A/N: Wow, it's been a logn time since I posted a chapter of this story. I think this one is probably my favorite (after His Grin) because I don't have anything in particular to live up to with this story, unlike STC. Um, the first half of this chapter had been written for weeks, since even before His Grin, I've just been really lazy. (grins) Those of you who are reading, thanks for being so patient.

Um, before we start, I need to alert you guys to something. You know the dream Darien has in the anime, that takes place at his and Serena's wedding? I don't use that dream for this fic. It doesn't fit my plotline.

Disclaimer: Hmm, let's think. If I said I owned it, and Kodansha arrested me, could I plead insanity?

Why We Can't

Chapter Five: Deja Vu

At first, there was only the dream. The dream, the usual one. Sailor Moon getting speared through the gut by a faceless youma because she jumped in front of the missile meant for him. How slick the blood was, how easy to slip on.

Then came the images. A furious spate of them, most too fast to see or interpret, in a blur of color. Every so often, the stream would slow down, and he'd see a couple – all of Serena. Serena stumbling over a tree root, Serena being held up by Venus, Serena stirring a milkshake and accidentally knocking it over, Serena doubled over in her fuku while white-sleeved arms reached out of the impenetrable darkness behind her, Serena hugging a crying Rini, Serena twirling an elongated scepter, Serena curled up on her window seat with dark circles smudging her eyes, Serena in her favorite blue jumper and sleeveless white hoodie, stepping off a curb – no, that wasn't a curb, that was a building –

…

…the images faded…

…

…and dark returned…

…

…with the sound of labored breathing…

…

"Darien…"

Buns!

"Darien…it hurts…where…have you gone…Darien, it hurts!"

Calm down, Buns, calm down – where does it hurt?

"…hurts…"

Where? Buns, tell me where! Are you bleeding?

"Who is he…Darien, make him go away, please, make him leave, make him leave…!"

Buns!

AWAY FROM HER – I SAID NOW

"…no…leave me alone…please!"

BUNS!

Darien gasped and sat up straight in his bed. He blinked through the sweat that poured down his forehead, and the darkness slowly resolved itself into the familiar shadows of his bedroom. Buns… The sweat on his skin, sticky like Bun's blood had been. Just a dream…just another dream…

But it wasn't. He could feel the sensation in his chest, like a string yanking at his heart, and he knew it was her. She was confused and hurting and terrified – something, or someone had attacked her.

He threw aside the sheets and stumbled from the bed. Rose petals fell to the floor and lay still as he wrenched open the glass doors.

To hell with that voice – I'm coming, Serena. I'm coming.

At Serena's scream, all of the girls sprang into action. Ami grabbed Rini, ready to dash out of the apartment with her if it was another member of the Black Moon, and Lita, Rei, and Mina charged into the guest bedroom. All four clutched their henshin wands tightly.

"Serena? Serena!" Lita shoved her wand back into her Sub-Space pocket and grabbed the thrashing blonde by the shoulders, shaking her violently. "Wake up!"

Bloodshot blue eyes popped open, releasing a flood of hot tears. Serena stared unseeingly at Lita, her limbs trembling crazily in the tangled sheets. She was sobbing in long, dragging gasps.

"Lita, let me through, please." Ami had reappeared with Rini. She handed the girl to Rei and elbowed Lita gently out of the way. "Her bruises must have swollen and constricted her windpipe – she's having trouble breathing. Serena, can you hear me?" She smoothed the blonde's sweat-soaked bangs back from her quickly paling face. "Serena, listen to me."

Serena paid not a speck of attention to Ami; she continured to convulse, her eyes darting around wildly, as though following some apparition that the others could not see.

"Move."

Jaws dropped all around as a hatless Tuxedo Mask appeared and pushed Ami away from Serena.

"Tuxedo Mask!" Rini's shrill exclamation was easily heard above Serena's labored breathing. She leapt out of Rei's arms onto the bed, scrambling up into her favorite hero's lap. "You came!"

"Not now, Rini," Tuxedo Mask gritted out, plucking Rini out of his lap and placing her back on the floor. "One of you take her, please?"

"We're not babysitters, we're Sen – " Rei bit her tongue at Ami's swift look. "I mean, fine." She scooped Rini up and scowled at her. "Keep quiet, you."

"Thank you," said Tuxedo Mask in a steely voice, turning back to Serena. His hand lifted to her face, but then flinched backwards as a spark shot out of Serena's brooch. He spun with a growl, jumping to his feet. "What the hell, Lita!"

Rini gasped, but neither paid any attention.

"You keep away from her," barked the brunette, more sparks arcing between her splayed hands as she moved next to Serena. "You're lucky we don't flay you alive right here and right now for what you did. Get outta my sight."

"You, flay me?" Tuxedo Mask's voice was deadly soft, and he laughed a little, sitting back down on the bed, careful not to jostle it. The laugh was frightening in its softness, like the nearly mute rustle of a viper through leaves. "I never knew you were such a comedian, Lita."

"Yeah, we'll see if you're still laughing when your skin cells burst into flame," said Lita grimly. "I said, move. Rei, put Rini down and take Serena."

Rei handed the shocked child to Mina and moved behind Lita, reaching out to pull Serena out of the bed. Her hand was a couple inches from Serena's when she froze, feeling something cold and sharp against her throat.

"Don't touch her."

Rei turned her head slowly to look into the perfectly serious gaze of Endymion's reincarnation. His cane had extended, and the sharp object at her throat was a blade protruding from the end of the cane. She gulped. "Is that a new feature?"

"Do as he says, Rei," Ami ordered from behind them.

"Don't!" Lita growled.

