FBD- I would like to thank all of you for your devotion. Usually it's just my friends that like the shit I come up with. I feel honored that there are people out there that actually enjoy my cerebral excrement. And ask for more. I got to thinking about the sequel, and I've discovered that this is in first person, told from Jamie's perspective, and Shadoobie writes in third person, told from an omnipotent view. I wonder how merging our sequels will work. Now, I would like to thank a couple reviewers.

Anbu713- I enjoy your enthusiasm, but you don't have to review on EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN CHAPTER! I believe you are just filling up reviews so I'll make a sequel. Keep it up and there won't BE a sequel. And Jamie didn't use the Backlash Wave on Seymour. Just an anger fed Wind Scar or three. And don't worry. Jamie might use the Backlash Wave before the ened of the fic.

SephirothXX- I realize that Wakka might be a little out of character, and I apologize. And I also realize that there aren't that many events or much dialogue from that game, but keep in mind: Jamie don't give a damn. He just wants to get home. And if you haven't noticed, the titles of the chapters are actual lines from the sing 'My Immortal'. I have to go kinda fast or I'll run out of lines. And I will fix things so that Jamie doesn't just 'Wind Scar the hell out of everything.'

Chapter 10: Wipe away all of your tears.

:WARNING:THIS CHAPTER RATED 'R'! READ AT OWN RISK:WARNING:

I woke up the next morning feeling tired. I had another dream of that night, except in Yuna's place was Rikku. Sure Rikku's kinda cute, but she's nothing like Stephanie. She can't fill this hole in me. We moved out, guided by Auron to a place Lulu called the Calm Lands. I heard it was where summoners fought Sin, and where some of them lost their way.

"Hey…Jamie?" I heard Rikku say.

I turned and she was holding a black shirt. "I talked with daddy, and managed to get you a new shirt. Maybe when you get home, it'll remind you of us."

I hope not. I accepted the shirt, peeled of my torn one, and slid the new one over my head. I could feel Rikku's eyes on my scars. I guess we finally understand each other now. She lost something precious to her, her home, and I lost something just as precious: Stephanie. The new shirt was baggier than my old one, but it was a color I liked. Black goes with anything. Even blood.

We hiked over a ridge and came to the Calm Lands. Don't see anything special about it. Just rolling plains. Boring… I walked over to the edge of the cliff we were on and looked down. "No, wouldn't work."

"What are you muttering about?" Auron demanded.

"Fall from here wouldn't kill me."

"Would you stop talking about dying?" Lulu asked. "Why are you so bent on killing yourself?"

"I've waited about three years for my tomorrow. What are the chances that it would show up today?"

Lulu just threw her hands up, defeated. They had to understand. The odds of today being tomorrow are slim. Hell, I'd thought I found my tomorrow when I found Stephanie. But tomorrow must eventually become yesterday, it just happened too early.

We wandered down to a small trading post in the middle of the plains. It was run by an Al Bhed. I couldn't understand half of what she said, but I managed to sell all of the potions, ethers, and other things I'd collected. Dead men don't need such things. Rikku asked why I did that, and I didn't answer. The answer should be blindingly obvious.

"Father Zuke!" Lulu exclaimed as an old man walked up.

"Long time no see," he said, smiling. "You are Yuna? Hmm... You certainly don't look like Maester Kinoc's murderer."

"What'd you say?" Wakka shouted.

"Please, tell us what has happened!" Yuna said.

"Maester Mika just issued a personal order, you know. It said that you and your guardians murdered Maester Kinoc and fled. We are to kill you on sight, or so it says."

"What of Bevelle?" Auron asked.

"Things are calm on the surface, but the depths are turbulent. After the death of Maester Kinoc, Kelk Ronso left Yevon."

"Convenient," Auron muttered. "Getting around will be easier with Yevon in disarray."

"But be careful, my friends. You have been branded enemies of Yevon. You should avoid temples for the time being."

"Thank you, Father Zuke," Yuna said, "for your warning."

Whatever. I shouldn't care what happens here. I won't remember it, anyways. We all decided to regroup at nightfall, take a break while we're here, and everyone went a different way. I saw Tidus talking to a lady on a chocobo, and eventually riding one. It looked worse than when I tried it…how long has it been? About a week? Yeah, it's been about a week.

