Beyond Recollection ~ A Sonny & Skye FanFiction
Chapter Eleven ~ Feelings of Betrayal
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"Sonny? Sonny what's wrong?" Carly asked softly as she cradled his head on her shoulders, his tears dampening her coat.
"I can't do it any more Carly," he moaned burying his face into the crook of her neck, breathing in her familiar scent.
"Can't do what Sonny? What's wrong?" she pleaded pulling his face towards her own.
"I can't do it anymore," he whispered as their eyes met. "I can't be who they tell me to be. I can't be the person they want me to be."
"No ones asking you to Sonny," she spoke pulling him into her arms. As they stood hugging, she let her hands roam the familiar trails of his back, smoothing and comforting his shaking form. It felt so good to have him in her arms again, she thought to herself, letting her fingers wander across his neck and through the dark curls at its base.
"Carly," he whimpered into her ear.
As she moved to place a kiss to his forehead, her eyes met the ones of the woman standing only feet away. Seeing her painful expression Carly smiled and turned her attention back to the man in her arms. She kissed him softly, letting her lips linger on his forehead longer then necessary.
"Sonny, what have they done to you?" she questioned softly moving her eyes away from the red head and to the man before her. "What has she done to you?"
"I can't do it Carly," he repeated as he framed her face with his quivering hands. "I can't pretend I don't love you. I can't forget our love, is that wrong?"
"Of course it's not Sonny," Carly spoke lovingly as she covered his hands with her own. "A love like we shared is not meant to be forgotten."
"G-d! I've missed you so much Carly," he confessed before pulling her lips to his own.
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** "Sonny," his name a whimper from her lips as she staggered backwards until her back collided with the wall behind her. She leaned her weakened frame against its cold surface for support as she watched them embrace. Tears painfully burned her eyes and face as her heart pounded against her chest, breaking as she watched him pull Carly into a deep kiss.
She frantically covered her mouth, her trembling hands suppressing the cry that escaped her lips. Breathing was difficult as sobs wrenched through her throat. She continued to stare at the scene before her, unable to tear her eyes away.
She watched now as Carly moved her hands down Sonny's chest, disappearing inside his jacket. The moan of pleasure that emitted from his lips reached Skye's ears a moment latter causing her head fall and her tears to now stain the ground as she desperately tried to hide her scream of anguish. Biting down on the flesh of her hand, she was oblivious to the taste of her own blood as her teeth broke her skin, only aware of the sounds emitted by Sonny.
Her chest constricted against her already wounded heart as she held in her breath, refusing to breathe. At that moment she longed for death-anything that could free her from the moment she was trapped in. Finally she took a breath, letting her hand fall away from her mouth as the air past through her trembling lips. Wiping the blood from her hand against the fabric of her skirt she slowly raised her eyes to the pair before her, meeting Carly's stare as Sonny attacked her neck with his mouth.
She couldn't brake away from her gaze and watched as Carly's hands pulled Sonny closer. Her head moved to the side, exposing more of her neck to Sonny. Still she would not tare her eyes from Skye's and with one last grin in her direction, she pulled Sonny's head towards her lips. With one hand pulling his head towards her mouth, she used the other to place Sonny's hand closer to her breast. It was invitation that he complied to, moving his-
Her mind screamed as she tore her eyes away and forced her legs to climb the stairs away from the docks. She couldn't stay there and watch him find the comfort and love she had been so desperate to give him. Watching was slowly killing her and the child inside her.
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Hours later, she slowly raised her head and looked through the darkness to the room surrounding her. Their bedroom, where their love had created the child inside her, seemed so cruel now as it forced memories past her closed eyes. Perched on their bed, the sheets she lay on began to burn her skin with pictures of their lovemaking and she frantically pushed herself off the bed, falling to the ground beside it with a sudden cry.
Tears of anger surfaced again as she stared down at the bed they had shared for so long. Rage and pain clouded her vision as she began to assault the bed, pulling the sheets and pillows from their neat and orderly positions and throwing them to the ground. Then with one strong pull she broke the chain hanging from her neck, throwing it to the ground beside his pillow.
Mumbling painful words of hate, she swiftly moved around the room, collecting her things and roughly pushing them into her suitcase. With tears blinding and blood pounding in her ears, Skye didn't hear the knocking on the front door, nor the footsteps on the stairs.
"Skye?"
"What?" she asked roughly as she moved from the bathroom, her arms over loaded with makeup and curling irons.
"What are you doing?" the blonde behind him asked.
"What does it look like Courtney?" She questioned as she emptied the contents of her arms onto the mattress and began to pack them into a smaller bag.
"You're leaving?" Jason asked moving toward his sister.
"I want to be gone by the time he gets home," Skye stated as her hands roughly packed her things into her bag. Anger pumping through her veins, she didn't even slow her hands as the small glass figurine Alan had given her last Christmas broke in her hands.
