IFD: Volunteer Division
By Nolitari
A/N: This a little ficlet that I lost when my piece of junk computer crashed, and I thought I would re-write it. It used to be called 'Flames of the Chicken Dance' and if I continue this little work of fiction, that will be the name of the first chapter. This may be short. And it may not have anything to do with Volunteer Firemen...yet. If I want to continue, it will.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. (sniffle) Sad, isn't it?
On with the fic!
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
3:42 AM
I am staring at that wicked stack of paperwork. I know I should be sleeping at this moment, but...there was a minor, how should I say...a minor distraction this afternoon, thus, taking me away from my work. Someone has to finish it, and that someone is me.
And I should be doing paperwork instead of writing in my journal. Oh well.
Lov- I mean, Signed,
Elrond
1:36 PM The Previous Day
"DIE YOU MUFFINS!" Everyone in the Last Homely House could hear an elf's failing attempts at making muffins. That said elf was Lord Erestor. Since the cook was currently on another 'misadventure' Erestor had to make his own muffins. The substitue head cook had yelled at the said lord to make his precious confectionaries.
"Is that 15 tablespoons of sugar or 15 teaspoons?" Erestor asked the air. And since air cannot speak, he recieved no reply. He decided on 15 tablespoons of sugar, when the actual mesurment was 2 teaspoons with a smudge next to it. The elf also added 8 eggs (which was supposed to be 3) to the mixure he had conjured up in the wooden bowl.
Since advisors do not particularily know how cook well, and perhaps his brain was clouded at the moment, Erestor put the bowl in the fireplace. It didn't help much that bowl was wooden. As soon as wood made contact with flame, the whole bowl was engulfed in a brilliant orange. Sadly, Erestor was still holding onto the bowl as it caught on fire. In his surprise, Erestor didn't drop the bowl quick enough and his hands got slightly burned.
Erestor snapped back to reality and dropped the bowl on the stone floor, which was unfortunatly near a wooden crate that contained hickory chips (you never knew when the cook would want to grill). The flames eagerly ate the wood up, and started on the slow burning hickory chips.
The elf-lord advisor at the moment was thrashing his arms around like a crazed chicken and running in small, tight circles. "AHHHH!" He screamed (like a terrified elf maiden) when fire crept to his robes' hem.
1:38 PM, the same day in Elrond's study
Screams could be heard from the kitchens. If it were any other day, the lord of Rivendell might have been stricken with worry. But it wasn't any other day, because all the elves and hobbits that caused trouble in the kitchen were either busy or away. No one would think of stepping foot in the cook's territory.
But one elf wasn't busy or away.
Erestor.
The elf had a very, very odd addiction to poppy seed muffins, and when the cook left for her latest 'adventure', the other cooks wouldn't make them. That got Erestor mad, so he resorted to baking them himself (at least, that is the rumor Elrond heard). Everyone knew that Erestor couldn't bake.
Now you could smell smoke.
'Oh, Valar! What has Erestor done?' Elrond thought frantically as he raced for the kitchens. From under the closed door you could see a bright orange glow. Fire!
The half-elf tried the doorknob, but it wouldn't turn.
Plates were breaking now.
The door was either locked or jammed...but the kitchen doors' lock was broken weeks ago, and hadn't been fixed yet. So it was jammed.
1...2...3...Elrond ran into the door to bust it down.
Again!
Before the elf-lord could get the door opened, the IFD came rushing down the hall with a firehose.
The IFD was the newly organized fire department. The cheif was Lord Glorfindel, and his three firemen were Haldir (he had recently gotten fired from marchwarden duties in Lorien, and then came to Rivendell and signed up for the volunteer divsion of the IFD), and his two brothers, Orophin and Rumil. The only reason Imladris now had a fire department was of the recent fires at residents' homes. So there was an arsonist on the loose.
Elrond watched in horror as Glorfindel and Haldir chopped the door down with an ax. That door was old. Very old. Poor tree! The poor door was broken down now, swinging on one hinge. Elrond ran in ahead of the IFD, and saw Erestor doing a very interesting dance. It resembled the chicken dance somewhat.
"Erestor!"
The elven advisor stopped his little dance (which was unsuccessfully stopping the flames on his robes) and stared at Elrond. RivendelI's lord tried to pull Erestor away from the flames...BUT...
...the IFD unleashed the hose on them, instead of the fire.
"GLORFINDEL!" Someone said. The firemen couldn't tell if it was Elrond or Erestor.
"Opps!" Glorfindel had a flame retardent hairnet on his golden hair that slipped over his eyes. You wouldn't want his beautiful locks to get burned, now would you?
The three firemen and their cheif redirected the spray of water on the flames. Within a matter of seconds, the mess that Erestor caused was out.
Erestor's hair looked even more rediculous (the porridge incident) and yet another one of his favourite robes was ruined. He had also put the Last Homely House's kitchen into upheaveal.
Elrond was NOT happy. In a matter of mere minutes his kitchens were ruined...yet again.
That day had started out bad, from terrible, to even worse. Along with a few pounding headaches.
Erestor still had a question.
"Elrond?"
"Yes?"
"We've run out of poppy seed."
TBC?
A/N: What did everyone think? Well, if you review I'll know. (hint, hint) If you choose to flame (bad you!) at least do it signed in. (sigh) Do you know how cowardly it is to do it when not signed in? I'll leave you to answer that question.