Friendship is Meaningless?!
OK, I'm all set for the next chapter. I keep changing my mind about what's going to happen, but I think I've got it down now. This chapter isn't going to be that interesting (i.e., weird, violent, or dramatic) cuz it's sort of an in-between thingey. You know what I mean? Good!
Tekkan glared at Quatre for a second, too furious to speak.
'You're the Winner brat,' he finally said through clenched teeth. 'I knew the second I saw you that you weren't a reporter. I recognized you, even though I didn't know who you were.'
Quatre's usually kind voice was cold as steel. 'Well, if you value your life, you're not going to let information like that get around, understood?'
He swished the knife in his hand menacingly.
'Ha! Attack an unarmed guy with a knife!' Tekkan spat. 'You and your big honour talk don't go together.'
That stung Quatre's icy voice into life. 'I taught you your lesson, Tekkan!' he cried out. 'And you didn't learn. First, you used a small child and now you used Relena Peacecraft, the symbol of peace herself!'
'And just so you know,' he went on after a small pause in which nothing was heard but Relena's quiet sobs and Tekkan's ragged breathing. 'I wouldn't need a knife to assault you. I may not be half as effective as Heero when he fights but I am a Gundam pilot.'
Suddenly, his situation came absolutely clear to Tekkan. He was caught in his own cave, the one he had tried to catch Heero in- and now he was the loser, once again. There was nowhere left to run. Quatre barred the way out onto the grounds, and between him and the rope hanging down from the trap door were Heero and Relena.
But there was still one way left.
Tekkan's eyes gleamed insanely as he yelled: 'You haven't won, Winner!' and before anyone in the cave could do anything, he had hurled a small object at Quatre- which the pilot ducked, of course.
But the damage was done.
When the object hit the floor, an explosion took place which hurled everybody off their feet and on to the hard stone floor. Everybody, except for Tekkan, who was prepared.
Heero, his soldier training forcing him, despite his injuries, to leap up again almost the second he hit the floor, could glimpse Tekkan's shadow through the thick dust clouds that were enveloping everything. But the shadow was fading- getting smaller-
Heero blinked hard against tiny particles blocking his vision.
Tekkan had disappeared.
**********************************
Being the first to grasp their situation, Heero quietly took control.
'Quatre?' he called out into the swirling dust. Almost at the same time, he gave himself an inward push and approached the vague outline he knew to be Relena.
The first thing he could see of her was her eyes- big, beautiful and glassy with the tears the dust had provoked. Or was it just the dust?
Heero told himself dully that he didn't care and simply reached out a hand to help her up. She took it gratefully, but let go as soon as she had steadied herself.
Fortunately for Heero, who was fighting hard against the desire to touch Relena's soft, slim hands again, he was distracted by Quatre's shape emerging from a particularly thick dust cloud.
'Are you hurt, Miss Relena? Or you, Heero?' he asked anxiously when he had recognized them.
Relena coughed but assured him she was fine. Heero's eyes simply met Quatre's and the latter nodded, relieved.
'But we'd better get out of here,' Heero said, glancing around. 'Not that I honestly expect that coward to be back soon, but somebody might notice the open trap door in the broom closet.'
The other Gundam pilot agreed. 'Heero, how about you take Miss Relena out the easy way,' he gestured behind him through the clearing dust at the tunnel that led out onto the grounds. 'I'll go up on the rope you've left hanging there, and we'll meet up at the school entrance. After all,' he added, seeing Heero's raised eyebrow, 'you're hurt.'
Heero just shrugged. With Relena following close behind, he made his way out into the clearer tunnel.
After a moment and when she was certain of being out of Quatre's ear- shot, Relena broke the stony silence in a calm but reproachful voice.
'Why did you do that? Why did you let him torture you like that? I told you, I'm not worth it.'
She was expecting an answer, and he knew it. But he could not face her. He couldn't even speak to her. Even though he hadn't known it then, he had had something before. Something she might admire, in however subtle way. Before, he might have been able to answer her; to turn around and look into her eyes.
But now it was impossible. He had just lost what little he possessed. Namely, his pride. Tekkan had insulted him, beaten him, thrown him to the ground and kicked him as if he were nothing but a half-grown puppy much too weak to defend itself.
Now Relena had seen him beat; her undefeated rescuer had been beat. He wasn't even the perfect soldier any longer. And though he had often cursed being called that, he now almost wished for it. It would have allowed him to at least protect Relena, if not have anything else to do with her. But he had lost all that now. There was no excuse for Relena to tolerate him anymore.
So, in answer to her question, all he said was: 'You're Relena Peacecraft.'
She had caught up with him while he was thinking and shook her head vigorously at these last words.
'Heero, my name shouldn't entitle me to be spared at all costs and let you have your pride torn from you. Believe me, YOU are needed much more in this world than I am.'
His face remained stony, impassive, and unreachable. 'Not now,' he told her curtly. 'Guess I'm not the 'perfect soldier' anymore.'
Relena's eyes flashed with indignation. Suddenly, she swerved so she was standing right in front of him. He nearly knocked into her, but was able to stop just in time.
He tried to keep his eyes cast down, not ready for a confrontation of this kind, but Relena wouldn't let him. She grasped his face between her hands and held his gaze with hers.
Heero's heart beat somewhere inside him. Everything, including his instincts, was warning him of danger: the danger if he stayed and faced her, the danger of letting emotions show, the danger of telling her something he would later regret.
But he stayed. He couldn't explain it even to himself, but he didn't turn and walk away. I can't keep running away from Relena forever, he thought, bracing himself for whatever she was going to tell him. Or ask him. He feared the second possibility more than the first. He would have to answer her.
'Heero, listen to me', begged Relena. 'You are much more than just a soldier. You try to hide it, but you have a soul, you have feelings.' her voice broke and she couldn't speak for a second, still gazing up at him imploringly. She swallowed hard and then continued.
