Title: Last Letter

Author: NT aka Aku-chan

Pairing(s): Se-cr-et! But it's shounen ai, I can assure you!

Warning(s): Angst, and a very small reference to some shoujo ai, oh and shounen ai of course

Enjoy!

LAST LETTER

Remember the days when we were young? Well, I can't. So please, remember for me and make me relive the happiest moments of my life. Because even if I can't hold onto those memories, I can still remember the times when you were beside me and the times when you would hold me and the times when you would smile only for me.

But now, I can't see you and I don't know where you are or how you are. Are you well? Are you living your dreams? Are you happy? I know it's pointless to ask these questions because I'll never find the answers. Because you aren't here.

And if you aren't here now, you must've been there when I was young. So remember those days when we were young. Remember those days when it was only you and me that mattered to the world. Remember those days when we didn't have to say a word to understand what the other was thinking. Remember the way I looked at you and the way you looked at me. Remember the past that I had let slip through my fingers.

Remember the times I sung you to sleep. I still remember the song I sang to you and only for you. I've never sung that song to anyone else. It was only you. And I promise, one day, I'll sing you that song again. When we see each other again, I'll sing to you. And it'll be just like when we were young. It'll be just the two of us, and that's all that will matter.

Hopefully, when I see you next, it won't be soon. Because if you are reading this, it means I have died. Yes, I have died without seeing you again, without touching your hand, without kissing your lips just one last time. I am no longer here in body, but in soul and heart, I have always belonged to you. You might not want to hear that, you might have moved on and loved another, but this is my only regret.

To have let you slip away, to have forgotten those days when we were in love, to have left without seeing you... just once more... that is my regret. But this is my wish. You live long, live happy and live wise. You may become foolish and make mistakes, but never, never let your smile die. And remember me. Even if I cannot remember the past we shared, you're never forgotten.

Remember that.

And remember I love you. Forever and always, just as I had promised.

I love you. Forever and always.

I promise.

Goodbye.

'I love you.'

'Forever and Always.'

'Goodbye.'

"How could you...? How could you leave me this! How could you! ...How could you leave me... Sasuke..."

"C'mon, you've been here all day. Let's go home."

"...but I won't be going home. Home has left me! I don't have a home anymore! He left me..."

"Shhhh, don't cry anymore."

"Y-You're a bastard, Sasuke! A bastard! How- How could you leave me? How could you! Why couldn't you have... why couldn't you have stayed alive! I... we could've been happy... we could've been so damn happy... But you ruined it all! You ruined everything! You ruined... me..."

"Let's go back... it's not healthy for you to stay here."

"No... he didn't ruin me... he made me who I am... Sasuke, you made me. Sasuke..."

"Please don't cry anymore."

"Sasuke... come back... please, Sasuke... please, just... come back to me..."

"You're only hurting yourself, let's go back. It's getting dark now."

"Sasuke! Why won't you come back? Why won't you come back for me! Sasuke!"

"Why won't you understand already? He's gone... he's not coming back. You have to let it go."

"No... I'm not letting go... Not again..."

'Sasuke...'

You might not remember but I remember everything. Every touch, every hidden smile, every look in your eyes. I remember every way your body moved and every place that made you shiver. Because I had touched you. Everywhere and I remember it all. Sasuke, how could you leave me? How could you... let yourself die? I'm just being selfish, aren't I?

I really hope you're happy wherever you are. I can't remember the last time I saw you. Nine years ago? Ten? Why have I never saw you in so long, Sasuke? You know, for all those years, every night I would think of you. Every night, I always wondered why you had left me. I thought we were happy, I know I was. But... I always thought you were happy too. I haven't gotten much sleep in the last ten years. I feel like I'm turning into Gaara now. Heh, can you imagine that? I cried every night after you left. Until I just couldn't cry anymore, but that was the same time I couldn't feel anymore either.

Iruka was practically stalking me after he found me on the bathroom floor covered in blood. He cried that night, holding me in his arms. I can remember the warmth that was around me and I started to cry too. It was the same warmth when you held me in your arms. I moved out of my old apartment after that and moved into Iruka's home. Kakashi moved in soon afterwards, and it was almost like I had a family. But... I still couldn't feel anything.

