Disclaimer: Unfortunately not mine but are, in fact, the minions of JK
Rowling herself so don't worry, no money is being made on my behalf.
Thanks to:
Prongslet: Ah but of course, it is like a fever to me now you see. I need to be writing something otherwise I feel insignificant lol!
Hpstoryguy: Again with the blushing, well at least it doesn't clash with the pink hair now...seeing as its turned a funny watermelon colour (damn lol). It would be nice though, to be able tow write for a career (sighs) ah well, art career first, then writing lol.
Arigazi: I KNOW! 'Tyger' is going to mentioned in here don't worry because it's my favourite too! Aye, the brief mention of Cara may make some people go 'eh?' but they'll just have to read the other two wont they lol! Nah kidding, I tried to fit it in as a passing comment. AS for how this is going to be done from now on, I'll probably open the chapters in first person and then slip into third person as its more fun that way lol. I just felt that opening the entire story in first person was something different for me. I actually may jump around from third to first.
Colleen: Lmao, Aw you make me smile. I'm glad you like the other two stories and don't worry about it, I'm always forgetting to review stories so I can't blame you lol.
Lunaris: Ah thank you my dear, I'm glad I could write at least how some people imagine Remus.
Passionflower: Right well, I'd better do a one shot sometime then lol.
Kitty254781: You better believe it lol!
Elrohir Lover: Sorry, the squirrels thing is what my dad always says (squirrels-girls). And aye, on occasions though I will revert to third person unless the scene requires otherwise.
Idril.Tinuviel: I know man, I felt a little down as in the end even if I end this fic in a happy place you know that eventually they'll be torn apart. But JK said she cried as she killed him but it has to be done for some reason she will later reveal so I'm holding onto hope for there to be a damn good explanation.
Saturndragon: Ah hello, thank you so much for your comments. Hopefully this will be a success and I'm glad you liked Cara lol.
As I stated in some reviews up there I may jump from points of views, maybe sometimes I'll even take a look through Sirius's mind but for now they'll be little switches to entire scenes in third person to our lovely complex mind of the Lupin beaut! More interesting for me that way and I get to practice both methods periodically.
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Chapter 2 – We know
I'm going to jump ahead of myself now because you see my first and second year weren't all that significant to the story of me and Sirius, except that he was one of the best friends I ever had.
No this is the beginning of my fifth year...the year that my friends told me they had worked out my secret. I remember it to be early in the morning after a full moon.
(Around 1975, Hogwarts)
Remus pushed the portrait opening to the Gryffindor common room using it for leverage as he stepped over the threshold. His body was screaming in agony as his muscles and bones groaned under the effort of remaining standing.
He grunted a little but then he heard movement, of cloth on cloth, and looked up to see James and Sirius settled on the sofa, anxious expressions flitting across their features. He started a little as his mind furiously began to work to try and make up a plausible excuse for his crawling in at 6 in the morning.
"Hey." He said quietly and Sirius stood a small smile on his face as he moved over to the boy.
"Hey." He answered in turn and Remus watched him for a moment. There was something in the way that Sirius was looking at him that had him wary to the situation, especially when the taller teen manoeuvred him to the sofa, helping him sit.
The tawny boy quirked an eyebrow as his two friends remained standing in front of him, twitching ever so slightly as they contemplated their next move.
"Guys," He drew out the word as he looked up at them, "What's going on?"
The two dark haired boys looked at one another, doing that annoying Best friend mind reading thing, before they turned back to face the smaller boy on the sofa. James slowly moved to sit beside Remus as Sirius crouched down in front of him placing a hand on top of one of the tawny boys.
"We know." James said simply and Remus quirked an eyebrow.
"Know what? Is this some kind of secret code, do I have to make something up?" He joked but the two remained solemn, which was becoming very unnerving.
"Guys please, what's going on?" Remus asked and after one last shared look Sirius took a deep breath.
"We know you're a werewolf."
The silence that rang after those words was deafening. Remus's eyes went wide and his breathing began to come in short erratic gasps. He moved his mouth soundlessly as he tried to think of some explanation but all that happened was that his throat appeared to be closing up.
He couldn't breath, the air that remained in his lungs becoming sterile as he began to choke. A flash of fear flickered in Sirius's eyes as he jumped up and clutched his friend's shoulders.