'You could have friends. Like the Gundam pilots, for example. But you don't let them be your friends. They try to, but they can't. Don't you see? Let them be your friends, Heero.' Her voice was no more than a whisper now.
'Let ME be your friend.'
**************************************
After an eternity had passed and Heero had not spoken, just stared at her with this curiously heart-broken expression, Relena couldn't stand it any longer. She turned away abruptly.
She had let him see into a corner of her heart where secrets lay that even she was not aware of. She had just admitted to him and to herself that she cared for him; more than she cared for anybody else. And he wouldn't say the words she was longing to hear. He wouldn't say anything.
But just before she was out of his reach, Heero reached out and held her hand in his. She turned around expectantly, allowing the tender feeling of hope rise inside her.
He looked at her levelly, then said in a low voice: 'Relena, friendship has no meaning for me.'
For a moment she was torn between the delightful excitement he stirred up in her by clasping her hand and the sting of pain she felt at his words.
What was he telling her? That the kiss- Relena ached with desire remembering it- had had no meaning for him either? That every word of comfort he had ever whispered to her was meaningless? Was he indirectly telling her exactly what he felt for her, or was it just an answer he felt was expected from the 'perfect soldier'?
At last, she yanked her hand out of his and confronted him with blazing eyes.
'Then what does?' she shot at him, and whirled around to finally leave him, alone in the tunnel.
************************************
Heero stared at the retreating figure of Relena in shocked silence.
How could kind, calm Relena suddenly turn on him like that? She had offered friendship- Heero tasted the word bitterly on his tongue- but there couldn't be a thing such as friendship in his life. He stayed on good terms with the other pilots, but they were not his friends in the sense Relena meant.
'Then what does?'
His thoughts lingered on Relena's last, provoking words. What had meaning for him?
He brushed the question aside, certain that he knew the answer already: his missions- what else?
Finally, he groaned in misery and walked the length of the tunnel slowly. Suddenly, it caved steeply upwards, but it wasn't impossible for a normal person to climb. It took Heero five seconds.
Then, he was pulling himself out of the tunnel into the sunlight, blinking against the glare of the sun.
As soon as his eyes had adjusted to the brightness, he turned around and looked at the three figures, bewildered now.
Quatre was already out on the grounds, indicating that he and Relena had spent much more time underground than he had thought, but he wasn't the only surprise.
Relena, who he had last seen angry, was shining with happiness as she hugged another girl enthusiastically.
Heero studied the girl, not sure what to think of her arrival. Short brown curls, laughing blue eyes, tall and slim. Reminded him of-
He raised his eyebrows. 'Catherine,' he said tonelessly.
Catherine laughed and winked at him. 'Are you glad to see me?' she asked mischievously.
Heero's lips shrugged into something that could have been a smile.
'You're a genius, Catherine, how did you make him smile?' Quatre asked, laughing himself.
She made a vague gesture with her hands and grinned at Heero. 'You're just like Trowa,' she told him. 'So I get lots of practice.'
At this, Quatre looked up, clearly interested. 'So how is Trowa?'
Catherine's grin faded from her face and she looked confused. 'I should be the one asking that.' She looked at each of their faces intently. 'He is here, isn't he?'
'Your brother?' Quatre shook his head. 'I have no idea where Trowa is, but as far as I know, he isn't here.'
'But. but where else could he be?' Catherine looked around helplessly. 'I thought he'd be with the rest of the Gundam pilots. In other words, with you.'
'We tried to contact him about the new danger, but we found absolutely no trace of him.' Quatre informed her.
For a moment, Catherine's spirit seemed to be broken: tears leaked out of her frightened eyes as she bit her lip and lowered her head.
Relena put an arm around her again and spoke gently. 'Catherine, your brother likes to be solitary. He knows how to cover up his tracks. And just because he hasn't contacted you or the other pilots, doesn't mean that he's in danger. He just wants to be alone for a while.' She subconsciously touched her neck, where Tekkan had held his knife, and added: 'Believe me, he'll be a lot safer anywhere else than here.'
Catherine nodded, taking all the comforting words in, and straightened up with new confidence. She flashed another smile around the circle of people. 'So, what have you been up to here? Tell me your adventures.'
Quatre laughed. 'Adventures? Maybe Heero's been having adventures, but not me.'
Relena suddenly let go of her friend and turned to him. 'What are you talking about? You just saved me and Heero from Tekkan! I would call that an adventure. And I'm very grateful to you,' she said fervently.
Heero, who had been disinterestedly following the conversation, felt something in him twinge in pain. Her words were meant for him to hear. He had always been her rescuer, but now she had another; one, that would not bring such misery to her. Someone who could be her friend.
In disappointment and his own anger at it, he lowered his head. He had met Relena's gaze, he had stood up to her, he had done his duty. And he now knew he had lost her forever. She wouldn't speak to him again after this about anything that wasn't entirely business. Good, he thought grimly. She has always been a danger to my mission.
But however hard he tried, he could not conjure the satisfaction he wanted to feel. He felt only intolerable pain.
While he was gazing at the ground, he suddenly noticed an outline; places where the grass had been pressed down.
'Quatre,' he said in a low, urgent voice.
'What is it?' Quatre looked up inquisitively.
'Look here,' answered Heero, pointing at the ground. 'Someone was lying here.'
Quatre studied the imprints for a second, then turned ashen. 'Oh, no!' he groaned. 'This is where SHE was!'
'And who is she?' Heero asked.
The other Gundam pilot explained to him how he had found out about the secret tunnel.
'And when I left, the girl with the hazel curls was still lying there, stunned,' he finished. 'And now. she's gone. Maybe to help Tekkan or something.'
Heero sighed. 'I think I know the girl,' he said slowly. 'She was the one that gave me the instructions to come here in the first place.'
Suddenly they were interrupted by Catherine, who had been watching them with a fascinated expression on her face all along.
