I found this somewhat confusing and a lotwhat angsty. Too many unexplained changes too fast, too many errors...I can understand not having a beta reader or not having a spell check, but to have neither is a big problem that's easy to solve.
Anyway, your demand for reviews in order to keep you writing is childish, and frankly, I'll be sort of sickened if people pander to your desires. If you really and truly care about a story, you'll write it regardless of reviews. If you don't care about your story, then you shouldn't be writing it.
Good day.
Dear spoofmaster,
Although I was really really hopping on some good reviews. I did get another one that did help bring my hopes up on what you said, but it's suppose be not able to understand… if you looked correctly it said mystery. Sorry about the spell check and stuff but thank you for telling me I should probably use it! And the review thing was mainly so I could know if people were interested and what I needed to correct like spell check. But thank you anyhow.
Kagome-Chan-Girl thanx for the review glad to know I'm doing somewhat of a good job!
She laid in bed and fell asleep. She hated that. She knew exactly what she would dream about. But tiredness grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into her beach where she would walk on memories past.
The dream
It starts out on a beach Kagome walking hand in hand with inuyasha and occasionally picking up a jewel shard. (Representing that they were together in a journey collecting jewel shard.) As she walked along picking them up and putting them in her pocket they got to a jewel almost complete, and Kagome didn't want it to be over so when they found the demon bearing the last shard, she picked it up and told inuyasha that he didn't have one and put it in her pocket. They continued walking hand in hand and adventually stopped and at this point they were in the inuyasha forest. Inuyasha was speaking, but no words came into Kagome's ears. Even if she did know what he was saying. He grabbed his chest over his heart and cried. She hugged him and he held her. She felt like a million pounds even if it was just a dream. And she knew it was because of what she did. She would cry in her sleep knowing that she shouldn't have done it.
Woken
Something was wrong. The dream never ended in the part. Except the dreadful night. That could only mean. He had come back. She shuddered and got out of bed. She went to the box dug it up and pulled out the necklaces. She walked to her old house. It was there but just in one big pile on the floor. She looked hard at the well. Finally a she looked around and realized the shadows were not right. Something was there. She knew what to.
Damn! I forgot to grab the jewel fragment. Now there's no place to run. Could this… be… my… end?
She froze; she heard footsteps but nobody in sight. They were fast footsteps. They seemed to run together. (Tap tap tap taptap taptap taptap taptaptaptaptap.) In the pull she had dropped the necklace. This was not him. Suddenly she was swept up fast. She didn't know what was going on. Finally there was a stop. Kagome was too afraid to open her eyes just to find out they were about to be pulled out. She felt herself being laid down. Where was she? Who was she with? How was this happening? Her world was spinning in circles till she fell asleep.