I don't own Jess or Jill and Allan and I doubt that I ever will.

This short fic just happened because I had a touch of writer's block, and needed a little fun. Then when I saw this section i thought I might as well add to your numbers.

Don't judge me, I don't know where it came from, and as it's my one and only "Missing" fic I don't know the standard of it.

If you're going to read, then please take the time to review!

That Mulder/Scully Relationship

Surely it shouldn't be that easy? I mean, seriously.

There I was, in a white van, with blacked out windows and I wasn't even in Special Agents' Johnson and Smith's federal custody.

I mean, that trick was so simple to pull. As if I never knew the feds were still surveilling me. Yeah, right.

I wondered if they knew that I knew they were there.

My knocking on their windows and waving as I passed may have been a big clue.

You'd think even the FBI would be able to work that one out.

Of course, the trouble with these FBI Agents to their superiors, is that, contrary to popular belief, they are not robots.

They do actually need to abandon the stake out from time to time to get coffee, or go to the bathroom or whatever.

So I may have...taken my chance. I just thought I'd drop them a visit, it had been a while since I last waved (I had figured that people who were supposed to be secretly following me might appreciate it if they thought it was still a secret. Sort of gives their jobs a meaning.)

So when they left the Fed-mobile (So inconspicuous it was blatantly obvious, but I'd never tell that to Jill and Allan, it would hurt their feelings.)

I snuck inside. Hey, they're Special Agents, they could have at least lock the doors.

I mean, they're lucky it was me and not a dangerous criminal with a grudge against the expert markswoman.

I was going to surprise them, just say hi, maybe ask if I could have some cake (I had spotted them walking into the bakery earlier. Hehehe, who was the covert surveiller now? )

Perhaps it was pretty juvenile of me to hide behind the seats to try and make them jump a little when I spoke, possibly even pull their guns on me in surprise, but hey. It's not like Rob was there for me to impress or anything. Anyway, it's not like they haven't tried to get me before.

What they suggested about Douglas, around Amber's death, just to worry me. Now that was low.

The interaction that did happen when they finally got back in the van was not what I was expecting.

I mean, the two people you've always secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) wanted to get together, you don't expect them to suddenly start kissing, particularly when they're meant to be watching you. Of course, little did they know I was watching them.

But there they were, having a full-blown make-out session. Surely that's a breach of protocol or something. Unprofessional, maybe. Romantic and sweet, definitely. Even though he was married.

But when they eventually broke apart, I couldn't exactly jump out and shout "Surprise!".

Or even try to sneak out the back of the van. They'd hear me.

But I didn't exactly want to hear one of their private conversations either.

"Allan, you have to tell her." Jill reminded him gently.

Allan sighed and looked uncomfortable. "I know."

She took a deep breath and continued.

"If you really mean everything that you've said to me, then it isn't fair on Heather to continue."

I realised that Heather must have been the name of Agent Johnson's wife.

"Of course I meant it." he replied, and from what I could hear, he kissed her again.

Also, from what I could hear in the tone of his voice he really did mean it.

It was around that point I realised that they weren't going to stop there. Ew. okay, so they made a cute couple, and as much as I can complain about them, I liked them. But still, ew. That was one thing I can still live without seeing.

They looked pretty preoccupied, so I managed to slip out the back doors. But I stopped because I heard my name.

"This isn't because of Jess's Mulder/Scully clichés, is it?" Jill asked, a little breathlessly.

"Nothing to do with Jessica. Just our natural Mulder/Scully relationship." he told her.

She laughed. She truly has a wonderful laugh. I always thought it was a shame that he never had the same sense of humour as she did.

But in the time I've known them, he has told a few funny(ish) jokes.

Then I slipped out.

Admittedly, a little freaked, but strangely contented.

I mean, things like that only happen in cute and beautifully written M/S fan fictions by someone like FayetheShipper.

Possibly content because my X-Files comments had something to do with it.

I decided that the next time I saw Special Agent Johnson, I'd tell him to take her to a nice hotel room next time.

He may be a bit confused, but he may just take my advice. Possibly just think it was a psychic side-effect.

After all, he'd obviously moved on Jill because I pointed out the sexual tension between them, and he was obviously confused about the way I'd phrased it.

Obviously neither of them had ever seen an episode in their lives.

I mean, come on. They never even knew who the Smoking Man was!

The End