HARRY POTTER AND THE SEXY LLAMA
Chapter 5
"It is time for talents!" Dumbledore said to the 3rd years as the gathered around a stage that had been set up on the floor of the moving staircase room. "First, we have Mr. Erik Obey singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. After that, will be Professor McGonagall lip-syncing Digital Get Down. Then is Draco Malfoy singing I Touch Myself. Then is Keanu Reeves singing Cornerstore. Ethan Rose will be lip-syncing Such Great Heights. Finally, Ricky Ullman will be playing a piece he composed on the drums," Erik started to sing.
"Somewhere, over the rainbow," he sang, his voice cracking.
"This is painful," Leila said the Harry. He nodded. When Erik was done, Professor McGonagall got up and lip-synced to Digital Get Down, which is really a song about having cyber-sex. It was weird. Then Malfoy sang.
"I don't love anybody else, when I think about you," he said, pointing to Morgan. "I touch myself," Morgan blushed, but was happy at the same time. Then Keanu sang, his voice like a beautiful bird flying high above the clouds. Then Ethan lip-synced to a song that Paige loved, and one that he had sent to her. Finally Ricky played a complicated drum solo piece. Ricky, Keanu and Ethan all dedicated their songs to Paige. It was a very interesting night.
"I'm really tired," Hermione said. "I don't even know why. Maybe it was Erik's voice," Ron burst out laughing and everyone else chuckled at Hermione's comment AND Ron.
"Do you see what she does to me?" Ron said to Harry.
"She makes you look like a complete weirdo?" Harry said.
"Yes!" Ron said. Harry rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, Paige was still trying to make up her decision on which boy she wanted to be with. Leila's guys were still in a fistfight over her. The Great Hall's doors burst open in stalked another new boy named Matt. Matt was actually really hot, but he was sort of shallow. Erica, the girl that Ron was kissing, even though he barely knew her, looked at him and sighed.
"He is so hot," she said to Paige. Paige rolled her eyes.
"Ok, I know you like him, and I understand, but you gotta relax about this. You're crazy!" Paige said.
"He's still hot," Erica mumbled to herself. Just then, Malfoy was boasting about his broom record. Morgan sat down next to him.
"Draco, we're supposed to be studying for Divination," she said. Malfoy gave her a sly look. "What the hell does that mean?" she said. Malfoy got up without saying anything and took her the broom closet right outside of the Great Hall. Only a select few in Slytherin can bring up what they did in the closet. You should go ask them.
By now, Jub, the pirate (Jonny Depp) and the elfy-guy (Orlando Bloom) had settled down but were still fighting over who would get Leila. Ethan, Keanu and Ricky still all wanted Paige, but they fought over her without actually fighting if you know what I mean. All of the professors then got up on stage and started to do the robot to Mr. Robato. Funny. Filch stopped doing the robot and headed towards the broom closet because he needed to clean up some acid that come from the acid rain falling from the ceiling. He opened the door and there he found Malfoy totally doing stuff to Morgan that she didn't want him doing. Sorry, I can't tell you what.
"GET HIM THE FUCK OFF ME!" Morgan screamed. Filch grabbed Malfoy by his arm and dragged him away from the closet. Headmaster Dumbledore then stopped doing the robot and came to see what was going on. Morgan was sitting in the closet, in an uncomfortable position, I may add (sitting on top of a bunch of mops) crying. Malfoy was laughing in this weird way and Filch brought him to the Headmaster's office where they decided his punishment. And a horrible punishment it was. He was to be suspended, and when he came back, he had to mop every inch of Hogwarts every night before he went to sleep. They knew that he should have been expelled but Lucius would NOT have that happen. Snape, of course, partially defended Malfoy, although even Snape knew that he didn't deserve it. Malfoy was more of a rat then Izzy the Rat-Boy and that's saying something.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth was ignoring Izzy the Rat-Boy while he trailed after her asking her if she needed him to carry her books, do her homework, eat, sleep and go to the bathroom. Yes, very obsessive.
Morgan was now in the hospital wing, everyone making sure that she was ok. She had a lot of visitors.
"How are you!" A Ravenclaw girl named Shannon asked.
"Here are some flowers," the boy who had whistled on the first day of school said. It turned out he had a name. It was Adam (I'll let you guess which one).
"I feel SO bad," Erica exclaimed.
"What did he do to you?" Ron asked.
"Oh my god," Matt said.