"Skye!" Courtney yelled as Skye continued packing, disregarding her bleeding palm.
"Skye stop!" Jason pleaded as he pulled her smaller hands into his own. "Skye, you're bleeding," he spoke softer.
"I don't care. I can't feel it anyway," she spoke harshly as she pulled her hands away.
"What happed Skye?" Jason asked as he stopped her from moving away with his hold on her shaking arms.
"I can't feel anything," she continued on, her eyes far away. "I can't feel it anymore, he broke it."
"He as in Sonny?" Jason asked, receiving a cold laugh from Skye. He looked to Courtney with worry as his sister's laughs turned to more tears.
"What did he brake Skye?" Courtney asked, coming to stand beside Jason.
"Everything. He broke my hope, our home, and my heart. He broke it all- and he doesn't even care," she stated bitterly before she finally broke down again. Falling into her brother's arms, she let her pain take over as the tears spilled over Jason's chest.
"What happened Skye?" he asked gently as he raised her chin with his hand. "How did he hurt you?"
"Why don't you ask Carly," she stammered out as she took the tissues Courtney placed in her uninjured palm.
"Carly?" they questioned.
"His with her now," she whispered taking a seat on the end on the bed.
"Oh my G-d Skye," Courtney gasped as she sat beside Skye, wrapping her arms around her friend.
"Skye are you sure?" Jason questioned softly, kneeling in front of the two women.
"I saw it with my own eyes, Jason. He kissed her, then he did more and that's just putting it mildly," Skye spoke looking down to her hands.
"I just can't believe it-"
"You don't believe me?" She pulled out of Courtney's arms.
"No! No, I'm not saying that, Skye. I know you're-"
"No, I'm sorry I snapped at you," she apologized softly. "I just can't be here anymore. I need to get us out of here."
"Us?" Courtney gently questioned as she cleaned Skye's cut with the bandage Jason had retrieved from the bathroom.
"Oh, didn't I mention I'm three weeks pregnant with Sonny's baby," she stated sadly. "I was on my way to tell him the good news. I thought that if he knew he was going to be a father, that maybe it would help him remember the plans we had made. When I found him though, he already had company."
"You should still tell him," Courtney stated. "Maybe it could still help."
"No!" Skye spoke sternly as she stepped away from the two and walked in a small semicircle around the bed. "I can't."
"But you know he wouldn't turn his back on you if he knew your were pregnant," she pleaded.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she questioned angrily before adding more calmly, "I'm not going to use my child to keep him in my life. He still loves Carly and they are obviously together now."
"But what happiness if he remembers Skye?" Courtney asked walking towards her.
"That's 'if' he ever remembers," Jason finally spoke.
"Jason! You can't say that. We have to believe that Sonny might remember one day," Courtney pleaded to the two siblings.
"Look at me Courtney! I can't remember any of the love I know I should feel for my parents! Do you know how hard that is, to look in their eyes and see the hope they have for me but not being able to do anything about it?"
They were all silent as the cloud of emotions began to settle. Courtney was sitting in the leather chair next to the bed, staring down at the chain Skye had ripped from her neck early. Jason stood motionless in front of the bed, watching Skye walk slowly towards him, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes.
"I'm sorry Jason," she spoke softly.
"It's not your fault Skye," he said as he turned to face her, pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry he can't remember how much he loved you."
"I'm sorry to," she spoke, her voice vibrating against his shoulder.
"Are you sure you want to leave?"
"I can't stay here Jason. I can't watch them-watch them together and he can't know. He can't know about my baby."
"Skye-," Courtney began to plead softly.
"I'll take you wherever you need to go," Jason interrupted.
"Thank you Jason," she spoke gently, hugging him tighter.
"Do you know where you want to go?" He asked.
"Upstate," she stated as she stepped back.
"To the cabin?" Courtney questioned. "Why would you do that to your self- again. Aren't there too many memories in those walls?"
"That's the point, I guess. I want to raise our child in the home where I started to love Sonny. That was our hidden place away from everyone, except our love ones," she added looked to Jason and then Courtney. "He brought me there to heal and right now I have a broken heart that needs healing, what better place to go?"
"You know we're going to be visiting almost every day," Courtney spoke with tears as she hugged Skye tightly. "You can't keep us away."
"I don't want to keep you out of my life or my baby's life but can you keep this from Sonny?" she asked looking to her eyes.
"What if he remembers Skye?"
"If he remembers he'll know where they are," Jason stated.
"Our time at the cabin is lost with the rest of his memories, so only when he remembers will he know," Skye explained. "Can you keep this from him Courtney? I'm sorry I'm putting you both in this position but I wouldn't unless it was important."
Courtney nodded silently, promising to not speak a word of it to Sonny.
