Feasibility Study

Chapter 7: The Patter of Little Feet – Part 2
Written by: Ms Maggs / Edited by: KJT

July 21, 2005 (Day 90)
Sidle-Grissom House
9:56 a.m.

Walking down the hall, Grissom recognized a distinctive soothing aroma floating through the air. Tilting his head, he followed the scent until soon he was standing in the kitchen. "Are you baking something?" He asked in a tone of disbelief. "It smells like…"

"Oatmeal cookies. Just pulled them out of the oven." Sara replied as sweet as the brown sugar coating her apron. "Do they smell good?" While it's true that men are visual creatures, being a scientist she knew that smell triggers the most powerful memories of all the senses. So why not stack the deck and engage the appropriate olfactory response prior to bombarding the man with familial imagery?

Inhaling deeply he was transported back in time. "Actually they smell just like the ones my mother used to make."

"Really?" Sara nonchalantly went about her business of returning items to the fridge. "I didn't even know you liked oatmeal cookies." As she stuffed a stick of butter into the proper compartment she continued her train of thought silently. Oh wait…maybe I did know you liked oatmeal cookies. I could be wrong but once about four years ago Doc's wife baked some for the team and you may have said something vague like 'wow these oatmeal cookies are fantastic! I always loved them fresh out of the oven when I was a kid!' To herself she snickered…who am I kidding, if I was a superhero my special power would be memory but you already know that because one time three years ago when we were working a case at the Mirage you said….'you never forget anything do you?'

"The cookies taste fantastic." Which surprised him since she had never baked anything from scratch as far as he knew. "I didn't even know we had the ingredients to make oatmeal cookies."

"I went shopping on the way home from work." Breezing through the kitchen with an air of Betty Crocker bliss, she explained, "I wanted to have food for our guests. I remembered seeing oatmeal cookies at Wendy's so I knew Sean would like them." It wasn't a lie…it just wasn't her primary motivation.

"How did you know what to buy?"

"What!" Planting her hands on her hips, she rolled her eyes. "I have a Ph.D, an IQ of 146 and I'm a CSI. Don't you think I'm smart enough to figure out that oatmeal cookies contain oatmeal without using the Trace lab?"

He always loved her feisty and couldn't restrain his smile.

"And believe it or not, I successfully tracked down the oatmeal in the grocery store, lifted the container off the shelf, read the recipe on the back and collected the items I needed. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll try and tie my own shoes."

"I'm sorry." Grinning he leaned against the kitchen island. "I should know better. Once you study and apply yourself, you can handle anything."

"Damn straight." Walking around the island she flipped her scowl into a smile. "Look at you…you're all ready to play in the dirt."

After his shower he tossed on a black t-shirt, old jeans and sneakers. "And you're ready to do battle with…what did you call her? The demon disguised as a baby?" He said while tugging her hair which she had up in an intricate twist. "Her talons won't be able to reach this." Checking out the rest of her appearance he asked, "And the jeans and tight red cotton shirt?"

"Unlike my destroyed silk shirt, these clothes are machine washable if they get coated in sticky goo. The tightness of the shirt however…is for you."

"Thank you." He dotted her lips with a kiss. "I did notice something else about your appearance…your lack of shoes in the kitchen."

"Oh." Glancing down she looked at her bare feet, wiggling her red painted toes. "I was in a hurry to make the cookies and didn't have time."

"Hmm." He eyed her suspiciously.

Since he playfully initiated the topic she felt it was okay to continue on the same path. "You don't think I would intentionally go barefoot in the kitchen in a shameless attempt to use pre-feminist imagery to subliminally send you a message, do you?"

Raising his brow he countered her point. "Freud said there are no accidents."

"Honey, Freud would have a field day with our relationship…denial, suppression, repression, displacement." Patting his shoulder she asked, "Do you really want to bring him into the equation?"

The ring of the doorbell signaled their guests had arrived.

"Our kids are here," She announced with a wink.

Grissom followed her down the hall watching the bounce in her step and piecing together the evidence thus far… oatmeal cookies, bare feet, borrowed children…cinnamon wasn't the only thing he sniffed in the air, he smelled a trap.

