Hi, ppl, I'm back again! Sorry for the long delay, but I had trouble with
first my computer, then my internet access, and then, can you believe it,
my computer again! So, here's the next chapter for Mission: Below Me. As we
all know, Heero did something very, very bad last chapter. Now let's see
the effects!
And any of you who are also reading my HP fic, I'll be continuing it soon. Don't despair!
Hope all of my nice reviewers are still out there somewhere. alright, I'll stop chatting and get on with the story.
Prey to Emotion
The streets Relena hurried along weren't really dark, as the hotels, shops, and businesses she passed were ablaze with a variety of different coloured lights. The city was still alive with cars and the occasional pedestrians at this hour.
Relena made her way surely past the buildings that lined the street, while thinking of her school. It wasn't a great school, where everybody got along with everybody else, and all the teachers were competent and friendly. There often was trouble with groups of boys getting violent, students dropping out or skipping, and she could think of quite a few mean and unfair teachers. But she had friends there, and most of the kids were good - even if they were just kids. They were all innocent, all the people that went there. Relena could just see the destruction, the blood, the screaming students, the lifeless bodies, and, worst of all, the fear in the people's faces - images she remembered only too well from her own experiences. They knew nothing - nothing of the hatred, the fear, the murderous accuracy of war. And she had to keep it that way. She, the Gundam pilots, Catherine and Hilde all had to work together to shield her school from the growing threat it housed.
Suddenly a familiar profile caught her attention on the other side of the street. Her first reaction was a smile, and her arm jerked up to wave at the boy. But the pleasant remembrance of laughing down at that grinning face while swinging up in the air was blacked out by a more recent image - obsessive hatred screwing up the plain but friendly features.
Her arm dropped to her side again, and she hastily turned a corner, away from the direction of her home and the boy across the street, farther into the heart of the city. It hurt to run away from Santio, who had always been a loyal friend, if not a very inspiring one. He had always admired her - with a jolt of shock she realized that he probably thought he loved her - and in their last meeting she had hurt him, when all he wanted was her affection in return. Guiltily she considered going back to him, maybe apologizing, to find out what was wrong, but her feet continued taking her away from him. That knot of disgust and fear in her stomach would not loosen.
************************************
Heero noticed the change instantly. One minute he was sitting normally at the table, trying to find the strategically best way for his withdrawal - it was obvious this place was not the one he was supposed to be at right now - and the next, there was an electric shock through his middle. It was followed by a dangerous, seducing warmth that spread all over him. The beat of the music vibrated in his head, and with a detached disbelief he registered that his hands were trembling.
At first he couldn't think. It took all his control to stop his clenched fists from shaking. Then he tried to sort out what had happened. There were two worlds that kept sliding back and forth, going over into each other. There was Ryan, laughing - and red spots dancing in front of his eyes - and the leering face that belonged to one of Jiran's friends - the table hardly felt solid anymore, it was as soft as a cloud - The other world was the perfect soldier telling him to concentrate; to work out what had happened and how to get the better of it. A soldier never shows weakness.
With great effort born from his harshest training, he clung to the second world and listened to his pilot's instincts. Calm down, he instructed himself. Wait until you've got yourself under control enough so that you can speak without any of this showing. Now make an excuse, any excuse, to get out of this place.
'Hey, I have to get going,' Heero began, trying to address Ryan and Damon, which wasn't easy as they kept moving in and out of his vision. Interrupting the disbelieving protests that seemed to be slipping through endless layers of air towards him, getting quieter all the time, he added, by way of explanation: 'There's an old friend around here I have to go visit.'
His confidence reassured slightly by the fact that his voice didn't shake or betray anything of the chaos inside his body and mind, Heero got up quickly. Although his legs felt as if they were detached from the rest of him, he felt his foot connect with something hard - had he thrown over a chair?
There was no stopping now, if he didn't get out of this place soon, he would go crazy. The music alone was crashing down on him, concocting a pointless aggression inside him. It took all his self-control to refrain from kicking his way through the over-crowded dancing floor. As it was, some shouts and insults followed him as he tried to push through the continually moving mass of people without using too much brutal strength.
Then, finally, he was at the door, finally he could stumble out into the fresh air and feel the door close behind him, shutting out the worst of the music's blare. Exhausted, he leaned against the building, feeling a strange sweat slipping down his back, and trying to gather his wits about him again.
***********************************************
Relena was angry with herself. Well away from Santio, she now felt like a coward, not to mention a fool. She had gone far out of her way to avoid one of her friends, when she should have got to the bottom of the problem instead.
