Ok Hey everyone this is my second fanfic I hope you like it
How Love Works
Chapter 1: Leukemia
She swallowed hard and could taste the blood in her mouth again. She quickly ran to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.
"Damn it" she swore softly as she spit out a mouthful of blood.
She waited, bent over the toilet, until the blood stopped coming. She rinsed her mouth out and wiped her face roughly, swearing again. When was it going to end? She went back up to the office, the metallic taste still in her mouth.
As she walked in she saw Bosco staring at her, he didn't know, but he knew something was up. Tomorrow morning was her first dose of chemotherapy. She wished this had never happened, she wished she'd never gotten sick. At least if she had, she wished it had happened earlier, when she had someone like Bosco, Monroe or Lettie. Now, she had no one. Manny had promised that she wasn't alone out on the streets but what about after work. That's what she was afraid of, dying alone. She shook the thoughts out of her head and gathered up her things. Bosco walked over to her and gently placed his hand on her arm
"Hey, you ok?" Cruz nodded "Yeah, I'm fine" she tried to brush him off but he wouldn't go. "Cruz? You have blood on your lips" Bosco said gently, though the panic rose in his voice "What's going on" Cruz put a hand over her mouth "Nothing" she mumbled brushing past him.
She walked briskly back to the bathroom and wiped her mouth off again. Damn, now Bosco knows something's up! She put her head in her hands what am I going to do? She looked back up, double checked for any tell-tale marks then walked back out. Bosco was waiting for her "Look, Cruz I know that we haven't gotten along lately, but what's going on? You're really pale and now your mouth is bleeding?"
Cruz pushed him aside "Look, you don't care about me, if you did you never would have done the things you did. You just want to know what's going on, well you know what? Screw you!"
Bosco backed away,stung. "Look, Cruz, I just want to help" Cruz nearly melted then and there "Why Bosco? You never wanted to help before" He nodded "I know…Cruz a letter arrived for you today, from the Cancer Society of America. When I was at the desk mail came in and it was on top" Panic wrenched Cruz's stomach "Who else saw?" "No one, I put it in my jacket, I figured you wouldn't want anyone to see it. Cruz, what's going on?" She closed her eyes and finally gave in "Come up to the office" He followed her to the office and she shut the door behind them "I have Leukemia"
Bosco just gaped "No, not you, you don't" Cruz nodded, tears pricking the back of her eyes "I do" Bosco wanted to hit something, she couldn't have cancer, she had no one to help her, to be with her. "I will" he murmured. Cruz looked up "What?" "I want to be there with you, I don't want you to be alone" Cruz nearly fainted with relief "Bosco?" He nodded "I don't know, I don't want anyone to see me, I'll lose my hair or be bent over the toilet throwing up, I don't want you to see me looking weak" "Weak? Cruz, this will be the hardest thing you've ever done in your life and you're worried about looking weak? Cruz you aren't weak" Cruz nodded slowly "My appointment is tomorrow at ten, it's my first dose of chemo" "I'll be there" Bosco said. A lone tear slipped down Cruz's cheek. "Thank you"
That morning as soon as she sat up Cruz's gums started to bleed again. She grabbed the Kleenex beside her bed and tried to soak up the blood. Her legs shook and she felt cold, she had never felt sick before and she assumed this was because she had lost blood. She waited until she stopped bleeding then got up. She pulled on her NYPD sweater and jogging pants, she wanted to be as comfortable as possible. Bosco came to get her at 9:30 and she nervously grabbed her overnight bag and got in the car.
Bosco glanced at her "You ok?" She nodded, not saying anything. When they got to the hospital they sat down in the waiting room. Cruz nearly broke down in tears.
A young mother, not more than 25 sat with her two children in her lap. One looked about two and the other was just a baby. The mother had no hair and an anxious looking man stood over the three of them with inexpressible love on his face. The mother was gently singing to her two year old. Cruz choked back a sob and Bosco glanced over to see what she was looking at.
He put his arm around her and held her tightly "It's ok, shh, it's ok" She looked up, tears in her eyes "No it's not, that poor mother she just had a baby, it should be the happiest time of her life and she has to spend it worrying about her cancer" Bosco didn't know what to say to this. Dr. Wills, Cruz's doctor came out, "Ms. Cruz, you can come in now"
Cruz stood up, wiping tears away quickly and let Bosco lead her into the room. They followed the doctor to a hospital room and he told Cruz to change into a hospital gown. When she had gotten settled into the bed Dr. Wills began to explain the process to her. "What are the side effects?" Cruz asked bluntly. The Dr. nodded "You could get a rash or lose your hair. You'll be very fatigued and nauseous; sometimes vomiting accompanies the nausea especially the first dose. You could also get sores in your mouth but they will be the least of the problems. We're going to start you on an intravenous line, since it's your first time and keep you overnight, but then we'll set you up with a portable intravenous line"
Cruz nodded "Will I be sharing a room with someone tonight?" The doctor nodded "Her name's Amy, she's gone through a lot more chemo than you have, I think you two may be able to talk a bit, she can help you."
The doctor left to get the intravenous line. Cruz looked up at Bosco "Thanks for coming with me" Bosco nodded, he was overwhelmed.
The doctor came back and hooked it up then left a bowl at the side of Cruz's bed. When she asked what it was for he said "Like I said, you'll be extremely nauseous and weak, it'll be easier for you to use that to be sick instead of running to the bathroom. Nurses will be coming in periodically to check you, you can call if you need one" he pointed out the buzzer on the side of the bed then left. Cruz laid back against the pillow and waited for the drugs to take effect.
Bosco left to go to work About a half hour later Amy came in. Cruz remembered her, she was the mother from the waiting room.
"Hi" Amy said gently "You're new here" Cruz nodded "I just found out I have leukemia, well, I didn't just find out, I just started taking treatment." Amy nodded in understanding "I saw you earlier in the waiting room" Cruz nodded "I saw you too" Cruz turned a bit as the memory of Amy with her children and husband came back "You have beautiful children, what are their names?" Amy beamed "The baby's name is Miranda Anne and the two year old it Tyler Jeremy"
A tear slipped down Cruz's cheek again, Amy noticed and smiled sympathetically. Cruz shook her head "I don't understand how you can be so happy, you have two gorgeous kids and a wonderful husband but you have cancer"
Amy nodded "They're the reason I am happy, without them…" she broke off "I saw you with a man, is he your husband?" Cruz shook her head "No, that's Bosco, we went out for a while but then it didn't work out. He found out about the leukemia and said he didn't want me to be alone." "Wow, that doesn't sound like someone that it didn't work out with. Not many men would stick around just for someone they know, this is almost as hard on them as it is on us"
Later that night Bosco came back. It was midnight and Cruz was already asleep, but Bosco could tell from the deep circles under her eyes and her weak posture that the drugs had indeed taken full effect.
He stepped outside and went to talk to the doctor "Dr. Wills, how is she doing?" "As well as can be expected, we should have started chemo earlier. The chemo is hard on her though. Her body is very small and it's harder for her to handle it than for others. She was very sick tonight and will be for the next while, I'd like to keep her for tomorrow as well to make sure she doesn't get de hydrated."
Bosco nodded and went back into Cruz's room. He sat beside her and fell asleep in the chair holding her hand firmly in his.