All mixed up
Chapter 3: confessions
The sound of his own footsteps echoed through the sterile, empty hallway. He could feel his heart racing anxiously as he went to see Claire. He was genuinely worried, and horribly concerned about her well-being.
"Nick?" The doctor surmised as the young man arrived outside of Claire's door. Though the door was shut, the curtains in the window were not, allowing Nick a chance to observe her. Tubes and wires ran from different places in her body, monitors keeping track of vital signs he had probably never heard of.
"How is she?" Nick questioned as he shook hands with the doctor. Obviously, things were not going as well as he had hoped.
"For starters, she's extremely dehydrated and exhausted. Not to mention a temperature of 103 degrees. We've got her on intravenous fluids to keep her hydrated and cool her down." Dr. Lewis explained patiently.
"Is it serious?" Nick asked quietly as a myriad of emotions washed over him. Anger at his brother and Tess for their inconsideration, worry about Claire and her condition, fear of what would happen to them all if something did happen to the older McLeod.
"Serious enough to keep her in a drug induced coma to give her body time to heal. It's been neglected for a few weeks now." He informed him regrettably. "She's a lucky lady though, she sustained almost no injuries except a few bruises and scrapes from when she fell on the fence." He continued on with his report.
"How long will she be here?" Nick asked as his mind raced as to what would happen after she left the hospital.
"We'll see how she responds in the morning and then we can set a time table for her to go home." Dr. Lewis decided thoughtfully.
He noticed the tense look on Nick's face. "Nick, If you have any concerns please let me know." He said to encourage the young man to open up and confide in him.
One look at her lying there so broken quenched any of his doubts or fears about speaking up. For Claire's sake, Nick did answer the doctor's question. "Well, I know she won't be able to rest at home. She'll be worried about her farm and the work getting done. She hates being dependent on others. Besides, I know that she's been under a lot of stress the last few weeks, and being at home wont' help any." He admitted quietly.
"It looks like she isn't the only one under a lot of stress." Dr. Lewis observed as the two men talked about alternative arrangements. "She's fortunate to have someone like you to look after her."
"Can I see her?" Nick inquired hopefully. The doctor opened the door in reply. Nick forced himself inside the door, hating the painful silence of the room. Nonetheless, he found himself a chair and sat by her side.
All at once, memories of his time spent in the hospital flooded his memory. He had never been the same ever since the accident. Physically, emotionally, nothing. His relationship with Alex had gone from mediocre at best, to strained now. He sighed as he wished he knew how to fix their relationship, but the latest mess between Alex and Tess, he didn't know if it would be able to be salvaged. Nick knew that Tess and Claire's relationship was a lot less tumultuous than the Ryan brothers, but he prayed that this incident wouldn't hinder them in any way. In a rare moment of optimism, Nick actually hoped that this incident would clear all the problems away and let them all focus on the future.
A half hour passed without his knowing it, and nick decided to go share the news with the others and let them have their chance to visit Claire, knowing they wouldn't get a chance for the next two weeks. He'd be damned if they thought they would interrupt her time to recover.
"Nick." Meg called out as soon as he reentered the waiting room. "How is she?" Tess added quietly.
"She's dehydrated and exhausted, not to mention a fever of 103 degrees." Nick remarked somberly, most of his anger dissipating after his visit with Claire. Weariness now replaced the anger.
"Is she awake? Can we see her?" Alex demanded impatiently, wanting, needing to see Claire.
"She's asleep. They put her in a drug induced coma until tomorrow." Replied his brother quietly.
"Is she in pain?" Jodi spoke up worried. "No Jodi, her body is just too tired. Claire needs a break." Nick replied kindly, trying to reassure the young girl.
"When can she come home?" Meg questioned, her mind already working to make preparations for Claire's return.
"When she's completely rested." He replied vaguely, not knowing how to break the news to them that she wasn't coming home right away. As much as he was angry with them for neglecting Claire, he didn't want to hurt them needlessly. Despite all that happened, he knew they cared for her deeply, and how guilty they felt.
"How long will that be?" Alex asked in confusion, as the others waited for Nick's reply.
"At least two weeks." Nick clarified quietly, hoping they would agree to his plan without confrontation. Either way, Claire was going to stay with him, but he hoped it would go smoothly, and that the others would let him have his way.
"Two weeks." Tess repeated in disbelief. The room was quiet as they finally realized how serious Claire's condition was.
"She'll be in the hospital that long?" Becky questioned in shock.
"No, She's coming to stay at Wilgul with me until she's better." He announced in a sure, determined voice that no one could argue with.
"Can we see her?" Tess repeated Alex's question, desperate to see her sister. "Follow me." Dr. Lewis guided her down the hallway.
"Jodi, Becky why don't you come and get some coffee with us." Terry suggested, sensing that the two brothers needed some time alone. Meg was grateful for his presence and for taking control. Usually she was the one in charge, but this was one situation she was not prepared to handle.
"Thanks for taking care of Claire, Nick." Alex said gratefully.
"Someone needs to." Was all his brother said as he continued to pace the hall waiting for Tess to come back. "I know." Alex agreed quickly. The soft sounds of the clock ticking, and the squeaking of nurse's shoes echoed between the two brothers.
The older Ryan was determined to break the silence. "Listen Nick. I didn't know…" He began hesitantly, hoping he could get his brother to listen.
"Didn't know what Alex?" Nick replied harshly, finally turning to face him.
