Only You Can Save Me
Ch 3.
Pairing: RXS
Warning: contains self-mutilation, and
Drug Use
REVISED I PUT MORE SPACES BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS IN
Sorry for all who tried to read but couldn't because of how the paragraphs were,
and I only had about five min. before I had to run off to a game so it still needs a
little more work. I will do the other chapters later, so if you want to go back and
read them you can now. I will try to do this to future chapters, and I would like to
thank FFS for bringing this to my attention.
POV: Riku
I watch Sora stick his arm under the faucet. It tints the falling water to a pinkish color that cascades downward. I try and move away from the door but I find that I am glued to my spot. In some sick fascination of what is happening and what will happen next.
The next thing Sora does is to grab a belt and loop it around his arm and pull it taught. I don't understand what he's doing. The next thing I see Sora do is take out what I believe to be a syringe of sort. He sticks it in his arm waits a minute and then pushes what was ever in the syringe into his body. Maybe Sora is sick and he's giving himself some medicine. Yeah that sounds like a good reason, but a small voice in the back of my mind shouts it isn't, but when do I ever listen to that.
Slowly Sora gets up and cleans the mess he made. Once he had finished doing that he starts shedding his clothing and I decided that was the time to make my self known. I tap on the door and pause as I see him not even pause or make a recognition that a noise has come from behind him. I tap louder almost banging on the door that is still only partly opened. He still doesn't make any sign of recognition of a noise. I push open the door slowly, as not to startle him if he noticed it opening but he is still fiddling with the belt on his arm with his back to me.
I place my hand on his shoulder and I see him visibly flinch. He turns his head and I finally see recognition in his eyes, but then his eyes turn dark. Almost to a mid-night blue and for the first time I am scared of Sora. He mumbles something about it being to soon for the eyes but now I think Sora might be delusional. Must be a side affect from the medicine he's taking.
" Hey Sora, welcome back" I say putting on one of my brightest smiles reserved for my family and my best friend.
"Are you real" he replies.
I take a step back and get a better look at him. He is panting, and it seems that there is a small coating of perspiration covering Sora's body like he is very hot. Yeah Sora, I am real I say. A minute or two passes with Sora and I just starring at each other. I decide to break the silence by saying I missed him and moving the few feet from each other to enfold him in a hug.
Suddenly I feel Sora's hands on my back moving in soothing circles, and then I feel his breath on my neck. Sora what are you doing I say the pitch of my voice deepening a little. Giving us what we want he says before covering my mouth with his in a searing kiss.
His mouth feels soft and smooth just like I thought it would. I feel his tongue slip slowly across my lips in a silent plea. I open my mouth to Sora and he starts to gently massage my tongue with his. I try and form some coherent thought but Soras hands have moved lower into my shorts holding me against him.
Suddenly Sora pushes me up against a wall and raises me up while still maintaining our kiss. I can feel Sora slowly start to grind into me and I can't but help let out small noises of pleasure. One of Soras hand reaches around and starts to massage my thigh. As soon this little make out session started it stops, as we both here Soras mother start here ascent up the stairs.
He lowers me down to the floor and grabs his shirt he discarded from before. As he puts it on we can hear the footsteps of his approaching mother. Soras arm had stopped bleeding a little while ago but there is a red stain on his shirt that is noticeable so, he grabs a towel and covers his arm. I wonder why he was doing this. He probably cut himself opening one of the boxes but I wouldn't want my mother to see me hurt either.
As the form of Soras mother appears in the door way she scans us with her critical mother's eye. "
What's going on up hear"." I thought I heard noises" she says. I was about to reply, but Sora beat me to it.
"Where were just messing around unpacking my things". She gives him a doubting look but none the less buys it for now.
She then turns to me and asks me if I will be staying for dinner. I say no, that I probably should be heading home now anyway. She accepts this and proceeds back down stairs. I turn to Sora and ask him if I will see him tomorrow and he says sure. I tell him bye and turn myself towards the door.
I get about three steps to the door when I feel his hand on my shoulder. I slowly turn around, he moves up and gives me one last kiss and says yeah tomorrow and exits the bathroom leaving me with my thoughts.
POV: Sora
I think I started to use drugs about two years after I started cutting. I was at a party when someone offered them to me. I had heard a lot about drugs mostly about there side affects but I also heard of the escape it gave. I wanted it. I wanted it more than anything else I had ever wanted something in this live, except death.
The first thing I had tried was heroin. After that first time that's all I ever took. It took seconds to take effect but when it did it felt like you were flying. All of your problems disappeared, and you knew every one you cared for was ok. Nothing mattered when I was on a fix. Even those bewitching eyes couldn't take hold until about an hour or two after I first inject. I knew of the side affect of taking heroin but I was always careful. Even though a voice in my head whispered it would be ok to just take a little more.
Sometimes I just wanted to give in and take a little more but I knew there would never be enough to satisfy me one day. I often thought of over dose but decided I should suffer for what I did to my father, by getting him killed. As I look back on my trips I can't help but feel discussed with my self at times. Questions like why I am so weak go by in my mind and I realize I have no answers but only excuses.
When I first combined cutting and heroin together it was a high I have never experienced before, and all I knew was that it gave me an escape for hours. It gave me the freedom from my body while still feeling the pain I deserve. I have yet to find something so liberating, except… when I was kissing him. After I injected I felt the drugs take over and then there he was like so many times before except today it was real. At least I think it was. My mind is so screwed up now I can't tell what real from what's… not.
That few minutes that we were kissing I felt more alive then I have in a long time. It was an even higher high then the drugs and cutting but I know it can never happen again. I am to dirty for him, and I don't think there will ever be a way for me to become clean ever again. Sometimes I like to sit and think of the time I was innocent, but reality always has a way of breaking through my little day dream. It brings me back to a live that I don't want that's full of pain and regret but, that's history I guess.
As I sit on my bed I think of how he has changed. His hair is longer now about half way down his back. His face is still beautiful and refined, although it has become a little more chiseled over the years. He still has those same eyes, just as I have remembered them. I hear a knock at my door and know it's my mother.
I am still partially on my high and am in no condition to talk to her, but all I hear is dinners in five minutes and her retreating foot steps. I think she knows what I do. She always knows, and when she asked about it for some reason I couldn't lie to her. She wants me to come to her with my problems on my own, but I can't. I know I can't. She couldn't handle my problems even though she says she can.
I love my mother. She's the only person who didn't leave, unlike my father, my grandparents and him. I sent him so many postcards for year, but I never got anything in return. No notes, postcards, pictures or letters. It killed a small part of my heart. I think I loved him, but I always figure that I was young, and didn't know any better.
I decide to go down stairs and face my mother, and as I start to get up I hear a noise at the window. I don't remember opening it. I make my way towards it and shut it when I feel the presence of someone behind me. Hello Sora I hear before a blinding pain in my skull.
AV: Hi. Okay let me first say I am horrible for not updating and second I am sorry. I left it with a cliff hanger for to long, and I hated writers that did that.
Alec: Yep she odes
Lynx: I agree
AV: (looks suspiciously at muses)
Muses: What
AV: Why are you agreeing?
Alec: Because if we argue it looks bad to the reviewers.
Lynx: AKA you give us cookies so we agree.
AV: Ok what ever works. Speaking of reviewers I would like to extend my thanks to angel of light and darkness16, Jade Higurashi, DancingMistress, PyroFirePower, and kmwsweetness.
Alec: Your reviews were much appreciated.
Lynx: Yep
AV: Okay sorry about lack of updating please review. I will have the next chapter out sooner and remember the more reviews show me how many people are interested, so they make me write faster. That's all. Amas Veritas.