'Hold it!' she demanded. 'How about you explain to Relena and me what this is all about? We don't understand anything -at least, I don't- and we can't help unless we do, right?'
The boys exchanged significant glances. Quatre decided to speak for both of them:
'Look, we know you want to help, but we are not to give away information like that, under pain of death. So, we can't tell you the main object of our mission. What we can do,' he added, seeing the disappointed look on Catherine's face, 'is tell you what characters are involved, and who you have to fear. But don't forget, this is dangerous. I know you've been in danger before, but why risk your life again? It's easy to get killed at this school, as you, Miss Relena, found out soon. And you must understand that, with Trowa gone, we feel responsible for you, Catherine. Alright?'
Catherine grinned. 'So tell us,' she said simply.
The Gundam pilots related the facts they were allowed to: that there was something valuable and extremely dangerous hidden in the school, that Wufei met Heero at night to investigate on it, that Quatre and Duo were playing reporters and snooping about the high school, that Heero was supposed to act like a normal kid, that Tekkan was under suspicion of having something to do with the hidden object, had a grudge against Heero and Relena, and knew Quatre's real identification.
To finish, they gave a brief account of their latest 'adventure' in the tunnel.
Catherine's eyes widened. 'So Tekkan's still around here somewhere?'
Heero shrugged. 'Probably not. Too scared.'
'Well,' Quatre continued in a more cheerful tone, 'how about we all go home now and get some rest. I think we're all tired out. Do you have a place to stay, Catherine?'
At this, Catherine suddenly giggled. Everybody else looked at her confusedly, so she tried to appear earnest and assured Quatre she had a room in a hotel.
***************************************
As the Gundam pilots were leaving, Relena turned on Catherine. 'Alright, I know you're hiding a secret,' she told her severely, 'but I'm not sure I even want to know what you're up to. How about you come home to my place right now?'
Catherine was delighted. 'Sure, I'd love to. I just have to phone Hilde, she's expecting me this-' she stopped short.
Relena laughed out loud; something she hadn't done since Tekkan had sent her the mysterious note she had believed to be Heero's.
'So Hilde's here, huh? What is she going to do?' she asked curiously.
Catherine shrugged. 'Oh, she isn't sure how she's going to explain to the guys that she is totally accidentally taking a holiday here. But you know Hilde: she'll think of something.'
*********************************
At that very moment, Hilde was standing outside her room, saying good- bye to Duo.
'So we're agreed on our plan, then?' Duo asked, his eyes dancing.
Hilde grinned. 'Absolutely,' she confirmed. You take him, and I'll take her. It will be so much fun!'
With that, she closed her door, and Duo left the hotel, whistling in anticipation.
******************************
At home, Relena sat down heavily on her bed. Catherine looked at her sympathetically and seated herself on the soft carpet.
'What's the trouble, Relena?' she asked openly.
Relena looked up in a forlorn way. 'It's nothing- nothing that could compare with some of the big dangers that seem to be lurking about the school. I'm concerned for all those students- what if it's a bomb?'
Catherine shrugged. 'There's not much we can do about that, except hope for the best and trust in the Gundam pilots. And stop worrying.' She raised a stern eyebrow at Relena, who looked suddenly more desolate than before.
She smiled knowingly. 'But maybe it would be best not to talk about the Gundam pilots? Especially one in particular?'
Relena's head shot up in defiance. 'What do you mean?' she asked suspiciously.
Catherine laughed. 'I have life experience, Relena, more than you do. You don't want to talk about Heero because you think your feelings aren't worthy of being mentioned beside the big, frightening things that are happening. But tell me about it, OK? You are important, even if you don't think so.'
Relena's face expression turned bitter. 'Yes,' she said in a low, biting voice. 'I'm important. Because my last name is Peacecraft. That's all that matters to him!'
Her friend shook her head. 'Are you sure?' she asked softly. Then, in a brisker voice: 'This is Heero we're talking about, right? Just for the record.'
Relena smiled thinly. 'Who else? Quatre and Duo appreciate me like a friend, but Heero.' she stopped.
'. appreciates you as something more,' Catherine finished, her grin spreading all over her face.
'No!' was Relena's firm answer. 'He accepts and protects me as the symbol of peace, and that's all! He told me himself!'
At this, Catherine laughed. 'My God, Relena, if you trust everything he says, you'll soon be convinced that he doesn't care for anything!' As Relena had fallen silent, she went on: 'I told you I had lots of practice in handling these kinds of people; Trowa is very similar.'
'In what sense?'
'Well, even though Trowa says less than Heero, and isn't so devoted to his missions, it's more or less the same case. You can't trust what they say.' She fixed her gaze on Relena very decidedly. 'They say whatever's been hammered into their heads, and if they don't have an answer, they'll be coarse with you just to get rid of you. That doesn't mean they're not perfectly nice people, and Heero's special. He's got a lot of advantages and disadvantages, but don't just be blinded by what appears to be his cruelty and unfeeling. I'm positive he feels a lot, especially for you, Relena.'
Relena stared at her in amazement. 'But what am I to go by, if not by what he says? He always hides his feelings, so I can't look at his face, and all his actions are so reserved that I can't make anything of them.'
'Go by feeling,' Catherine suggested. 'Try to experience what he's feeling and you'll know.'
Then lowering her voice, she winked at Relena. 'Or try catching him by surprise, so that he doesn't have time to cover up those precious emotions of his.'
Relena laughed. 'You're evil!' she exclaimed happily, jumping off her bed to hug her friend. 'But I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for all that.'
*****************************
That night, Heero slipped into the high school again. He made his way through the dark hallways to the office, where a figure was already unlocking the door. The figure looked up sharply and asked in a familiar voice: 'Heero?'
'Hi, Wufei.' Heero pushed past him into the office.
Wufei entered too, and threw off the long coat he was wearing.
