AfterMath: Inside The Mind of Nicole Wright

Previously:

"Are you okay?"

I looked down at my feet. "I can't lose you again."

Ron looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. I guess it wasn't ment for us to be friends, or anything else." I walked up Harry, kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. "Thank you Harry. For makeing me remember, but I think I would have been better off not remembering anything." and I trotted up the stairs. I lost my dress, and my life was not going well.

I looked at the clock...5:12am...i could not sleep. This constant nagging in the back of my head, it was growing, bigger..and bigger...It wasn;t going to let go.

I lay on the bed, the covers ruffled up towards the right hand side. I lay My head on the tip of my fist, which seemingly held it up on the pillows edge.

My mind, such a big part of my mind, that is the problem. Such a big part of my mind holds such destructive force, in which my powers and emotions control one another. They won't let go. No...they won't let go of me. That is the constant nagging of my thoughts. but the images..like a film, on constant repeat. it never stops. no...it never..stops...

I fear my mind is taking in to uch at a time. The images of Ron, standing in such despair, i fear it may only lead up to me...it always does. Wherever I go, Trouble seems to follow. I cause such caos, its um emaginable. Even to me, it seems the worst is yet to come.

I dont know, if I will ever find out when or how it will happen. But when it does, I hope I am not the cause of it. Nor do I hope, My friends are the cause of it.

Dumbledore has set a dance, a ball they may call it here, for this coming saturday. I dropped my dress earlier, when Malfoy had saved my life from being crushed to smit. I owe him my gratetude, but nothing more.

I received a book, about two weeks ago. It was from my mother. She said it had been passed down to her, by her other, and so on. I had it in the library with me, the day I met Draco in the high room. He must have picked it up, when i left it by the fireplace. I never ment to leave it . But I did.

I really hope, Ron can remember. But, I do not want anything more, to happen to him. If I lose him. I will never forgive my self...never...