I remember the nights. I wouldn't sleep much and I heard Iruka crying in the other room. He was crying for me. I knew he was, but I couldn't comfort him because I couldn't even feel. I could barely comfort myself, how was I to comfort another? I would curl up under the covers, holding myself and trying to fall asleep. But every time I closed my eyes, I would see you, so I would always open them again. Because I was afraid. I was afraid that if I closed my eyes too long, I would never open them again. I didn't really mind it, but I couldn't hurt Iruka anymore.

Tsunade stopped giving me missions. She visited me once and when I had opened the door, she had a look of shock, pity and complete sorrow. I would tell you it hurt or I hated the pity, but I couldn't feel. She wrapped her arms around me tightly, and it felt like it was raining, but it was only her tears on my head. I wanted to cry with her or tell her it was okay, but I did nothing.

Sakura wouldn't look at me anymore. She cried almost as much as me. She really loved you, and it wasn't some stupid obsession like all the other girls. She truly loved you. She blamed me for your disappearance. Although she never outright said it, I knew it by the way she always averted her eyes from me. And when she didn't, I felt hated, worse than any demon child. But she's alright now. She's gotten over you for the most part, though the sorrow outlining her eyes tells you another story. Ino has helped her, even loves her. Who would have seen that coming? Then again, Ino didn't love you. She was jealous of you, so she forced Sakura to notice her by becoming her rival. Heh, rivals is the way to love it seems. After all, we were once rivals.

I was always trying to compete with you, beat you and just make you acknowledge me. But I guess you were just trying to do the same. Do you remember our first real kiss? Not the one in the classroom when our lips had met accidentally. No, the one by the bridge. It was only me and you since Sakura had been sick in bed. Kakashi showed up hours later, telling us we hadthe day off. It was just me and you on that bridge, and you invited me over to your place. I almost had a heart attack that day. Uchiha Sasuke inviting the demon vessel, Uzumaki Naruto, to his house! That was absurd. But now that I think about it, it wasn't so unusual. We were best friends after all. At least... you were mine, and I always assumed I was yours.

We ended up wrestling somehow and I told you I would never lose to you, so you challenged me to prove it. Prove my worth to you and prove that I could win. So I decided to take you by surprise, not realizing I would take myself by surprise too. I kissed you. But what surprised me even more was... it wouldn't be our last kiss. Do you remember now?

I lost my virginity to you. Do you remember that time? Outside in the forest by the waterfall? After the training session was over, we decided to swim. That's when the kisses continued on, our second kiss, third kiss, fourth, fifth... It was all so easy. I felt so safe in your arms, and moaning out your name made it all so real. Our skins touching so closely and your hands holding mine. You asked me if it was okay. I wanted to laugh because I would always say yes to you and I knew it. And that day was one of my happiest ever.

Do you remember?

The days after were too much like a dream and I wonder how I deserved to be so happy. It all felt too unreal and too good for me. And I guess it was because the next thing I know, you're gone. And as Sakura had, I blamed myself. I was the closest to you and I was the only one who could have forced you away. Pushed you so far that you left. But what had I done? I can't remember a single time when you were angry enough to leave me. Maybe I'm like you and just can't remember.

But I love you all the same. Forever and always. That day when you promised me, did you hear my whisper back? I promised the same thing, and I haven't broken the promise. I'll live long and as wise as I can be. But to live happy would just be a lie. Maybe I'm selfish or maybe it's you. Maybe we're both selfish. But I'll see you again someday. And then, I'll listen to your song again. For eternity, I'll listen to you.

Because I love you.

Forever and always.

Uchiha Naruto.

OWARI

Kuu: Rawr! Umm... about the "Uchiha Naruto" end... uhhhh... well... I don't know! STOP THE INTERROGATION!

Naruto: But no one interrogated you.

Kuu: THEY WILL! JUST YOU WAIT!

Sasuke: -.-

Kuu: REVIEW, nya!