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TBC
Chapter Eleven ~ Feelings of Betrayal
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"Sonny? Sonny what's wrong?" Carly asked softly as she cradled his head on her shoulders, his tears dampening her coat.
"I can't do it any more Carly," he moaned burying his face into the crook of her neck, breathing in her familiar scent.
"Can't do what Sonny? What's wrong?" she pleaded pulling his face towards her own.
"I can't do it anymore," he whispered as their eyes met. "I can't be who they tell me to be. I can't be the person they want me to be."
"No ones asking you to Sonny," she spoke pulling him into her arms. As they stood hugging, she let her hands roam the familiar trails of his back, smoothing and comforting his shaking form. It felt so good to have him in her arms again, she thought to herself, letting her fingers wander across his neck and through the dark curls at its base.
"Carly," he whimpered into her ear.
As she moved to place a kiss to his forehead, her eyes met the ones of the woman standing only feet away. Seeing her painful expression Carly smiled and turned her attention back to the man in her arms. She kissed him softly, letting her lips linger on his forehead longer then necessary.
"Sonny, what have they done to you?" she questioned softly moving her eyes away from the red head and to the man before her. "What has she done to you?"
"I can't do it Carly," he repeated as he framed her face with his quivering hands. "I can't pretend I don't love you. I can't forget our love, is that wrong?"
"Of course it's not Sonny," Carly spoke lovingly as she covered his hands with her own. "A love like we shared is not meant to be forgotten."
"G-d! I've missed you so much Carly," he confessed before pulling her lips to his own.
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** "Sonny," his name a whimper from her lips as she staggered backwards until her back collided with the wall behind her. She leaned her weakened frame against its cold surface for support as she watched them embrace. Tears painfully burned her eyes and face as her heart pounded against her chest, breaking as she watched him pull Carly into a deep kiss.
She frantically covered her mouth, her trembling hands suppressing the cry that escaped her lips. Breathing was difficult as sobs wrenched through her throat. She continued to stare at the scene before her, unable to tear her eyes away.
She watched now as Carly moved her hands down Sonny's chest, disappearing inside his jacket. The moan of pleasure that emitted from his lips reached Skye's ears a moment latter causing her head fall and her tears to now stain the ground as she desperately tried to hide her scream of anguish. Biting down on the flesh of her hand, she was oblivious to the taste of her own blood as her teeth broke her skin, only aware of the sounds emitted by Sonny.
Her chest constricted against her already wounded heart as she held in her breath, refusing to breathe. At that moment she longed for death-anything that could free her from the moment she was trapped in. Finally she took a breath, letting her hand fall away from her mouth as the air past through her trembling lips. Wiping the blood from her hand against the fabric of her skirt she slowly raised her eyes to the pair before her, meeting Carly's stare as Sonny attacked her neck with his mouth.
She couldn't brake away from her gaze and watched as Carly's hands pulled Sonny closer. Her head moved to the side, exposing more of her neck to Sonny. Still she would not tare her eyes from Skye's and with one last grin in her direction, she pulled Sonny's head towards her lips. With one hand pulling his head towards her mouth, she used the other to place Sonny's hand closer to her breast. It was invitation that he complied to, moving his-
Her mind screamed as she tore her eyes away and forced her legs to climb the stairs away from the docks. She couldn't stay there and watch him find the comfort and love she had been so desperate to give him. Watching was slowly killing her and the child inside her.
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Hours later, she slowly raised her head and looked through the darkness to the room surrounding her. Their bedroom, where their love had created the child inside her, seemed so cruel now as it forced memories past her closed eyes. Perched on their bed, the sheets she lay on began to burn her skin with pictures of their lovemaking and she frantically pushed herself off the bed, falling to the ground beside it with a sudden cry.
Tears of anger surfaced again as she stared down at the bed they had shared for so long. Rage and pain clouded her vision as she began to assault the bed, pulling the sheets and pillows from their neat and orderly positions and throwing them to the ground. Then with one strong pull she broke the chain hanging from her neck, throwing it to the ground beside his pillow.
Mumbling painful words of hate, she swiftly moved around the room, collecting her things and roughly pushing them into her suitcase. With tears blinding and blood pounding in her ears, Skye didn't hear the knocking on the front door, nor the footsteps on the stairs.
"Skye?"
"What?" she asked roughly as she moved from the bathroom, her arms over loaded with makeup and curling irons.
"What are you doing?" the blonde behind him asked.
"What does it look like Courtney?" She questioned as she emptied the contents of her arms onto the mattress and began to pack them into a smaller bag.
"You're leaving?" Jason asked moving toward his sister.
"I want to be gone by the time he gets home," Skye stated as her hands roughly packed her things into her bag. Anger pumping through her veins, she didn't even slow her hands as the small glass figurine Alan had given her last Christmas broke in her hands.