Yuna had heard of a temple near here and went to find it, along with Kimahri, Lulu, and Wakka. Auron said he had heard of a monster corral during his last pilgrimage with Yuna's dad and went to check it out. Rikku was chasing butterflies…or pyroflies…whatever they're called. I just laid back and relaxed. It can't be noon already, so I have about another eleven hours 'til the big drop.

"Gang way!" I heard Tidus yell. I turned my head and saw a huge pair of chicken feet coming right for me. I sat up, about to get trampled by an oversized turkey, when it swerved off at the last minute. I was breathing hard, clutching my chest.

"Damn!"

"What happened?" Rikku asked. "You look like you were almost scared to death!"

"Almost…"

I saw the shocked expression on her face turn to frustration as she stormed off. Good. Maybe she'll give up on me. And if Tidus comes near me again, I'm gonna kill the bird with him still on it. But he never did. I just lay back on the ground again and stared at the sky. It reminded me of the sky I had seen when I first got here: clear, blue, just a few wisps of cloud. I guess I was still tired, because I eventually fell asleep.

My slumber was dreamless. No Fayth, no Jecht, no recurrences of that night. Just a plain sleep. I woke up about three hours after I had drifted off, according to the sun. But I could be wrong. I'm no Crocodile Dundee. I sat up rubbing my eyes, and saw that everyone was gathered next to the trading post. I trudged over, curious about what they were talking about.

"Come on, Rikku," Yuna sighed. "What's the big surprise?"

"Well, daddy's been putting his airship to work, and a team of his explorers found a bunch of weapons for us. He said that we would need them to beat Sin." With that, she brought something from behind her back. It was a huge red gauntlet looking thing. She passed the other weapons out to the others: Tidus got a new blue sword, Yuna got a rod with a phoenix-looking tip, Wakka got a ball with blades all over it, Lulu got a doll that had a shield, a sword, and an onion on its head, Auron got a HUGE sword, and Kimahri got a spear with a golden tip. Guess after seeing Tetsusaiga in action, Cid didn't get me anything. Either that or Rikku told him what happened.

A/N- How else did you expect me to get the Celestial Weapons in?

Everyone was admiring their new weapons, and I just walked off. That's what I always did. Nothing here mattered anymore. I was leaving and I would remember nothing of Spira. I heard Auron suggest that we…they spend the night out here. I suppose leaving is for the best. One less man to worry about and Auron won't have to put up with me anymore.

While the others were setting up camp, I looked around for a good place to jump. Spotting a cliff, nearby, I jogged over to it. Oh yeah. This'll do nicely. I couldn't see the bottom. But is that a good thing? What if during that drop, I reconsider. No…I won't think twice. The Fayth said I could go home, and Rikku said they wouldn't stop me. I'm gonna hold them to it.

6 Hours Later…

Camp was set up, and dinner was cooking over a fire. The sun was setting, bathing everything in a reddish-gold glow. I was leaned up against one of the tents, staring at the sun as it disappeared over the horizon, over which was my grave. Just two more hours…two more hours.

Rikku brought me a bowl of soup, but didn't say a word. Neither of us did. I guess she finally figured out that it's hopeless. I'm going home, and there's nothing she can do about it. I picked up the slice of bread on the edge, nibbling on the crust, thinking of a New York sized pizza. Thin crust, gooey, melted cheese, ham and pineapple, just the way I like it.

I felt my stomach gurgle, and decided to eat what they had given me. It looked like chicken and rice soup, and tasted the same. Why do I get the feeling that this is what's left of the chocobo Tidus was riding? I ate it slowly, savoring it. Who knows what shape I'm in back home? I could be eating through a straw for all I know. Might as well enjoy my last solid meal, for a while anyways.

I finished and left my bowl where Rikku had set it. I heard the others laughing behind me. Either they've already forgotten about me, or they're trying to be optimistic, remembering all of the times they had with me. The Fayth said that when I go home I won't have any memories of Spira. Will the others forget me? I hope they do. It's best they forget about me.

I stood, trying not to make a sound. I pulled Tetsusaiga out of my belt and set it quietly on the ground. The least I could do is give them an edge against Sin. I started walking to the cliff I had looked over earlier, ready to go home. Maybe they won't notice. Maybe by the time they notice I'm gone, it'll be too late. Maybe…

"Jamie!" So much for that hope. I heard Rikku jog up beside me, walking sideways so she could look at me.

"Go away, Rikku."

"Where're you going?"

"Where do you think? I'm going home."

"You said you'd wait a day before you left."

