HARRY POTTER AND THE SEXY LLAMA

Chapter 14

Four weeks had gone by since the death of Malfoy and everybody was having a marvelous time without him. It was Friday night and Harry, Hermione and Ron were going to Hagrid's hut for tea. They weren't supposed to be out of the castle but they had done it before.

"Now, when you are done with your tea, back to the castle with you," Hagrid said the adolescents. They all nodded and sipped their tea peacefully. After 7 minutes of sipping and chatting, Hagrid looked out the window into the dark night sky. "Snape!" he said. "Out, out the back door," he said. Harry, Hermione and Ron dropped their cups, Ron's cracking on the hard floor.

"Uh," he said.

"Don't worry about it!" Hagrid said, pushing them out the back door. At that moment there was a sharp knock on the door. Hagrid opened the door and tried to act surprised.

"Professor Snape!" he said. "Why, it's quite a surprise to see you here at this late hour,"

"Quiet yourself," Snape said. "It's only 8," he said as he entered the hut. "Hagrid, we have slight si-" he froze. "Who was here?" he asked.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Hagrid asked.

"There are 3 cups on the table and one cracked on the floor. It certainly looks like someone's been here,"

"No," Hagrid said. He needed to think of something fast. He had to embarrass himself. "I was having a tea party with my imaginative friends," he said, looking down and feeling ashamed. Snape stared at him.

"I should have guessed," he hissed. "Malfoy has now been dead now for about four weeks and I am here to collect anything that you," Snape gave Hagrid a funny look. "Might have of his,"

"No, don't have anything of his," Hagrid said.

"Ok, then I'd better leave," Snape said, flipping his cape out and exiting, leaving the door wide open for Hagrid to close.

At that time, the three kids were trying to maneuver themselves through the pitch darkness.

"Muhmeay," Harry heard.

"What was that?" he asked the other two.

"I don't know," Hermione said.

"I didn't hear anything," Ron said.

"Muhmeay," the noise sounded again.

"Ok, I heard it that time," Ron said, his voice cracking in fear.

"Who's there?" Hermione asked.

"Muhmeay,"

"Hello?" Harry said. At that moment, Ron tripped over something.

"Muhmeay," the thing said.

"Lumos," Hermoine said, her wand illuminating. Why didn't they think of that before? The trio gasped.

"Malfoy!" Ron said.

"Muhmeay," Malfoy said.

"He's saying Mommy," Harry commented. Hermione, although Malfoy had called her a mug blood so many times, helped him up off of the ground.

"Muhmeay?" he said, touching Hermione's face.

"No, no, I'm not your mommy," she said. The trio dragged Malfoy back inside Hogwart's walls and up to the hospital wing without being seen.

"Madame Pomfrey! Madame Pomfrey!" They called.

"What's all of this noise?" Madame Pomfrey asked, walking into where the kids were standing. "Wh - Draco!" she screamed.

"We found him wandering in the Astronomy tower," Ron lied.

"Yes," Hermione said.

"Oh, oh dear," she said, laying down Malfoy in a vacant bed. "Thank you, children," she said. "You may leave now," The trio went back to the Gryffindor common room, where they told Erica and Nevile about their adventure. Paige, Keanu, Seamus, Anna, Ethan and Erica had gone to Hogsmead because there was a special trip that evening.

"Maybe we'll get metals," Ron fantasized.

"Yeah, and maybe Hayden will write me and tell me that he's moving back to England and that he likes me," Hermione sighed. Harry rolled his eyes and his two pathetic friends. He wondered why he didn't hang out with Ethan and Keanu more often. They didn't do the things that his other, old, English friends did. He realized that being an American rocked… and maybe, it occurred to him, he should try and adapt to the American accent. It was cool. (a/n: FYI, I think that English accents are much cooler than American accents) Sometimes, at night, when no one was in the common room, he would go down and try to imitate the accent. It was hard.

"Loser," his Agist would say to him.

"Shut up," was always his comeback. Maybe he was a loser. I should try and become cool, he though. Meanwhile, Eric the Llama was making large improvements in speech. He could say:

Shut up

Get off my grill

Lesser of two evils

your name here – son

Anglosaxon

AAAH

Harry was so proud. Ron was so amazed. Hagrid was so making tea at that moment.