Title: Erase/Rewind
Author: Jen Kollic
Disclaimers: All characters are trademarks of DC Comics. I make no money
from this. Wah.
Feedback: Absolutely, but if you're just going to go "OMFG! HARLEY/JOKER
OTP!11one1" then don't bother. I'll just make fun of you.
Notes: Not entirely compatible.
Chapter 4
They normally worked in silence, but now it was subtly different. Colder. As if there were miles between them instead of a few feet. As if there was a wall there. They were each focused on their own research with forced, artificial concentration. As if each was too absorbed to notice the other. Each of them knew this was a mere pretence to avoid talking, but neither wanted to lose face by pointing this out. Instead they worked on opposite sides of the lab, their backs to each other, never touching. As they were when in bed together now.
Ivy was adamant that it was Batman's fault, again. If he hadn't shown up, Alec would never have started asking questions again. (it had been bad enough after the clone showed up) More specifically, asking questions she didn't want to answer. About what she'd done back in Gotham. About why Batman had gone to the trouble of tracking her down. About the clone. About Harley. (why did he keep asking about Harley? Batman hadn't even said anything about her!) Ivy hated those questions; (especially the ones about Harley) because each (ambiguous) answer she gave him only made him ask more.
She'd told him that everything she'd done had been for ecology. (she'd known from the start that telling him about the heists would have been a bad idea) He wanted to know what kind of things she'd done, if she'd harmed anyone.
She'd told him that her actions had been justified, and it was nothing worse than what Greenpeace would have done. (if Greenpeace activists possessed her powers that was) He didn't believe her.
She'd eventually caved in and explained (nearly) everything. (missing out the people she'd killed and what she'd done with Steven Carlyle, because it hurt enough talking about that to Harley, she didn't even want to start it with Alec) He'd been horrified. She'd gotten defensive, and told him that if she'd really been a criminal, she'd have been sent to Blackgate, not Arkham. That had just made things worse.
She never told him anything about Harley, except that they'd been friends. That was all he needed to know. He suspected of course, but he couldn't prove anything. Ivy hadn't stopped kicking herself for telling him that the clone had been there to keep Harley company. (the same way she hadn't stopped wishing that she could extract memories from what was left of the clone, because she really wanted to know…) She didn't want to talk about Harley anyway. Especially because she knew that if he started asking about their relationship, she'd wind up telling him that Harley was the reason she'd wound up living here with him anyway.
No. That wasn't true. (much) Harley's continual habit of running back to the fucking clown wasn't why she'd been so eager to be with Alec. She loved him. Really. She could make it work, it just hadn't been working lately. Which was Batman's fault. Of course. Not hers. Alec should just accept that she didn't want to talk about her former life and move on. He had no damn right to get all hung up over the fact she wasn't going to tell him everything.
In fact, Ivy was actually quite glad they weren't speaking right now. It made things so much easier. It would just take some time for him to get used to the fact she wasn't going to tell him anything more, that was all.
Alec knew it wasn't working. He hated it, but he still knew. They'd barely spoken in days, not since Pamela had snapped that if she wanted to put her past behind her, he would just have to accept it. He'd never known she'd actually been in Arkham. The thought was more than a little disconcerting. He still loved her of course, but he knew she didn't trust him. And it hurt.
He knew there were things she wasn't telling him. She always got evasive when he asked about the reasons she was sent to Arkham. And he got no answers at all when he asked about her relationship with Harley Quinn. Pamela had said that one of the reasons for making the clone had been to keep Harley company, which surely implied that there was more there than she was telling him. (not hard really, since all she'd tell him was that they were friends) He hated to admit it to himself, but he was suspicious.
It didn't matter. That was what Alec kept telling himself. No matter what she'd done, things were different. Pamela was here with him now, and he had no doubts that if she wasn't happy here, she'd leave. None at all. It would just take some time for things to get back to normal, Batman showing up must have been a shock for her, (like the clone showing up hadn't been a shock for him!) she was probably just wound up because of how close she'd been to getting dragged back to Arkham. (what had she done for that to be a risk?) And was most likely worried that Batman might come back. It just needed time for Pamela to calm down that was all.
As he glanced down at the letter on his desk, he realised that time (apart) alone might help too. He hadn't mentioned it to her yet, (he'd been hoping she would start a conversation first) but it looked like he'd just have to tell her. Maybe she'd be glad.
…why on earth would she be glad?
"Pamela?"
The response was a stony silence. She was pretending she hadn't heard him. He continued anyway.
"…I got a letter from Washington State University this morning…"
She raised her head and turned to look at him for the first time that day, relieved that it wasn't another question. She even went so far as to reply.
"What about?" It was the first time in almost a week that she'd spoken to him without frost in her voice. But she'd fix that if this was just a prelude to more attempts to probe her past.
"They've invited me to attend a botany seminar at the weekend, about the ecological impact of global warming." Alec knew that this subject would annoy her at least as much as his questions did. But at least her anger wouldn't be aimed at him.
"Global warming was already a problem over ten years ago now. Action should have been taken then, before it got worse. They've left it a bit late to discuss it, haven't they?" Ivy growled, her eyes narrowed. "Like the ozone layer. Surely it's easier to PREVENT the holes rather than fix them."
"I know Pamela." At least this was a subject where Alec could sympathise with her. "I was there when they discussed it at the summit in Rio de Janeiro, but..."
"It never made one damn bit of difference, did it?" Ivy finished for him. In retrospect, she was glad she'd never been there now. Things would have gotten messy. And it would have made the current ecological situation even more depressing. "But you'll be going anyway of course." she added, trying to stop herself hoping that the answer would be yes.
"It would be rude to refuse." Alec replied. "You never know, it might do some good in the long run." He smiled inwardly as she rolled her eyes. "You could come too if you'd like…"
"No." Ivy was quick to refuse, trying to deny the relief she'd felt at the thought of having some time alone. "I hate those seminars. We need action, not discussion." She hesitated, then continued. "And besides, it's not a good idea for me to be seen with you right now… if I know Batman, he'll still be watching you."
"Which makes me feel very comfortable, I must admit." Alec muttered. "I just love being treated like a criminal."
Ivy's expression hardened as she turned her back to him once more, returning to her work. They didn't speak for the rest of the day.