Dragonball Z- Broken trust
Author- Luna P aka Nikki
Rating- RRRRRRRRRRRRRR I said it once and I'll say it again RRRRRRRRRRR yes this fanfiction is an R rated fic if you are fearful it is time for you to leave otherwise enjoy…
Warning- Um lets see uh there was something…yaoi, rape basically mature content if you are immature and such situations offend you or repulse you I think it would be best for you if you leave before I damage your fragile psyche n.n
Summary- Truten Trunks has wronged Goten but he has no memory of it, Goten decides to suffer in silence rather than burden his best friend. Will he be ok or will it slowly tear him apart and will Trunks notice before it's too late?
Disclaimer- (Sniffs) No sadly the characters are not mine if they were there would be an entire series devoted to the relationship between Trunks and Goten and then perhaps another series devoted to the relationship between Goku and Vegeta but alas twas not meant to be (sniffs.)
GoTrinba- Yay I'm so happy that you're still reading and that it's making you laugh…I didn't actually intend for that but oh well at least it didn't make you abandon my fic. I just want to say a huge thank you for all your encouraging words it means so much to me that people like what I write so a big thanks to you and I really hope that you enjoy this chappie and keep with it n.n
Kiko cat- Yay thanks for keeping with it that means a lot to me so all I can say is a huge thank you and I hope that this chappie lives up to your expectations. Sorry I can't say anymore at the mo but I've gotta go out n.n
Selphie-4-Ever- Yay a new reviewer it's always good to see a fresh face of I this case read a fresh review…uh…I think…oh well can I just say a huge thank you to you for reviewing, I'm really glad that there are people out there enjoying my fanfiction, it means a lot to say the least, well I hope that you like this chapter and that I will hear from you again n.n
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Normal POV
"One of you is going to tell me who did this to Goten and then I am going to go and kill them…got that?" Vegeta and Goku froze did Trunks truly mean those words? It sounded like he had but if that were true then when he discovered that it had been him whom had molested Goten how far would he go? What would he do to ensure that those words had been the truth? They both knew and they both worried about it. Goten just stared at Trunks, he couldn't tell him, he just couldn't if he did he knew that it would tear him apart and he couldn't be responsible for that. He couldn't let that happen, not to the one he loved.
"Trunks is right this monster deserves to pay! Why can't you guys see that?"
"Enough!" Goten growled glancing around the room to see that he now had everyone's undivided attention. "He's not a monster…it's a complicated situation but he wasn't himself and therefore it wasn't his fault. If I am able to accept that then so should everyone else." He explained, his eyesight lingering on Trunks and the elders reaction for perhaps a fraction of a second longer than it should have.
"Well I can't Goten…" Trunks practically whispered "I need to know who did this and I need to exact revenge. Ten-chan…you're my best friend, all I want to do is protect you…" No one moved, no one spoke or did anything just continued to stare at Trunks as if he had sprouted wings or had started speaking an alien language, which he hadn't. "TELL ME! NOW!"
"IT WAS YOU OK!" The words had left Goten's mouth before he'd even had a chance to think about them. And just then, just like that, those words that had slipped past his lips unnoticed by himself could never be taken back. He had just made the classic mistake of speaking before he'd had a chance to think. He'd leapt before he'd looked and hadn't measured the distance between the branches meaning that his face was now metaphorically buried into the pavement. Blue eyes and ebony eyes locked, blue eyes clouded with confusion and disbelief and ebony eyes with shock and regret at what he had just said.
"W…w…w…what?" Bulma stuttered her glance bouncing around the four men that were in the room with her. Each and every one of them seemed to be off in their own little worlds. At this point Goten knew for a fact that he had just made the biggest mistake of his life. He'd let something slip that he'd fought so hard to keep secret and he regretted it so much you wouldn't believe. Yet there was this annoying little voice in the back of his head that just kept laughing. Kept waiting for Trunks' reaction and was glad at what had just happened, that little part of his mind had wanted this, had wanted to know what Trunks' reaction would be for so long. And it had finally got what it had wanted. How happy it must have been but now for that Goten had to suffer…hadn't he done enough of that to last him a lifetime?