"Lita, we can't do anything! Look at Serena!" Lita glanced from the corner of her eyes at the blonde girl, whose face was now almost blue; she was motionless but for the quick, hunted darting of her eyes. "Her heartbeat is irregular, her bloodsugar is spiking, and she's not breathing! She's going to die, Lita! If he can help her, let him!"

"He can't do anything that we can't – AGH!" Lita screamed, her back arching. The hand that had been spouting electric sparks now steamed slightly. Water dripped from charred fingernails to the carpet. "You ba&#! You threw water on me!"

Tuxedo Mask replaced the empty glass on the nightstand. His blade hadn't wavered from Rei's throat.

"Just let me try to help her." His voice was weary. "I'll bring her right back. You know I will – Mina." His voice held a note of pleading, desperation. "I heard her, she was screaming – someone tried to attack her in her sleep – "

"WHAT!" Lita screeched, whirling on Ami and Mina. "But – how!"

"Lita!" Rei shouted. Lita spun back around, then cursed deafeningly. The bed was empty, Tuxedo Mask was gone, and the curtains were fluttering in the wind from the open window.

Soft material…caressing her face…her wet, burning, tearstained face. That familiar perfume…soothing her senses. This had to be a dream. But if it was, then she waned to keep sleeping – like Maria. She burrowed her head further into the softness, ignoring the fierce throb of her throat, how it felt like she would retch and gag at any moment. She wanted to keep sleeping…but he would hurt her, too. And she hurt him. She couldn't afford to indulge in her selfish, false fantasies.

"Serena."

She groaned, twisting away from the refuge of his chest, but the sound came out as a pitiful mewl. He wouldn't call her Serena if this was a dream. If it was a dream, he would call her Buns, like he used to. "Darien…the…Senshi?"

"They're fine." He wasn't about to tell her about the cut that was probably on Rei's throat, or Lita's basked flesh – it would only upset her. She could find out later. "Not a scratch on them."

She hated the blankness of his voice. It wasn't fair, that he wasn't feeling as much pain as she was. Wasn't this affecting him at all? He should be in pain, he should be hurting like I am! She froze, stomach churning. Oh God…what did I just say? How could she say she loved him when she wanted him to hurt? What kind of love was that?

It…wasn't. She was horrible. She didn't deserve him. Maybe Mercury was right, that they never were meant to be at all. Their engagement had just been the result of teenage hormones…as meaningless as any of J.Lo's nuptials…

"Are you okay?"

"I'm…fine…" Her shaky hands wobbled up to clutch her head. Her eyes remained closed; she was too afraid to open them, too afraid that if she did, he would turn out not to be there at all, and she would just be hallucinating – or worse yet, she would find herself in the arms of that man, that horrible man. "What…happened?"

"That's what I want to know. After Rubeus attacked you, the Senshi took you away – then, not half an hour later, I hear you screaming through the link. What happened?"

"Nothing." She steeled her trembling limbs and turned her face away from him. "You're not…the only one….who's been…having…nightmares."

"Like hell was that a nightmare!" he growled. "Serenity, I felt his presence! Don't you dare try to keep this from me!"

"Oh, like…you've…been keeping…your dreams…from me?" she shot back in a ragged voice that was as close to a snarl as he had ever seen her. Her eyes opened, flashed, poured invisible venom onto him, but that only incensed him further.

"This isn't about me," he snarled back. "This is about you. Tell me what happened, Serena!" Tell me so I can protect you!

"No." Serena climbed shakily to her feet. Keepign her knees from buckling was a near a Herculean effort. Luckily, her jumper hid the trembling limbs from his sight. You don't love me anymore. I was never worthy of your love, anyways – maybe neither of ever loved each other after all. Maybe it was just a dream. Whether it was or not, I'm not going to let you do this anymore.

"You don't know anything about those dreams," Darien gritted out. She could feel his eyes on her, alert for any sign that she might stumble or falter. He would protect his honor by protecting her before he even thought about his own safety. Now it was her turn to protect him, it seemed. Had it hurt him this bad every time he had protected her? Probably not, if the contempt in his voice was any indication.

That realization ignited a little flame of bitterness in her heart once more. Enough to cauterize the wound she was about to inflict. But not enough to chase the shadows of fear from her heart. When Darien was gone, who would protect her from that man?

"No, of course I don't know anything about the dreams." Why was it so hard to pour poison into her voice? Was it because her lungs felt like they were on fire, or was it because she wanted to throw herself into his arms, not make him hate her? "That's why I don't understand why you let them control you. But maybe I shouldn't be surprised – after all, I remember how easy it was for Beryl to brainwash you. Underneath it all, you're just as weak as me." The hypodermic had been inserted, time to empty the needle. She hobbled to the edge of the roof and looked back at him over her shoulder. "Unless you can figure out how to protect yourself, I think you should leave the taking care of me to myself and the Scouts."

She stepped off the edge. Horror filled Darien's stomach, hurling bile into his throat. His mind flashed back to the dream – Serena in her favorite blue jumper and sleeveless white hoodie, stepping off a curb – no, that wasn't a curb, that was a building…

AWAY FROM HER, ENDYMION.

Serena in her favorite blue jumper and sleeveless white hoodie, stepping off a curb

Serena…jumper…stepping…curb

YOU WILL BE HER DEATH.

no…was a building…

I saw it…I've seen her do that before…

No…

No!

Darien buried his face in his hands. His cheeks were, once again, wet.

A/N: I think there's gonna be a lot of questions about this chapter. Or at least one, in particular, but don't worry. All will be revealed in Chapter Six. Um…please review. If the story's getting to melodramatic, tell me. Beat me down! I need CRITICISM!