All mixed up
If Claire was quiet the entire ride home from Gungellan no one noticed as Tess was only too eager to share the details of her night with Alex with the other girls in the truck. As Tess recounted the kiss and some of what happened next, Claire counted the yellow dashes on the road to pass the time and to keep her mind occupied.
'I can't believe I didn't know they were into each other.' Claire scolded herself in disbelief. When Tess and Alex appeared last night at the bar, both her and Nick had been shocked when they left to spend the night together.
Jodi was skeptical too of Alex and Tess's newfound relationship. "I didn't know you liked Alex, Tess." She commented curiously. They seemed an unlikely match. Everyone knew that Claire and Nick were supposed to marry, but those close to the McLeod's and Ryan's knew how close Alex and Claire were. Jodi couldn't imagine them being with anyone else, though they were both too stubborn to admit it, she thought. Besides she could have sworn Nick had a thing for Tess.
"What's not to like?" Tess answered with a giggle, interrupting Jodi's thoughts. Tess sighed as she thought of the tall, dark and very muscular man.
Claire was more than relieved when they pulled into the driveway of Drover's Run. The others mistook her eagerness to get out of the truth to missing the farm, when actually she desperately needed some time to herself. Saddling up her favorite horse, she galloped away before Tess could tell her Alex and Nick were coming for dinner.
Claire and Blaze meandered throughout Drover's Run and ended up at her father's grave, where she always went to get her thoughts together. "I can't compete with Tess." Claire said with a sigh. " I don't want to compete with Tess." She admitted slowly. "They're just so different." She said aloud as she thought about Tess and Alex. It was rare moments like these that Claire wished she had had a mother or at least a woman's influence in her life. She felt uncomfortable sharing any of her feelings with Meg; she didn't want to rock the boat. If Alex and Tess were happy, who was she or Nick to stop them? And who was to say that Alex was the absolute one and only for her? She remembered why she didn't bother thinking about boys too much; it took more effort than she wanted to give.
Alex kept up a steady stream of conversation on the way home with Nick. He rambled on and on about Tess, not noticing that Nick was not paying any attention. "Tess invited us for dinner." Alex's statement snapped Nick out of his thoughts. 'Great.' He muttered to himself. Just what he wanted to do, watch Alex and Tess all throughout dinner. He was tempted to feign some sort of illness or pretend to be tired but he felt bad leaving Claire to deal with the new couple herself so he resolved to go and keep her company. The two-hour drive seemed an eternity to the younger Ryan who was not at all looking forward to dinner.
All eyes were on the couple as the group sat down to dinner. "Looks great Meg." Nick said kindly.
"You look great too." Alex murmured in Tess's ear, loud enough for Nick and Claire, who were sitting across from them, to hear.
'How am I supposed to eat with all the PDA (public displays of affection) going on at the table?' Claire fumed as she pushed her meal around her plate. When Alex started feeding Tess, that was the last straw as she pushed away from the table and excused herself.
"Claire?" Meg called out in concern as the brunette made her way to the door. "I don't feel well, I need some air." She explained quickly and made her escape. Nick jumped up to follow after her. "I'll go." He said as he left to see if she was okay.
Claire had gone quite a ways so he hurried to catch up with her. "Wait up!" He shouted to get her attention. She turned to look and waited for him. "What are you doing out here?" She questioned as the two continued walking.
"What, did you think I wanted to be in there any more than you did?" He asked with a laugh, trying to make her smile.
As she looked at him, she recognized her own pain mirrored in his eyes and took the branch of friendship he was offering. Though they had grown up together they had never been close. It had always been Alex and Claire. Nick hadn't wanted to be a tag along so he made his own friends. He thought it would be Alex and Claire for always. Now it didn't seem so certain.
"It was quite disgusting." She commented wryly breaking the ice and Nick laughed. As they chatted the two realized how much they didn't really know each other. But they had one thing in common: they were in love with people who weren't in love with them.
The next few days were a blur as Claire worked from before sunrise to after sunset, barely stopping to eat, even going without food some days. Tess was hardly around as she rolled in early in the morning. She managed to keep with her chores but was never around when Claire needed extra help, which is why Claire was still out shoveling hay at 6 o'clock in the evening. Granted it wasn't urgent, but she didn't have any desire to subject herself to dinner with Alex and Tess either, as he hadn't been able to tear himself away from her side for very long.
As the sun finally set and the sky turned dark did Claire go home. "I left some dinner for you Claire." Meg offered her, but she turned it down.
"No thanks Meg. I'm going to shower and bed." She replied with a tired smile. Meg watched as she went upstairs, trying to figure out what was troubling that girl.
"Hi Meg. Is Claire about?" Nick asked as he found his way into the kitchen. Claire heard his voice and reluctantly came to see what he wanted. "What is it Nick? I want to go to bed." Claire asked as she came down the stairs, and Meg slipped away unnoticed.
"I want to talk." He answered. Claire rolled her eyes as she turned to go to bed. She didn't have the energy or the desire to talk.
"I've got beer." He offered and she agreed to sit with him on the porch. "How are you?" he asked gently. "I'm fine." She insisted, not wanting to be forced into sharing her thoughts.
"You look like you've been working hard." He said taking in her worn appearance. He had noticed that she had worked late the last three nights and missing dinner. "So?" She answered defensively. Obviously she wasn't going to talk about it. He wished he had Alex's ability to get through to this stubborn woman.
"If we're going to talk about me, I'm going to bed." Claire informed him steadfastly. "Fine." He gave in to her stubbornness. They sat in pensive silence as they drank their beers. He decided if she wasn't going to talk, then she could listen. He needed to find some answers to the confusion and pain in his own heart. She was the only one who would understand.
"When did things become so complicated?" Nick surmised thoughtfully. "I mean one day I swore Tess and I had a connection and the next she's dating my brother." He confided to Claire.
Their conversation drifted through the open window to where Jodi sat studying. She couldn't help but overhear their conversation, and was very surprised at what they were saying.
"I know Nick. Why couldn't we just fall in love and get married like we're supposed to? It would be so much easier." Claire admitted.
"And be like my parents? No thank you." Nick declared in disgust. "It might be easier, but it wouldn't make us happier." He cautioned wisely. "No one can tell you who to fall in love with."
He continued. "I always thought you and Alex would get together." He admitted, hoping she wouldn't slug him for saying that.
Claire decided to indulge him. If he could tell her his secrets, she could share hers with him as well. Over the last few days she had gotten to know Nick Ryan a lot better and was glad he was around. "I did too." She revealed surprisingly. "I guess I took our friendship for granted, thought it would always be the two of us. I never suspected he had a thing for Tess." She gave him a sad smile.
"Nor did I. And he's my brother." Nick chided himself for not seeing it more clearly. "Well what do we do now?" He asked her, completely baffled at the course of action they should take.
"What can we do?" she protested. "It's not up to us. Obviously they don't feel the same way about us as we do them."
"This sucks." Nick muttered sadly. "True." Claire agreed and raised her bottle to his as they spent the rest of the night talking and drinking.
"Take care of yourself Claire." Nick rebuked her gently. "I'll be gone for a few weeks on business."
"Have a good trip Nick." She said sincerely as she watched him leave. What was she going to do without him for the next few weeks? 'Hopefully not go insane.' She thought sarcastically as she finally made her way to bed.