Dear Isabella,
How are you? Such an every day question isn't it. And such a petty way to start when we haven't seen each other for over three years. But I guess I just didn't know where to start.
Maybe you've herd of me. Of my new life, new career, my three solo CDs: Goodbye, One Confession, and Memory Lane. Maybe you know of the drinking and partying. Maybe you know of the relationships with random girls that start out of no where just to end up at no where in less then two months. Maybe you know about the house in LA, the apartment in New York, the vacation house in Hawaii, and the black Mercedes. But those things only matter so much. To you they would. You're practical… I'm a foolish romantic. Maybe that's why it lasted as long as it did and ended as soon as it did.
Some things haven't changed. I still like beer more then wine. I still wear my ties really loose. Remember how it always drove you crazy but it was the one thing I absolutely refused to change? I still wear pants dark jeans. I still wear the button down colored shirts and unbutton the first four or so buttons. But the one thing that really maters that hasn't changed is the way I still think of you every night before I go to sleep.
I confess. I've tried to shut you out and forget you as much as I could after I came to the US. I was afraid that if I didn't pretend that you were just a dream hat I would go crazy. I've been alright. No necessarily happy but alright.
I've been wondering about you lately though. Do you still almost always wear green? So you still like Ozone. What about that actress you wanted to look like when I fist met you? Do you still sing or have you gone into acting? You know I haven't herd much about you. If you still sing then what kind of music? Do you still use that perfume that I loved so much? Have you moved? And f yes where?
These are such pathetic questions. But I've always tried not to think about the deeper ones. Do you have some one new? Are you in love with some guy that doesn't deserve you? Do you ever think of me? Have you missed me?
I know I miss you. I might have burned our pictures, notes, and letters, erased your email, and forgotten your phone number but I could never get rid of the memory of you. You meant to much to me. I guess it's sinful for a guy who has the world at his feet to be unhappy but I am.
I'm not expecting a reply. I don't know if this letter will reach you. But…before you rip this up, or burn it, or shove it carelessly into some dark corner ask yourself this question: Are you happy? I mean really truly happy. Or are you just living a lie like I am right now?
I love you forever (no mater how much you resent it)
Paolo