The sidewalk led her past some bars and night clubs. The music with its never varying beat struck out at her from the different lighted doorways. In quick, disinterested glimpses she saw that mostly only older men were sitting in these. All the young people, Relena suddenly remembered, would probably be at the big party everyone at school had been talking about.
'Oh!' Relena breathed suddenly. It was clear that she had found it. The big party at the Lab. She vaguely knew the building, and undoubtedly it was there just to her right. It seemed to be pulsing to the never-ending rhythm of the music and the dancers inside, but there were also a few people outside. Three girls were sitting on the curb of the sidewalk, smoking silently. Relena could also see some couples attempting to hide behind the scraggly bushes that led down one side of the Lab.
And there was a figure hunched against the door. He slowly leaned his head back. Relena stood absolutely still. For although the boy's eyes were closed as if in pain or exhaustion, she knew that if she moved, they would snap open and reveal their unmistakable blue colour.
***********************************
At last the effects of the drug were wearing off. Heero could finally breathe regularly and feel his heartbeat slow down from the maniac speed that had possessed it before to a normal thumping. His body felt tired, his limbs like lead, and his head like someone was tying a too tight bandage around it.
Breathing a deep sigh of relief, Heero let his head roll back against the hard wall. But when he opened his eyes to see if they still functioned properly, his first and only thought was that the drug made him hallucinate. After that, the white-hot heat he thought he had just got rid of took control of him.
There was no more room for rational thought. The only things that existed were Relena's crystal blue eyes, her palely shimmering hair, the whole enchantment around her, and the warmth and desire within him.
************************************
Instead of the cold tirade Relena had been expecting (after all, she was in the one place he had forbidden her to go tonight), she received the strangest look she had ever seen Heero Yuy wear. It was confused and comprehending at the same time, far-away and filled with a tense and very real power.
Relena was tempted to back away, suddenly scared by the unsettlingly potent gaze. But she held her ground; having run from one friend already, she was not about to do it again.
A few swift steps she didn't even realize he'd taken, and Heero was right in front of her. Before she could open her mouth to greet him, or maybe give an explanation for being here, he took one of her hands in both of his.
Relena gasped in a way that did not show on the outside. It was not the movement itself that had amazed her as much as the deliberate intention which it seemed to carry. Any other time they had happened to hold hands, it was purely accidental, or her initiative.
Heero drew her hand against his neck, pressing it to himself. Beneath it she could feel his pulse, quick and erratic. Not daring to speak in case the spell would break, she gazed at him silently, trying to reassure her thumping heart that he did not mean what she thought he did.
It was Heero who broke the silence. Bending his head down so that his right cheek nearly brushed her own, he whispered in her ear: 'Relena.' His unbalanced voice proved that he was not smoothly acting, but sincere.
'Do you care for me at all, Relena?'
For a moment the girl in question was sure that she had fallen asleep at some part of this long evening, laughing about toilet paper with Hilde in her hotel room. This question was out of a fantasy; the kind of thing the hero in a school-girl romance novel asks the heroine just before the first love scene. The question wasn't real, she couldn't answer it.
While she stood, her hand on his neck, the two of them so close together one movement would have made their bodies or faces touch, Heero's tension broke.
It all happened at once. His arms were around her: tight, warm and close. The miniscule gap between them was breached, their hearts and heaving chests now moving against each other. And Relena, without knowing what had happened, could taste Heero's hot dry lips and skin as he sought hers.
This was not like the single tentative kiss he had given her in the light hall of the school. It had seemed beautiful and safe. This was frantic desire overflowing with emotion. Relena forgot about being a decent, sixteen-year-old school girl and indulged in the risk of being a woman - a woman together with the man she loved. But nothing mattered, everything was the same in these moments: heat, coldness, fear, joy, danger, safety.
Their lips parted, both of them catching their breaths. In that moment, when she had time to think, Relena fully felt all the strangeness of the situation: she wanted to kiss Heero, again and again; be held by him and show him just how much she loved him. Which brought her to the second, the most shameful absurdity.
She was in love with Heero Yuy. She knew it and that it was a catastrophe. Heero lived a life where nothing was sure. He could be sent to the ends of the earth or into space on one of his missions in the blink of an eye - and he would always leave her behind. His life was in danger - there had been so many times since she had known him when he had been miliseconds away from dying. He would always have his enemies and be at war with them. Nobody had ever seen him truly express his emotions - for all she knew, he could be just a rational, cold-blooded killer. Even though she inwardly screamed out in protest at this thought, she had no proof. Maybe everything he had ever told her had been a lie, every action an order and not of his own free will. She had no proof that he wasn't, only her strong feeling to rely on.
