I Still Love You

By: Apolla

Disclaimer: I do not own Rory or Jess (if I did, they would still be together)

Pairings: Literati

Setting: Takes place during Episode 4.21 – Last Week Fights, This Week Tights

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Rory's head was in her hands. She couldn't believe that Jess had just been standing in her room. He wants me to run away with him, she thought. I know it's impossible. But a part of me actually wants to do it! Am I crazy? I've been working towards getting into Yale my entire life, and suddenly the boyfriend who abandoned me and left me broken-hearted with no explanation wants me to run away with him.

I did the right thing in saying no! Rory reassured herself. The only times Jess has wanted me is when he can't have me. He doesn't mean it.

But what if he does? A voice in the back of her head taunted her. What if he always loved you as much as you wished he did, and he really wants to have a life with you?

It's not fair! He can't do this to me! He can't come in here, drop something like this on me, and then just leave!

Rory got up and ran out, down the hall, until she made it outside. She looked around for Jess, then saw him walking away. "Jess!" she called.

He stopped but didn't turn around. Rory caught up with him and stood in front of him. "You can't just disrupt my entire life and then walk away!" she said, furious. "You can't! I won't let you!"

Jess didn't say anything, which only served to, for some reason, infuriate Rory even more. "Why do you always do this to me? Why? You only want me when you know you can't have me!"

"That's not true!" Jess burst out, interrupting her tirade.

He angrily jabbed a finger into her face. "That has never been true! I have just always wanted you!"

Oh my gosh………does he mean it? Rory wondered, trying to ignore the happy jumps her stomach was doing. No, he can't!

"Then why do you always leave me? Why do you – "

"Because I love you!" Jess yelled.

He loves me. He still loves me.

"I've always loved you," Jess went on, still yelling. "And it scares the shit out of me, Rory! Because you're so perfect, and I'm – I'm me!"

He loves me. He's always loved me. He loves me, Rory kept repeating in her mind.

Tears came into her eyes and she opened her mouth. Don't do it. Don't say it. There's no going back! Don't do it! Her mind screamed at her, but she ignored it.

"Jess, I love you too."