"…I did, I waited, and I'm tired of waiting."

"You said you'd give it another twenty-four hours. You have another two hours."

"I'm leaving now."

"Hey! I said I wouldn't stop you if you waited a day. Since you didn't wait a full day, I get to stop you," she said, pulling a grenade out.

"Go ahead. Try to stop me. It'll save me the trouble of jumping."

Her expression turned defeated as she put the grenade away. She decided against threatening me, but she did try to talk me out of it. She went on and on about all of the things we had done together, but I kept walking. Why remind me of something I'd just forget?

"Why are you going to jump?"

I stopped walking when she said that. Why was I jumping? Because the whole world was shitting on me. I'm tired of having everything blow up on me, tired of everyone else getting the glory, the talent, the looks, the luck…

"I'm jumping because…I thought that I'd have a clean slate here, I'd be able to start over, and things would go my way. But Spira is just turning into another home. Nothing is going my way. If I jump, I'll go home, and I won't have any memories of being here. There are some things that have happened here that I would rather forget. In a nutshell, I'm jumping because, being dropped here felt like starting over, and my tomorrow still didn't come."

I started walking again, and Rikku started following me again. When will she understand? She can't stop me.

"So, you're waiting for something to be different…for something to go your way…"

I just nodded and kept walking. I got to the cliff and looked over. Soon, I'd be home. In a hospital, more than likely, but home nonetheless. Back to everyday life. No more Seymour, no more Auron, no more of any of this. I'm just gonna go home.

"Jamie…"

Is she ever going to give up? "What?" I asked without turning.

"Something did change…something is different."

Alright. This girl is beginning to grind on my last nerve. I whirled around, eyes full of fury, and shouted, "What, Rikku? What is different? What is so fucking diffmmmmmmmm!"

I stopped speaking because she had thrown her arms around my neck and placed her lips against mine. All my fury, all my hatred, all my anger, seemed to disappear. The only other girl I had ever kissed was Stephanie. Why is Rikku kissing me?

As if to answer, she pulled away and looked away from me, as though she were embarrassed. "That's what's different. I've finally worked up the courage to admit my feelings for you."

"Wha…?" I started, but she put a finger on my lips to silence me.

"Before you say anything, let me get this off my chest. I've had these feelings since Guadosalam, when I listened to that song, and I've just now worked up the courage to say it. I…I don't know how to say this. Back at Thunder Plains, I lied when I said I'd asked the others if I could stay with them. I came straight to you. Back in Bevelle, when you almost drowned, we didn't draw straws. And back in Macalania, we did hear a scream, but I volunteered to look for you. I've tried to put myself close to you, but you never seemed to notice that I liked you. But now, now I can say it. Jamie…I…I love you!" After she said that, she buried her face in my new shirt and began crying.

I honestly didn't know what to say. Here I am, about to kill myself, and she tells me she loves me. I felt the passion in that kiss. It was real, genuine. She really loves me. I guess…maybe…my tomorrow did come. I just had to give it time. To think, if I wasn't about to jump, then she may not have admitted her feelings for me. If I had decided to stay with Yuna, then I might have been sent home in the end feeling…not quite whole. So my tomorrow came after all, just not right away. After all, it's tomorrow all day long.

"Thanks, Rikku."

She raised her head and looked into my eyes. Hers were red from the tears, and mine were beginning to water. She sniffled and asked, "For what?"

"For saving my life," I said, smiling. She returned the smile, as we came together in a passionate kiss. Everything around me disappeared: Yuna, Sin, Spira, everything. All that mattered was being right there with Rikku. All that mattered was this long forgotten feeling rushing through my heart. Nothing else mattered. Fuck home and fuck Sin. Fuck them sideways with a golf club. I never wanted that moment to end.

But it eventually did. I don't know who broke the kiss, but it didn't matter. Rikku was still there in my arms. We sat down on the edge of the cliff that was going to be my grave, and stared at the sunset. This moment is just perfect. New York street punk meets Al Bhed princess. I had my left arm around her, and her head was over on my shoulder. I could almost hear the soft music playing in the background. This is perfection.

"So, Jamie," my new love said. "Wanna have sex?"

Insert needle scratching off vinyl record sound effect here. "Huh? What'd you say? Because either I got something stuck in my ear or you asked me if I wanted to have sex."

"Yeah, so?"

"Uh, Rikku. Aren't we a little…I dunno…young?"