But what amazed her most was Heero himself. Who would have ever expected the iron-hard Gundam pilot to 'give himself away' like this? It seemed unbelievable. But this expression in his eyes, the catch in his voice when he had spoken to her - it was real, Relena tried to convince herself desperately. Because if it wasn't, then he was betraying her and she could not bear that thought.
Trying to find the proof that would banish the doubts which were gnawing at her happiness, she reached up a hand to stroke his cheek. The desire in her had to be fed.
Heero did not appear even surprised, just turned his head slightly so he could kiss her fingers. This small gesture, so fleeting, so uncharacteristic, made a feeling like everlasting love and joy tingle inside Relena. It gave her courage, and, when their lips moved against each other again, it was Relena who had taken the initiative.
***********************************
It was after midnight when Relena finally and reluctantly decided she had to go. There was no way of knowing how long she had stood in front of the Lab with Heero, exchanging tendernesses. But as it grew late and cold, reality pressed her, and reality meant homework and studying the next day.
'I have to go,' she told Heero in a low voice, not wanting to harm the magic any more than she had to.
'Don't,' Heero whispered roughly, but his arms slid back from around her waist and he took a step away from her.
Now that they were apart, Relena suddenly found the situation awkward, and not only because of Heero's piercing and intensive stare.
'Well, good-bye,' she said after a moment's shifting her weight from one foot to the other, willing Heero to say something. 'I'll see you in school on Monday.'
Nodding vaguely, Heero echoed her words: 'Good-bye.' But he didn't seem to have registered what he had said at all. He seemed - there was no other word for it - spaced out.
Still, Relena left and walked home with happiness and excitement exploding inside her. Heero had kissed her, and not run away, he wanted her; her, not her name or what she stood for, but her, Relena. Her thoughts tumbled over each other, but all of them were so delightful that she didn't mind in the least.
Had she thought a bit more about why Heero had so unexpectedly displayed his emotions, she might have been more prepared for what met her the following Monday.
*****************************************
I, Shooting Jewel, officially admit that this is not only an extremely short chapter, but also one nearly utterly void of action. I duly hope, however, that the increasingly romantic action between the lead characters will compensate these incompetencies.
Drop the formalities. really sorry about the short chappie, hope there'll be another one along shortly. and it would be great if you'd review to tell me if you liked the H/R or not. thanx!
There weren't many reviews anyway, so I'll just leave off mentioning them for this chap - luv y'all!
S.J.
(as edited by cuty-cat, who now calls herself Arabian Knight *^-^*)
And any of you who are also reading my HP fic, I'll be continuing it soon. Don't despair!
Hope all of my nice reviewers are still out there somewhere. alright, I'll stop chatting and get on with the story.
Prey to Emotion
The streets Relena hurried along weren't really dark, as the hotels, shops, and businesses she passed were ablaze with a variety of different coloured lights. The city was still alive with cars and the occasional pedestrians at this hour.
Relena made her way surely past the buildings that lined the street, while thinking of her school. It wasn't a great school, where everybody got along with everybody else, and all the teachers were competent and friendly. There often was trouble with groups of boys getting violent, students dropping out or skipping, and she could think of quite a few mean and unfair teachers. But she had friends there, and most of the kids were good - even if they were just kids. They were all innocent, all the people that went there. Relena could just see the destruction, the blood, the screaming students, the lifeless bodies, and, worst of all, the fear in the people's faces - images she remembered only too well from her own experiences. They knew nothing - nothing of the hatred, the fear, the murderous accuracy of war. And she had to keep it that way. She, the Gundam pilots, Catherine and Hilde all had to work together to shield her school from the growing threat it housed.
Suddenly a familiar profile caught her attention on the other side of the street. Her first reaction was a smile, and her arm jerked up to wave at the boy. But the pleasant remembrance of laughing down at that grinning face while swinging up in the air was blacked out by a more recent image - obsessive hatred screwing up the plain but friendly features.
Her arm dropped to her side again, and she hastily turned a corner, away from the direction of her home and the boy across the street, farther into the heart of the city. It hurt to run away from Santio, who had always been a loyal friend, if not a very inspiring one. He had always admired her - with a jolt of shock she realized that he probably thought he loved her - and in their last meeting she had hurt him, when all he wanted was her affection in return. Guiltily she considered going back to him, maybe apologizing, to find out what was wrong, but her feet continued taking her away from him. That knot of disgust and fear in her stomach would not loosen.
************************************
Heero noticed the change instantly. One minute he was sitting normally at the table, trying to find the strategically best way for his withdrawal - it was obvious this place was not the one he was supposed to be at right now - and the next, there was an electric shock through his middle. It was followed by a dangerous, seducing warmth that spread all over him. The beat of the music vibrated in his head, and with a detached disbelief he registered that his hands were trembling.