"No" that was the only word Trunks was able to whisper as everything began to sink in. What Goten had just told him wasn't true; he would never hurt Goten, never it was just impossible for him to do so. He cared so much for the younger…his mind trailed off at that moment. Trailed off to a flash, a memory, of a hazy red image…the pain the blood the screams. The metallic taste of Goten's blood in his mouth, his teeth piercing the younger's skin and the mark on Goten's neck that acted as proof. Did that mean that everything Goten had said had been the truth? His heart flipped, he'd hate himself forever if he discovered that was the case.
Blue eyes, sparkled with a small amount of tears that the elder boy refused to let fall. Was that because he didn't care enough? Because he was in the presence of his father? Or something else? Goten really wanted…no…needed to know. "Please… please chibi, tell me that isn't true?" The lilac haired saiyan-jin was almost begging, what would happen now if Goten lied and equally what would happen if he told the truth? He didn't want to lie to Trunks anymore but he didn't want to cause him any pain either.
"Gomen…Trunks…" he whispered and he truly was sorry. Sorry he couldn't lie and tell him that he had been joking, sorry that he couldn't ease Trunks' pain and regret, and sorry most of all because there was that small part of him that had been waiting to see that pain. There was that small part of him that needed to see it so that it could find justice and prove that Trunks was a decent guy. A guy that felt bad when he found out that he had done wrong. He needed the satisfaction of seeing Trunks fall apart because of what he had done and for that he hated himself.
"You're lying…right? This is some sort of joke isn't it?" Trunks asked still refusing to believe that he had done something soo horrible, so unimaginable and so cruel to someone he cared for so much.
"No…Trunks…no he's not and deep down you know that" Vegeta explained, suddenly everything just seemed click and realisation of what he had done dawned on Trunks. Everything became clear and he wished that it could return to the fuzzy haze that it had once been. He didn't want to know that he had raped Goten he didn't want to have the images of it plague his mind. Now…now that he knew…after fighting to find out the truth…now he just wanted to forget it all.
"Hey Trunksie, what's going on?" Mina asked as she poked her head around the doorframe, peering into the lab as she tried to work out what all the yelling had been about.
"I thought I told you to get out of my house" Bulma growled catching sight of the girl in the doorway. Trunks and Goten stared at each other for a while, each wanting for the other to act and tell them what to do. Neither wanting to go with any instincts that they were having at present. After all instinct was the thing that got them into this situation to begin with, if it wouldn't have been for their saiyan-jin instincts nothing would have changed and their friendship would still be as it had been.
"Yeah, come on Mina, let's get you home…I need time to think" Trunks explained tearing his gaze away from Goten's and leaving the silent lab. Safe to say that reaction had shocked just about everyone, the way he could just get up and leave after everything he had just heard was mind boggling. What kind of a friend was he? Five seconds ago he had been sat there swearing to kill the person responsible and then when he discovered that it had been him. He'd just walked away…he hadn't even said sorry, Goten had never expected for that kind of reaction and he had expected a lot. But for Trunks to just brush it off and ignore it like nothing had happened was…well it hurt…it hurt a lot…
Walking out of the house Trunks glanced back at the house. None of that could be true…but it was…he had just found out that he had raped Goten. He wasn't a friend he was as Bulma had said a monster.
'One of you is going to tell me who did this to Goten and then I am going to go and kill them…got that?' His own words rang in his head, deafening him, it was strange he wanted revenge on himself for what he had done to Goten. As he had stood there when Goten had told him the truth, he just wanted the younger to stand up and punch him. He wanted him to anything but just sit there looking so forgiving and so understand him. Trunks didn't care if Goten was somehow able to move on…what he had done was unforgivable and he needed to be punished. If not by Goten then by his own hands.