"Oh, come on. I'm curious and you can't say you don't want to know what it feels like. And don't give me that crap about protection. Al Bhed have a natural contraceptive."

"Built-in birth control, huh? I still don't know. Wouldn't it be considered rape?"

"No, silly. As long as it's consensual, it's okay."

"I'd rather wait until I'm married, thank you."

"Rock, paper, scissors. If I win, we have sex. If you win, we don't."

It sounded fair enough. I always had good luck when it came to this game. We turned to each other, balled up our fists, and counted. "One…two…three!" With that we both extended our hands.

HOW THE HELL DOES PAPER BEAT ROCK? I am going to kill whoever made that rule. Since when can paper do anything to rock? It can't even give rock a paper cut. Worst it can do is have an eviction notice printed on it, and even then, the rock is a paper weight. How does paper beat rock?

"Come on, Rikku. Two out of three!"

"Quit complaining, loser. We had an agreement, and I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain."

I guess there's no winning with her. I just followed her until we got to an overhang near the entrance from Macalania. It looked like there had been a bridge up above, but it had long since collapsed. She arranged the broken boards so no one would notice us back here. Being the sneaky thief she was, she had snuck into camp and made off with a couple blankets. She spread them out on the ground, and sat down on one of them, signaling for me to come over.

Part of me wanted to get the hell out of there, run back to camp. I don't care what the others thought of me still being alive. Why did she want to have sex? I complied, but only because I knew she could…and would maim me if I didn't. Yes, maim, and I don't mean that suggestively or as a metaphor.

I was nervous…well, nervous isn't strong enough a word, but it's the only one I could come up with on such short notice. To put it descriptively for all of you politically correct yo-yos out there: my heart was beating faster than a race horse with an overactive bladder, and my mind had suddenly turned into a blender that was set on puree with no "off" button…that good enough for you!

I felt stiff in all of my joints as well as…other places. Can you blame me! Still, despite that, I managed to stutter my body into a sitting position a few inches away from her, almost immediately sitting Indian style with my arms crossed over my chest. Something was telling me not to look at her, even though I wanted to…deep down somewhere. My nerves just wouldn't settle. Stupid nerves…

Before I realized it I felt her hands on my shoulders, her mouth coming stealthily to my ear.

"It's okay," she spoke so softly, I almost couldn't hear. "Lie back…relax."

My body wouldn't object as she pulled on my shoulders, in fact it more or less went limp entirely as my back met the blanket. But that part did not go limp. I tried to look straight up, but my eyes honed in on her face, seemingly aglow with the scattered light of the night sky. Beautiful green eyes…the kind you can drown in…get lost in.

Rikku leaned gracefully towards me and we kissed, one of her hands pressed against my chest, the warmth of her touch drifting through me, making me feel weightless in this newfound bliss. I already had the makings of a six-pack and pecs before I came here, and being in Spira made them even more defined, but her touch just made them go limp. The touch of her lips and the touch of her fingers trailing across my chest. This was way better than mouth-to-mouth. One of the advantages being I was actually conscious…and no Kimahri. Sweet…

With my eyes closed I reached up and touched her face, my hands forming almost perfectly along her cheeks and jaw line. Rikku shifted most of her weight onto me but I didn't seem to notice; she wasn't really that heavy. If anything it made me feel like I just gained a point to add to my ego, being able to hold her steadily.

I didn't realize it when one of my hands strayed and reached back, resting where her knee met her thigh. I got a surge of goose bumps when it dawned on me. I got another jolt when her tongue ever so skillfully slid between my lips and into my partially open mouth. I can only think of one phrase, to this day, to capture that moment of shock…I'M KING OF THE WORLD! Or something like that…minus the big sinking ship and dorky actor guy. And the old lady with the blue rock.

Things really progressed in a hurry from that point. When I say hurry I mean something like…retarded fast forward. Like fast forwarding, only a little slower. I can remember flashes of that point to when we had gotten our clothes off. I felt her hands beneath my shirt, gesturing blatantly to remove it. I had no objection of course. Maybe slight hesitation, but I still wanted her to strip me down. And let me just clear it up here and now, never did she leave me money in the waist of my underwear for the strip tease, okay! Just thought I'd straighten that out now.

Her touch gave me wicked shivers that sent hot blood plummeting to my…well…there. Where do you think! Yes, my pants became uncomfortably tight within moments of all this beginning.

