Continued from chapter 8
-/-
64 HOURS MISSING
Samantha woke up to the sight and sound of a minor hurricane in her bedroom. She blinked groggily a few times only to realize it was in fact a half-dressed Jack scurrying the room to find the remainder of his clothes. She vaguely remembered something about having thrown them all over the place last night in her eagerness to undress him. The memory made her blush ever so slightly.
"Morning." Jack had noticed she was awake and slowed down long enough to give her a quick kiss on the forehead before continuing his search. "You wouldn´t happen to know where my shoes are?"
"Um…" She shook her head lightly to clear her mind before offering hesitantly, recalling it had been awhile before they abandoned the couch for her bed, "The living room?"
He stopped, looking at her for a moment while considering, then nodded. "Could be."
Sam sat up, pulling the covers protectively up around her as she watched him disappear out into the living room. He returned shortly afterwards with both shoes in his hand. "Under the couch," he said as explanation as he sat down on the edge of the bed, slipping them on. "Sorry, I´m in such a hurry, but I have a meeting with Van Doren at 9 and I´m a little late as it is."
She turned her head to glance at her alarm clock. "You´ll be cutting it really close if you are going home to shower and change first."
He smiled at her, reaching out to brush a couple of stray hairs behind her ear. "Well, I kind of have to, don´t I? It´s not like I have any fresh clothes stored here any more."
"No, that´s true."
It was a little white lie. Sam was pretty sure a few items were left somewhere, probably buried deeply in the back of her closet, but she wasn´t going to bring that up now. It might give him the wrong impression.
Done with his shoes, Jack rose again and stepped over to pick up his jacket from the floor. He put it on and stuffed his tie into a pocket before turning around to face her. He was about to speak when something like realization finally showed on his face and his brow furrowed.
"Is everything okay?"
"Why wouldn´t it be?" She tried to deflect the question with a placid smile. She wasn´t going to get into a discussion with him now, although she knew it was a conversation they needed to have soon. However, now wasn´t the time.
He regarded her in silence for a moment, then walked over to sit down on the bed again. Taking her limp hand into his, he looked into her eyes as he spoke earnestly, "Look, I know I´ve been coming on a little strong."
Sam couldn´t help but smile wryly at the understatement, but remained silent.
"I didn´t come here last night to… well, you know." He gestured with his free hand at her and the bed, looking a little sheepish. "I just wanted to check on you and see if you were all right. I´m fully aware that what happened last night probably shouldn´t have happened, at least not yet, but I´m not going to lie and say I regret that it did."
She returned his gaze unwaveringly, her eyes alert but somehow veiled and she still didn´t respond. Not just because she wanted to hear him out, but because she didn´t know what to say herself. In fact, she wasn´t even sure she knew how to move, as she had been frozen in the same half upright position since she woke.
Jack sighed, glancing down at his hand holding hers before looking back up. "I know it complicates matters and to be honest, I´m not feeling particularly proud of myself right now, but…" He hesitated and it appeared as though he was searching for words as they continued to look into each other´s eyes, neither able to look away. Wetting his lips, Jack spoke softly, subconsciously leaning a little closer, "Sam, I know everything is a bit of a mess and I know it´s all my fault."
"It´s not just your fault," she began wearily, knowing she was just as responsible as he. If not more and it was time she paid for it. "I was weak. I should-"
He gently put a finger to her lips to still her words and she allowed him, feeling the light brush against her face as he removed it again.
"Okay, then let´s say it´s mainly my fault," he replied with a faint smile before growing serious. "There´s so much I need to say to you, and I will, but I really have to go now or Van Doren will have my ass."
Sam nodded meekly, both disappointed and relieved that they would have to postpone this. For a moment she wondered if he would kiss her goodbye and she could almost tell he was wondering the same by the look in his eyes. Then at last he leaned forward to give her a light peck on the cheek and stood up.
"I´ll see you at work."
"Yes." She watched as he made his way to the door, unable to stop herself from deadpanning, "I might be a little late myself. Cover for me if my boss asks; he´s the dark, ruggedly handsome one. Can´t miss him."
Jack turned to look back at her, giving her an amused look. "Shall do." He paused, as if reluctant to leave. When he finally spoke, the amusement had been replaced with quiet sincerity. "I wasted so much time, Sam, making myself believe I was doing the right thing without really doing it. Maybe this isn´t right, but at least I´m going to be consistent about it."
She didn´t have a reply and he wasn´t expecting one. He only gave her one last look, then let himself out of her apartment. It was several minutes after the sound of his hurried footsteps had faded before Sam climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom.
/-
Half running, Jack was making a beeline for the lobby elevators when a nervous but still determined voice stopped him in his tracks. "Agent Malone?"
