goodbye from some unseen doorstep.
"Oh! I have forgotten both my gloves and boots!" Kaoru exclaimed, alarmed at this discovery. She only realized this when they had escaped the warmth of Tae's domain and winter crashed down upon her exposed skin harshly. Kaoru shivered in the cold air as the magical snow field faded behind the two travelers. The wolf went on gravely and did not reply this time, not even with a sardonic comment, instead he forged on even more quickly with each passing moment. Before Kaoru could remark about anything else, she found herself set down at a bush with lush berries, red as blood.
"Over yonder, beyond this bush, is the Snow Queen's domain. Here is where we shall part," the wolf gruffly explained as he studied Kaoru under the seemingly eternal night sky. There was surprising softness in his gleaming, golden eyes as the wolf touched his nose to one of Kaoru's cold and shivering hands. "Goodbye, Tanuki." Before Kaoru could form a puzzled response, the wolf vanished from before her eyes.
"Hey! You come back here!" Kaoru commanded once she realized what had happened. "You cannot part in such a rude manner! It isn't cool, you know?" But she was only shouting to empty air and nothing more. Her voice faded in the silence. Shivering and alone she glanced around her, past the bush to the snow hills before her. Not having much of a choice, Kaoru forged on bravely, whipping away the angry tears from her eyes.
"Idiot wolf," she muttered to herself as she jogged on in the direction she was pointed to. However, she took one last glance backwards at where she had come from, sadly recalling her journey here. "Goodbye," she whispered an echo. For all her anger, Kaoru wished she had at least been able to reply to such words with finality, even if the sadness lingered.
to be continued...