Chapter Nine: A Scuffle Between Elves

In the wild, Frodo was moaning pathetically while Sam hovered over him constantly, which was a severe violation of personal space. "Mr. Frodo! Mr. Frodo!"

"What!" snapped Frodo. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm dying here!"

Sam pointed an excitedly shaking finger at something on the ground. "Troll dolls!" And sure enough, there was a twisted puddle of melted, tan-colored plastic.

"Trolls dolls?" Frodo scoffed. "You're concerning me with some dead troll dolls? I'm going to sleep." He closed his eyes and was soon snoring softly.

"Troll dolls?" Rangerdude asked. He went over to where Sam was pointing. "The sun must have melted their ugly plastic bodies."

"Mr. Bilbo's troll dolls!" Sam shrieked excitedly. He grabbed Bill the pony and the two of them did a happy dance around the plastic puddle.

"Sam, quit dancing!" Rangerdude ordered. "Here, you Magical Hobs, take these torches in case the Wraiths come."

Pippin eagerly grabbed a torch. "FIRE! Hahaha!" He excitedly waved it around in the air, and several sparks jumped from it.

"Okay, bad idea," said Rangerdude. He snatched Pippin's torch away.

Pippin was on the verge of tears. "That was mine! Hey, a chipmunk!" He suddenly looked happy and chased after the animal.

"What a weirdo," Rangerdude muttered. "Hey Sam, get some athelas!"

"Atha-what!" said Sam, confused.

"Athelas!"

"What in the name of the Gaffer's cabbages is athelas!"

"Honestly, don't you know anything?"

"Apparently not."

"Well have you heard of kingsfoil!" Rangerdude asked.

Suddenly some annoying lady from Minas Tirith popped out of nowhere, screamed, "THE HANDS OF THE KING ARE THE HANDS OF A HEALER!" and disappeared.

Sam suddenly brightened. "Kingsfoil, aye, it's a weed."

Merry's head perked up. "Did somebody just mention weed?"

Pippin, who had captured the chipmunk and was now teaching it to do back flips, cried, "Weed! Where!"

"Not that kind of weed, morons!" Rangerdude yelled.

"Oh, darn," Merry said. He then stared at his torch, mesmerized by the orangeness of it. "Carrots are orange!" he announced. He took a carrot out of his pocket and sat it on top of his torch. The carrot suddenly burned up and disintegrated. "Why must carrots always die!"

"You are one crazy little Magical Hob," Rangerdude told Merry. Merry was too busy being distracted by his torch and made no reply.

"Goody, I found athelas!" cried Rangerdude, holding up the leaves proudly. "I really didn't need to send Sam to look for it, but I did it anyway as an excuse to get rid of him!"

Suddenly, the thundering of hoof beats could be heard. Rangerdude and the Magical Hobs turned to look, and saw two horses come galloping towards them. One of the horses, a white one, was slightly ahead, and an elf woman dismounted and ran towards Rangerdude.

"Arwen?" Rangerdude cried in surprise.

"I've come for Frodo! My father wants to heal-" A hand suddenly shoved her away, and another elf stood in her place. "Where is Frodo?" Glorfindel asked.

Rangerdude stared at both of them. "I'm confused."

"That's alright," Arwen said sweetly. "Just give me the Magical Hob and everything will be fine."

"Don't listen to her!" Glorfindel screamed. "She stole my horse and is now trying to steal Frodo!"

Rangerdude looked at the elf woman in shock. "Arwen! I'm surprised at you!"

"It's true!" Glorfindel cried hysterically.

Arwen gave a maniacal laugh. "Well, so what if it's true? I'm taking Frodo and there is nothing you can do about it!" She walked towards the wounded Magical Hob, and was about to wake him, when suddenly Glorfindel pounced on her knocked and her to the ground.

"You can't hit a girl!" Arwen cried. She punched Glorfindel and tried to get away.

"Yes I can!" yelled Glorfindel. He grabbed her again and soon the two of them were involved in a rather violent fight.

Frodo opened his eyes and stared at the viciously brawling elves in shock. "I suppose I'll just have to get myself to Rivendell!" He tiredly got to his feet and trotted away in the direction of Rivendell.

Glorfindel looked around and saw no sign of Frodo. "He's gotten away! I must rescue him!" He got on Asfaloth and took off after the Magical Hob.

"Not if I rescue him first!" growled Arwen. She mounted the other horse and chased after Glorfindel.

Rangerdude had watched the whole entire thing with interest. "I hope poor Frodo manages to escape the clutches of both of them."

Sam came back from his search for the athelas. "Okay, I've got it-" He looked wildly around. "Hey, where'd Mr. Frodo go? MR. FRODO!" he ran around in circles like an idiot, screaming for Frodo.

"Imbecile..." muttered Rangerdude.

Frodo, meanwhile, was still running through the woods and becoming more and more exhausted. He suddenly heard the sound of horses coming up behind him. "Oh no! It must be Tater Wraiths!" he assumed, and forced himself to put on an extra burst of speed.

"Oh no, Frodo's getting even farther away!" Glorfindel moaned, as he saw Frodo speed up ahead of him.

"And I'm getting farther ahead of you!" Arwen yelled, as she pulled her horse up alongside his.

"You're not getting Frodo!" Glorfindel yelled. He whispered to Asfaloth and the horse went faster, leaving Arwen slightly behind once more.

Frodo's strength at last gave out and he collapsed on the ground unconscious. A few moments later, Glorfindel sprang from his horse and rushed to his side. "Frodo?" He picked up the Magical Hob and the two of them were seated on Asfaloth. Glorfindel was about to ride away when Arwen suddenly arrived.

"Give up the halfling, elf!" she demanded.

"Never!"

"Then I'll take him by force!" She prepared to charge her horse at Glorfindel.

Suddenly, Elrond came running outside. "What in the world are you two doing! You're acting like a pair of wild children!"

Arwen looked down at the ground. "Um, hello Ada!"

Elrond scowled at her and glared at Glorfindel. "Give the Magical Hob to me." Glorfindel quickly handed Frodo over and Elrond took him indoors.

Glorfindel looked at Arwen haughtily. "You never got Frodo! Haha!"

"Well you didn't get him either."

"Yes I did! I had him for approximately eight seconds!"

"That doesn't count. You have to have had him for at least one minute!"

Glorfindel looked annoyed. "Well you still never even got to touch him! So I won!" He smiled triumphantly and rode away on Asfaloth.

Arwen watched him go with a scowl on her face. "I lost. I'm a loser!" She nudged her horse to a trot. "Well at least Rangerdude will comfort me! I hope." She rode off into the wild.

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