"Hi there," Sara enthusiastically greeted Carrie, Sean and Ashley. "I've been looking forward to your visit all morning."

Carrie walked in holding Ashley and Sean followed. "Wow, Sara." Carrie exclaimed, "This is a great house."

"Thank you."

"Hello, Carrie," Grissom greeted before turning to the boy. "And how are you, Sean? Read any of those books I loaned you?"

Beaming he replied, "I finished all but one."

"Wow." Grissom was once again impressed with the young man. "I'll have to pull some more for you to take home with you."

Sara was counting on Sean to be her sure thing and thirty seconds into the visit he was off to a great start.

"Sara…why don't you take Ashley while the guys help me carry in the supplies."

"Supplies?" Sara asked as she cautiously accepted the wild child into her arms.

"Oh yeah." Carrie motioned for Grissom and Sean to follow her. "This kid comes with a ton…high chair, diaper bag, car seat, toys, pack n' play…you'll see."

Alone in the entryway with Ashley, Sara said, "Can we cut a deal? You make me look like a fantastic potential mom and I'll buy you awesome birthday presents every year for the rest of your life. What do you say?"

Ashley babbled and readied her index finger for a poke.

"Oh no…that's not going to work twice." Sara gently took the girl's tiny hand in hers. "And, if you notice, my hair is up so you'll have to find more creative ways to torture me."

A minute later, the three pack mules returned. "You weren't kidding when you said she came with a ton of stuff."

Grissom said, "Sean lets bring all of this into the living room. This way."

Carrie set the diaper bag down. "And a ton of instructions." Pulling out a binder, she handed it to Sara. "Wendy wrote this up for me so if you have any questions you'll find it in here. The most important thing to remember is she doesn't walk yet but she can crawl at light speed and she can pull herself up and reach stuff so you'll want to watch her at all times."

"Got it." She bounced Ashley in her arms. "Don't worry."

"I hate to drop and run but I have a neighbor watching Ryan and McKenna and I told her I'd be right back. Any questions, call my cell." Smiling brightly, she added, "Thanks so much for bailing me out. I owe you big. Bye."

"Bye." With her borrowed baby in her hands, Sara shut the front door. "Okay…we have ten hours to accomplish what would normally take Grissom years to do…get past a mental block. Let's go girlfriend. I don't want to jinx it but you're being awfully calm. Did you have time to process that birthday present bribe I mentioned?"

Sara breezed into the living room. "Hey I can handle all this stuff. Why don't the two of you go have some fun? Sean…do you want to see Mr. Grissom's bug collection? He's got live ones, dead ones, plastic ones…you name it."

"I've been counting the minutes," Sean anxiously replied.

Stopping next to Grissom, she kissed his cheek. "Have fun showing off. I'll call you when lunch is ready."

"You're making lunch too?"

She shot him a warning glance.

"Let's go, Sean." Grissom pointed the way. "Ever see a cockroach race? I'm training a new batch of Madagascars for an Entomology conference I'm attending next week and you can help me train them. After the race you can feed them rotten fruit."

"Gromphadorhina portentosa! Awesome!"

"First we'll have to paint race numbers on their backs with white-out..."

When the guys disappeared down the hall, Sara looked at Ashley. "Hmm…I'm starting to wonder if your mom knew Grissom approximately eleven years ago." Setting her down on the floor, she handed her a toy from the bag. "You play with this while I set up your portable bed."

Slipping the equipment out of the bag, Sara got to work. "This sounds easy enough," she remarked after reading the instructions. Lifting one side, she easily snapped it in place but when she went to snap the opposite side the other side collapsed. "Okay…what am I doing wrong here? You tell me, Ashley." On the floor the toy was there but the child was no where in sight. "Ashley?" She jumped to her feet. "I only looked away for a minute where could you be?"

Frantically she ran around the room calling in a loud whisper. "Ashley?" Then she saw a metal stool at the kitchen island falling over like timber. "No!" Racing over she found the child on the floor giggling as she watching the stool crash to the ground.

