A/N: I'm supposed to say, "I don't own Fruits Basket, Lord of the Rings or anything else I use to make fun of." I also wish to apologize for not updating and this time I hope that all the A/N throughout this story are clearly understood. Everything in BOLD print is my nararration. Thank you.
CHAPTER 5: Been There, Climbed That. Almost.
"Today it is going to be mild out; with highs in the mid to upper 50's in the valley. Sunny. . . ." The weatherman continued on and on and on. That is, until Sohma Hatsuharu turned the t.v. off.
"Well, should we take our hike today?" Honda Tohru asked not really anyone in particular, but hoping to get an answer. The Sohma's (Haru, Yuki, Kyo, Kagura, Ritsu, and Momiji) and Honda Tohru have gone vacating in the mountains. The Rockies to be exact.
(No adults! On no! It cannot be! It's too soon!)
(Why you may ask? Because, aren't my stories supposed to be about things that happened to me and my family!)
(We had adult supervision though.)
They had tried climbing this particular mountain two days previously but deserted it because the mountain is a-bazillion-kajillion (no such number.) feet high and they didn't have any rations.
(Actually it was only 13,500 feet, but who's tellin' the story?)
Number one in mountain safety! Wait,no... number two! Bring water and food!
"I think we should leave now if we're gonna climb that thing." Kyo called from the roof, "It looked pretty high and if we're not all in shape we should set out early."
"Good point!" Tohru said cheerfully, "I will go wake Yuki-kun and tell him! Momiji, why don't you, Haru-chan and Rit-chan-san pack us all lunch, snacks, and lots of water.Okay?"
"Sure, Tohru!"
The little rabbit with the cow and monkey behind him went to the nice gourmet kitchen with stainless-steel appliances and tiled floors (don't let Kagura touch my dream kitchen!).
Anou. . . .I really hate to wake Yuki-kun so early.
"Yuki?" She asked as she knocked on the door. She carefully slid open the door.
He was sleeping peacefully in his bed, looking like an angel and all the sweet things. . . . .
(Baka Fan Girl.)
"Yuki...?" She went and carefully shook him.
"Mmm...nani...?" He said in his deeeeeeeeeeep slumber.
"Anou...Yuki-kun needs to get up because we are going on our hike today. Gomen nasai for disturbing you."
"Okay...I'll get up in ten minutes..."
"Anou...Yuki-kun needs to get up now-"
Suddenly Haru and Momiji burst into the room.
"Yuuuukeeeeeeeeee!" Momiji sang.
"Nani!" he yelled jumping up in bed and seeing the two boys with the girl.
"You need to get up. Now." Haru said without any expression or concern.
Then he turned and left Yuki with Tohru and Momiji staring after him absently.
"Well," Tohru tore her eyes away from the doorway and began, "We are sorry for waking you and we understand that you need sleep, however we ar-"
She stopped when Yuki held his hand up to signal he got it.Then he threw her one of those marvelously handsome smiles that all the Prince Yuki Fan Club Girls love!
"Oh, well, I'll leave you to get dressed."
Ten minutes later Yuki came down the stairs dressed and ready to hike.
Then they all piled into Kagura's minivan-
(Yes, Kagura has a mini-van.A '98 wine-colored Ford Windstar to be exact that has a terrible dent in the side where an elk hit them lies... Every woman must have a mini-van so she can take her girlfriends shopping and lug kids around too.)
(Order in car: Kagura driving, Tohru in passenger, Ritsu and Momiji in second row, and Kyo and Yuki in the rear with Haru in the middle.)
and they went to the store to grab donuts and milk (in Haru's case, OJ) for breakfast then made their way to the national park.
(Why OJ? Because Orange Juice is cool. Milk is awesome. Cool stuff rocks!)
"She'll be comin' 'round the mountin' when she comes! She'll be comin' 'round the mountin' when she comes!She'll be comin' 'round the mountin', she'll be comin'-"
(SINGING! Gotta love it!)
Momiji sang and sang and sang until Kyo hit him on the head and he began complaining to Tohru who was listening to a Backstreet Boys (I know, ghetto.) cd with Kagura really loudly and singing along and couldn't hear him. After getting really bored Momiji suggests they play the alphabet game which miraculously works.
('Cause I put bilboards up in the national park. OH NO! NEZUMI HAS JUST DISTURBED THE NATURAL BEAUTY OF THE NATIONAL PARK!GOMEN NASAI!)