"You ok Trunks?" And why on earth had he just walked out like that? Just turned his back like it hadn't affected him. It had affected him infact it had had such an impact on him that he didn't know what to do. He just wanted to turn to Goten and ask for advice but he couldn't not after what he had done. He didn't even feel worthy enough to stare at Goten anymore. Not after what he had done…he had taken his best friend's innocence by force. What kind of caring compassionate friend did that? Second thought what man in his right mind did that? Blood crashed into his head, clearing away every memory and every emotion. And it made him feel as good as dead. After all at the moment that's what he wanted to be…
Bleed these sins away…The words rang in his head but they weren't his, everything that he had done all the pain that he had caused he just wanted to get rid of them. Wanted to watch them float away on his blood, like little ships floating on a crimson river. He wanted to forget and he didn't want to wake up to the harsh remembrance of what he had done…it just hurt…it hurt too much. He'd killed so many in the name of justice, caused innocents to suffer along the way. That had hurt him but that pain was a mere scratch to what he was feeling now.
Now his whole body, heart, soul, and mind was heavy and painful just for being in existence. Now the people he had hurt…Goten…he could see Goten's blood on his hands. He could see pain and hear screams, watched as the smaller boy writhed beneath him and he heard himself laugh. Clasping his hands over his ears he desperately tried to block out the noise but it just wouldn't leave. It was his punishment but he still believed that it wasn't enough. He needed to somehow prove to Goten that he truly was sorry. What better way was there than to keep his promise?
"Hey Trunks…you ok dude?" He glanced up to meet sympathetic golden eyes staring at him. A hand lightly pressed on his shoulder; he flinched away from the touch… people shouldn't feel sorry for him. People shouldn't touch him and people couldn't get close to him. It was just too dangerous for them now…
"Don't touch me!" He screamed gaining the attention of everyone in the park; a low growl came from Kai as he walked closer to where Rei was sat on the floor. "Gomen…" Trunks whispered noticing that he had accidentally pushed Rei over… see… he was hurting people again he hadn't meant to hurt Rei he just hadn't been paying attention to how much strength he had used to push the younger boy away. Gently Kai helped his friend from the floor and shot Trunks a death glare. Vegeta appeared in Trunks' mind scowling just the same…he just wanted to escape…
Bleed these sins away…The words kept repeating in the back of his mind…the blood kept flowing to his brain and sights unwanted kept appearing before his eyes. Goten arching in pain to meet Trunks' brutal thrusts…and then there were the tears…the small pure tears that glistened in the crimson moonlight. The small sounds of quiet pleas…begging for him to stop. And then the chuckling, the sound of him…sounding so heartless and cruel, his hands clenched at his sides, he didn't want to remember anymore. It hurt too much…
"He was just trying to help you, you bastard…it looked like you were in pain…" Kai growled holding Rei protectively at his side as he snarled at the boy that was now crouching on the floor. Holding his head in his hands and whispering one word every so often 'stop…'
"Trunks! Hey what did you two do to him? Back off!" Mina growled appearing at Trunks' side and crouching beside him. Kai was right…it looked like he was in pain because he was in pain and he didn't want to feel this pain anymore…he didn't want to feel anything anymore. He just wanted to be at peace…to be at rest…
"No Mina…just go home…I need to talk to them…" he needed to tell someone needed for someone to hurt him. He couldn't take the silence anymore… Kai was sure to hit him…he was the type and he was sure to make it hurt. Sure to make him bleed, that's what he wanted…no needed…he needed to feel pain… because at present he couldn't feel anything else. Couldn't feel the wind as it blew through his hair, couldn't feel the sun heat his skin, couldn't feel Mina's hand resting on his shoulder.
"Oh…uh…ok…I'll call you later Trunks!" She yelled as she ran off through the park he wondered how much she knew. She had been in the house all that time through all the shouting through the confession of a lifetime. She acted oblivious but that couldn't be true. How could she not know but if she had heard why had she decided to let him walk her home? He couldn't be trusted…why had people trusted him? Why had Goten trusted him?