At first he couldn't think. It took all his control to stop his clenched fists from shaking. Then he tried to sort out what had happened. There were two worlds that kept sliding back and forth, going over into each other. There was Ryan, laughing - and red spots dancing in front of his eyes - and the leering face that belonged to one of Jiran's friends - the table hardly felt solid anymore, it was as soft as a cloud - The other world was the perfect soldier telling him to concentrate; to work out what had happened and how to get the better of it. A soldier never shows weakness.
With great effort born from his harshest training, he clung to the second world and listened to his pilot's instincts. Calm down, he instructed himself. Wait until you've got yourself under control enough so that you can speak without any of this showing. Now make an excuse, any excuse, to get out of this place.
'Hey, I have to get going,' Heero began, trying to address Ryan and Damon, which wasn't easy as they kept moving in and out of his vision. Interrupting the disbelieving protests that seemed to be slipping through endless layers of air towards him, getting quieter all the time, he added, by way of explanation: 'There's an old friend around here I have to go visit.'
His confidence reassured slightly by the fact that his voice didn't shake or betray anything of the chaos inside his body and mind, Heero got up quickly. Although his legs felt as if they were detached from the rest of him, he felt his foot connect with something hard - had he thrown over a chair?
There was no stopping now, if he didn't get out of this place soon, he would go crazy. The music alone was crashing down on him, concocting a pointless aggression inside him. It took all his self-control to refrain from kicking his way through the over-crowded dancing floor. As it was, some shouts and insults followed him as he tried to push through the continually moving mass of people without using too much brutal strength.
Then, finally, he was at the door, finally he could stumble out into the fresh air and feel the door close behind him, shutting out the worst of the music's blare. Exhausted, he leaned against the building, feeling a strange sweat slipping down his back, and trying to gather his wits about him again.
***********************************************
Relena was angry with herself. Well away from Santio, she now felt like a coward, not to mention a fool. She had gone far out of her way to avoid one of her friends, when she should have got to the bottom of the problem instead.
The sidewalk led her past some bars and night clubs. The music with its never varying beat struck out at her from the different lighted doorways. In quick, disinterested glimpses she saw that mostly only older men were sitting in these. All the young people, Relena suddenly remembered, would probably be at the big party everyone at school had been talking about.
'Oh!' Relena breathed suddenly. It was clear that she had found it. The big party at the Lab. She vaguely knew the building, and undoubtedly it was there just to her right. It seemed to be pulsing to the never-ending rhythm of the music and the dancers inside, but there were also a few people outside. Three girls were sitting on the curb of the sidewalk, smoking silently. Relena could also see some couples attempting to hide behind the scraggly bushes that led down one side of the Lab.
And there was a figure hunched against the door. He slowly leaned his head back. Relena stood absolutely still. For although the boy's eyes were closed as if in pain or exhaustion, she knew that if she moved, they would snap open and reveal their unmistakable blue colour.
***********************************
At last the effects of the drug were wearing off. Heero could finally breathe regularly and feel his heartbeat slow down from the maniac speed that had possessed it before to a normal thumping. His body felt tired, his limbs like lead, and his head like someone was tying a too tight bandage around it.
Breathing a deep sigh of relief, Heero let his head roll back against the hard wall. But when he opened his eyes to see if they still functioned properly, his first and only thought was that the drug made him hallucinate. After that, the white-hot heat he thought he had just got rid of took control of him.
There was no more room for rational thought. The only things that existed were Relena's crystal blue eyes, her palely shimmering hair, the whole enchantment around her, and the warmth and desire within him.
************************************
Instead of the cold tirade Relena had been expecting (after all, she was in the one place he had forbidden her to go tonight), she received the strangest look she had ever seen Heero Yuy wear. It was confused and comprehending at the same time, far-away and filled with a tense and very real power.
Relena was tempted to back away, suddenly scared by the unsettlingly potent gaze. But she held her ground; having run from one friend already, she was not about to do it again.
A few swift steps she didn't even realize he'd taken, and Heero was right in front of her. Before she could open her mouth to greet him, or maybe give an explanation for being here, he took one of her hands in both of his.
Relena gasped in a way that did not show on the outside. It was not the movement itself that had amazed her as much as the deliberate intention which it seemed to carry. Any other time they had happened to hold hands, it was purely accidental, or her initiative.
Heero drew her hand against his neck, pressing it to himself. Beneath it she could feel his pulse, quick and erratic. Not daring to speak in case the spell would break, she gazed at him silently, trying to reassure her thumping heart that he did not mean what she thought he did.
