It was all my fault anyway.
The gentle wind caresses your pale skin as I sit alone on this branch, watching you carefully. Sometimes, whenever my hands would tremble once you turn your gaze to me, I'd turn away and pretend I wasn't looking. But you'd always smile anyway. And this made me realize...
How could I have let you go so easily?
You rest yourself against the trunk of this Maple tree, enjoying the melodies of the rhythmic songs of the insects around us. The way you looked, bathing in the sun's delicate red and orange rays, was absolutely perfect. Your milky eyes have grown softer as you caress a flower in your hand, with your hair hovering just above your shoulders. They sway in no particular fashion, but as I look at their raven color, it shines beautifully under the setting sun.
I could hear your gentle chuckle, which I have considered a haunting melody.
And slowly, you look up to meet my gaze. I push the bridge of my shades to conceal the dark orbs that I have hidden for so long. But you manage to smile. It was simple, uncomplicated and beautiful.
I could not help but arch up my lips a centimeter as well.
But in this late afternoon, under this perfect sunset and by this old Maple tree, I can only remember this day...and regret it.
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Once Upon a Shattered Life
An afternoon conversation under a Maple tree. Ten years. Change…and after all this, he decides to pay her a sudden visit. Was it too late? One-shot ShinoHina
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
His eyes were unable to stop shaking once he took sight on the small wooden house up ahead. Its features were simple and clean, well-built, satisfactory, mundane. But there was something about this little house that made his senses grow numb. Perhaps the cluster of raked leaves that lay unfinished, or the newly-trimmed bushes by the garden, along with the collection of colorful laundry that hung on a clothes' line as they basked under the playful sun's rays.
Her. Him. Children.
A family.
His heart stopped. After traveling through countless forests and cities, where this small family sought peace and tranquility, he found himself asking: What was he doing here anyway? The absurdity of his conscience nearly drove him insane for the past ten years, so he thought of paying her a sudden visit in the end. He wasn't about to disrupt their peace, but it was for old times' sake; he needed to straighten up his principles… and perhaps, let it all go.
Scrutinizing every little detail, from the number of rocks that created a simple pathway, to the exact pattern on how the shadows of a nearby tree lay on the small house's roof, he walked on. With his collar still held up high and his tinted lenses pushed back in order to hide his eyes, he continued on with only his pride and heart in the vanguard, still having no reason why he was on his way to her doorstep.
Desperate for changing
Striving for truth
I'm closer to where I started-
Chasing after you
He knocked on the mahogany door before him with firmness to declare his unexpected, if not, unwanted presence. After three knocks, he lowered his hand and averted his gaze to the polished floor beneath him. Shrugging, he thought,
Am I doing the right thing?
He heard a soft creak behind the door and barely deciphered the muffled reply of, "Just a minute." A few more creaks, and the door slowly opened. This time, he was holding his breath, completely overwhelmed by the unexpected chain of events coming his way. And there, in a second, he met the gaze of a young woman with milky eyes, neatly-tucked raven hair and a shy smile to complete her image.
"I'm so sorry. I was still fixing up when I heard you-"
Her narration ceased when her eyes met the qualities of a young man standing at her doorstep. Surprised, she opened the door wholly, still in deep awe.
Not wanting to wait, Shino tucked the bridge of his shades and began, "Hinata-san."
He bowed courteously while she stood there, still remaining unresponsive. Until such time when Aburame Shino had risen up to meet her gaze once more, Hyuuga Hinata's eyes began to soften.
"Shino-kun. You came afterall."
Her voice was still as soft as a whisper, but he noticed even the slightest of change. The relief in her tone, as if after a long time of waiting, was evident in her voice. She grew lovelier, as he also noticed. Ah, but ten years was cruel for him. Because of the enormous time he spent in silence, she was busy pouring her love to a family he knew nothing of. Until now.
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.
Before he could even continue on, he saw two children in the background, playing a game of tag. His hidden eyes caught sight on the cheerful jetblack-haired boy with the features of a lad he knew so long ago. Beside him was another child, sweet, delicate and shy. She had her blonde hair tucked in a braid, and a small pout on her lips once her brother caught hold of her.
Hinata was aware of her visitor's steady gaze, so she decided to speak.
She smiled slowly. "A hassle. But I'm contented."
This caused his eyes to return to her. But he remained silent.
She laughed quietly, shyly covering her mouth with a pale hand. With cheeks slightly flushed, and with tender compassion running through her body, he was only sure that nothing had changed since then. This was the way he'd picture her out to be after ten years. She wasn't at all different. But one cannot help but question:
Did he change?
Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely and complete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me
"Gomene, Shino-kun. Everyone else seems to react quite differently when they see our children," Hinata explained, containing the amout of laughter that came out of her.
The "our" as she puts it declares her love for the loudmouth openly. Moreover, he felt like a selfish man by showing up on her doorstep just to observe how her life has been without asking any questions.
But it seems that he could not sense a slight taste of bitterness in her life so far. She was as happy as anyone could be. And, he wondered, would he have given her this much happiness if Uzumaki Naruto had not claimed her?
The slight curiosity in the way his brow arched was noticeable. "Everyone else?" he repeated questioningly.
Hinata smiled. "Kiba comes here often. The first time he knew about Akina and Kazuo, he immediately ran towards them to play and observe their common features. He also spends some time with them by babysitting…"
Just to imagine Kiba taking care of children was absurd. He changed as well.
