Feasibility Study
Written by: Ms Maggs / Edited by: KJT

"I've Got Your Number – Part 4"

Sidle-Grissom House
5:34 p.m. PST/6:34 p.m. MST

Sara was lounging on the bed reading, The Ultimate Guide to Conception, Birth and Everything in Between, when the house phone rang.

With a smile on her face, she lunged for the cordless. "Greg is gone. I'm still wearing the same thing. Now I'm in our bed. You don't want to know what I'm doing."

"If Greg was there I wouldn't want to know, but since he's gone, I do."

"How was dinner?" She asked while slipping under the sheets. "What did they serve tonight? Slug stew?"

"It was a little gooey."

"I bet." She fluffed her pillow. "So you didn't give me your updates. Tell me your 'whats'.

"Still wearing the same thing. I'm in my room, relaxing on the bed. And I'm happy to be finally talking to you, for what will hopefully be more than five minutes, because this is day three and I'm missing you. I've never missed anyone when I've been away at these things." He sighed. "Well that's not entirely true."

Her curiosity piqued, she said, "Care to elaborate on that point?" A tentative chuckle followed. "I mean, considering the night I had last night, I'm a tad sensitive when it comes to you talking about other women."

"I wasn't talking about another woman, I was talking about you."

"Are you sure you're not covering a slip?" Smiling, she asked, "I think I still need you to elaborate so I know for sure."

"If you must know." He sighed again. "There were times in the past, before we were together, when I've been away on trips like this one, and I've thought of you. However, I couldn't call and tell you I missed you like I am now, because I wasn't telling you how I felt when I was face to face with you." He chuckled. "It would have been a bit shocking to get that phone call, don't you think?"

"Trust me. I wouldn't have minded!" Shaking her head, she laughed. "How many times?"

"You want a number?" He returned her laughter. "Suffice it to say it was a regular occurrence."

"I have a confession." Turning on her side, she grinned. "Sometimes when you were away I would call you about cases just to hear your voice."

"I didn't mind."

A devious smile erupted on her face. "So you've been in this position before…in a hotel room, thinking about me."

"Yes."

"When was the first time?" Sensing his hesitancy, she prodded, "I have this need to make sure I know you more than anyone. Please tell me."

"No one ever has, nor ever will, know me like you, Sara."

The tenderness in his voice warmed her heart. "Tell me when."

"San Francisco. The first day we met. I was in my room thinking, why didn't I ask her to go for a drink?"

"Why didn't you?" She remembered the day like it was yesterday.

"I was afraid you would say no."

"I would have said yes."

Cautiously, he asked, "Did you think of me that night?"

"Oh yeah."

"Really? What were you thinking?"

Chuckling, she gave him the bad news. "Why didn't that jerk ask me to go for a drink!"

"So why did you talk to me the next day?"

"I wanted to get to know you and thought you were playing hard to get." Sara grumbled, "I had no idea it was just the tip of the iceberg!"

"You know why I didn't ask you out the second day?"

"Why?"

"Because I was afraid you'd say yes."

Enthusiastically, she admitted, "I would have said yes."

"Exactly, and what would I have done with that! The possibilities were terrifying." He groaned. "Hemingway said cowardice is almost always simply a lack of ability to suspend the functioning of one's imagination. I could only imagine the worst possible outcomes."

"And so it began…the story of our life." Catching a glimpse of the book she was reading when he called, she said, "We danced the dance of indecision for too many years. Wasted too much time."

"I know." He sighed. "Let's discuss something else. You still haven't told me what you were doing when I called."

Suddenly desiring more historical information, she whispered, "Did you only lie awake thinking of me when you were out of town? Or was this a local habit too? Tell me…did you ever find yourself at home fantasizing about me, Grissom?"

"Uh…this is getting a little uncomfortable, Sara."

"Remember what Hemingway said about the imagination. You're imagining if you tell me the truth something bad will happen. Nothing bad is going to happen." Knowing he was squirming, she said, "We're building intimacy."

"We're apart."

"Geographically yes, but I'm feeling closer to you than ever. Let's talk…let's really talk…let's share things we've never shared." She gave him a minute then tried to joke him into a comfort zone. "For instance, you know missing cockroach number five? I accidentally squashed him but didn't tell you. It wasn't murder, it was accidental roach slaughter. See how easy it is to bare your soul?"

Through the phone he chuckled. "Good thing it wasn't number six. And the question you asked me is a lot more intimate than the confession you just shared."

"I was illustrating a point." She rolled onto his side of the bed. "I'll tell you anything you want to know but first…answer my question."

"You want to know how often I thought of you before we were together?"

"Nice stall. Now answer the question."

"Number of times, huh?" After a deep breath he said, "Do you want a weekly, monthly or annual total?"

Sweetly laughing, she replied, "I think that's specific enough, Honey. See how easy it is to open up."