It was Heero who broke the silence. Bending his head down so that his right cheek nearly brushed her own, he whispered in her ear: 'Relena.' His unbalanced voice proved that he was not smoothly acting, but sincere.
'Do you care for me at all, Relena?'
For a moment the girl in question was sure that she had fallen asleep at some part of this long evening, laughing about toilet paper with Hilde in her hotel room. This question was out of a fantasy; the kind of thing the hero in a school-girl romance novel asks the heroine just before the first love scene. The question wasn't real, she couldn't answer it.
While she stood, her hand on his neck, the two of them so close together one movement would have made their bodies or faces touch, Heero's tension broke.
It all happened at once. His arms were around her: tight, warm and close. The miniscule gap between them was breached, their hearts and heaving chests now moving against each other. And Relena, without knowing what had happened, could taste Heero's hot dry lips and skin as he sought hers.
This was not like the single tentative kiss he had given her in the light hall of the school. It had seemed beautiful and safe. This was frantic desire overflowing with emotion. Relena forgot about being a decent, sixteen-year-old school girl and indulged in the risk of being a woman - a woman together with the man she loved. But nothing mattered, everything was the same in these moments: heat, coldness, fear, joy, danger, safety.
Their lips parted, both of them catching their breaths. In that moment, when she had time to think, Relena fully felt all the strangeness of the situation: she wanted to kiss Heero, again and again; be held by him and show him just how much she loved him. Which brought her to the second, the most shameful absurdity.
She was in love with Heero Yuy. She knew it and that it was a catastrophe. Heero lived a life where nothing was sure. He could be sent to the ends of the earth or into space on one of his missions in the blink of an eye - and he would always leave her behind. His life was in danger - there had been so many times since she had known him when he had been miliseconds away from dying. He would always have his enemies and be at war with them. Nobody had ever seen him truly express his emotions - for all she knew, he could be just a rational, cold-blooded killer. Even though she inwardly screamed out in protest at this thought, she had no proof. Maybe everything he had ever told her had been a lie, every action an order and not of his own free will. She had no proof that he wasn't, only her strong feeling to rely on.
But what amazed her most was Heero himself. Who would have ever expected the iron-hard Gundam pilot to 'give himself away' like this? It seemed unbelievable. But this expression in his eyes, the catch in his voice when he had spoken to her - it was real, Relena tried to convince herself desperately. Because if it wasn't, then he was betraying her and she could not bear that thought.
Trying to find the proof that would banish the doubts which were gnawing at her happiness, she reached up a hand to stroke his cheek. The desire in her had to be fed.
Heero did not appear even surprised, just turned his head slightly so he could kiss her fingers. This small gesture, so fleeting, so uncharacteristic, made a feeling like everlasting love and joy tingle inside Relena. It gave her courage, and, when their lips moved against each other again, it was Relena who had taken the initiative.
***********************************
It was after midnight when Relena finally and reluctantly decided she had to go. There was no way of knowing how long she had stood in front of the Lab with Heero, exchanging tendernesses. But as it grew late and cold, reality pressed her, and reality meant homework and studying the next day.
'I have to go,' she told Heero in a low voice, not wanting to harm the magic any more than she had to.
'Don't,' Heero whispered roughly, but his arms slid back from around her waist and he took a step away from her.
Now that they were apart, Relena suddenly found the situation awkward, and not only because of Heero's piercing and intensive stare.
'Well, good-bye,' she said after a moment's shifting her weight from one foot to the other, willing Heero to say something. 'I'll see you in school on Monday.'
Nodding vaguely, Heero echoed her words: 'Good-bye.' But he didn't seem to have registered what he had said at all. He seemed - there was no other word for it - spaced out.
Still, Relena left and walked home with happiness and excitement exploding inside her. Heero had kissed her, and not run away, he wanted her; her, not her name or what she stood for, but her, Relena. Her thoughts tumbled over each other, but all of them were so delightful that she didn't mind in the least.
Had she thought a bit more about why Heero had so unexpectedly displayed his emotions, she might have been more prepared for what met her the following Monday.
*****************************************
I, Shooting Jewel, officially admit that this is not only an extremely short chapter, but also one nearly utterly void of action. I duly hope, however, that the increasingly romantic action between the lead characters will compensate these incompetencies.
Drop the formalities. really sorry about the short chappie, hope there'll be another one along shortly. and it would be great if you'd review to tell me if you liked the H/R or not. thanx!
There weren't many reviews anyway, so I'll just leave off mentioning them for this chap - luv y'all!
S.J.
(as edited by cuty-cat, who now calls herself Arabian Knight *^-^*)