A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed: you guys are the best, you really made my day. Okay, I got to warn you about this chapter though. The last pretty much stuck to the movie, but this one definitely doesn't. I hope you think it's as funny as the last one.

Chapter Two: In Which Christine Loses Both Her Breath and Her Temper

To recap: they were plummeting.

Christine shrieked and clutched at the Phantom. He was going to kill them both! Just because she had ripped away his mask, thus revealing his hideously disfigured face to the elite of Paris and betraying him to her noble suitor and the police, was no reason for him to kill them both!

Then, inexplicably, they were in a stone corridor in the cellar. Christine was not sure how they had gotten there without breaking their legs, smashing their heads, or at least spraining their ankles. She must have blacked out or something.

But she didn't have much time to think about that, because the Phantom had grabbed her wrist and was pulling her along. They were going quite fast, and Christine began gasping for breath. Besides being disoriented, her corset didn't allow for this kind of strenuous exercise. She tried to pull her wrist away, but he was too strong.

Finally they reached his lair via a different passage than the one they normally used. At least this one didn't go through the lake, Christine thought. She was absolutely certain being dragged at breakneck speed through water in a corset would have killed her. He stopped and she took the opportunity to kick him sharply in the ankle. He gasped and let go of her wrist; she slumped against the wall, trying to catch her breath. The Phantom spun to face her, clearly incensed, "Why?"

After a few wheezing false starts, she managed to answer, "Why did I kick you in the ankle, or why did I rip off your mask?"

He paused, and then said, "Both."

She held up her wrist. The mask was still dangling from it. "I didn't rip it off on purpose. It got caught on this stupid bracelet. I was going to kiss you."

He deflated a bit, "Oh. But what about the ankle?"

She had caught her breath, so she pushed away from the wall, "You drop me two stories off a stage and drag me willy-nilly down here! First I about have a heart attack and then I can't breathe! You deserve a black eye!"

Now he looked disconcerted. Then a thought occurred to him, "You were going to kiss me? What about Raoul? What about the trap you two cooked up between you?"

"The trap was all Raoul's great idea," they both snorted at this description of the plan before she continued, "And Raoul and me? Ancient history. You are my choice. Now," she leaned towards him, "I'm going to go change into this lovely wedding dress you got me, my costume is rather torn."

She collected the dress and went off to change. When she came back the Phantom was pacing back and forth, running a hand through his hair. He stopped at the sight of her, "Christine, are you sure about this? Can you bear to live with an eternity of this," he gestured towards his face, "before your eyes?"

Great, the Phantom of the Opera was getting cold feet. What the man didn't realize was that the deformity only covered half his face. The other half was the epitome of manly sexiness, and there was certainly nothing wrong with his body! Christine's eyes began to glaze over at the thought of getting to look at him everyday for the rest of her life.

But before she could become coherent enough to reassure him, there was a noise from the lake. It was Raoul, looking thoroughly wet and miserable as he splashed through the water.

"Raoul!" Christine gasped.

The Phantom grabbed her arm, "So this is your game, Christine. You sought to delay me until your lover came to your rescue!"

Christine stuttered, "No! I—"

The Phantom's grip tightened, "It was all a lie, wasn't it? You never were going to choose me!"

Christine frantically tried to repair the situation, "No! I didn't want him to come!"

From behind the grate, Raoul yelled, "Let her go, you monster!"

Christine whirled on him, "You aren't helping any!" Then an idea occurred to her, "I mean… Alas! Raoul, it is too dangerous for you to save me. You might be killed, and then my soul would pine forever! You should leave. Now."

Unfortunately, Raoul was much too gallant to listen to her ploy. To Christine's dismay, he continued to yell, "No, Christine! I will rescue you! Phantom let her go!"

Even more to her dismay, the Phantom seemed to think that her speech meant that she really wanted to go with Raoul. He was scowling at her, and there was a gleam in his eye that she didn't like. This was confirmed when he shoved her away and pulled the lever that raised the grate. Raoul entered warily, and the grate lowered behind him again.