'OK,' he said, sitting down on one of the chairs. 'What news?'
Heero started by explaining what had happened in school that day. 'And I contacted Doctor J. He sent me an update on the mission.' He finished his narrative.
'So?' Wufei was impatient.
Heero looked at him, unimpressed. 'He's getting a weapon ready.'
'A weapon?' Wufei frowned in disbelief. Suddenly his expression cleared. 'Oh! You mean-'
When Heero nodded, he smiled grimly. 'At last there's something going on!'
'He also informs us to go on investigating the whereabouts of the 'gundanium alloy' and track every suspicious character,' Heero continued.
'So let's get moving!' Wufei jumped to his feet.
Heero agreed by nodding his head, and soon both pilots had checked their guns and snuck off into the dark passages of the school.
They stuck to the lowest levels and inspected every classroom and storage room on the way.
After about an hours' painstakingly careful work, they reached the gym.
Wufei stared along its enormous length with dislike. 'This is hopeless!' he stormed. 'They would never put the secret entrance to their gundanium in an open place like this!'
Heero was not having that. 'Inspect all the ridges and holes they use to build up the equipment,' he commanded. 'Something could easily be hidden below those.'
Wufei's black eyes flashed. 'And who gave you the authority to give orders like that?'
To the other pilot's complete surprise, Heero smiled. 'You could fight me for it,' he suggested slyly.
Wufei grinned in appreciation. 'Get ready !' he told him and crouched on the floor in fighter's stance.
Heero laughed but tensed his muscles; and before Wufei had a chance to do or say anything, he leaped onto him, bringing him flat onto the ground.
'You cheated!' protested Wufei, trying to keep from laughing in his uncomfortable position. In just another fraction of a second, he had sprang from the ground, tossing Heero aside.
He was on his feet fast enough to duck Wufei's next attack, and jump on him in turn.
Soon they were engaged in a kind of wild-kitten-fight, each of them exclaiming insults or accusations at the other. Finally, they both sat on the floor, gasping for breath from the exertion and the laughing.
Heero, who had had the last upper hand, punched the exhausted Wufei playfully. 'I won,' he informed him.
'Never mind!' Wufei tried to look indignant, but failed when a wide grin spread over his face. 'You cheated!'
Heero laughed, shaking his head. He wasn't entirely sure what their fight had been all about, but it had felt good. Both of them had been tense and miserable; it had been such a relief to have a fight, if only to reduce their aggression and tension.
He had laughed more tonight than at any other time he could remember. He was grateful to Wufei for showing him -in quite a roundabout way- that he could have fun.
Heero was amazed. It seemed incredible to him that after all these years of nothing but missions, fighting, and killing, he could actually break through that hard shell and have fun.
Maybe Relena is right, he thought wistfully. Maybe friendship is of valuable importance. But another part of him reminded him cruelly that nothing could be more important than his missions.
His thoughts were interrupted by Wufei, who had suddenly sat up. 'Heero?'
'What is it?'
Wufei did not speak for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. Finally he glanced up at Heero.
'Who is going to be in control of the weapon?'
'I don't know. Doctor J didn't say anything about it.'
Wufei got up off the floor and looked at Heero squarely. 'I think you should,' he said openly. 'You're the best of us all.'
Heero raised an eyebrow. Wufei had actually overcome his fierce pride and told him he was superior. But in the next instant he realized with a sharp wince that the words were not true.
'You know I'm not.' His voice was void of any emotion. 'I would have been killed today if it hadn't been for Quatre. And Relena-'
He was about to curse himself for mentioning her name and drop the subject as quickly as he had begun it, but his desire to be frank with Wufei, who had cheered him up considerably, won.
'Relena, who's always been under my protection -sort of automatically- she would have been killed too if it weren't for Quatre. Or Tekkan would have done something worse than death,' he added bitterly.
To his surprise, Wufei was glaring at him. 'God, Yuy, you must be the stupidest guy ever to walk the planet! Let's get a few things straight here: First of all, it takes no great fighter to do what Quatre did. You could have done the same if you'd been in his situation. Secondly, have you ever considered why Relena has always 'automatically' been under your protection? Obviously not. It's cause she wants to, Heero. She would rather be protected by you than anybody else.'
Here he stopped to examine Heero's doubtful face, and continued in a slightly nicer voice: 'Heero, no matter what you do, that girl is always going to be eternally thankful to you and care for you.'
Heero's mind reeled. He could detect truth in the other pilot's words, but what Relena had said to him today overrode it completely. Maybe it had been true before, but it certainly wasn't now. He almost felt like crying, recalling everything he had lost.
Instead, he turned back to Wufei on an entirely different subject. 'I've been thinking. What we've been looking for is a secret entrance, most likely a trap door, right? Well, there's one right in there,' and he gestured towards the hated broom closet.
********************************
Well, like I said, in-between-thingy. Man, I don't seem to be able to write anything these days. It all comes out sounding so dull. *sigh* Hey, I know this last part was extremely weird. But my editor *points quickly at cutycatz* thought it was OK for me to put it out. So. no flames for me, for her! *j/k*
The reviewers I want to thank for their wonderful support, etc, etc, etc.:
Callisto Nicol- yeah, poor Heero! As you can see, Hilde is here!
Fallen phenoix- thanx for reviewing and ur email!
Queen Isa- uh, no, she's not Mariemea. cool idea though!
Alika- well. he knows a little, but not enough to make any real damage in that aspect.
Meio-chan- couldn't agree with you more!
Hot Balla- crazy stories are my specialty *g*
Aqua-mere- after this chapter, you won't like my writing anymore! K.K.- sorry, your name sort of got deleted! Romance? .
Amethyst-Angel462- very original review!
Laura- oops. this one took MONTHS! I'm really sorry.