"Ah shit James, We're killing him!" He pushed James off the sofa so he could lie the gasping boy down flat on his back. Then he grasped Remus's hand as James frantically looked round for something that might help.
"Remus, Remus breathe! It's ok, you're just having a panic attack." Sirius said and eventually James made a tripping run back at them with a empty Zonko's paper bag. Sirius placed it over Remus's mouth and nose where the bag moved in time with his laboured breaths.
"Come on Remus, slow deep breaths. It's ok, calm down...we don't care ok?"
Remus looked at them and finally moved his hands up to hold the bag himself. He gave a nod as the bag continued to move. The relief that flooded both boys' eyes was almost humorous as James fell onto his rear on the floor.
"Holy Merlin I think I actually swallowed my heart." He said shakily causing both Remus and Sirius to grimace.
"Nice visual there Jim." The tallest boy said as he turned back to his friend spread out on the sofa, his breathing more normal now.
"We didn't mean to almost not kill you just then." He said and Remus's eyes crinkled up as he smiled. Sirius gave a little smirk at the way his friend's face lifted into a relieved smile but gave a start when a tear rolled down the boy's cheek.
"Remus, what's wrong?" He said quickly as the tawny boy removed the bag from his face and sat up, another tear slipping down with its predecessor.
"I'm sorry," Remus said shakily as he spoke over the lump in his throat, "It's just...well, I'm not sure. I'd convinced myself that you guys...that if you knew that you'd hate me."
Both his friends grinned at him as they moved to sit either side of him. James grasped his shoulder and Sirius his knee, both squeezing it lightly in reassurance.
"We don't care Rem. You didn't care that I was a Black and that James is secretly a drag queen," at the same time James looked up with a 'hey', "And it's not like it's your fault...unless you poked the werewolf with a stick because then mister, not to sound all parental, but then you pretty much would've had it coming to you."
Remus let out a little laugh as he wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. He gave them a tremendous watery smile as they both gave him a 'manly' one-armed hug. He clasped his hands in his lap and looked down at them.
"How long have you known?" He asked as he looked back up and he even smirked, as they both looked slightly guilty.
"Since near the end of our second year." James said and the werewolf's jaw dropped.
"That long?!" He said disbelieving as he tried to maintain his exterior. Sirius nodded as he gave another squeeze.
"We weren't sure and we also needed time to develop the animagus potion so..." The black haired boy was cut off by James making sharp hissing noises as he made slashy movements at his neck trying to stop his dense friend revealing anything more. However Remus had already heard.
"What? What's the animagus potion got to do with me being a werewolf?" He asked as he turned his head back and forth between the two. Sirius appeared to be mentally beating himself up and James looked like he was going to do it for real. Eventually the bespectacled boy gave a sigh and with one last frown at his best friend he began to explain.
"Obviously when we began to suspect your condition we began to do some research," Remus nodded, that was understandable, "And we discovered that animals...well the werewolf doesn't care about them where it will seek out human flesh so an animal could easily be near a wolf without coming to any harm."
Remus nodded again. He had read about this when he had found out what had happened to him and was about to say something when suddenly pieces began to come together in his mind. Animals...Animagus...
He jumped up frantically shaking his head.
"No, no you guys can't do this! You don't know for sure that a werewolf welcomes the company of other animals!"
Sirius bounced up but the smaller boy dodged him as he continued to shake his head.
"Remus, you get torn apart ALONE once a month, put back together painfully and then you have to walk ALONE to the infirmary. Do you think we like the idea that we can easily do something for you but won't because we're too chicken shit to act upon it?"
Sirius clasped his shoulders and turned the other boy to face him once more. The look in his eyes was a helplessness that Remus had never seen before and it was this that made him stop moving.
"We can help you Remy, please."
Silence rung once more in the air until eventually something happened that no one had intended...Remus broke down.
He placed a hand to his mouth as he gave a sob and fell to his knees where he rocked lightly, tears streaming down his face. Sirius collapsed by his side where he pulled the boy to him and made soothing sounds as he cradled him.
"You're all so...so brillin..." The werewolf's voice was thick with tears and James crawled down to sit in front of the other two boys, "I can't believe..."
Sirius continued to rock them back and forth as he attempted to calm his friend. James, feeling like the third wheel, said he'd go get some food from the kitchen, as Remus must be hungry and exhausted after his transformation the other night.
