Only You Can Save Me

Pairings RXS and any others I think of…randomly

Disclaimer: Don't own it wish I did though.

Warning: Contains self-mutilation.

CH: 2 I'm falling again.

POV: Sora

My old room still seems the same, four off white walls with random stains on them from past adventures. As I step closer to the walls I can see the place in the lower right hand corner where I carved my initials with my crown necklace points. It only seems like yesterday when I did it, but so much has happened since I was a child. All the pain I went through and all the sorrow I went through almost makes it seem like it never happened but, it is still there like a beacon that I was a child here, a child who was happy. Not much has changed says a voice from the door. You know Sora if you ever want to talk I am here for you, we made this move for you, all I want is your happiness. Thanks mom I say, walking slowly towards the open window. You know you should go find those kids you used to hang out with and see if they all still live here. Thanks Mom, I think I might do that. As she leaves the room I wonder why my mother always says I am here for you, when it seems like she is thousands of miles away. I don't see how I can trust her when she brings me back here. To a place most of me never wanted to see again because he was here. I never wanted for him to see me as I am now, all scared and broken as I am. I don't think there will ever be a way for me to be ok again. What I mean is I am far too gone, but impossible things are happening every day so you never know. I wonder all those times I wanted to give up I saw his eye. Those two neon green orbs of peace and serenity calling me back to a world of pain. Those eyes are my comfort and my pain. At times I don't think I can survive with out them and then they are what keep me here when all I want to do is leave this world. It's kind of funny that I want to die again. That's right again. I died by being hit by car, but paramedics were able to save me after a few minutes. At the time I saw it as a blessing but know I can't help but long for deaths oblivion especially when I can't find reason, reason to keep living. Sometimes it is easier than others but I can't help long for the release the knife brings, as it glides over my flesh I have something else to think about and can get away from my hell. I want to make the next time my final time but another reason I am bound here is my mother. Even though sometimes I can't stand her I don't want to leave her alone, alone to fend for herself. I also stood by her through during dad's death and I don't think she could take another. I know she still misses him. I can hear her cry out his name at night For ever reminding me that it was my fault. Yeah that's right my fathers dead because of me. If I hadn't of been chasing my new ball across the street he wouldn't of have to run in front of the car trying to save me. A lot of good it did him, for I still died. I think sometime my mom wishes it were me that died and my dad that was saved but he was killed on impact because of some sort of blood clot in his brain. They said even without the crash he probably would have died in a few weeks but it was still my fault…. I need it now. I need my release. The release only my knife can give me.

Flash Back

Mommy, where did daddy go?

He went to be with the angels Sora.

Why

Because it was his time.

Ohh. Mommy when will it be my time?

Not for a long time Sora.

END FB

I push the knife into my skin this time hard enough to penetrate it. I need this because it was my fault. I need to feel the pain of what I did. I need to let go and be free of this body to be nothingness, but once more as I am on my way the two green orbs surface bringing me back. I slowly get up and make my way to the bathroom. I put my arm under the faucet and watch the water takes on a pink tinge, just like last time, Just like every time. I wonder when it will be the last time I do this, when will I finally not care. The only answer I get is silence, which is what I expected.

POV: Riku

She told me to go right up, that Sora was in his room unpacking. I slowly made my way up, but on my way I heard a commotion in the bathroom, and paused turning to it. After a second or to I steeled my resolve to go in. As I opened the door just a crack I could see Sora bent over the sink washing blood off his arm. That's when I figured Sora had changed, and it wasn't a good one.

AV: Ok sorry to leave you there but it is late and I am tired.

Alec: Yeah Right. (Hit with random pair of socks) Hey

Lynx: You asked for it.

AV: Yep you did now I want to send thanks out to PyroFirePower and angel of light and darkness16 for reviewing my story. You are awesome.

Alec: Yeah you made her day

Lynx: Yep you did

AV: Okay I guess that's all till next time. Review… a couple times. They make me write faster knowing more people want to know what's going on. Okay that's all Amas Veritas.