Relieved, Sara righted the stool and scooped up the troublemaker, nuzzling her in her arms. "Let's not do that again."

Grissom hurried into the room. "What was that crash?"

"What crash?" Sara feigned ignorance as she cuddled Ashley. "Sweetie, you're hearing is so good now I think you can pick up on things from the next house."

"I could have sworn…" He shrugged and returned to the bug room.

"Close call." She set Ashley on the kitchen island, holding her in place. "Want a cookie?" Reaching over she grabbed two and took the cookies and Ashley back to the living area. "Now you sit there and eat while I finish this."

Once again she attempted to snap together the portable bed all the while keeping one eye on Ashley. "What's that sound? Kind of sounds like scampering on the hard wood floor but you're not moving Ashley." When she stepped forward she heard another sound…a crunch which was immediately followed by the sensation of cockroach guts oozing out under her barefoot. "No! Ugh!" Lifting her foot she saw the splattered remains. "Karma! I don't put on shoes in the kitchen and now I have roach remains on my foot." Then it hit her…I killed one of Grissom's kids. Way to go mother of the year!

Grissom returned to the living room once more. "Sara we seem to have lost track of numbers five and six. Keep your eyes peeled. Especially for number six, he's my best racer."

"Will do." She smiled. When he left she lifted her foot. "Let's hope you're number five." Turning to Ashley she announced, "Let's go to the bathroom and…oh no…not again. She's gone!"

Like any good CSI with a dead roach plastered to her foot, she hopped along, following the evidence…a trail of cookie crumbs promptly led her to the child feverishly crawling down the hall. "Come back here!"

1:02 p.m.

The last two hours felt like two days to Sara but finally she was getting the hang of mothering…she had Ashley confined to her high chair with a pile full of cookies.

"It says in your operating manual that you take a nap at one-thirty and usually sleep for three hours. After I finish making lunch I'll take another stab at putting together that contraption together so you can sleep."

Walking over to the fridge, Sara pulled out a half-gallon of milk.

Before she could call them in for lunch, Grissom and Sean appeared in the kitchen.

"I was just going to call you." Sara smiled. "Lunch is ready." Proudly she placed two plates on the counter…peanut butter and jelly with the crusts cut off.

"This looks great, Honey." Grissom picked up the white bread square and sniffed it. "Smells good too. When did you learn to cook this?"

"Very funny." She slapped two glasses of milk on the counter. "Carrie said this was Sean's favorite lunch."

"It's my favorite lunch when my Aunt Carrie is in charge because her cooking scares me." Sean bit into the sandwich.

"I'm going to put Ashley's bed together for her nap." Leaving the kitchen she walked in to the living area.

From the counter Grissom watched her struggle while munching on his sandwich. "You need some help with that, Honey? Because every time I've come out here you've been struggling to put that thing together."

"No." Damn…if only I studied mechanical engineering instead of physics. "I've got it."

Sean, his one vice being impatience, jumped off his stool and bounded over to Sara. "You do it like this." In two easy moves he had it snapped together. He proceeded to place the baby's blanket and favorite sleeping toy in the bed. "You know you shouldn't be afraid to ask for help when you need it."

"Thank you." Blowing a strand of hair off her face, she smiled. "I'll try to remember that." Okay Sean… making me look incompetent was not part of the plan but you're an asset in every other way so I'll put up with it.

Grissom smugly set down his glass of milk. "And a little child shall lead…"

"Very funny." Shaking off her failure at baby equipment assembly, Sara asked, "So now that you've run the roaches through their paces, what are you boys going to do after lunch?"

"Sean's in luck." Grissom tossed his napkin on his empty plate. "There's a decaying pigeon in the backyard and it's ripe with maggots. When he finishes his sandwich we'll glove up and check it out."

"This is the best day ever!" Sean raced over to the counter to polish off his lunch.

"Sounds fun." Turning on her maternal charm, Sara plucked Ashley from her highchair. "According to your instruction manual, it's time to change your diaper and put you down for a nap." Kissing the top of her head, she said, "I remember your favorite song too…Twinkle Twinkle."