(Well, I'm running out of things to do in the car, so they quickly arrived at the trail they are going to conquer.)
"This is it?" Haru states stupidly 'cause he has nothing better to do.
"Yep." Says Kyo. He and Yuki secretly vowed to try and lose Haru on this trail so that they would never have to deal with his stupid questions ever again.
(It isn't going to work though.)
Fans Who Hate Cows: Awwwwww...
(Haru is cool. Cows rock!)
So they sadly and tiredly start on the trail of doom. The mountain they are climbing looks like a banana in a banana split.
(Actually it looked like the bowl a banana split would sit in, that had been turned upside down.)
(As many of you prolly know,. . . .)
(Well, you wouldn't because you've never been to the mountain of Doom!MWAHHAHAHA!)
(Well, anyways it is very difficult to breathe in the mountains, except the Sohma's do not experience this at the beginning of their hike. They do however experience it halfway to the first tree which is only five feet away.)
"Geez!wheezes till he sits down How can we wheezes again do this!" Kyo apparently isn't used to the mountains of the USA.
"Are you big, tough guys having trouble breathing? Do you want to go home so soon!" says Tohru in a haughty manner that was not her own.
Haru and Momiji raise their hands because Momiji copies Haru and Haru doesn't mind speaking his mind.
"That's not what I meant!" says Tohru flusteredley.
(Yay! Tohru's flustered! She and Yuki have something in common!)
"Inhale.inhales Exhale.exhales" Yuki is saying while trying not to have an attack in the middle of nowhere.
Haru, Ritsu, and Momiji have gotten stuck as the pack mules (Or, in Haru's case, the stupid ,slow ox).
Kyo and Yuki are not arguing because they are not acclimated.
Tohru and Kagura are 'encouraging' everyone.
Fun.
"We have another 5 miles to go till we get to the top!" Says. . . .a random person who is American and doesn't speak Japanese and is obviously,to Kyo, insulting them in a foreign language!
"What did you say!" Kyo shouts in a language foreign to the American, but luckily it isn't this American's day to die and his daughter, who is an anime fan, saves him.
"Gomen nasai!" she says like any fan. Then she launches into a conversation.
"Gomen , my oto-san didn't know you didn't speak English. I'm Kit. Namae wa na desu ka?"
(She says all of this in Japanese, but I only knew the last part and beginning! GOMEN NASAI!)
Yuki steps up and introduces everyone,"We are the Sohma's and our friend,Honda Tohru.That's Kagura. That's Kyo.guestures weakly to the cat Back there is Haru, Ritsu, Momiji and," He holds his hand out, "I'm Sohma Yuki."
Well, Kit being the regular girl she is, shakes his hand like any American. Firmly. Then she walks over and introduces herself to Tohru and Kagura.
"So you guys are from Japan?" She asks Tohru.
"Hai! "
"Cool! I want to go to Japan someday."
(For some reason Kit's dad doesn't really care if she hangs out with the Sohma's, so he continues up ahead, away from Kyo.)
"So, do you guys like anime?"
"Oh yes!" said Kagura, "We love anime! Our favorite right now is .hack/SIGN."
" 'How come I must know? Where obssession needs to go? How come I must know?-' "
(And the trio begins singing the theme song for one of my favorite animes."Deep in the night, far off the light, missing my headache. Visions of light, sweeter delight, kissing my loveache.How come I must know? Where obssession needs to go? How come I must know? The direction of relieving...?" That song rocks!)
(Where were we? Oh yes!)
Yuki and Kyo are walking and walking and so is everyone else when they come to a fork.
(Not litterally! Are you guys really that gullible!)
"Okayyy..." Yuki stares at the map absently," It says that this trail to the right goes up to Chapin Summit and this other goes to Chapin Lake.Which one, Tohru?"
Tohru smiles, because she likes it when people say her name, especially Yuki.
(Who wouldn't like Yuki to speak their name! Well, yes the young people in the audience are an exception of course.)
"I think we should go up to the Summit. What think ye, friend Kit-chan?"
"Aye,aye!"
"Great! We're going to the Summit!"
"Another 5 miles." states Yuki absently (cause he likes to do things absently).
So again they start, but because they drank too much milk ( and OJ) at the car, they have to stop at the bushes .
(The last one's they'll see till they come down again, because they are going above tree-line!)
"Okay! Conserve water! Wait until absolutely neccessary! Suck on a cough drop if your throat hurts or gets slightly dry." Says. . . . Kit's dad!