"Skye!" Courtney yelled as Skye continued packing, disregarding her bleeding palm.
"Skye stop!" Jason pleaded as he pulled her smaller hands into his own. "Skye, you're bleeding," he spoke softer.
"I don't care. I can't feel it anyway," she spoke harshly as she pulled her hands away.
"What happed Skye?" Jason asked as he stopped her from moving away with his hold on her shaking arms.
"I can't feel anything," she continued on, her eyes far away. "I can't feel it anymore, he broke it."
"He as in Sonny?" Jason asked, receiving a cold laugh from Skye. He looked to Courtney with worry as his sister's laughs turned to more tears.
"What did he brake Skye?" Courtney asked, coming to stand beside Jason.
"Everything. He broke my hope, our home, and my heart. He broke it all- and he doesn't even care," she stated bitterly before she finally broke down again. Falling into her brother's arms, she let her pain take over as the tears spilled over Jason's chest.
"What happened Skye?" he asked gently as he raised her chin with his hand. "How did he hurt you?"
"Why don't you ask Carly," she stammered out as she took the tissues Courtney placed in her uninjured palm.
"Carly?" they questioned.
"His with her now," she whispered taking a seat on the end on the bed.
"Oh my G-d Skye," Courtney gasped as she sat beside Skye, wrapping her arms around her friend.
"Skye are you sure?" Jason questioned softly, kneeling in front of the two women.
"I saw it with my own eyes, Jason. He kissed her, then he did more and that's just putting it mildly," Skye spoke looking down to her hands.
"I just can't believe it-"
"You don't believe me?" She pulled out of Courtney's arms.
"No! No, I'm not saying that, Skye. I know you're-"
"No, I'm sorry I snapped at you," she apologized softly. "I just can't be here anymore. I need to get us out of here."
"Us?" Courtney gently questioned as she cleaned Skye's cut with the bandage Jason had retrieved from the bathroom.
"Oh, didn't I mention I'm three weeks pregnant with Sonny's baby," she stated sadly. "I was on my way to tell him the good news. I thought that if he knew he was going to be a father, that maybe it would help him remember the plans we had made. When I found him though, he already had company."
"You should still tell him," Courtney stated. "Maybe it could still help."
"No!" Skye spoke sternly as she stepped away from the two and walked in a small semicircle around the bed. "I can't."
"But you know he wouldn't turn his back on you if he knew your were pregnant," she pleaded.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she questioned angrily before adding more calmly, "I'm not going to use my child to keep him in my life. He still loves Carly and they are obviously together now."
"But what happiness if he remembers Skye?" Courtney asked walking towards her.
"That's 'if' he ever remembers," Jason finally spoke.
"Jason! You can't say that. We have to believe that Sonny might remember one day," Courtney pleaded to the two siblings.
"Look at me Courtney! I can't remember any of the love I know I should feel for my parents! Do you know how hard that is, to look in their eyes and see the hope they have for me but not being able to do anything about it?"
They were all silent as the cloud of emotions began to settle. Courtney was sitting in the leather chair next to the bed, staring down at the chain Skye had ripped from her neck early. Jason stood motionless in front of the bed, watching Skye walk slowly towards him, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes.
"I'm sorry Jason," she spoke softly.
"It's not your fault Skye," he said as he turned to face her, pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry he can't remember how much he loved you."
"I'm sorry to," she spoke, her voice vibrating against his shoulder.
"Are you sure you want to leave?"
"I can't stay here Jason. I can't watch them-watch them together and he can't know. He can't know about my baby."
"Skye-," Courtney began to plead softly.
"I'll take you wherever you need to go," Jason interrupted.
"Thank you Jason," she spoke gently, hugging him tighter.
"Do you know where you want to go?" He asked.
"Upstate," she stated as she stepped back.
"To the cabin?" Courtney questioned. "Why would you do that to your self- again. Aren't there too many memories in those walls?"
"That's the point, I guess. I want to raise our child in the home where I started to love Sonny. That was our hidden place away from everyone, except our love ones," she added looked to Jason and then Courtney. "He brought me there to heal and right now I have a broken heart that needs healing, what better place to go?"
"You know we're going to be visiting almost every day," Courtney spoke with tears as she hugged Skye tightly. "You can't keep us away."
"I don't want to keep you out of my life or my baby's life but can you keep this from Sonny?" she asked looking to her eyes.
"What if he remembers Skye?"
"If he remembers he'll know where they are," Jason stated.
"Our time at the cabin is lost with the rest of his memories, so only when he remembers will he know," Skye explained. "Can you keep this from him Courtney? I'm sorry I'm putting you both in this position but I wouldn't unless it was important."
Courtney nodded silently, promising to not speak a word of it to Sonny.
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TBC