He turned to see Caroline White walk quickly towards him and he felt his shoulders slump a little as he took in the haggard look on her face. She looked like she hadn´t slept since he last spoke to her. Odds were that she hadn´t.
"I´m sorry to come unannounced," she spoke as she reached him. "I know you said you would call if there was any news, but… but it´s just been so long."
"It´s quite all right, I understand," Jack answered pleasantly, no trace of urgency or impatience in his voice despite the hurry he was in. He put a comforting hand or her shoulder, gently guiding her toward the elevator. "Why don´t you ride up with me and I´ll have one of my agents tell you what we have found so far. I would do it myself, but I´m late for a meeting."
She nodded gratefully, "Okay, thank you."
The elevator doors opened and they and four other people stepped in. Two of the women obviously knew each other and were soon involved in a hushed but heated discussion about whether Denise in cubicle seven was pregnant or if she had only gained weight. And if she were pregnant, did Robert in accounting know anything about it. Jack sighed and tried to tune out their voices, not the least interested in office gossip. Instead he thought of the frazzled woman standing beside him, noticing how she was continuously wringing her hands in an unconscious way. He wondered what news he might have to give her in a few days, and then wondered if he would have any news to give her at all. That was the worst part, not being able to tell anything at all.
He had seen pain in people´s eyes in so many forms by now - pain from learning that something they firmly believed in had been nothing but lies or deception, pain when hope began to fade and pain from hearing that a loved one wouldn´t return home alive. But the worst kind was the pain that showed when at last Jack had to admit that: 'I'm sorry, but we don´t know'. Something just died in their eyes after those words and Jack would feel himself lose just one more smidgen of faith in the world. If not himself.
When they finally reached their floor, they were the last people to exit the elevator.
"Okay, just go straight ahead," Jack pointed in direction of the bullpen, "and tell them I sent you. They´ll fill you in, but…" He looked at her kindly, not wanting to destroy her last hope, but also knowing it was essential he didn´t make any promises. Not after so long. "But don´t expect too much. We´re doing our best, but it takes time."
She didn´t speak, but nodded lightly, holding his eyes briefly before slowly walking away. Jack watched her retreating back for a few seconds, then tore himself loose and headed for Van Doren´s office. It was long past 9; she would not be happy.
/-
The flicker of her monitor was hurting her eyes and Vivian found herself regretting not offering to go with Martin and Danny earlier. She knew without a doubt that she would end up having a splitting headache by the time it was time to go home. Too bad really. She had actually woken up in a quite cheerful and energized mood this morning, but although if it wasn´t even noon yet, her high spirits had all but gone.
She had arrived at work early, eager to get started and when Danny arrived his usual optimistic self, they had shared a few laughs, the tension from the previous day forgotten. Even Martin, who had been somewhat quiet when he showed up, perked up a little, offering a few jokes of his own. Of course, that was before Jack called in to say he would be late, shortly followed by Samantha calling in to say the same. The mood had deteriorated noticeably after that.
Danny had pretended nothing was wrong, but Martin had grown silent, immersing himself in paperwork. Viv herself had decided to give both the latecomers the benefit of the doubt, or to be precise, give Jack the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes people were just plain late, but it had nagged at her nonetheless, particularly whenever her gaze fell on Martin´s bent head. Vivian was a keen observer and had known about him and Samantha for some time, but had never commented on it as it wasn´t any of her business. Besides, it had seemed like they wanted to keep their relationship under wraps as it were. At least Samantha had seemed to want to keep it that way, a fact that eventually began to frustrate Martin a little from what Viv had observed.
As a woman, she had no problems following Sam´s reasoning. People were always quick to pass out labels and women in a rather male dominated profession were particularly vulnerable. That there might be another reason for Sam´s reluctance had crossed her mind as well, but she had chosen not to dwell on it. It was just easier that way.
Viv sighed. It had almost been a relief when Caroline White approached them, asking for any information they had to give, thus reminding them all that they were actually at work. It had taken a depressingly short time to bring her up to speed and Caroline White had left more downcast than she arrived. It served as a wakeup call, and when an apologetic Samantha arrived not long afterwards, everything was apparently back to normal - one quick glance from Martin notwithstanding. So when Jack walked up twenty minutes later, everybody was busy on the phone or computer and the news he had only served to chase personal troubles further from their minds.
"The forensics report just got back. They found no traces of blood, but Deborah Harrison´s hair and fingerprints were found in James Crowther´s van. Danny, Martin, bring him in."
Vivian looked at her watch; they should be back soon. Perhaps the day wouldn´t be so bad after all.
/-
James Crowther was very thin, very pale and very quiet. He hadn´t spoken two words to anyone since Danny and Martin arrived at his doorstep to take him in for questioning, and Jack now wondered if the man was being very stubborn or very stupid.