Thanks to the afore-mentioned editor as well, etc, etc, etc. (u may guess I'm in a very weird mood at the moment)
C U in the next chapter,
Shooting Jewel
OK, I'm all set for the next chapter. I keep changing my mind about what's going to happen, but I think I've got it down now. This chapter isn't going to be that interesting (i.e., weird, violent, or dramatic) cuz it's sort of an in-between thingey. You know what I mean? Good!
Tekkan glared at Quatre for a second, too furious to speak.
'You're the Winner brat,' he finally said through clenched teeth. 'I knew the second I saw you that you weren't a reporter. I recognized you, even though I didn't know who you were.'
Quatre's usually kind voice was cold as steel. 'Well, if you value your life, you're not going to let information like that get around, understood?'
He swished the knife in his hand menacingly.
'Ha! Attack an unarmed guy with a knife!' Tekkan spat. 'You and your big honour talk don't go together.'
That stung Quatre's icy voice into life. 'I taught you your lesson, Tekkan!' he cried out. 'And you didn't learn. First, you used a small child and now you used Relena Peacecraft, the symbol of peace herself!'
'And just so you know,' he went on after a small pause in which nothing was heard but Relena's quiet sobs and Tekkan's ragged breathing. 'I wouldn't need a knife to assault you. I may not be half as effective as Heero when he fights but I am a Gundam pilot.'
Suddenly, his situation came absolutely clear to Tekkan. He was caught in his own cave, the one he had tried to catch Heero in- and now he was the loser, once again. There was nowhere left to run. Quatre barred the way out onto the grounds, and between him and the rope hanging down from the trap door were Heero and Relena.
But there was still one way left.
Tekkan's eyes gleamed insanely as he yelled: 'You haven't won, Winner!' and before anyone in the cave could do anything, he had hurled a small object at Quatre- which the pilot ducked, of course.
But the damage was done.
When the object hit the floor, an explosion took place which hurled everybody off their feet and on to the hard stone floor. Everybody, except for Tekkan, who was prepared.
Heero, his soldier training forcing him, despite his injuries, to leap up again almost the second he hit the floor, could glimpse Tekkan's shadow through the thick dust clouds that were enveloping everything. But the shadow was fading- getting smaller-
Heero blinked hard against tiny particles blocking his vision.
Tekkan had disappeared.
**********************************
Being the first to grasp their situation, Heero quietly took control.
'Quatre?' he called out into the swirling dust. Almost at the same time, he gave himself an inward push and approached the vague outline he knew to be Relena.
The first thing he could see of her was her eyes- big, beautiful and glassy with the tears the dust had provoked. Or was it just the dust?
Heero told himself dully that he didn't care and simply reached out a hand to help her up. She took it gratefully, but let go as soon as she had steadied herself.
Fortunately for Heero, who was fighting hard against the desire to touch Relena's soft, slim hands again, he was distracted by Quatre's shape emerging from a particularly thick dust cloud.
'Are you hurt, Miss Relena? Or you, Heero?' he asked anxiously when he had recognized them.
Relena coughed but assured him she was fine. Heero's eyes simply met Quatre's and the latter nodded, relieved.
'But we'd better get out of here,' Heero said, glancing around. 'Not that I honestly expect that coward to be back soon, but somebody might notice the open trap door in the broom closet.'
The other Gundam pilot agreed. 'Heero, how about you take Miss Relena out the easy way,' he gestured behind him through the clearing dust at the tunnel that led out onto the grounds. 'I'll go up on the rope you've left hanging there, and we'll meet up at the school entrance. After all,' he added, seeing Heero's raised eyebrow, 'you're hurt.'
Heero just shrugged. With Relena following close behind, he made his way out into the clearer tunnel.
After a moment and when she was certain of being out of Quatre's ear- shot, Relena broke the stony silence in a calm but reproachful voice.
'Why did you do that? Why did you let him torture you like that? I told you, I'm not worth it.'
She was expecting an answer, and he knew it. But he could not face her. He couldn't even speak to her. Even though he hadn't known it then, he had had something before. Something she might admire, in however subtle way. Before, he might have been able to answer her; to turn around and look into her eyes.
But now it was impossible. He had just lost what little he possessed. Namely, his pride. Tekkan had insulted him, beaten him, thrown him to the ground and kicked him as if he were nothing but a half-grown puppy much too weak to defend itself.
Now Relena had seen him beat; her undefeated rescuer had been beat. He wasn't even the perfect soldier any longer. And though he had often cursed being called that, he now almost wished for it. It would have allowed him to at least protect Relena, if not have anything else to do with her. But he had lost all that now. There was no excuse for Relena to tolerate him anymore.
So, in answer to her question, all he said was: 'You're Relena Peacecraft.'
She had caught up with him while he was thinking and shook her head vigorously at these last words.
'Heero, my name shouldn't entitle me to be spared at all costs and let you have your pride torn from you. Believe me, YOU are needed much more in this world than I am.'
His face remained stony, impassive, and unreachable. 'Not now,' he told her curtly. 'Guess I'm not the 'perfect soldier' anymore.'
Relena's eyes flashed with indignation. Suddenly, she swerved so she was standing right in front of him. He nearly knocked into her, but was able to stop just in time.
He tried to keep his eyes cast down, not ready for a confrontation of this kind, but Relena wouldn't let him. She grasped his face between her hands and held his gaze with hers.
Heero's heart beat somewhere inside him. Everything, including his instincts, was warning him of danger: the danger if he stayed and faced her, the danger of letting emotions show, the danger of telling her something he would later regret.
But he stayed. He couldn't explain it even to himself, but he didn't turn and walk away. I can't keep running away from Relena forever, he thought, bracing himself for whatever she was going to tell him. Or ask him. He feared the second possibility more than the first. He would have to answer her.
'Heero, listen to me', begged Relena. 'You are much more than just a soldier. You try to hide it, but you have a soul, you have feelings.' her voice broke and she couldn't speak for a second, still gazing up at him imploringly. She swallowed hard and then continued.