Sirius helped the trembling boy upstairs where he helped him settle into his bed. He noticed Peter sleeping still in his own and quickly but quietly drew the curtains together before placing a silencing charm around the bed.
Moving back he found a red eyed Remus watching him with a small serene smile on his face. He returned it as he moved to nestle beside the other male.
"How're you feeling?" He asked as he toyed with the covers between his fingers.
"Like I've just removed a huge tumour." The werewolf said with a light chuckle as Sirius joined in. Remus smirked up at him, as the boy looked slightly uncomfortable.
"You're being all sensitive and mature about this...it's a little unnerving." The smaller boy teased causing the black haired boy to give a great bark of a laugh and he smirked down at his friend.
"Tell me about it, my inner child is very bored right now and keeps asking why is everyone so serious." They both chuckled.
"Well you're always Serious...Sirius." The werewolf joked and then laughed as the other male gave a great groan whilst falling sideways off the bed.
"Seriously, you guys have GOT to stop using that joke!" He said from the floor as Remus laughed heartily. This was how James found them.
"Ah I see we have moved away from the 'touchy feely' part and are now onto stage two of the 'act like we're men and didn't just share a precious moment.'" He pretended to wipe away a tear as he dropped a packet on Sirius's head extracting a growl form the boy.
"Such a loving memory, gone, flitted away to never be spoken of again in case our butch reputations are threatened." James gave a fake sniffle as Sirius looked pensive for a moment.
"I've just had a thought..."
"Really? It must have been very lonely." James quipped before a pillow was thrown at his head causing his hair to find new angles to stand up in.
"Ha ha. What I was GOING to say was that now you won't have to make up excuses all by yourself. I mean, 'Visiting a terminally ill aunt'? That was pretty weak Rem, and you're a Marauder...it's shameful."
Remus gave a little blush as he grinned causing James to laugh before cheering at finally finding out the opening for the food packet in his hands.
"Thank you Siri." The werewolf said sincerely and Sirius gave a little blush but covered it up with a wink.
"You don't have to do this alone anymore." The taller boy promised as he reached over and squeezed the tawny boys hand lightly.
Thanks to:
Prongslet: Ah but of course, it is like a fever to me now you see. I need to be writing something otherwise I feel insignificant lol!
Hpstoryguy: Again with the blushing, well at least it doesn't clash with the pink hair now...seeing as its turned a funny watermelon colour (damn lol). It would be nice though, to be able tow write for a career (sighs) ah well, art career first, then writing lol.
Arigazi: I KNOW! 'Tyger' is going to mentioned in here don't worry because it's my favourite too! Aye, the brief mention of Cara may make some people go 'eh?' but they'll just have to read the other two wont they lol! Nah kidding, I tried to fit it in as a passing comment. AS for how this is going to be done from now on, I'll probably open the chapters in first person and then slip into third person as its more fun that way lol. I just felt that opening the entire story in first person was something different for me. I actually may jump around from third to first.
Colleen: Lmao, Aw you make me smile. I'm glad you like the other two stories and don't worry about it, I'm always forgetting to review stories so I can't blame you lol.
Lunaris: Ah thank you my dear, I'm glad I could write at least how some people imagine Remus.
Passionflower: Right well, I'd better do a one shot sometime then lol.
Kitty254781: You better believe it lol!
Elrohir Lover: Sorry, the squirrels thing is what my dad always says (squirrels-girls). And aye, on occasions though I will revert to third person unless the scene requires otherwise.
Idril.Tinuviel: I know man, I felt a little down as in the end even if I end this fic in a happy place you know that eventually they'll be torn apart. But JK said she cried as she killed him but it has to be done for some reason she will later reveal so I'm holding onto hope for there to be a damn good explanation.
Saturndragon: Ah hello, thank you so much for your comments. Hopefully this will be a success and I'm glad you liked Cara lol.
As I stated in some reviews up there I may jump from points of views, maybe sometimes I'll even take a look through Sirius's mind but for now they'll be little switches to entire scenes in third person to our lovely complex mind of the Lupin beaut! More interesting for me that way and I get to practice both methods periodically.