"I'm in pain…" Rei and Kai glanced at each other in confusion wondering where the conversation was heading. "Because of what I did to him…"
Bleed these sins away…"Goten?" Rei asked but it seemed as though they both know whom he had been talking about. Kai's eyes narrowed dangerously, he wondered if this was it…if now was the time for the truth to escape and be heard by everyone who cared to know? He for one felt that he needed to know, but glancing at Trunks he wondered if that were a wise thing to need. It had obviously caused a great amount of pain to come to the lilac haired boy. Not physically, that had always been the easiest type of pain to bare, but mentally. For mentally it had crushed him…
"What did you do Trunks?" The words just floated away like balloons, it seemed as though they had no tether to tie them to this world and so escaped. Looking to go elsewhere. Trunks just glanced at his wrists, the saiyan-jin blood pumping through his veins. The royal saiyan-jin blood, he didn't deserve to have it within him, it would be better off spilled over the cold concrete ground then within him. With a heart such as his circulating it around his body.
"I raped him" he awaited the punch, waited to greet it with open arms. Waited for the pain as his jaw shattered and blood pooled in the back of his throat, waited for when he would be able to cough it up and see it on the ground where he felt it belonged. Waited…waited…but it never came…there was just silence, the same cursed silence as before, glancing up there were the same looks. Disappointment, distrust and the ever present disbelief. He didn't want to see that look anymore, he noticed that he had caught the attention of several passer buyers. An old lady and her friend a young mother and her daughter and a man who really couldn't care less about anyone other than himself.
"Do you regret it?" Trunks nodded, of course he regretted it he hated himself for it… who wouldn't regret it? What selfish maniac wouldn't regret raping their best friend… stripping them of their purity? Forcing them to scream their name until their throat was sore and horse? And then forgetting all about it the next day? He felt like a monster and he wanted to be treated like one. Hunted down and killed, but no one did it, just gave him the same look, the same ghostly look of sorrow. And that hurt more than any right hook or low blow ever would. A punch you could recover from, memories such as Trunks' you couldn't, they would be with him until the day he died.
Alone with a bleeding heart…Was that a reference to himself or to Goten or was it both. They both seemed to stand alone their hearts battered and bruised and irreparable, everything just hurt so much. It was as if his heart was telling him to just give up…just leave the world and let it go on without him…
Death waits for you with open arms…
Nothing would change, the world would keep spinning, gravity would keep pulling, rain would keep falling. His heart would just stop beating and his soul would cease to exist… that would be all. And it wouldn't be a burden on the world or it's occupants, it would merely free him from the distressing pain of life. Let him go, let him escape… let him be…
Kai went to speak again but before anything could be said Trunks was gone…it was as if he had just flown away. Disappeared into thin air leaving nothing but one fading tear on the floor. He only ever seemed to shed tears that no one saw…too proud to let people see how distraught he actually was. He truly was a saiyan-jin Prince and Vegeta's son…but every son must leave and every Prince must fall Trunks was no exception to that rule…
"What's going on with me dad? Vegeta-sama?" Goten finally broke the silence, trying to forget all about Trunks' slightly bizarre reaction. Something kept telling him that he never would, he'd never forget that look shimmering in the azure depths not because he didn't want to but because he couldn't. He couldn't forget the look of pure sorrow and regret for the simple reason that it meant Trunks cared. If he regretted doing it then he must care, right? Sighing he ran his hand through his hair, but of course that didn't explain why he had just left like he had. They had soo much to talk about and he just ran away, since when did Trunks Briefs run away from something?
"Oh…uh…it's very simple really…" Goku started, nudging Vegeta as if trying to prompt the elder to continue with what he had previously been saying. With a deep intake of breath Vegeta went to finish his koi's sentence when Bulma butted into the conversation at the most inappropriate of times…
"Wait…that mark on Goten's neck…I've seen that before… you two…does that mean that he's Trunks' mate?" Vegeta and Goku glanced at each other surprised that it had taken her so long to work it out. Wasn't she supposed to be a genius or something?
"Uh…" a deep shade of crimson tinted the creamy white skin of the young saiyan-jin as he thought of how to explain it to her without it becoming too embarrassing. "Yes but because I have not marked Trunks there is not a full bond. I can no longer seek other mates, Trunks can but it will have some effect on me. If I accept Trunks as my mate and mark him then it will be a complete bond and neither of us could seek other mates. But I would not do that unless I was sure it was what he wished." He explained, smiling he was proud of how that had sounded.