'You could have friends. Like the Gundam pilots, for example. But you don't let them be your friends. They try to, but they can't. Don't you see? Let them be your friends, Heero.' Her voice was no more than a whisper now.
'Let ME be your friend.'
**************************************
After an eternity had passed and Heero had not spoken, just stared at her with this curiously heart-broken expression, Relena couldn't stand it any longer. She turned away abruptly.
She had let him see into a corner of her heart where secrets lay that even she was not aware of. She had just admitted to him and to herself that she cared for him; more than she cared for anybody else. And he wouldn't say the words she was longing to hear. He wouldn't say anything.
But just before she was out of his reach, Heero reached out and held her hand in his. She turned around expectantly, allowing the tender feeling of hope rise inside her.
He looked at her levelly, then said in a low voice: 'Relena, friendship has no meaning for me.'
For a moment she was torn between the delightful excitement he stirred up in her by clasping her hand and the sting of pain she felt at his words.
What was he telling her? That the kiss- Relena ached with desire remembering it- had had no meaning for him either? That every word of comfort he had ever whispered to her was meaningless? Was he indirectly telling her exactly what he felt for her, or was it just an answer he felt was expected from the 'perfect soldier'?
At last, she yanked her hand out of his and confronted him with blazing eyes.
'Then what does?' she shot at him, and whirled around to finally leave him, alone in the tunnel.
************************************
Heero stared at the retreating figure of Relena in shocked silence.
How could kind, calm Relena suddenly turn on him like that? She had offered friendship- Heero tasted the word bitterly on his tongue- but there couldn't be a thing such as friendship in his life. He stayed on good terms with the other pilots, but they were not his friends in the sense Relena meant.
'Then what does?'
His thoughts lingered on Relena's last, provoking words. What had meaning for him?
He brushed the question aside, certain that he knew the answer already: his missions- what else?
Finally, he groaned in misery and walked the length of the tunnel slowly. Suddenly, it caved steeply upwards, but it wasn't impossible for a normal person to climb. It took Heero five seconds.
Then, he was pulling himself out of the tunnel into the sunlight, blinking against the glare of the sun.
As soon as his eyes had adjusted to the brightness, he turned around and looked at the three figures, bewildered now.
Quatre was already out on the grounds, indicating that he and Relena had spent much more time underground than he had thought, but he wasn't the only surprise.
Relena, who he had last seen angry, was shining with happiness as she hugged another girl enthusiastically.
Heero studied the girl, not sure what to think of her arrival. Short brown curls, laughing blue eyes, tall and slim. Reminded him of-
He raised his eyebrows. 'Catherine,' he said tonelessly.
Catherine laughed and winked at him. 'Are you glad to see me?' she asked mischievously.
Heero's lips shrugged into something that could have been a smile.
'You're a genius, Catherine, how did you make him smile?' Quatre asked, laughing himself.
She made a vague gesture with her hands and grinned at Heero. 'You're just like Trowa,' she told him. 'So I get lots of practice.'
At this, Quatre looked up, clearly interested. 'So how is Trowa?'
Catherine's grin faded from her face and she looked confused. 'I should be the one asking that.' She looked at each of their faces intently. 'He is here, isn't he?'
'Your brother?' Quatre shook his head. 'I have no idea where Trowa is, but as far as I know, he isn't here.'
'But. but where else could he be?' Catherine looked around helplessly. 'I thought he'd be with the rest of the Gundam pilots. In other words, with you.'
'We tried to contact him about the new danger, but we found absolutely no trace of him.' Quatre informed her.
For a moment, Catherine's spirit seemed to be broken: tears leaked out of her frightened eyes as she bit her lip and lowered her head.
Relena put an arm around her again and spoke gently. 'Catherine, your brother likes to be solitary. He knows how to cover up his tracks. And just because he hasn't contacted you or the other pilots, doesn't mean that he's in danger. He just wants to be alone for a while.' She subconsciously touched her neck, where Tekkan had held his knife, and added: 'Believe me, he'll be a lot safer anywhere else than here.'
Catherine nodded, taking all the comforting words in, and straightened up with new confidence. She flashed another smile around the circle of people. 'So, what have you been up to here? Tell me your adventures.'
Quatre laughed. 'Adventures? Maybe Heero's been having adventures, but not me.'
Relena suddenly let go of her friend and turned to him. 'What are you talking about? You just saved me and Heero from Tekkan! I would call that an adventure. And I'm very grateful to you,' she said fervently.
Heero, who had been disinterestedly following the conversation, felt something in him twinge in pain. Her words were meant for him to hear. He had always been her rescuer, but now she had another; one, that would not bring such misery to her. Someone who could be her friend.
In disappointment and his own anger at it, he lowered his head. He had met Relena's gaze, he had stood up to her, he had done his duty. And he now knew he had lost her forever. She wouldn't speak to him again after this about anything that wasn't entirely business. Good, he thought grimly. She has always been a danger to my mission.
But however hard he tried, he could not conjure the satisfaction he wanted to feel. He felt only intolerable pain.
While he was gazing at the ground, he suddenly noticed an outline; places where the grass had been pressed down.
'Quatre,' he said in a low, urgent voice.
'What is it?' Quatre looked up inquisitively.
'Look here,' answered Heero, pointing at the ground. 'Someone was lying here.'
Quatre studied the imprints for a second, then turned ashen. 'Oh, no!' he groaned. 'This is where SHE was!'
'And who is she?' Heero asked.
The other Gundam pilot explained to him how he had found out about the secret tunnel.
'And when I left, the girl with the hazel curls was still lying there, stunned,' he finished. 'And now. she's gone. Maybe to help Tekkan or something.'
Heero sighed. 'I think I know the girl,' he said slowly. 'She was the one that gave me the instructions to come here in the first place.'
Suddenly they were interrupted by Catherine, who had been watching them with a fascinated expression on her face all along.