Alarm bells began to go off in her head as the Phantom stalked towards Raoul. Definitely not good.

"Wait," Christine called, but it was too late. The Phantom had Raoul tied to the grate with a noose around his neck before Raoul could react.

The Phantom turned towards her, "So here is your choice, my dear. Stay with me forever, or leave and I'll kill him."

Raoul gasped out, "NO, Christine! Forgive me, please forgive me. I was just trying to save you."

Beside him the Phantom continued to threaten both of them. Christine shook her head as she listened to them continue to shout, neither one paying the slightest bit of attention to each other, or her for that matter. She massaged her forehead. "Why are you doing this to me?" she muttered.

In front of her, Raoul had finally shut up, and the Phantom finished with, "So either way you choose you cannot win!"

Christine's head jerked up, what was he talking about? This seemed like a win-win situation to her. Either she picked the man she wanted to pick in the first place, or she could pretend not to want him, let him strangle Raoul, then change her mind and pick him anyway. After all, if Raoul escaped he would certainly return with reinforcements…

Christine shook her head; she was beginning to think as crazy as them! Maybe the air in this lair encouraged theatrics… She glared at the two men before her. They were both staring at her, waiting for her to decide. "You bloody idiots," she muttered.

The Phantom's face hardened, "You try my patience, make your choice!" To demonstrate, he tugged on the rope, causing Raoul to choke and turn purple.

Christine sighed, if the Phantom felt he had to force her choose him, he wouldn't believe she wanted to stay with him anyway. She would have to show him then.

Squaring her shoulders in determination and lifting her skirts so she wouldn't trip, Christine entered the lake and walked towards the Phantom. She noticed for the first time that his coat had vanished and that, for some reason, his shirt was unbuttoned almost to his waist. He certainly looked attractive, despite his general dishevelment and unmasked state. As she got closer she noticed that he was extremely tense.

Hardly pausing, Christine threw herself against his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck, and sending him toppling back into the lake, her on top of him.

He sat up, sputtering, "What are you doing?"

"I told you before, I'm trying to kiss you."

"So you have to tackle me?"

She straightened indignantly, releasing his neck, "I was not tackling you! I was throwing myself into your arms. You were supposed to catch me!"

"Well if you'd give me some warning next time—" but before he got any farther Christine wrapped her arms around his neck again and kissed him hard on the lips. His arms came around her, and they both tumbled back into the water.

This time they both came up sputtering. The Phantom looked at her in wonder, "Christine, what… does this mean…" He came to a stop, unable to continue.

Christine hugged him tighter, "It means I'm staying with you. You asked me to choose, and I did!"

But before anything else could happen, Christine heard Raoul yelling, "Christine! You can't be serious!"

She replying without looking at him, "I'm serious Raoul. There is nothing between you and me. Now go away!" Then she returned to the serious business of kissing the Phantom.

"Christine!"

Really irritated now, Christine snapped, "What!"

"I—uh—I can't leave. I'm still tied to this bloody grate!"

Christine sighed, she had forgotten that detail, and reluctantly got up. The Phantom seemed almost dazed, and didn't move. She walked over to Raoul, "If I untie you, you'll leave?"

"He didn't answer, and she glared at him. Finally he mumbled, "Yes."

"And you won't come back?"

"Alright."

"And you won't tell anyone else where we are, or how to get here?"

Another hesitation, another death glare.

"Fine!"

Satisfied, she untied him and raised the grate. As he was leaving, she called out, "Meg Giry thinks you're really hot!"

He turned around and looked at her incredulously, "What?"

"Meg Giry. She has a crush on you."

He shook his head and turned around, "You're all loony…"

Shrugging, Christine turned back around. The Phantom was standing up, looking at her with gleaming eyes.

Christine walked towards him, "Now, where were we?" She lunged at him again, but this time he caught her and whirled her around in the air. She laughed, "You're learning…"