Grissom sat back and analyzed the scene. She was trying so hard…forcing it at times but the harder she tried the more he loved her. It always amazed him that he could love her more than he already did. Then he remembered almost losing her nine days ago and a chill swept through him. The loss would have been unbearable.

Snuggling the sleepy child, Sara sat on the couch and began her song. "Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are." And then thanks to a quick google search earlier this morning, she was able to sing the rest of the song. "How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky, twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are."

From across the room she caught Grissom's eye and wondered what he was thinking. Was the visual working? Studying his eyes, she knew exactly what was going on inside him…a battle of wills. She'd seen it before.

The more he watched her with baby, the more conflicted he grew. On one hand he wanted it more than ever but at the same time the fear grew. It was a familiar feeling, one that he experienced many times when he wanted to start a relationship with her.

"All done!" Sean declared as he placed his empty milk glass on the counter. "Maggot time!"

Thankful for the reprieve from his muddled thoughts, Grissom slid off the chair. "Right this way."

Sighing, Sara looked down at Ashley. She was sound asleep. "Hey…I did something right," Sara mused. "And no one helped me." Tired herself, she was quickly lulled by the baby's rhythmic breathing. Kicking her legs up on the couch she snuggled closer. "I'll just rest my eyes with you for a few minutes."

2:34 p.m.

Sitting on the grass under a shade tree with several specimen jars full of insects, Sean glowed with excitement. "Mr. Grissom, did your dad teach you how to collect bugs?"

"No." Taking a seat next to Sean, he said, "I taught myself about bugs at first and then of course later I went to college and learned more."

"Oh…was your dad into sports like my dad?" Sean watched the beetles in the jar while he spoke. "I mean my dad does fun science stuff with me but I always know he'd rather be tossing a football. Is that what your dad was like?"

"Actually, my parents got divorced when I was six and after that I didn't see my father very much after that." The truth was he didn't see him since he was eight but that reality seemed a little harsh to tell the boy. "We never did much together."

Sean picked up the next jar and studied it "Then how did you learn to act like such a great dad?"

The question threw him. "You think I'd be a good father?"

"Are you kidding?" He picked up the third jar. "You would be great! Why don't you have kids?" Then he realized his faux-pas. "Sorry. My mom told me you're not supposed to ask that question because last year when we were visiting my Aunt Lisa I asked why she didn't have any kids and it made her cry. My mom told me some people can't have them and it makes them sad. But we found out last week that Aunt Lisa and Uncle Steven are going to bring one home from China soon."

"Actually…we haven't decided yet if we're going to have any children." Glancing back toward the house, Grissom considered another possibility for the first time. Would not having a child eventually wear Sara down like not having a relationship did? Would there come a time when she'd say she couldn't wait for a decision? What if my answer is no? Would that drive a wedge between us? Could my fear once again ruin everything? Suddenly he had to see her. "Sean…it's pretty hot out here. Why don't we take the bugs inside, get something cold to drink, snatch some cookies then head to the library to identify the bugs we've found."

"Okay." Jumping up, he clutched the plastic jars in his arms. "I know one of the beetles already."

After walking through the back door, he instructed Sean to grab two water bottles from the fridge while he went into the living room. On the couch he saw Ashley peacefully sleeping in Sara's arms. For the first time it didn't look awkward, it looked right…perfect…and the moment overwhelmed him.

For decades, every day when he came home there was no one there to accompany him or greet him when he arrived. Then the relationship with Sara began and everything changed. Some days after work they went to her apartment, some days they went to his townhouse. Once the relationship became physical they took turns sleeping at each other's places.

Then one day Sara had to go to Berkeley to work with her advisor for a couple of days and for the first time in many months Grissom experienced his old reality…no one there at the end of a day...no one sharing his space…no one to touch. It was only then that he realized how much he had gained and solitude never seemed truly unbearable until he tasted something more.

Standing over the couch watching Sara's chest rise and fall in time with the baby's he wondered what it would be like to come home at the end of the day to a family.

"Here you go," Sean said as he extended the bottle of Aquafina.

"Thanks." He twisted the cap off and took a sip. "Okay let's go look up those bugs."