"Are you sure you don´t want a lawyer present, Mr. Crowther?"
He shook his head and Jack sighed, sensing Danny at his right side doing the same.
"Please speak out loud, sir. The interview is being recorded and we need to hear your statement."
Crowther scratched his cheek, looking down firmly at the table. Then he shook his head again, speaking practically inaudibly, "No, no lawyer."
"Could you repeat that?" Danny asked.
"I said no lawyer," Crowther spoke more forcefully as he looked up, a certain look of distaste showing on his face. "All they ever do is get you into greater trouble."
"Okay, then," Danny looked to Jack, who took out a couple of sheets of paper from a folder, placing them on the table in front of Crowther.
"I´m sure I don´t have to explain to you what a forensics report is, Mr. Crowther. Everybody who watches television knows that. Instead, I would like for you to explain to me why we have found Deborah Harrison´s fingerprints on the door handle and dashboard of your van."
"She occasionally rides with me."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Where to?"
"Mainly shopping."
Jack studied the man sitting before him. He didn´t appear overly defensive, more like sullen and suspicious. It did make sense, though, that he would be this way even if innocent. While studying the man´s old record, Jack had come to the conclusion that James Crowther had received some very bad advice in the past from an inexperienced defense attorney, advising him to plea when he probably could have walked free. However, his attitude wasn´t helping.
"Why didn´t you tell us sooner?"
"I forgot."
"You forgot?" Danny rose and stepped around the table, leaning down to speak directly into Crowther´s face, "Did I forget to tell you that you´re the number one suspect in Deborah Harrison´s disappearance? You have no alibi. You were on friendly terms with her so she would get into a car with you. A witness places a white Ford at the scene as well as a woman who matches Deborah´s description. We have found her prints and hair in your van, so really, sir, I would advise you to get that memory of yours working because it´s looking really bad for you right now."
Crowther crossed his arms, turning his face away. "I have nothing else to say. I didn´t take her anywhere and I haven´t done anything to her. Why would I? She was always nice to me."
"So you´re maintaining that you were in your office at the time it happened and that the fingerprints and hair are old ones?" Jack asked.
"Yes."
"Well," Jack rose, "sorry, but that just isn´t good enough." He walked over to the intercom on the wall, locking eyes with James Crowther as he spoke into it, "Take him downstairs. Mr. Crowther will be staying here with us for a little while."
Danny sat down on the edge of the table, tilting his head as he watched Crowther with a tiny smirk. "You still sure about not wanting that lawyer?"
/-
The café was a small and quite cozy place, serving decent food to decent prices. Martin and Sam had been there a couple of times before on the rare occasions work allowed them to actually have a proper lunch break. It was a little after 1 pm and the place was crowded, but they lucked out as another couple just rose to leave when they arrived. Sam quickly went over to secure the table at the window, while Martin stepped up to the counter to order their food. He returned about five minutes later, balancing two sodas and two cups of coffee in his hands.
Samantha watched him as he came over and smiled faintly, "Not taking any chances I see?"
"Nope." Martin sat down across the table, giving her a brief smile of his own as he handed her a soda and the cup of coffee. "You always change your mind and want something else, so this time I´m trying to play it safe."
The smile on Sam´s face stiffened almost imperceptibly, but Martin noticed nonetheless. However, he chose not to comment on it, feeling that whatever it was, he would learn soon enough. He had been surprised when she approached him earlier in the office and quietly asked if he wanted to grab a bite somewhere. Since there had been a slight lull in their work after James Crowther was brought downstairs, he had agreed even if he wasn´t really sure he wanted to. The look on her face had been so grave that he had just known she was about to tell him something bad, but on their way there she had seemingly relaxed and even laughed with him as he told her about this crappy movie he had seen. Also, he had noticed a long look from Jack as they walked to the elevators - a look that wasn´t exactly pleased - so now he didn´t really know what to expect. Other than to expect something.
They chatted idly while waiting for their food, but Martin couldn´t help but notice how Samantha gradually grew more and more tense, her fingers playing with her napkin constantly and the time between her replies becoming longer and longer. When at last their burgers arrived, they had been sitting in silence for a couple of minutes.
Martin took a bite, chewing as he watched Sam lift the burger to her mouth only to put it back down right away.
He swallowed. "Something wrong?"
"No, no," she said hastily. "It´s fine."
"I can get you something else?"
"No, really," Sam smiled with a light shake of her head, "it´s fine. I´m suddenly just not very hungry."
Martin looked at her, suddenly not feeling very hungry himself and he put the burger back on the plate, reaching for a napkin to wipe his hands. "Sam," he spoke in a calm but tired voice. "Why are we here?"