(Why are you down here so fast!)
"Because I didn't have to take a leak or eat or chatter or any of the idiotic things you've made them do!"
(Awww. . . . .are you jealous?)
"No!" He screams at Nezumi obviously upset-like.
"Okay," Kyo breaks in because Yuki doesn't want to and neither does anyone else and shrugs because I made him," Uh, I don't know who you are mysterious voice,but I want you to show yourself!"
(Okay.)
BOOM!
Out from behind the bushes walks a midget orc wearing a mushroom hat.
(Complete Lord of The Rings The Two Towers PS2 game and you will understand,hopefully. Mushroom sold seperately.)
(I am Orc. My master is Saruman. Obey me.)
"How come his mouth isn't moving?" asks Ritsu because he hasn't said ANYTHING since the beggining.
"He's psychic?" says Yuki again absently.
(No, you imbescile!I am Orc.)
"Me, Tarzan. You, Stupid." Said Haru.
(He says this because he wants to fight, but he doesn't know this because his Black side is thinking this and well, you get it.)
(What...did you say...?...)
"Stooo-piiiiidddddd..."
(You don't want to fight me.)
"Bring it...on."
(Okay! That's it! It's on now!)
"Durhhhh!"
(No, you don't!)
"Darn."
And the little midget runs at Haru and Haru who turned Black (WOOHOO!) steps over him.
The little guy is really mad now. But sadly cannot do anything but verbally abuse our cow.
Haru suddenly picks up the twerp and asks him,
"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOD! DO YOU, PUNK!"
"Hatsuharu-chan...?" Says Tohru because she cares about all the zodiac even when they turn Black.
Haru tosses the little orc who is now going to retire from Saruman's clutches into the bushes.
(Hello, I'm Ritsu sohma and I will be taking over for Ms. Nezumi since she is not feeling very well. Nezumi groans from inside bushes GOMEN NASAI NEZUMI-CHAN!)
And they continue up the mountain as if nothing happened, because theoretically, nothing did happen.
(I love big words...)
The Sohma's experience strange things all the time, so this wasn't new to them.
(Well, I'm getting bored, so they are now at the saddle, which is between these two mountains.)
Chapin and Chiquita. Chapin was the original destination, but it had changed to the saddle and now changed to Chiquita which is a-million-billion-kajillion (no such number) feet higher.
(Actuality: 400 feet.)
"Wow! We're here." says Tohru because she has to say something.
"It's so beautiful...Tohru-chan! Take a picture of Kyo and I!Come here, Kyo!"
"Heck no!"
"Why not!"
"BE-cause!"
"Oh,Kyo..." Kagura says and sits on the ground like she did in that one episode.
"Fine! I'll take your stupid picture!"
They pose and Kyo actually smiles!
"Now onward!" says Momiji since he and Haru and Ritsu have continued up what looks like another 200 feet.
These three continue leading while everyone else follows.
And they come over the ridge, the "last" one, and find...!
Another ridge!
"...oh, crap..." says Yuki. But he continues 'cause he is cool.
(Talking mousie buddies rock.)
And they keep walking. Momiji is tired and so is everyone else, but they keep going, because...
(They're going to see 'Sky Captain' even though I want them to see 'Hero'. )
And eventually they make it to the "top".
"YooHoooooooooo!"
"YAY! HALLOOOOOOOO!"
"I'm so happy that I could share this moment with my friends and Kit-chan."
Tohru's eyes well up with tears and she smiles happily while everyone smiles at her.
Except Kit who doesn't know that Tohru is a very emotional person and expresses happiness with tears and sorrow with a smile.
"Now," Momiji who is hungry begins," LET'S go see SKY CAPTAIN!"
Kyo hits Momiji on the head and begins abusing him and everyone else laughs and they make their way down the mountain so they may watch the movie and end this long story.
THE END
COMMENTARY:
Nezumi : I had fun writing this one. Although it took me some time and I had some help from my adorable sister and stuffed pet frog named Nezumi. Enjoy and keep reviewing.
Jessica -- : I love angry cursing cats, and my little mousie buddies! I know my facey (to your left) makes me look real mean, but, I'm not. hits sister on head very hard grrrrrrrrrrr. . . . . . .smiles. . . . . . . .sorry. . . .but in her head she was goin' : ". . .yeah, RIGHT." winks
Stuffed Pet Frog Named Nezumi Because My Owner Doesn't Have A Rat: ribbitcroakbelchsneezecoughhack wheeze Hairball...