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Chapter 2 – We know
I'm going to jump ahead of myself now because you see my first and second year weren't all that significant to the story of me and Sirius, except that he was one of the best friends I ever had.
No this is the beginning of my fifth year...the year that my friends told me they had worked out my secret. I remember it to be early in the morning after a full moon.
(Around 1975, Hogwarts)
Remus pushed the portrait opening to the Gryffindor common room using it for leverage as he stepped over the threshold. His body was screaming in agony as his muscles and bones groaned under the effort of remaining standing.
He grunted a little but then he heard movement, of cloth on cloth, and looked up to see James and Sirius settled on the sofa, anxious expressions flitting across their features. He started a little as his mind furiously began to work to try and make up a plausible excuse for his crawling in at 6 in the morning.
"Hey." He said quietly and Sirius stood a small smile on his face as he moved over to the boy.
"Hey." He answered in turn and Remus watched him for a moment. There was something in the way that Sirius was looking at him that had him wary to the situation, especially when the taller teen manoeuvred him to the sofa, helping him sit.
The tawny boy quirked an eyebrow as his two friends remained standing in front of him, twitching ever so slightly as they contemplated their next move.
"Guys," He drew out the word as he looked up at them, "What's going on?"
The two dark haired boys looked at one another, doing that annoying Best friend mind reading thing, before they turned back to face the smaller boy on the sofa. James slowly moved to sit beside Remus as Sirius crouched down in front of him placing a hand on top of one of the tawny boys.
"We know." James said simply and Remus quirked an eyebrow.
"Know what? Is this some kind of secret code, do I have to make something up?" He joked but the two remained solemn, which was becoming very unnerving.
"Guys please, what's going on?" Remus asked and after one last shared look Sirius took a deep breath.
"We know you're a werewolf."
The silence that rang after those words was deafening. Remus's eyes went wide and his breathing began to come in short erratic gasps. He moved his mouth soundlessly as he tried to think of some explanation but all that happened was that his throat appeared to be closing up.
He couldn't breath, the air that remained in his lungs becoming sterile as he began to choke. A flash of fear flickered in Sirius's eyes as he jumped up and clutched his friend's shoulders.
"Ah shit James, We're killing him!" He pushed James off the sofa so he could lie the gasping boy down flat on his back. Then he grasped Remus's hand as James frantically looked round for something that might help.
"Remus, Remus breathe! It's ok, you're just having a panic attack." Sirius said and eventually James made a tripping run back at them with a empty Zonko's paper bag. Sirius placed it over Remus's mouth and nose where the bag moved in time with his laboured breaths.
"Come on Remus, slow deep breaths. It's ok, calm down...we don't care ok?"
Remus looked at them and finally moved his hands up to hold the bag himself. He gave a nod as the bag continued to move. The relief that flooded both boys' eyes was almost humorous as James fell onto his rear on the floor.
"Holy Merlin I think I actually swallowed my heart." He said shakily causing both Remus and Sirius to grimace.
"Nice visual there Jim." The tallest boy said as he turned back to his friend spread out on the sofa, his breathing more normal now.
"We didn't mean to almost not kill you just then." He said and Remus's eyes crinkled up as he smiled. Sirius gave a little smirk at the way his friend's face lifted into a relieved smile but gave a start when a tear rolled down the boy's cheek.
"Remus, what's wrong?" He said quickly as the tawny boy removed the bag from his face and sat up, another tear slipping down with its predecessor.
"I'm sorry," Remus said shakily as he spoke over the lump in his throat, "It's just...well, I'm not sure. I'd convinced myself that you guys...that if you knew that you'd hate me."
Both his friends grinned at him as they moved to sit either side of him. James grasped his shoulder and Sirius his knee, both squeezing it lightly in reassurance.
"We don't care Rem. You didn't care that I was a Black and that James is secretly a drag queen," at the same time James looked up with a 'hey', "And it's not like it's your fault...unless you poked the werewolf with a stick because then mister, not to sound all parental, but then you pretty much would've had it coming to you."
Remus let out a little laugh as he wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. He gave them a tremendous watery smile as they both gave him a 'manly' one-armed hug. He clasped his hands in his lap and looked down at them.
"How long have you known?" He asked as he looked back up and he even smirked, as they both looked slightly guilty.
"Since near the end of our second year." James said and the werewolf's jaw dropped.
