Title: Unforgivable Sinners 2 : The Past Never Forgets
Summary: The sequel to Unforgivable Sinners. Yuriko, Stryker and Logan's pasts are soon to be revealed. Where will this journey to the past take them? How will it end once they rediscover themselves? Will they hold on to the past, or move on to a new future?
Note: This fanfiction occurs entirely in the X-Men movie-verse =). 'nuff said =)!
SKETTY24 – OoOohhh...the 'drama' continues in this chapter ;)! Lol. I'm really not sure when I'll add some heart-thumping exhilarating action scenes, but I'll see if I can ;). Anyway, more Logan and Yuriko interaction in this chapter =D!
CAPT. O' HAGAN (gotta love that name. Lol). – Thank you so much for sticking with my story for this long =D!!! And I do hope that you stick around 'til the end ;)! Anyway, 'tis true...Villains like Stryker and Magneto add color and excitement to a story =)! Without them, the X-Men would only end up kick some juveniles' butts. LMAO! As for Yuriko, Stryker and Logan, I was actually thinking of making Yuriko stay with Stryker all throughout the night, but uh, I think most of the readers wouldn't have liked that. LOL!!! And I think it was better for Yuriko to be with Logan anyway =) (they need to spend more time together. Lol).
ANGELICA = It's really GREAT to know that you're loving the story =D!!! And I do agree...there aren't many, Logan/Yuriko and Stryker fanfics out there =)!!! Well, I hope you love this next chapter ;)! Thanks again for the wonderful review =D!!! Let the Logan/Yuriko interaction continue!!!!
Chapter 55: Promises to keep
Yuriko smiled and gently moved her hand away from Logan's cheek, placing it back on the bed, right next to her chest. Her eyes continued to stare into his piercing brown ones. She wanted to look at them as if she was looking at them for the first time. "Then I want you to promise me something, Logan." She said softly.
"What's that?" He asked. He missed her touch already. He wanted to feel her skin against his again. He longed to feel her so close to him.
"I want you to promise me that you'll be by my side tomorrow, when I wake up from my past. I want you to be there to hold my hand and remind me of who I am as you remember me now. I want you to tell me how you feel for me...how much you want me to stay. I need you to do that for me, Logan." She said as she looked intensely into his eyes. She would need him tomorrow more than she had ever needed him.
"I have a feeling that my journey to the past isn't going to be a smooth one. I have a feeling that I will wake up questioning my entire existence...questioning who I really am and what I'm supposed to do. That's why I need you to be there...to pull me together." She needed someone who would welcome her home. And Logan was the only one who could do that. Ironically, it was a person from her past, who would make her realize the true beauty of the present.
"I'll be there, Yuriko. I'll be there." He said firmly, looking deep into her eyes.
He gently ran his hand down her cheek and moved his face closer to her. Then he closed his eyes and gently pressed his lips against hers. Yuriko's eyes opened wide as she felt his lips planted firmly against her own. She remained unmoving as she accepted his lingering kiss. As surprised as she was, she did accept it. And the only thing she could feel at the moment was his soft lips and her heart thumping in her chest.
She remembered how he had kissed her in her vision...that tender, loving kiss he had given her in the past. And somehow, this kiss felt the same way. His lips still felt the same against her lips, as if their love never faded. He kissed her as if he loved her as much as he did in the past. Perhaps deep inside, he knew that he once did.
Logan's eyes opened wide with shock and he quickly pulled away from her. He looked so lost and confused as quick breaths escaped from his lips. His eyes wandered all over her face, waiting for her reaction on what he had just done. He never meant to kiss her. He wasn't supposed to kiss her, but something in him prompted him too. He wasn't even prepared for it. It felt like an impulse, a dream, an urge...something he couldn't control. But it felt so right. The kiss felt like it was meant to be.
"I'm sorry." He said as he looked away from her. "I'm sorry." He said again in a whisper. He really didn't know how to explain what he had just done. He didn't want her to think that he took advantage of the moment, took advantage of her frailty.
Yuriko was also breathing so fast and hard as Logan pulled his lips away from hers. She could still feel her heart beating so fast in her chest. She felt like she had just woken up from a dream that had left her so breathless. She looked at him and saw him looking away from her as if he couldn't find the guts to look back into her eyes. But she didn't want him to look away. She wanted him to look at her. She wanted him to look at her the way that he did in those vision. She wanted him to look at her with those same, caring, brown eyes that once looked at her with so much love.
She continued to look at his face, looking for a sign if he remembered even an ounce of the love that they once had. She could tell him now, of the past they had together, but she didn't want to force it onto him. She wanted him to recall it by himself. So she just laid there, looking at him, waiting for him to look at her...look at her and kiss her again and never pull away. And if he does kiss her again, if he kisses her again with those same soft lips, she would kiss him back and hold him so close and sleep in his arms until the sun rises and shines through his room's window.
Then he looked back at her. And as he did, Yuriko felt her heart sank...for his eyes were void of the love and the passion that she wanted to see from him.
"I'll sleep on the floor." He said as he looked back at her. His voice, like his eyes, also lacked the emotion that could have supported the kiss he had given her.
Logan looked at her face, but he couldn't seem to look into her eyes. He did want to kiss her again. He wanted to feel his skin against her skin and his lips against her lips, but he didn't want to scare her away. He didn't want to move too fast. After all, he wasn't even sure if she felt the same way about him. What if she didn't feel the same connection that he was feeling towards her? Should he even tell of her this 'connection'?