When my shirt had left me, so did my uneasiness. I wasn't so unsure about touching her anymore. Rikku certainly didn't seem to have a problem in staking her territory all over me, her kisses and caresses painting out the blueprints of love's grand design on my bare skin. Damn it felt good. I almost couldn't concentrate.

Naturally my first instinct was to get her naked…I am a guy after all. I tried my best to take my time; I didn't want to rush it or anything. Unless I had irrefutable proof that every day from this point on would be my tomorrow, I was going to siphon tonight for all it was worth.

I vividly recall Rikku suddenly sitting up, practically tearing her shirt off in a hurry, and forcing my hand to cover one breast. My mouth hung open in shock and we just looked at each other. I found myself being drawn to her eyes again. It felt like a short eternity went by before I pulled my gaze away and looked her over.

Damn…she's HOT!

Flawless skin, a flat stomach, and shadowy details of muscles here and there…wow. Rikku wore a bra that covered…some, but better resembled something to launch stuff at someone in a sling shot type motion than cover yourself with. I swallowed hard and finally tuned in to how hard my breathing was. My heart jerked slightly when my fingers unconsciously wove themselves beneath one of the thin straps that kept it on her body.

It was obvious she wanted me to take it off; I wasn't sure what was stopping me. Actually it was nothing; I guess I was just caught up in the um…titillating view. Yeah sure…what a word.

I slowly reached behind her, making her lean forward slight, and blindly explored her bare back in trying to find whatever it was holding this thing together.

Aha, a knot!

It was only a simple bunny ears tie and it easily came undone with the slightest whisper of material. The garment slid away from her shoulders and she tossed it aside; I swallowed hard again.

Great breasts too…golly gee wiz. Perfect…perky…arousing; the only words playing grab-ass inside my head at the time. I pretty much lost it at that point. Last thing I remember clearly was pulling Rikku back on top of me, kissing her madly and all over. And I mean all over. Most of it's a bit blurry after that. My mind decided to come back from its momentary retardation lapse when I found my pants on the ground next to my feet. All of Rikku's clothing had been discarded as well, including the orange panties I had so bluntly pointed out back at Moonflow.

I'm naked…but she is too…hmmm. Ah hell…as of right now, I have officially STOPPED analyzing everything that's going on around me!

Our bodies were pressed together, our hearts pounding in time. I had my hands around her waist as we lay facing one another, closing my eyes blissfully as her hand rested on my warm face, fingers weaving through my long hair. I'd stay just like this forever if I could…I wouldn't have to go any further. This was too perfect.

Then, out of nowhere, with slightly winded breath, Rikku said what I would come to keep with me forever. No matter where I was…be it a day, a month, or even a century away from now.

"Make me yours."

And I did. Throughout the concealing arms of the star strewn sky and the hours of darkness she belonged to me…and I to her. During that time, all was nothing, and nothing was everything. I was truly happy…free even. The way Rikku clung to me, trembling in feverish ecstasy beneath me as we made love; the final, climactic shudder between the two of us…and everything before, between, and after seemed to come together to absorb my pain. It all appeared as a distant memory now…pleasantly distant.

She was my everything…she made me feel so alive. For once, for one fleeting moment…I feared death. Like the flame of a candle on the brink going out, I feared the darkness. Only reason being that death would tear me from the only real happiness I had at last come to know. Now that I had it…I wanted to cry openly at the thought of losing it again…of losing her.

'God…if you're up there…just grant me this one prayer. If nothing else…just let me keep her.'

When it was over, leaving us both awash in the warm aftermath, I held her. I felt her heartbeat, heard it too and listened intently to its soothing cadence. Before becoming too settled I reached for the other blanket and pulled it over us.

My head felt heavy like my eyelids as I became tired. Flashes of a moment ago swam listlessly in my mind. I chanced one last glance at my lover, smiling weakly at how she had a lock of my hair curled almost childishly around her finger. She was already out, her breathing now systematic in deep sleep. I managed one last kiss on her forehead before practically passing out.

I couldn't remember the last time I slept so well.

FDB- I want to thank Shadoobie for writing that last part for me. I suck at writing lemons. But this isn't a lemon. More like a lime with shades of a lemon in it. Whatever, it's some kind of citrus fruit, I know that much. Sorry this chapter has been a while. I've had it typed up for a while. I was just waiting for Shadoobie to type up the…grapefruit? Tangerine? Mango? Is mango citrus? Who gives a flying rat's ass? REVIEW!