HARRY POTTER AND THE SEXY LLAMA
Chapter 24
"So we think that BNP might be related to this guy," Keanu said as he explained what was going on to everyone.
"Not again," Ron said.
"Shut up, Ron," Leila said.
"That is unbelievably creepy," Paige said.
"I know!" Erica said. "How gross can you get?"
"Obviously pretty gross," Ethan said.
"Yeah, yeah," replied Erica.
"And I experienced it!" Nevile said.
"Yeah and we watched it happen," Ethan said.
"Ugh, it was disgusting," Harry said.
"Yeah…" They all sat silent for a minute.
"Ew," Leila said. Paige laughed.
"That was delayed,"
"So what do we do?"
"That's what we've got to figure out," It was going to be a tough job but everyone was willing to get rid of BNP.
"My mom used to be in the FBI. Maybe she can connect us to AMW," said Erica. (a/n: HAHA!)
"That's awesome!" Nevile said. "That would be so cool. To be in the FBI! Wow!"
"Relax, Nevile," Paige said. "We're not going for a job interview. We need to find out about this BNP guy,"
"How old is he?" Keanu asked.
"I dunno. Pretty old though," Ron said.
"Then why don't we look in the library?" So the team went down to the library where they searched and searched.
"It's not here!"
"Not here either!"
"Nor here!" Harry, who knew what they would have to do, was nervous, but there were no teachers around so he really shouldn't have been.
"We've got to go in the Restricted section," he said. He shuddered. Everyone knew from the stories that he had told what he had done in his first year at Hogwarts. He pushed the lock over and opened the gate. "Can someone else go in first?" So Keanu went in first because he was such a brave boy. He was followed by Harry, Ethan, Ron, Paige, Erica, Leila and finally Nevile. They picked through the shelves until they found something. Erica found a book called "Famous American and English Wizard Criminals That Like Noses". Wow, that's oddly specific. Everyone gathered around an old table that was covered in dust. Erica scanned the index.
"B, BNP, Bloody Nose Picker. AHA!" she said. "Page 328," She flipped to the page. There, there was a title that said, "Americas Most Wanted: Bloody Nose Picker (BNP)"
"Wow. This thing is good," Paige said. Everyone nodded in agreement. Erica started to read.
"In 1777, a small boy was born with the name of Ilard Pendin Daily, or I.P. Daily in Canterbury, England," she started. (a/n: you have to read I.P. Daily out loud) "I.P. was a small boy who liked to follow people around. The boy was a listener, not a talker, so everyone around him relied on him to remember things for them. I.P. hated the fact that the only reason that anyone ever talked to him was because he probably remembered something from class that they hadn't. One day in 1791, when he was 13, he felt fed up so he vowed that he would punch the first person that asked him to remember something for them or ask him if he remembered something that they should have. So that day, when his mother asked him to remind her to do the laundry when he got home from school, he punched her, knocking her out and giving her a bloody nose. He had always been fascinated by the nose and the fact that blood was coming out if it made him happy. But he was also scared about what his mother would do when she woke up and found herself with a bloody nose, so he stuffed one of his toy soldiers up her nose.
"There was a girl in his school who he had a big crush on but the only reason that she talked to him was because he could remember things. So one day, when she asked him to remember what his teacher, Mr. Clup, was saying in class, he punched her out, gave her a bloody nose and sort of raped her. Then he stuffed a leaf up her nose so that she wouldn't be angry with him when she woke up. He realized that this was a good way to satisfy his sexual urges so he started to do it more and more. His mother got very mad at this and sent him away to live with a family in the United States.
"When he got there, he realized there were better looking girls there so he did this more and more. He was getting older and was happy that he had found something that he was good at. So he traveled the country raping girls, giving them bloody noses and sticking things up their noses until finally the cops got a trace on him. Then he ran right on back to England where the coppers weren't searching for him and changed his name to the obvious; Bloody Nose Picker or BNP. He is now in an unknown place. It is guessed that he is in a cave in Uzbekistan, eating sand. Sighting of this heinous villain should be reported to the police or any other person in charge,"
"Wow, we got a whole history lesson on this guy,"
"Yeah but we know something about BNP that this book doesn't. He's right here in Hogwarts," The girls shuddered.
"We should tell Dumbledore when he gets back," Leila said.
"Eh, I don't know. That might not be the best way to get rid of this guy and get him to stop doing this,"
"I've got an idea," Paige said. "Let's go,"