Yuriko was about to reach out to touch his face again, but Logan suddenly stood up and turned away from her. "If you need anything, just wake me up." He said firmly.
He didn't want to look at her again. Because if he did, he knew he would pull her close to him and kiss her and tell her how much he had fallen in love with her on the first day that they've been together. Perhaps he would do that...someday. But not now. Because Yuriko was on the verge of rediscovering her past, rediscovering herself. And he would rather tell her his feelings after the procedure, once everything was finally clear to her.
Yuriko silently sighed in dismay and shifted on the bed so that she was lying on her back. Her eyes wandered at the glimmering window and she once again saw the stars that scattered all throughout the dark sky. She pulled the blanket over her body and pulled it up to her chest. She still couldn't stop thinking of what just happened between them a while ago...his kiss and his emotionless stare. Was it really right for her to expect from Logan the love that they once shared? Was it right for her to want him to look at her and love her in the exact same way that he had loved her before?
But then, why would she want a love that had come and gone? Why base her hopes and dreams on the past that she could never relive?
From the corner of her eye she could see him walking to his cabinet. He opened it and kneeled down. He rummaged through his clothing and found three folded blankets underneath them. One of them looked thick enough to be a comforter. He pulled them out, stood up, and walked beside the bed where Yuriko was laying. Neither of them looked at each other. Not even a glance. It's like they weren't even there.
He spread the thickest blanket and laid it on the floor right next to the bed. Despite his refusal to touch her and look at her for the rest of the night, he still wanted to sleep close to her as he possibly could. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe from anything that might hurt her. He wanted to be there for her if she ever needed anything. He wanted to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up tomorrow morning.
He threw the other folded blanket near the edge of his self-made mattress. That blanket would serve as his pillow. He really wasn't in the mood to knock on someone else's door to ask for an appropriate mattress or a blanket or a pillow. After all, when he was a wanderer, he only slept in his truck...comfort wasn't really one of his priorities. He took off his shoes and left them there on the floor.
Then he crawled on to the comforter and took one last look at Yuriko. He could see her still looking at the window. The distant look in her eyes made her seem like she was yearning for something, and he wished he knew what it was. But if he did, would he be able to give it to her? Would he be able to give her what she wanted? What she yearned for? He looked away and exhaled. He probably wouldn't.
He laid down on the mattress and rested his head on the folded blanket that he had thrown there earlier. Then he reached out for the other blanket and unfolded it over him, covering himself up to his stomach. He shifted himself in his bed on the floor until he found a comfortable position. It had been a while since he had slept on solid ground. He could still remember the time, fifteen years ago, when he first escaped from the lab and wandered alone and cold in the Canadian wilderness. He had to hunt for his survival and sleep on cold, snow-covered ground when he couldn't fight his own fatigue anymore. He lived like an animal, but he survived like a human being.
A gentle sigh escaped from his lips as he looked at the ceiling. He still couldn't believe the impact of Yuriko's arrival in his life. She had done more than fill the gap that Jean had left in his being...Yuriko made him feel complete. She made him feel content. She made him want to accept who he was and what he was. And now, he needed her as much as he needed air to breathe. When he found her that day, he found someone he didn't know he was looking for, someone he didn't know he needed. But what would tomorrow bring? What will happen once she becomes whole again?
"Logan..." Yuriko whispered. Her eyes were now wandering at the ceiling. It was time for her to stop looking at the stars and go back to reality...back to those four walls.
Logan felt his heart jump as he heard her speak his name. It had been a while since she had spoken...and when she did, it was his name that she had spoken first.
"What?" He asked.
"If you were given a choice...at this very moment, to regain all of your memories...all of it in the blink of an eye...everything...right down to the last detail...would you? Would you, Logan?" She asked. Her voice was soft and careful. She knew that Logan didn't feel so lightly about his past. She knew that for him, his past was a nightmare that he would rather forget altogether.
"No." He said firmly.
He said it without hesitation or doubt. Though there was once a time when he would do anything to regain his lost memories. There was once a time when he was just like Yuriko...an amnesiac who would sacrifice everything and do anything to remember who he used to be. But after meeting Stryker, after knowing what he used to be, the animal that he used to be, he wanted to let go of the past. He wanted his past to sink like a stone in the sea and land in its depths, never to be unearthed again.
"Why?" She asked again.
"I already told you." He said softly, yet firmly. "There is no use in remembering the past if you cannot change it. There is no use in seeing your past sins if you cannot do anything to stop yourself from committing them. We cannot change the past, Yuriko...and we cannot bring it back either. You know it. And I know it. To remember our pains and sufferings will only hurt us. It will only---"
"Then what of the joys and the laughter in our past?" She asked, cutting him off in mid-sentence. "What will become of them if we decide to forget them? What will happen to all those memories that we wish we hadn't forgotten?"
"I don't have memories I wish I hadn't forgotten. The only memories I have are those of pain and suffering." He said coldly. "But you..." Then his voice suddenly became softer. "...You remember bits and pieces of your past as if they were beautiful dreams that you don't want to wake up from. That's why you have a reason to go back there and rediscover them. Because you know you have those events in your life that you want to remember forever...those memories that you don't want to forget."
"You're right." She said as she continued to look at the ceiling. Then she felt a tear roll down from the corner of her eye to her temple. "Thank you for washing away my doubts." It was Logan who first doubted her decision, but now it was him who had truly made her realize why she had chosen to remember her past. Yes...she would remember all the pains and the sufferings that came along with it...But she would also remember the laughter, the smiles, those perfect moments...and they were all worth it.