IFD: Volunteer Division
By Nolitari
A/N: Oh fine, I'll tell you, Lindele (hint: she's actually reviewing!) why Lindir didn't climb the tree himself.
Well, actually, Glorfindel is somewhat afraid of fire, but he has too much of that 'Elvish Pride' to admit it. (I almost put 'Evilish Pride' instead. I do think we are bad influences on each other)
(Sniffle) I think this will be the last chapter of IFD: Volunteer Division. Maybe one more chapter...but I highly doubt it.
Here's chapter 4!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. (sniffle) Sad, isn't it? Wait...I own the IFD! HA! In your face, Tolkien!
o-o-o-o-o
Elrond had just been wringing his hair out when a loud "LORD ELROND" ripped through the air. What now? He didn't even get a few moments peace to get changed! Plus, that stack of paperwork had his name written all over it, someone had to do it.
the Elven-lord stuck his head out of his bed chamber's window. He saw the most interesting sight...
Glorfindel, a Balrog Slayer, was curled up in a ball as kittens were playing with his hair. One kitten that looked exactly like Elrohir's long dead precious Killer started to rip at Glorfindel's braids. Ouch.
Lindir was trying to collect all of his cats off of the terrified fire cheif, which wasn't an easy task. The kittens kept jumping out of Lindir's arms and back onto Glorfindel. The felines must have a strong attraction to blond hair, Elrond figured.
Haldir was trying to help Lindir collect the kittens, but they were failing. Soon Glorfindel had a head of...cats.
o-o-o-o-o
'These cats are terrorizing me! They keep playing with my braids. My poor, poor hair. I do believe that it will fall out soon. That one kitten looks like Killer...Oh my, SOMEONE HELP ME! I know I look absolutly rediculous weak and all, but I can't help it! Why was it me that had to take care of Killer? Erestor could have.
Oh wonderful. I have a head of cats!'
o-o-o-o-o
Haldir was desperatly pulling the cats away from Glorfindel. If he would have known that Glorfindel was afraid of cats, then he would have never called him to help with Lindir's cats.
Actually, if Lindir didn't have a fear of hights, then he could have gotten his precious felines himself.
But, Lindir was only a harpist.
Oh, never mind him. They had to get the 'domesticated felines' away.
Meanwhile, Elrond finshed changing out of his soaked robes. In his haste to get down to the gardens, he had stuffed his sopping robes in with the dry robes. Oh well.
Glorfindel was now rocking back and fourth, his thoughts ashamed at his behaviour. How could he help it if a few fuzzy kittens brought him to his knees? It wasn't his fault. Oh no, it was Elrohir's fault. All Elrohir's fault. If Glorfindel hadn't been stuck with that possessed cat in the first place, then this scene that was unfolding in Imladris's gardens would have never happened.
The gray cat - who was called Smokey - had the exact same personality as Killer. That scared Glorfindel halfway to Mandos...again.
Elrond finally got to the gardens. When he got to the three, he had and idea on how to get all the cats away from the Balrog slayer.
Dogs.
But where to get a few dogs? There weren't any dogs in the Last Homely House, especially since the twins were allergic to them. Hm. But, in the past Elrond discovered dogs were the quickest way to rid a house of annoying felines. The problem was, where to get one?
o-o-o-o-o
"Awww, look! A starving dog! Lets keep him."
"No way. You know we can't. Everyone will hate us if we drag it home with us."
"It isn't an 'it', it is a 'he'."
"Whatever! But really, how do you seriously think we can get a dog into the house? You know we'll be sneezing hysterics long before then."
"So?"
"You are hopeless, Elrohir. Ya know it?"
"Of course." Elrohir gasps in sudden realization.
"What?"
"We can name the dog Fin! Short for Glorfindel!"
"Do you think Glorfindel will...appriciate that?"
"Of course not."
"We can't keep the dog! Ada will fly through the roof!"
"So?"
"Is that your word for the day?"
"What if it is?"
"You are acting like an elfling."
"So are you."
"Oh shut up."
"Hey, 'Dan!"
"What?"
"Fin is coming over to us!"
"Goodie..." Sneeze.
"'Dan, are you catching a cold?"
"It's the dog, you dolt!"
"Oh. Well, I used to be allergic to them. I guess I'm not anymore!"
The twins - well, Elrohir - decided to take the odd mahogany dog home with them. Elladan sped up, not wishing to sneeze halfway to Valinor, and he hopped into a nearby tree, watching his brother and the mutt go by.
Elrohir chose to take the route through the gardens, that his father was least likely to be.
Well, not today in this case.
Elrohir saw Chief (or Lord) Glorfindel in a fetal position, at the mercy of fuzzy felines. He knew that the Vanyar didn't like cats, but little did he know he liked dogs even worse.
Lindir started to scream when his kittens ran off, as he did also, with Haldir chasing after him.
Fin broke loose of Elrohir's grip ('Ro had a very handy coil of rope with him) and started to chase after the kittens, who screeched in terror. "FIN! COME BACK!"
Glorfindel shouted a very interesting string of words when the dog started licking his face. "I HATE DOGS!"
"Elrohir, where did you get that dog?" Elrond questioned with the eyebrow of doom.
"Um, I found him."
"And you named him...?"
"Fin. I thought he looked like Glorfindel."
Glorfindel grimaced in disgust. He was COMPARED TO A DOG! That was the worst insult he had been given in thousands of years. Now calming down after the cat incident, a fuming fire cheif started to chase after the younger twin.
"YOU ARE GOING TO PAY!" 'For all the humilliation. First the cat, now a dog, now you say I LOOK like a dog. I promise to make your passing slow and painful.'
o-o-o-o-o
And that, my journal, is how I was 'distracted' this afternoon, and that is why I am doing paperwork at the crack of dawn. Well, before I fall asleep in my inkwell, I shall finish this off.
Signed,
Lord Elrond
And that was how the IFD saved the day. Elrohir learned a lesson in Glorfindel and animals and Erestor learned he could not bake. And Lindir finally overcame his fear of hights...
The End.