She hesitated and he could tell she was torn between pretending she didn´t know what he was talking about and coming forward with what was on her mind. To his relief, she finally chose the latter.
Taking a deep breath, she said quietly, "I can´t see you any more, Martin."
Martin felt the lump build in his throat. He had been expecting this, but now that the words were out, the pain they caused still surprised him. He cleared his throat a few times, breaking eye contact to look out of the window as he inquired just as quietly, "Why not?"
"It´s, it´s not right. I mean, it´s not fair to you." She sounded rushed and nervous. "I care for you, Martin, I really do, but I´m just not ready for this- this type of commitment, I-"
"Cut the bullshit, Sam." Martin slowly turned his head to meet her anxious gaze. "Just tell it like it is. I´m more into you than you´re into me, it´s that simple."
She swallowed a few times, then nodded quickly in acknowledgement, "Yes. I´m sorry."
"So, is it back to Jack now?" Martin knew his voice was bitter and resentful, but he didn´t care.
Sam flinched. "No, of course not. That´s over for good."
He studied her, noticing how a faint blush rose to her cheeks as she turned her head slightly sideways to avoid his stare. He leaned across the table, commanding softly, "Look at me. Sam, look at me."
Reluctantly she did.
What he saw caused pure fury to well up in him, his mind going completely blank as he struggled to take in the realization. It was several moments before he could speak, his voice practically dripping with disgust, "You slept with him."
It was a statement, not a question.
She flinched again, this time as if she had been hit by a physical blow and all colour was gone from her face now. He wondered for a second if she was going to deny it, almost daring her to, but then she said in a low whisper, "I´m sorry."
"How many times," he spat out, his head filling with nauseating images of Samantha and Jack sneaking off together whenever he was looking the other way.
"Just once."
"When?"
She said something inaudibly.
"When?" he repeated loudly, causing a few heads to turn their way. "I didn´t hear you."
Anger flashed in her eyes and it both pleased and aggravated him further, wondering what she possibly could have to say to defend herself. However, she surprised him when she finally spoke, her voice calm, if very quiet, "Last night. It wasn´t planned, it just happened." She reached out, as if to touch his hand, but stopped herself as he violently snatched it away. Looking down, she said softly, "I´m so sorry. I really am."
Martin shook his head angrily, struggling with all the thoughts and impulses that assaulted him from everywhere, causing him to go momentarily mum. So instead he rose abruptly, nearly causing his chair to topple over. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a few bills, throwing them on the table as he found his voice and spoke coldly, "I think this should cover it."
He stared at her, but she wouldn´t look up.
"Bon Appétit!"
He left without looking back.
/-
"Wait! Hold the elevator!"
Jack immediately held out a hand, preventing the doors from closing and they slowly slid back open to reveal a half running Samantha. However, she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him, and Jack would have been amused if it hadn´t been for the look on her face. She was completely frozen for a couple of seconds, but then she resumed her walk and stepped into the elevator beside him.
"Hey," Jack smiled, glad that they were alone for once. "How was lunch?"
She didn´t answer and didn´t look at him either, keeping her gaze straight ahead.
He bit his lip, wondering if he should ask, but before he could decide, she beat him to it, speaking with a listlessness that shocked him. "Don´t say anything, Jack, not now, okay?"
"Sam, I-"
He halted instantly as her head snapped towards him, her eyes filled with something frighteningly close to hatred. They stared at each other for a moment, then the expression in her eyes changed, slowly turning into one of dull weariness and she looked away.
Jack knew better, but was too unsettled not to speak. "Is everything okay with you?"
She let out a long slow breath before answering, "No, everything isn´t okay with me."
"Is there-"
"I´m sick and tired of this," she spoke softly, almost as if she was speaking to herself. "I´m sick and tired of this job, I´m sick and tired of you, but most of all…" She turned her head to look into his concerned eyes. "But most of all, I´m sick and tired of myself."
They reached their floor and the doors opened soundlessly, but neither made a move to get out of the elevator and nobody was waiting for it either. Jack didn´t try to say anything as he knew Sam wasn´t done. She wrapped her arms around her, glanced down for a second before looking back at him, her face composed but her eyes pained.
"I don´t like myself very much right now, Jack, and I particularly don´t like myself around you, so just leave me alone, okay? Whatever we had, it´s in the past and I don´t want to go there again. Last night was a mistake and it won´t happen again."
They stared at each other and Jack didn´t know what shook him the most: the finality behind her words or the complete lack of life in her eyes. The elevator doors began to close again, but Sam was the only one to step out. She turned back to look at him, holding his gaze as long as it was possible and the last thing he heard before the closing of the doors was a softly spoken, "Goodbye, Jack."
TBC…