"But don't you see, he didn't care about any of that when he did it to you. I love my son unconditionally Goten, but I love you to and he did something so wrong to you. Why do you not wish to seek some sort of revenge?" Bulma asked stroking the boy's ebony hair lovingly. Goten smiled and glanced over at her. That was such an easy question to answer. He wondered why all of them couldn't be like that.
"Because I couldn't do that to him…I love him…" The words just seemed to hover in the room for a while. Goten couldn't help wondering if it was right to love the person that had raped him but he did. He couldn't do anything about that and he wouldn't even if he could. He wanted to give that love and he wished that one day it would be returned. At the moment he just figured that as long as Trunks was happy he was happy, because that was love. So what if he suffered as a result…Trunks was all that mattered to him right now. "Speaking of Trunks why did he go flying across the room earlier, why did my ki react like that and why did I absorb some of his?"
Goku sighed, "ah yes back to that…Vegeta?" The saiyan-jin Prince growled and shot the younger saiyan a look that said 'he's-you-son-why-should-I-do-it?' Goku just whimpered and glanced at his koi his the puppy-dog eyes sparkling in the dim light. Vegeta growled angrily but glancing at Goten he decided that it was something he needed to know. Everyone want's the best for their kids and ok Goten wasn't his but he had been mated by his son and he was his koi's son so that was good enough. In his eyes anyway, he didn't care about what anyone else thought never had and never would.
The new-found ki in the house alerted the saiyan-jin's to Trunks' return. His bedroom window must have been open, no one had been expecting for him to use the front door anyway. He probably would have broken in before facing all of them again. And because of that they all pitied him. But Trunks wasn't the type that would want to be pitied by anyone or for anything. So after a few seconds of silence Vegeta began his explanation hopefully this time nothing and no one would interrupt him before he had a chance to say what was important.
"Well there's only one way to say this and that is, Goten…you're pregnant" a blink was the only reaction from the young saiyan-jin. What else could he do? He had just been told that he was pregnant as far as he knew that was impossible. As far as he knew. With a small whimper he turned to face Bulma as if for support and to make sure that what he thought about male pregnancy was actually true.
"I don't know whether you paid attention in biology class Vegeta but it is infact impossible for male's to conceive a child."
"Human male's yes, saiyan-jin male's no. It is infact very possible for male saiyan-jin's to bare a child. It's like a back up system, if there were no women around then because males could also conceive a child there would be no chance for the saiyan-jin race to run out." Vegeta explained "but a foetus growing inside of a male for some reason needs a lot more ki. This is while you have been feeling so drained lately Goten. Usually the child will take ki from both parents without either of them knowing as it is only small amounts at a time but…"
"Because Trunks and I are not together very often when he got close to me earlier it took his ki in order to sustain it's being." Goten finished, Vegeta nodded in agreement and then glanced over at Goku, sending him vibes that ordered for him to carry on now.
"Correct, of course now that has to continue because if the child does not get the amount of ki it needs, it will try to take it all from you. You are a strong saiyan-jin Goten and you could last longer than most. But giving out ninety per cent of your ki everyday would eventually kill you." Now that Goku thought about what he had just said he realised he could have sugarcoated it a bit more. However what he had said had been the truth and it was important that Goten knew about it. "Now there are a couple of things you need to know about this, the baby is already forming its saiyan powers. The ki that pushed Trunks away earlier was the ki of your child, it was basically saying that it had had enough. It would also do that to protect you from harm. If the baby thinks or feels that you are being threatened it will do it's best to protect you from whatever was doing the threatening got it?"
"Isn't that a little dangerous?" Bulma asked praying that she wasn't making Goten feel threatened in anyway. After seeing Trunks get thrown across the room earlier she was sure that she did not want that to happen to her. After all she was only human.