5:41 p.m.

Stirring from slumber on the couch, Sara stretched her arms above her head. "Oh my god!" She bolted upright. "Where's the baby!"

"Relax, Honey." Grissom sat on the edge of the couch. "She's on the floor playing with Sean. We came out of the library and noticed she was waking up."

"Oh…okay." Her heart rate began slowing as her disappointment escalated. "I really stink at this don't I?"

"It's all new, Sara. Think of all the things you didn't know on your first day as a CSI compared to what you know now. Right?" He kissed her forehead. "But if you'll take over watching Ashley, Sean and I are going to cook dinner."

"Yeah." Sean looked up from his tower of blocks. "We decided we wanted some real food."

Grissom stood up smiling. "Out of the mouths of babes…"

Sliding off the couch she took Sean's place on the floor next to the block tower. "Hey Ashley…I can teach you about gravity. Watch…" With a flick of a finger she tipped over the tower and the blocks fell to the floor.

In the kitchen, Grissom opened the fridge and surveyed the vegetable situation. "Okay so we're going with veggie stir-fry and rice, right? You said your mom uses honey in her recipe?"

"Quarter cup."

"Check the pantry…second shelf."

Sean did as asked. "Found it." He carried it over to the counter.

"So your mom is teaching you how to cook?" Grissom asked as he retrieved a cutting board.

"Yes. Who taught you how to cook?"

"My mom." He handed over a bag of mushrooms and handed out assignments as if he were at a crime scene. "You wash, I'll slice."

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Sean handed over the first group of cleaned shrooms.

"No." He started slicing. "I'm an only child."

"Sometimes I wish I was." Sean rinsed the next batch. "My house is so loud. It can be really hard to find a quiet place to read. I bet your house was really quiet when you were growing up."

"That it was."

From the living room, Sara watched the two standing side by side working in unison at the sink and smiled. Men weren't the only visual creatures…the imagery was working on her too.

6:22 p.m.

There was no denying it…the meal was delicious. Sara raised her glass of iced tea. "Thank you both for the wonderful dinner. You put my PB&J to shame."

The curious ten year old inquired, "Why didn't your mom teach you how to cook, Ms. Sidle?"

"Um…" Tensing, Sara lowered her glass.

Grissom came to her rescue. "Sara's mom was away on business a lot so she didn't cook much."

"Oh." Sean nodded. "Well you make the really good oatmeal cookies. I think they're even better than my mom's but don't tell her I said that."

Staring down Grissom, she said, "You made him say that."

"I did not."

"No, he didn't." Sean quickly corrected her. "They're really good. I wouldn't lie."

Easing back in his chair, Grissom reminded Sara, "The evidence doesn't lie…all the cookies are gone."

Feeling bad for insinuating Sean was dishonest, she explained, "Please forgive me, I'm not used to hearing compliments on my cooking."

"Yeah…Nick told us about your burritos, that's why I suggested us guys cook dinner."

"He told you about the burritos!" Sara vented at Grissom. "What is the statute of limitations on that anyway? You proved it wasn't my fault."

Ashley tossed the last of her carrots onto the table and started to fuss.

"I think she wants to play some more." Sara promptly took her out of her high chair. "You want to fly like an airplane again or bounce?"

"Uh…Ms. Sidle…" Sean began but Grissom stopped him.

"It's okay. Let her try."

"But…" Sean realized it was too late; Ashley had projectiled her dinner all over Sara. "I was trying to tell you that she has acid reflux and can't be bounced for an hour after eating."

"Oh." Sara froze while the rice and carrot vomit slid down her fitted red shirt and jeans. "I'm uh…going to put her down and jump in the shower real quick. Can you uh…watch her, please?" Apparently Ashley did come up with a new torture.

Out of respect the guys waited until Sara left the room to burst out laughing.

6:50 p.m.

Hurrying back into the living room, Sara announced, "Okay I'm cleaned up and ready to…" But her words ceased when she saw Grissom in an arm chair reading a science journal and holding Ashley. It was a visual she had never seen before and without warning her eyes began to well. Damn hormones!