Her voice then began to trail off. "And Sakura-san, too, came here a few weeks ago with Sasuke-san. Sakura-san has been clinging onto Sasuke-san's arm, telling him how their seemingly boring lifestyle will change with children around the house." This time, her eyes began to meet his. "But it seems that you're…"
Shino sensed sadness.
"Silent," he spoke.
Even until now, Hinata could not quite picture out the reason why he had left her waiting. The emptiness in his replies and the steady gazes he possessed were aspects of the Shino she knew so well. And, as they say, even silence can hurt more than a thousand daggers.
"What brought you to this doorstep?" The question was delivered nonchalantly, hiding the anxiousness that lurked behind it.
"I came… to say hello," he replied just as casually...but he was aching inside.
A woman such as Hinata would dare not ask further questions about the topic. She knew he tried to avoid it. But she decided to ignore it for the time being.
"Ah, forgive my rudeness. Shino-kun, won't you step inside?" Her old, cheerful voice returned, erasing the tone she resurfaced earlier. Eyes smiling, she opened the door to welcome him in.
However, he only stood still, only allowing the zephyr to enter such a place he considered restricted for his feet to touch. The lawn was enough. He only wanted to see her. There was no need to be welcomed.
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know where I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
Ten years ago, during that lonely afternoon by the old Maple tree, he promised to himself that he'd let her go.
He told her he'd make her happy… but he didn't necessarily mean he'd be a part of her happiness.
Hinata waited for him then.
She was certain he'd come and reciprocate the feelings she felt towards him. Afterall, during that time, her feelings for Naruto only amounted to friendship. For Shino, she was smitten.
So she waited.
And waited.
Until finally, Naruto realized his stupidity and fell head-first on the ground for Hinata. Eventually, her feelings returned. They were married. And Shino… he was too late.
Stupid, as it may seem, but he tried to contain his emotions when after six years of silence, he knew about their wedding. Four years later, here he stood, right on the Uzumaki doorstep, reminiscing.
He wanted to take her back from Naruto and pour everything he needed to. But he lost the right to do so.
"I must be off now, Hinata-san," he said in his usual low voice. There were hints of something more, which Hinata could not quite understand, that wanted to be expressed. Then again, he was afraid she'd catch even the slightest hint that he had not yet learned to set her free.
But the expression in her eyes was understanding. She knew about everything, from the tree, to the silence... and perhaps, even to the regret.
"I would have loved it if you came in," she urged him.
"As I've said, I only came to say hello."
"Tea would have been nice, Shino-kun."
"I have responsibilites waiting for me back at home."
Hinata bit her lip as her grip on the doorknob tightened. "Shino-kun..."
Do not welcome a stranger into your home. Do not urge me to look at a life I wish I had been a part of. Look away now...and I will leave. There is nothing to talk about. And if I do not leave as soon as possible, I may attempt to take you with me and tell you to love me again, he thought bitterly. But he suppressed all these feelings with one, long sigh. Aburame Shino pushed the bridge of his shades once more, and then gave her a bow.
"Duty calls, Hinata-san."
I'm falling even more in love with you.
Shino turned to leave... but Hinata had lost ger girp on the doorknob that she unconsciously reached out for his hand.
Letting go of all I've held onto
Surprised by her sudden reaction, she quickly withdrew her hand, not without an audible shade of red inavding her cheeks. An apologetic bow came after... but she felt, in that brief moment when her skin had touched his, her feelings resurface. Knowing better, she threw it all away. Afterall, she made a commitment.
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
As if emotions have become vestige, he only turned to her for a moment, tucked a strand of her silky raven hair behind her ear wordlessly, smiled a little, then walked away. Just like that. Simple gestures were all it took to make her see how much he still cared for her up to now. They were enough.
Hinata leads a different life now. Perhaps, as he realized, it was time for him to move on. For the ten years being away from her, he kept himself busy by erasing her from his past. This visit was his last resort. And perchance finally, he will be able to muster enough courage to take her hand for the last time and place it beside a man he had long envied.
"Meet my children when you come back then." There was always hope in her eyes.
"Someday." He murmured, his back still facing her.
For a second, she felt like she wanted to escort him out the path. But all she could do was apologize. "Gomene, Shino-kun. I know you waited. And I did as well." She hesitated for a moment before she continued, "But it seems that ten years had hurt me enough."
He understood greatly. And just as naturally as seasons change, there is always an end to every beginning.
It was his fault from the start. But once upon a shattered life, he learned to love.
And it was okay to let her go now.
As he sped on his way out the rocky path, he met Uzumaki Naruto, who happened to be on his way home already. Pleased to see him, he asked Shino to stay over for dinner. But the latter respectfully denied his offer.
He then told him, "Before the bugs and worms eat up your corpse, promise me you won't leave her."
Not knowing what to reply, the loudmouth only nodded absentmindedly. Typical Naruto. But this made him smile inwardly. Shino dashed off to the forest, on his search of a life of his own. And there stood Naruto, still utterly clueless for receiving a weird question from someone he had not seen for a decade.
owari
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Baka, clueless Naruto. :)
Unoriginal plot, eh? I've read similar stories like this one... gomen. A ShinoHina pair was perfect anyways. OOC, short, complicated descriptions, I know. (sighs)
Disclaimer on the song used: "Hanging by a moment" by Lifehouse.
arigatou for reading! Your reviews will be much appreciated!
Comments, suggestions, flames, violent reactions will be quite alright. It's still my 2nd Naruto fic so there is still SO MUCH room for improvement.
.:MeNdori-cHaN:. is tired