"Well yeah but you've got to understand, the only way for the unborn child to protect it's carrier parent…" Goku was very carefully steering away from the word 'mother' as he knew that Goten would not have been happy being associated with such a feminine title. "Is to detect the changes in the carriers mood and then use it's ki to… well…kill what is causing its parent any unnecessary stress. It's a survival strategy, it wants to protect its parents and itself and that is the only way it knows how." Vegeta smiled, he had never known Goku to sound so wise and professional it was sort of amazing to hear and made him love him slightly more. "The child is also bonded to Trunks and so in the next nine months whatever happens to him will have some affect on you and your baby…"
"Ahh!" Goten cut his father off and fell to the floor, clutching his stomach in pain. Something wasn't right… something wasn't right at all…
Meanwhile
Was he thinking with a clear mind? Of course not but that had never stopped people from acting on impulse before. He just couldn't take it anymore; it was becoming too much for him, overwhelming his senses…the irrepressible guilt never seeming to fade. How could he have done such a thing without Goten's permission? For a long time he had just passed the feelings he held for the younger off as care and a brotherly kind of love. After all they had grown up together, they'd done everything together, fought side by side to save the world time and time again. Hell they'd fused together to become one being, Gotenks, once upon a time. But he was slowly realising that it was more. It was the love of lovers…
Flashes of his childhood assaulted his eyes, the two of them as saiyan's training. Then the two of them sat shoving food down their throats in a way that would make Goku proud. Taking a bath together, him washing Goten's hair as the younger tried to find the bar of soap that had escaped his grasp, then of the sleeping in the same bed, hugging. The feel of his hand running through the soft ebony locks as Goten cried himself to sleep at the loss of his mother. And in the blink of an eye, with one mistake the trust that had always been present between the two had vanished, with just one stupid mistake. Was that it for them? Trunks didn't want to know if it was…
Bleed these sins away…The voice constantly cooing at him in the back of his mind he just couldn't take it anymore. Falling to his knees he finally admitted to himself that he was too weak to deal with something like this and that he would take the cowards way out. Take his own life, he didn't want to hurt Goten again and this was the only sure way to make sure he didn't. It wasn't honourable for a saiyan-jin to die in such a way, at the hands of himself. Saiyan-jin's were supposed to die in battle, fighting courageously until the last breath escaped them. But he felt that honour had gone out the window the second he had raped Goten.
Catching sight of himself in the mirror he struck out shattering the object into a thousand pieces. Causing the shards to appear at the bottom, creating a broken reflection of a broken soul. Reaching for one of the shards he pressed it to his wrist he couldn't help thinking how easy all of this was. A surge of pain as the glass ripped at the flesh, piercing into the veins that lay just below the surface and letting the crimson blood flow unrestrained. A thunderclap outside was followed by a downpour of rain, slumping against the edge of his bed he watched the water fall from the clouds. His mind focused on Goten more specifically the words he had spoken earlier than day…
'He's not a monster…it's a complicated situation but he wasn't himself and therefore it wasn't his fault. If I am able to accept that then so should everyone else.'
Those words almost made him regret what he had done. If Goten had forgiven him maybe they could move on…maybe they could become more than just friends. Sighing as the burning in his wrist subsided he knew that it was too late for any of that now. The blood coating his floor, he wondered how many pints he had spilled exactly, mirrored the water pooling on the ground outside.
"Trunks!" That was Goten's voice, he knew that by instinct he could also tell because of the ki. He had memorised Goten's ki so that when they were fighting he would know never to attack when Goten was in the way…he'd wanted to protect him, that was all…how badly he felt he'd failed… "What have you done…you can't leave me you bastard!" The younger screamed tears falling from his eyes and onto Trunks as he leaned in closer whispering, "you can't…because I love you…and I'm carrying your child…"
Bleed these sins away, because you're alone with a bleeding heart and death waits for you with open arms…
TBC
DBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZDBZNikki: Don't worry, I'm not done yet and things are about to get very interesting
K: When Nikki say's that things will get interesting she means that they are going to get confusing just thought you should know…
Nikki: And I shall have to explain things that have yet to be explained, if something so far has really got you confused then tell me in a review or e-mail and I shall try and give you an answer to it…
Watari: Coming to a computer screen near you
Chapter 7- Dreams of death and life…Everyone's roles are made clear and Mina's not about to let things lie, but can anyone stop her from getting what she wants?
K: CONFUSING!
Nikki: I will explain…next chapter if I get some nice feedback… I hope I haven't screwed everything up…