Looking over at Sara, Grissom explained, "Carrie didn't pack any children's books so I'm reading this to her. She doesn't seem to mind. Maybe she'll be a scientist too."

On the couch Sean had his head buried in a book. "Good…the family could use another geek. I'm tired of carrying the burden alone."

"Are you okay, Honey?" Grissom asked Sara upon seeing her watery eyes.

"Yeah…um…I got shampoo in my eyes that's all." Breathing deep she forced the emotions down and pushed out a smile. "Here I'll play with her." Unable to handle the visual for another second she snatched Ashley and brought her down to the floor in front of Grissom. "You want to practice standing again?" Facing her towards Grissom she said, "Wee were doing this when you were making dinner."

Enchanted with Sara's smile, he put his journal down and gazed at her holding the baby's fingers helping her up and down.

"Look, no hands." Sara announced as she let go.

Ashley giggled and wobbled for a bit and then lifted her feet taking three steps forward until Grissom caught her in mid-tumble. "Gotcha."

"She walked!" Sara screeched.

"She definitely did." Grissom concurred as he broke into a wide smile. "Developmental biology in action."

That got Sean's attention. "She did! We've been trying to get her to walk for weeks!" Dropping his book he raced over. "See if she'll do it again so I can see."

Sara took Ashley and faced her towards Sean. "Okay just like before. Look no hands!"

For the first time ever, Ashley cooperated for Sara and three steps later Sean caught his baby sister.

"You taught her how to walk!"

Sara looked up at Grissom who was gazing down at her. For at least this one moment, she knew they were on the same page.

8:04 p.m.

After loading the last of the baby's things in the car, Nick returned to the house for Ashley and Sean. "So Sara…no eye injuries or hair pulls."

"Nope." She kissed Ashley on the head and gave her to Nick. "We did have vomit though!"

Grissom stood behind Sara with his hand on her shoulders. "And it had nothing to do with Sara's homemade oatmeal cookies."

Nick winked. "Duly noted." Anxious to get to Carrie, he waved goodbye. "You guys have a good night."

"Thanks for visiting, Sean." Sara smiled. The boy didn't let her down.

Grissom nodded. "Enjoy the new books."

"Bye."

They watched them drive away then shut the door.

"So…" Grissom gave her hand a squeeze as they walked toward the living room. "You decided to orchestrate another opera only this time I was an audience member instead of a player."

So much for being stealthy. "That obvious?"

"From the beginning of the first act." He stared her down. "I have a Ph.D, an IQ of 146 and I'm a CSI…don't you think I'm smart enough to figure out a set-up?"

Glancing sideways she gingerly asked, "But did you enjoy the performance?"

He sat down on the couch, waiting for her to join him. "The vomit scene toward the end of the fourth act was an unexpected twist."

"Tell me about it." Plopping down on the couch she faced him. "Are you upset with me for…"

"How could I be?" He took her hand in his. "Your opera was a wonderful comedy with a point. I got the point, Sara."

"And?"

"And this morning I said couldn't talk about it but tonight I can."

Smiling, she closed the gap between them. "We never talk about serious stuff on the couch."

Cupping her face he returned her smile. "I thought it would be safer than the bedroom considering the topic."

Trading words for kisses, they put the conversation on hold.

Until without warning, Sara jumped off the couch screaming. "Oh! OH!"

"What the?" Grissom watched her tear open her jeans. "I said talk, Sara."

"OH! OH!" She frantically exclaimed while shoving down her pants and kicking them across the floor. "Your missing cockroach crawled up my leg!"

Thrilled to see the painted number on the roach's back he exclaimed, "Number six!" Happily he retrieved his prize racer from Sara's balled up jeans.

Watching him cradle the cockroach in his hand, she laughed. "I'm standing here in a thong and you have your eyes on an insect." Although she was relieved to learn it was sluggish number five she stomped earlier and not speedy number six.

"He's my best shot at winning the race next week!"

"Life as an entomologist's wife I suppose." Lovingly she sighed. "Take care of number six. We'll talk later."

Next Chapter: I've Got Your Number - Part 1