Disclaimer: None of the char. in FMA belongs to me..
Alphonse Elric.
Was that who I really am? What if Barry was right? All the memories I had now … were they real? One part of my brain told me not to believe the words of that murderer, but I could not push away the doubts that had now filled my mind.
Is Edward really my brother?
It hurts to think about Ed not being my brother. There was nobody else in the world I love more than him (Other than Mother…), and our purpose in seeking the philosopher's stone was so that we could get his arm and leg back. He said he would get my body back with the stone, but do I even have a body? Am I human?
I didn't know what to think anymore as I sat on the balcony waiting as Winry fixed Brother's automail. What was the question he wanted to ask me the other time? Did he want to tell me that he had planted those memories within me? The beautiful memories of our childhood, playing with Winry and experimenting with alchemy. And my most cherished memories of Mother, so gentle and lovely …
The door opened. Winry and Brother stepped out. Brother used alchemy to fix up the broken parts of my body. In truth, I didn't want to be fixed up. My brain was in such a chaos now I just wished someone would break my blood seal and I would disappear, never having to think about these questions again.
I confronted Brother with my questions. He seemed hesitant; he didn't seem to have an answer. So, I fled. I couldn't face him anymore, I couldn't face the thought that he was not my brother; I couldn't face the thought that I was not human …
I wanted to cry. I wanted to taste the saltiness of tears as it flowed down my cheeks. But all I felt was a sense of metallic and robotic feeling. I couldn't even cry! I'm useless useless useless!
AL!
I felt a sense of loss and desperation as Al ran off. That idiot! How could he believe such a stupid thing! I wanted to punch him so he could see the truth. Al is my brother and I love him, how could he ever believe all those memories were implanted! Idiot!
All I have felt each time I stare at Al's metallic body was guilt. If it wasn't for my stupidity and rashness, all this wouldn't have happened. Because of me, Al couldn't even enjoy simple actions like eating or swimming.
What I wanted to ask him the other day was whether he hated me for what I did. I was afraid he would say yes. I didn't dare to face my fear, I didn't want to know his true feelings about me. If Al really hated me …
But I couldn't leave things hanging in this situation. I had to tell Al that he's human and without doubt, my brother. Yes, I will find the stone and get his body back! I will face my fears, and ask him for forgiveness. Al is my brother! (And an idiot too … I should knock some sense into him when I find him …)
END