"You guys are such losers. She's fine," Mark said. Everyone turned to look at him. "What? It's true," Matt, who was Mark's friend, took him aside and explained to him that you just don't say that kind of thing. Blah, Blah. Of course, Jub, Orly and Jonny were there because Leila was a good friend of Morgan and was spending most of her time by Morgan's bed. Paige also visited frequently and Ethan, Ricky and Keanu went with her. She was still having a hard time deciding, though. Finally, the three boys decided to go back to normal life and leave Paige to her decision. It wasn't that easy for Leila's men. Harry, meanwhile, was having a separate affair. He had found a stray llama wandering near Hagrid's hut and Hagrid was looking after it. Harry adored it. It was a light blonde with a long neck. It chewed funny and looked around a lot. Harry's friends found this extremely funny and sometimes would just sit and watch the llama because they thought it was so funny. After Morgan had been released and was back in her room; FAR, FAR AWAY from Malfoy, everything settled down and they all went back to the Great Hall. Keanu came over and sat next to a bunch of Gryfindors because Paige was one of them. He knew that Ricky nor Ethan had the nerve to sit at another house's table... or at least for a long period of time. Well, it sort of didn't matter for Ethan, because he was in Gryffindor, but Keanu was determined to get Paige for himself.
Soon after, a young first year Ravenclaw walked over to Leila. His name was Fred. "I like you," he said very shyly. Leila looked at her friends as if to say 'awww'. (a/n: you should be saying 'awww' right now) Fred was a short, ugly, stump of a boy who had many pimples for his age. Leila patted his head.
"That's so cute," she said. "But I've got 3 totally hot guys fighting over me. You seriously expect me to pick you- a short, fat, ugly, pimply first year –over 2 fully grown men and a very beautiful 16-year-old?" Fred sniffed and ran off crying. Everyone laughed.
"HAHA," Harry said.
"HAHA," Ron said.
"HAHA," Hermione said.
"HAHA," Paige said.
"HAHA," the twins said.
"HAHA," Dumbledore said.
"HAHA," Hagrid said.
"HAHA," McGonagall (who was still doing the robot) said.
"HAHA," Erica said.
"HAHA," Erica's mom said.
"HAHA," Keanu said.
"HAHA," Brad Pitt said.
"HAHA," Ethan said.
"HAHA," Adam said.
"HAHA," Matt said.
"HAHA," Adeyemi said from the Ravenclaw table.
"HAHA," Erik said.
"HAHA," a weird, annoying Slytherin named Yakov said.
"HAHA," HB said.
"HAHA," Lee said.
"HAHA," Mark said.
"HAHA," This Ravenclaw girl named Marie said.
"HAHA," Ricky said
"HAHA," Shannon said.
"HAHA," Ghandi said.
"HAHA," a Slytherin named Heather said.
"HAHA," Jub said.
"HAHA," the girl with the HUGE butt said.
"HAHA," Izzy the Rat-Boy said.
"HAHA," Elizabeth said.
"HAHA," Danielle said.
"HAHA," Lia said.
"HAHA," Snape said.
"HAHA," Sandra said.
"HAHA," the boy with the black hair (Jacob) said.
"HAHA," Leila said.
"HAHA," John Cleese said.
"HAHA," Nevile said.
"HAHA," Seamus said.
"HAHA," Pansy said.
"HAHA," Ava said.
"HAHA," Ringo said
"HAHA," Paul said
"HAHA," George said.
"HAHA," John said
"HAHA," Anna said.
"HAHA," Filch said.
"HAHA," Malfoy said (from his jail cell… just kidding)
"HAHA," Morgan said.
"HAHA," Voldemort said.
"HAHA," Fred said. (a/n: I'm sorry, I had to put him in, too)
And as everyone was saying 'HAHA', Keanu grabbed Paige and kissed her with all his might. (a/n: he's a very good kisser)
"I think I might pick Keanu," Paige said to Erica after Keanu had gone back to the Hufflepuff common room.
"Really?" Erica asked.
"Yeah," Paige said. "He's sorta been trying the hardest. Not that the others haven't, or anything. Oh what the hell," she said. "He's totally hot and a great kisser, so," Erica laughed.
"Good reasons," she said. Meanwhile, Hermione was obsessing over what to wear on a date with Hayden, who was coming to visit for the weekend. She went through her entire wardrobe. She finally decided for the Saturday, she was going to wear a leather miniskirt, leopard-print tights and a pretty low-cut black halter.
"Too much?" she asked Paige, Leila and Erica.
"Maybe," Paige said.
"Um," Leila started.
"It's perfect!" Erica exclaimed. Then Hermione showed them her choice for Sunday. She had picked a white tank top with a lace neckline, jeans with writing all over them and huge green platform spice girl shoes.
"Um," Leila said.
"Crap," Erica said.
"WONDERFUL!" Paige screamed. She admired the green shoes. It was a shame that the weekend that Hermione was picking the clothes out for was in 3 months. Boo Hoo.