'Hold it!' she demanded. 'How about you explain to Relena and me what this is all about? We don't understand anything -at least, I don't- and we can't help unless we do, right?'
The boys exchanged significant glances. Quatre decided to speak for both of them:
'Look, we know you want to help, but we are not to give away information like that, under pain of death. So, we can't tell you the main object of our mission. What we can do,' he added, seeing the disappointed look on Catherine's face, 'is tell you what characters are involved, and who you have to fear. But don't forget, this is dangerous. I know you've been in danger before, but why risk your life again? It's easy to get killed at this school, as you, Miss Relena, found out soon. And you must understand that, with Trowa gone, we feel responsible for you, Catherine. Alright?'
Catherine grinned. 'So tell us,' she said simply.
The Gundam pilots related the facts they were allowed to: that there was something valuable and extremely dangerous hidden in the school, that Wufei met Heero at night to investigate on it, that Quatre and Duo were playing reporters and snooping about the high school, that Heero was supposed to act like a normal kid, that Tekkan was under suspicion of having something to do with the hidden object, had a grudge against Heero and Relena, and knew Quatre's real identification.
To finish, they gave a brief account of their latest 'adventure' in the tunnel.
Catherine's eyes widened. 'So Tekkan's still around here somewhere?'
Heero shrugged. 'Probably not. Too scared.'
'Well,' Quatre continued in a more cheerful tone, 'how about we all go home now and get some rest. I think we're all tired out. Do you have a place to stay, Catherine?'
At this, Catherine suddenly giggled. Everybody else looked at her confusedly, so she tried to appear earnest and assured Quatre she had a room in a hotel.
***************************************
As the Gundam pilots were leaving, Relena turned on Catherine. 'Alright, I know you're hiding a secret,' she told her severely, 'but I'm not sure I even want to know what you're up to. How about you come home to my place right now?'
Catherine was delighted. 'Sure, I'd love to. I just have to phone Hilde, she's expecting me this-' she stopped short.
Relena laughed out loud; something she hadn't done since Tekkan had sent her the mysterious note she had believed to be Heero's.
'So Hilde's here, huh? What is she going to do?' she asked curiously.
Catherine shrugged. 'Oh, she isn't sure how she's going to explain to the guys that she is totally accidentally taking a holiday here. But you know Hilde: she'll think of something.'
*********************************
At that very moment, Hilde was standing outside her room, saying good- bye to Duo.
'So we're agreed on our plan, then?' Duo asked, his eyes dancing.
Hilde grinned. 'Absolutely,' she confirmed. You take him, and I'll take her. It will be so much fun!'
With that, she closed her door, and Duo left the hotel, whistling in anticipation.
******************************
At home, Relena sat down heavily on her bed. Catherine looked at her sympathetically and seated herself on the soft carpet.
'What's the trouble, Relena?' she asked openly.
Relena looked up in a forlorn way. 'It's nothing- nothing that could compare with some of the big dangers that seem to be lurking about the school. I'm concerned for all those students- what if it's a bomb?'
Catherine shrugged. 'There's not much we can do about that, except hope for the best and trust in the Gundam pilots. And stop worrying.' She raised a stern eyebrow at Relena, who looked suddenly more desolate than before.
She smiled knowingly. 'But maybe it would be best not to talk about the Gundam pilots? Especially one in particular?'
Relena's head shot up in defiance. 'What do you mean?' she asked suspiciously.
Catherine laughed. 'I have life experience, Relena, more than you do. You don't want to talk about Heero because you think your feelings aren't worthy of being mentioned beside the big, frightening things that are happening. But tell me about it, OK? You are important, even if you don't think so.'
Relena's face expression turned bitter. 'Yes,' she said in a low, biting voice. 'I'm important. Because my last name is Peacecraft. That's all that matters to him!'
Her friend shook her head. 'Are you sure?' she asked softly. Then, in a brisker voice: 'This is Heero we're talking about, right? Just for the record.'
Relena smiled thinly. 'Who else? Quatre and Duo appreciate me like a friend, but Heero.' she stopped.
'. appreciates you as something more,' Catherine finished, her grin spreading all over her face.
'No!' was Relena's firm answer. 'He accepts and protects me as the symbol of peace, and that's all! He told me himself!'
At this, Catherine laughed. 'My God, Relena, if you trust everything he says, you'll soon be convinced that he doesn't care for anything!' As Relena had fallen silent, she went on: 'I told you I had lots of practice in handling these kinds of people; Trowa is very similar.'
'In what sense?'
'Well, even though Trowa says less than Heero, and isn't so devoted to his missions, it's more or less the same case. You can't trust what they say.' She fixed her gaze on Relena very decidedly. 'They say whatever's been hammered into their heads, and if they don't have an answer, they'll be coarse with you just to get rid of you. That doesn't mean they're not perfectly nice people, and Heero's special. He's got a lot of advantages and disadvantages, but don't just be blinded by what appears to be his cruelty and unfeeling. I'm positive he feels a lot, especially for you, Relena.'
Relena stared at her in amazement. 'But what am I to go by, if not by what he says? He always hides his feelings, so I can't look at his face, and all his actions are so reserved that I can't make anything of them.'
'Go by feeling,' Catherine suggested. 'Try to experience what he's feeling and you'll know.'
Then lowering her voice, she winked at Relena. 'Or try catching him by surprise, so that he doesn't have time to cover up those precious emotions of his.'
Relena laughed. 'You're evil!' she exclaimed happily, jumping off her bed to hug her friend. 'But I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for all that.'
*****************************
That night, Heero slipped into the high school again. He made his way through the dark hallways to the office, where a figure was already unlocking the door. The figure looked up sharply and asked in a familiar voice: 'Heero?'
'Hi, Wufei.' Heero pushed past him into the office.
Wufei entered too, and threw off the long coat he was wearing.
'OK,' he said, sitting down on one of the chairs. 'What news?'
