All of a sudden I felt like saying something at the beginning of my fanfics, so here goes. I am Kaberu-chan, I am insane. The end of each chapter will have commentary by my split personalities. The first is the one in the story; Kaberu-chan. Kaberu-chan is a pervert…lol…

The next one is Kaberu-kun. Kaberu-kun likes to beat guys up, and gets annoyed easily.

Lastly is Kaberu-nyo. Kaberu-nyo is cute and fuzzy and brain-dead…

The Cards of Death

"Please don't kill me, Odion! Please don't kill me!" Kaberu-chan screamed.

"I will kill you if you do not write Ishizu into the story." Odion says grimly.

"Ahh, don't let him kill me!" Kaberu-chan seeks refuge behind Marik.

"So then, it's like that? I will leave you to Master Marik's dark side." Odion says, feigning kindness. Then he walks away.

Marik has turned evil and glares down at Kaberu-chan.

"If you write the story so that I obtain the three Egyptian God Cards I will spare you."

"Sure, I can do that…" Kaberu-chan's terrified chibi form says.

Bakura has decided to join the trend and has turned evil. " You will give me the seven Millennium Items."

Five minutes later

Kaberu-chan addresses the entire cast. " Hey let's play cards! First place winner gets the Egyptian god cards, and second place gets the seven millennium items!"

"But we don't have cards, you idiot!" Duke, Tristan, Yusuke, Joey, and Kuwabara all yell.

" Easy, we'll use duel monsters cards. Everyone, gimme your decks." Kaberu-chan says, holding out her hands.

Five minute later (again)

"Okie dokie, Korebo is the ace, Saggi the Dark Clown is the two, and The Flaming Swordsman is the three-"

"Hey, he should be higher!" Joey yells.

"Shut it. Anyway, Harpy Lady is the four," Mai scowls, "Blue Eyes White Dragon is the five," Kaiba shakes a fist; Kaberu-chan took them from him, "Red Eyes is the six," Joey smiles, "Dark Magician Girl is the seven, Dark Magician is the eight, Time Wizard is the nine, Slifer the Sky Dragon is the jack, Obelisk the Tormentor is the queen, and The Winged Dragon of Ra is the king. Let's play!"

Sixty minutes later

Kaberu-chan kyaas; she has all three Egyptian god cards in her hand. "Ha, I have all three Egyptian god cards! I shall rule the world!"

"But can you read the script on them?" Kaiba sneers.

"Um,no…"

"Remember our agreement?" evil Marik leans over to Kaberu-chan and hisses in her ear.

"Ahh, please don't kill me!" Kaberu-chan quickly discards her hand.

Sixty minutes later (again)

"And big surprise, Marik is first place and Bakura is second! Okay guys, hand over your Millennium Items and Egyptian God Cards!" Kaberu-chan yells.

" Wait, you aren't serious, are you?" Yugi asks desperately.

"Sorry dude, self preservation. Hand over your stuff."

"Hiei, let's continue work on that hypnosis machine, we will rule soon." Hiei and Kaiba walk off to a dark corner.

Odion walks in and witnesses the horror of evil Marik with all three Egyptian god cards and evil Bakura with all 7 Millennium Items. "Sigh. I was hoping it could be avoided, but I see I am going to have to kill you."

"I'll fix it, I promise!" Kaberu-chan yells desperately. She hastily writes Odion into a locked room all on his own.

"Now," turns to evil Marik and Bakura,"If you don't use those items to do my bidding I'll write them away from you."

"And what is your bidding?" they both ask simultaneously. Evil Bakura starts to get a strangled look on his face. "You, these aren't all of the items! The Millennium Necklace is missing!"

Kaberu-chan looks desperately around. "Oh no! Ishizu must have seen the future and-"

The Egyptian God Cards and Millennium Items disappear from evil Marik and Bakura and return to their owners.

"That is enough, do you want the world to end?" Ishizu says.

"Ugh, how dare you use your millennium item to defy my powers as the almighty author! I was going to use my boy-slaves to kill my homeroom teacher! And my algebra teacher! And loads of other people!" Kaberu-chan yells desperately.

Odion has been freed and is glaring intimidatingly.

" Okay, okay, I won't let them destroy the world. I'll stop giving evil guys supreme power. Just don't kill me! Oh, and please return to me my powers as supreme author, or this chapter will never end."

Marik and Bakura turn back to normal.

"Aww man, normal Bakura isn't hot! Oh well, Marik, let's make love." Kaberu-chan grabs hold of Marik's arm, but is immobilized, as she notices Odion has borrowed Hiei's katana and is holding to her neck.

"Um, never mind, I'll be good…"

Kaberu-chan: Yay, the first chapter is done! Maybe in the next one I can write you two in so that all three of us can jump on the bishonen!

Kaberu-nyo: Yeah! That's a great idea, Kaberu-, Kaberu-… Kyaa! I can't tell who's who!

Kaberu-kun: That's because you're an idiot. Come to think of it, you're both idiots. I'm the only one here who can fight, but you two think it'd be okay to go attack all of them? I can't beat that many guys on my own, morons…

Kaberu-chan: Fine, we'll do that in a different chapter… please don't be scared away by how freaky we are! PLEASE READ! PLEASE REVIEW!