"That long?!" He said disbelieving as he tried to maintain his exterior. Sirius nodded as he gave another squeeze.
"We weren't sure and we also needed time to develop the animagus potion so..." The black haired boy was cut off by James making sharp hissing noises as he made slashy movements at his neck trying to stop his dense friend revealing anything more. However Remus had already heard.
"What? What's the animagus potion got to do with me being a werewolf?" He asked as he turned his head back and forth between the two. Sirius appeared to be mentally beating himself up and James looked like he was going to do it for real. Eventually the bespectacled boy gave a sigh and with one last frown at his best friend he began to explain.
"Obviously when we began to suspect your condition we began to do some research," Remus nodded, that was understandable, "And we discovered that animals...well the werewolf doesn't care about them where it will seek out human flesh so an animal could easily be near a wolf without coming to any harm."
Remus nodded again. He had read about this when he had found out what had happened to him and was about to say something when suddenly pieces began to come together in his mind. Animals...Animagus...
He jumped up frantically shaking his head.
"No, no you guys can't do this! You don't know for sure that a werewolf welcomes the company of other animals!"
Sirius bounced up but the smaller boy dodged him as he continued to shake his head.
"Remus, you get torn apart ALONE once a month, put back together painfully and then you have to walk ALONE to the infirmary. Do you think we like the idea that we can easily do something for you but won't because we're too chicken shit to act upon it?"
Sirius clasped his shoulders and turned the other boy to face him once more. The look in his eyes was a helplessness that Remus had never seen before and it was this that made him stop moving.
"We can help you Remy, please."
Silence rung once more in the air until eventually something happened that no one had intended...Remus broke down.
He placed a hand to his mouth as he gave a sob and fell to his knees where he rocked lightly, tears streaming down his face. Sirius collapsed by his side where he pulled the boy to him and made soothing sounds as he cradled him.
"You're all so...so brillin..." The werewolf's voice was thick with tears and James crawled down to sit in front of the other two boys, "I can't believe..."
Sirius continued to rock them back and forth as he attempted to calm his friend. James, feeling like the third wheel, said he'd go get some food from the kitchen, as Remus must be hungry and exhausted after his transformation the other night.
Sirius helped the trembling boy upstairs where he helped him settle into his bed. He noticed Peter sleeping still in his own and quickly but quietly drew the curtains together before placing a silencing charm around the bed.
Moving back he found a red eyed Remus watching him with a small serene smile on his face. He returned it as he moved to nestle beside the other male.
"How're you feeling?" He asked as he toyed with the covers between his fingers.
"Like I've just removed a huge tumour." The werewolf said with a light chuckle as Sirius joined in. Remus smirked up at him, as the boy looked slightly uncomfortable.
"You're being all sensitive and mature about this...it's a little unnerving." The smaller boy teased causing the black haired boy to give a great bark of a laugh and he smirked down at his friend.
"Tell me about it, my inner child is very bored right now and keeps asking why is everyone so serious." They both chuckled.
"Well you're always Serious...Sirius." The werewolf joked and then laughed as the other male gave a great groan whilst falling sideways off the bed.
"Seriously, you guys have GOT to stop using that joke!" He said from the floor as Remus laughed heartily. This was how James found them.
"Ah I see we have moved away from the 'touchy feely' part and are now onto stage two of the 'act like we're men and didn't just share a precious moment.'" He pretended to wipe away a tear as he dropped a packet on Sirius's head extracting a growl form the boy.
"Such a loving memory, gone, flitted away to never be spoken of again in case our butch reputations are threatened." James gave a fake sniffle as Sirius looked pensive for a moment.
"I've just had a thought..."
"Really? It must have been very lonely." James quipped before a pillow was thrown at his head causing his hair to find new angles to stand up in.
"Ha ha. What I was GOING to say was that now you won't have to make up excuses all by yourself. I mean, 'Visiting a terminally ill aunt'? That was pretty weak Rem, and you're a Marauder...it's shameful."
Remus gave a little blush as he grinned causing James to laugh before cheering at finally finding out the opening for the food packet in his hands.
"Thank you Siri." The werewolf said sincerely and Sirius gave a little blush but covered it up with a wink.
"You don't have to do this alone anymore." The taller boy promised as he reached over and squeezed the tawny boys hand lightly.