Heero started by explaining what had happened in school that day. 'And I contacted Doctor J. He sent me an update on the mission.' He finished his narrative.
'So?' Wufei was impatient.
Heero looked at him, unimpressed. 'He's getting a weapon ready.'
'A weapon?' Wufei frowned in disbelief. Suddenly his expression cleared. 'Oh! You mean-'
When Heero nodded, he smiled grimly. 'At last there's something going on!'
'He also informs us to go on investigating the whereabouts of the 'gundanium alloy' and track every suspicious character,' Heero continued.
'So let's get moving!' Wufei jumped to his feet.
Heero agreed by nodding his head, and soon both pilots had checked their guns and snuck off into the dark passages of the school.
They stuck to the lowest levels and inspected every classroom and storage room on the way.
After about an hours' painstakingly careful work, they reached the gym.
Wufei stared along its enormous length with dislike. 'This is hopeless!' he stormed. 'They would never put the secret entrance to their gundanium in an open place like this!'
Heero was not having that. 'Inspect all the ridges and holes they use to build up the equipment,' he commanded. 'Something could easily be hidden below those.'
Wufei's black eyes flashed. 'And who gave you the authority to give orders like that?'
To the other pilot's complete surprise, Heero smiled. 'You could fight me for it,' he suggested slyly.
Wufei grinned in appreciation. 'Get ready !' he told him and crouched on the floor in fighter's stance.
Heero laughed but tensed his muscles; and before Wufei had a chance to do or say anything, he leaped onto him, bringing him flat onto the ground.
'You cheated!' protested Wufei, trying to keep from laughing in his uncomfortable position. In just another fraction of a second, he had sprang from the ground, tossing Heero aside.
He was on his feet fast enough to duck Wufei's next attack, and jump on him in turn.
Soon they were engaged in a kind of wild-kitten-fight, each of them exclaiming insults or accusations at the other. Finally, they both sat on the floor, gasping for breath from the exertion and the laughing.
Heero, who had had the last upper hand, punched the exhausted Wufei playfully. 'I won,' he informed him.
'Never mind!' Wufei tried to look indignant, but failed when a wide grin spread over his face. 'You cheated!'
Heero laughed, shaking his head. He wasn't entirely sure what their fight had been all about, but it had felt good. Both of them had been tense and miserable; it had been such a relief to have a fight, if only to reduce their aggression and tension.
He had laughed more tonight than at any other time he could remember. He was grateful to Wufei for showing him -in quite a roundabout way- that he could have fun.
Heero was amazed. It seemed incredible to him that after all these years of nothing but missions, fighting, and killing, he could actually break through that hard shell and have fun.
Maybe Relena is right, he thought wistfully. Maybe friendship is of valuable importance. But another part of him reminded him cruelly that nothing could be more important than his missions.
His thoughts were interrupted by Wufei, who had suddenly sat up. 'Heero?'
'What is it?'
Wufei did not speak for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. Finally he glanced up at Heero.
'Who is going to be in control of the weapon?'
'I don't know. Doctor J didn't say anything about it.'
Wufei got up off the floor and looked at Heero squarely. 'I think you should,' he said openly. 'You're the best of us all.'
Heero raised an eyebrow. Wufei had actually overcome his fierce pride and told him he was superior. But in the next instant he realized with a sharp wince that the words were not true.
'You know I'm not.' His voice was void of any emotion. 'I would have been killed today if it hadn't been for Quatre. And Relena-'
He was about to curse himself for mentioning her name and drop the subject as quickly as he had begun it, but his desire to be frank with Wufei, who had cheered him up considerably, won.
'Relena, who's always been under my protection -sort of automatically- she would have been killed too if it weren't for Quatre. Or Tekkan would have done something worse than death,' he added bitterly.
To his surprise, Wufei was glaring at him. 'God, Yuy, you must be the stupidest guy ever to walk the planet! Let's get a few things straight here: First of all, it takes no great fighter to do what Quatre did. You could have done the same if you'd been in his situation. Secondly, have you ever considered why Relena has always 'automatically' been under your protection? Obviously not. It's cause she wants to, Heero. She would rather be protected by you than anybody else.'
Here he stopped to examine Heero's doubtful face, and continued in a slightly nicer voice: 'Heero, no matter what you do, that girl is always going to be eternally thankful to you and care for you.'
Heero's mind reeled. He could detect truth in the other pilot's words, but what Relena had said to him today overrode it completely. Maybe it had been true before, but it certainly wasn't now. He almost felt like crying, recalling everything he had lost.
Instead, he turned back to Wufei on an entirely different subject. 'I've been thinking. What we've been looking for is a secret entrance, most likely a trap door, right? Well, there's one right in there,' and he gestured towards the hated broom closet.
********************************
Well, like I said, in-between-thingy. Man, I don't seem to be able to write anything these days. It all comes out sounding so dull. *sigh* Hey, I know this last part was extremely weird. But my editor *points quickly at cutycatz* thought it was OK for me to put it out. So. no flames for me, for her! *j/k*
The reviewers I want to thank for their wonderful support, etc, etc, etc.:
Callisto Nicol- yeah, poor Heero! As you can see, Hilde is here!
Fallen phenoix- thanx for reviewing and ur email!
Queen Isa- uh, no, she's not Mariemea. cool idea though!
Alika- well. he knows a little, but not enough to make any real damage in that aspect.
Meio-chan- couldn't agree with you more!
Hot Balla- crazy stories are my specialty *g*
Aqua-mere- after this chapter, you won't like my writing anymore! K.K.- sorry, your name sort of got deleted! Romance? .
Amethyst-Angel462- very original review!
Laura- oops. this one took MONTHS! I'm really sorry.
Thanks to the afore-mentioned editor as well, etc, etc, etc. (u may guess I'm in a very weird mood at the moment)
C U in the next chapter,
Shooting Jewel