Alex knew he deserved his brother's anger. "I didn't know she was in trouble. I should have, but I didn't. I admit it." He said sadly.
He hesitated before continuing on. "I didn't know you love Tess. Why did you let me go on and on like a fool? I never would have gone there if I knew." Alex protested quietly.
"Really?" Nick said in disbelief. "Nothing's stopped you before." He commented on the frequent loves of Alex Ryan. While his older brother tended to be more reckless with his relationships, choosing quantity over quality, Nick was the opposite. He was more cautious with his heart, and rarely dated. "Besides, it's not my decision. It's not like Tess liked me or anything." Nick admitted softly.
"She loves you!" Alex practically shouted. "I don't know why I didn't see it." He chastised himself. "That's why we broke up. She loves you, and I love Claire." Alex confessed to his brother.
"You broke up?" Nick repeated in shock. He had been resigned to living a life without Tess, and knew how broken Claire was at the thought of losing Alex.
"What am I going to do? I can't live without her." Alex broke down as he fell into a nearby chair, the emotions of the day overwhelming him. Nick had a moment of compassion for his older brother, as the flame of hope started to grow that everything would be okay.
"I'm sorry Claire." She whispered as she stared at her older sister. Immense guilt plagued the younger McLeod. She decided to go with full disclosure regardless of the fact that Claire wasn't awake.
"I didn't mean to hurt you. I honestly had no idea that you had feelings for Alex. Why didn't you tell me?" She questioned in confusion, wishing she knew the answer. "Maybe you did try to tell me. I admit I've been a whole lot of selfish lately." Tess added as she thought about her actions the last few days. She hadn't thought anything was wrong with Claire, though she should have known. She had gone days without seeing her. "I should have known." But nothing alarmed her more than the sight of her sister's unconscious body slumped against Nick's as he furiously raced across the property to his Ute and to the hospital.
"I promise I'll be a better sister as soon as you're better. You'll see." Tess swore as the minutes went by and the sounds of the machines keeping her alive haunted her. "I won't cause you any more pain." The last statement broke Tess's spirit, as she started sobbing.
Completely overwhelmed, Tess left her sister's room, wiping the tears out of her eyes. It had scared her to no end to see Claire like that. The Ryan brothers turned when she reentered the waiting room.
"Tess?" Alex called out to the distraught girl. "I need to be alone." She informed them as she walked away.
Nick hated to see Tess so upset, but he could not, would not place her needs or his before Claire's. He was sorry for her, but at that moment he didn't give a damn about Tess or Alex's feelings. Regardless of how it could end, there was still the matter of getting there. There was a lot of pain of his and Claire's part to be sorted through, before they could handle being in a relationship with either Tess or Alex.
"I've known this girl for twenty years. I've never seen her like this before." Meg admitted as she and Terry sat close to Claire's bed.
"She's strong." Terry reminded her gently as he comforted the older woman with his presence and the warmth of his hand in hers. "I know." Meg agreed watching over the woman she had raised since she was a child.
"I wish I had paid more attention." Meg scolded herself. "It's not your fault." Terry begged her to understand.
"Than why is she here? It's not Claire's fault." Meg protested fiercely. "She's been through far more than she deserves. Growing up without a mother, losing her father, running the ranch, finding her sister, Peter, Tess and Alex…" She listed the sadness that Claire had endured over the years.
"It's nobody's fault." Terry declared, forcing Meg to look away from Claire to look at him, pleading with her to believe him. He hated seeing the look of blame he saw in her eyes. "But maybe it will work for good. It made Tess and Alex realize where their true feelings lie."
"Maybe." Meg agreed slowly. The two spent the next few minutes in silence, praying for Claire and the whole situation.
The hospital room got a lot smaller once Alex Ryan stepped into it. His large room blocked much of the doorway as he hesitated to go in.
"I'm no good in crises Claire, you know that." He admitted as he paced the room too disturbed by the sight of her to sit down. IT all seemed too real. She was pale and motionless, looking not like the Claire McLeod he grew up with.
"You've always been the strong one." He paused restless. "For me. For everyone. We could have lost you today. I'm sorry I've been such an idiot." He confessed to her still form.
"You've always teased me about all the women I've dated. Well the truth is I always compared them to you. I never realized until now that what I wanted, needed was you. We've both been too stubborn for our own good, but I'm not about to let you get away again.
"For so long I've been hiding behind this whole macho façade, pretending like nothing could ever hurt me. And today seeing you here, and seeing you being carried away by Nick, crumbled away every last brick of that wall. It was like having a piece of me being ripped away. I've never felt such pain in my whole life." Alex finished his speech as tears fell down his cheeks. He gently kissed her cheek and brushed a strand of brown hair away from her face.
Alex gladly accepted the cup of coffee Becky offered him as he sat back down in the waiting room.
"The doctor said she might leave tomorrow?" Meg inquired of Nick. "They're going to do some tests and see how she responds." Nick replied.
"You'll call me with updates." Alex confirmed with his brother. Nick couldn't deny his request; he had never seen his brother so broken. Nick knew that Alex's feelings for Claire were real, and genuinely hoped it would work out for the two of them.
"You've got to get better Claire. We need you." Becky pleaded with the older woman that she respected so much.
"Yeah. "Jodi agreed with her best friend. "Alex needs you." She stated more specifically. They had passed him in the hallway and she thought he looked more weary and older that she had ever seen him. She knew he was taking Claire's accident badly. She vowed to talk with him later knowing Tess and Nick were in no condition to do so.