"How often did you think of me?"

"Daily." She laughed at herself. "But don't flatter yourself, it wasn't always good stuff. I can say with full confidence there were days I was one step away from fashioning a voodoo doll in your image."

"I'm sure and rightly so." With trepidation in his voice, he asked, "What did you think of me the night you asked me out and I said no?"

"You don't really want to know that, do you?"

"No. You're right. I don't." Then he redirected, "So answer this for me. That night, when you asked me out, or cornered me as I remember it…"

"Hey, I could have died that day in the lab explosion, so I was feeling a little bold. It's a pattern in my life. I almost died two weeks ago and I want to make a baby. Near-death experiences give me incredible focus." Curling up with his pillow, she confessed, "I did corner you, but only because I didn't want you to get away before I got my words out. Now ask me your question."

When he replied, his voice was softer. "That night I said I didn't know what to do about us and you said you did…"

"I remember it perfectly. It's on my top ten list of humiliating experiences. Although it's promptly falling toward the bottom of the list considering my experiences of late." Then she realized she kept cutting him off. "Sorry, sweetie, please continue."

"That night when I was home alone like an idiot, instead of out to dinner with you, I was thinking, I wonder what she would have said if I asked, 'okay, you say you know what to do, so tell me, what should we do?' I didn't ask then, so tell me now, what you would have said?"

Staring at the ceiling she gave her reply. "Honey, if you had asked that question, I wouldn't have had specifics. All I knew at the time was that I thought it would work if we gave it a chance. I was so sure. I was going to push the issue but I didn't. I walked away."

"We know now it was bad timing. My ear surgery was coming up. I wasn't in the right place. If you had pushed the issue that night, I think it would have made things worse."

"Was there ever a good time? Did I miss an opportunity?" Again she stared at her pile of books. "Was there a moment when, if I had pushed just a little, it would have happened sooner?"

"Yes, but it's not your fault, Sara. I shouldn't have been standing there waiting for you to push the issue. And who knows…if it happened sooner maybe it wouldn't have worked."

Closing her eyes, she whispered, "Tell me the moment."

"There were a few."

"Tell me the most significant."

"It was a couple of years ago. I just finished my end of the Debbie Marlin case and handed it over to the DA. Do you remember the Marlin case?"

With his one hint, she knew exactly what he was going to say. "Yes." And it killed her to know she was so close and missed the window of opportunity.

"The next night, we got a call to go to Boulder City, to process a DB in a city park. Everyone else was gone so I took you. I didn't want to take you, Sara because you were on my mind. But I had no choice, so we drove out there together. There was something about you that night. Every time I looked at you, it was like you were reading my mind…not about the case, but my personal thoughts. It was like you knew I was thinking about you. Do you remember the case?"

"Absolutely."

"The case didn't take long, the COD turned out to be natural causes, anaphylactic shock from a bee sting. We finished up. You said you were hungry. So, after packing the truck, we went to a coffee place down the street, grabbed some food and went back to the park, to the truck." His voice cracked. "It was late, everyone was gone and we were alone. We were sitting in the truck and when you said my name, our eyes met." He paused to free a heavy sigh. "It was like you were looking into my soul, Sara. I waited for you to say something…I was so sure you were going to say something, and I knew if you said anything about us…anything…I wouldn't be able to hold back my feelings. And just when I thought you were going to say it…"

Regret flooding her voice, she filled in the blank. "I said, never mind."

"You remember the moment?"

"Yes." She burrowed further under the covers. "I knew exactly what you were thinking that night, that's why I didn't say anything. I knew, but it wasn't because I could read your mind."

"What do you mean?" He asked, in a perplexed tone.

Emotion building in her voice, she admitted her secret. "I was on the other side of the glass when you were interrogating Dr. Lurie. I heard what you said…someone young and beautiful shows up and offers us a new life with her…I knew it was me on your mind and I was thrilled to finally know the truth, but then…then I heard you say you couldn't take the risk and I didn't know if it was the end or it was an opportunity. So that night in Boulder City..."

"What were you going to say that night?"

She knew he was waiting with baited breath. "I wasn't going to say anything. I was going to kiss you. I was going to kiss you because I remembered the look on your face in the interrogation room. You looked so lonely and I was so lonely. I thought if I reached out…but I was too afraid I might find out I still wasn't worth the risk to you, so instead of kissing you, I said, never mind."

"Oh, Sara."

Sniffling she asked, "If I had kissed you, would you have kissed me back?"

"Yes. Yes, I would have and I can only imagine what I would have said because I wanted you so much in that moment."

Smiling through her tears, she whispered, "Story of our life…out of sync, not saying what we feel, not doing what we should be doing."

"That reminds me. You still haven't told me what you were doing when I called."

His question was timely considering the topic. "I was reading a pregnancy book. Which reminds me, have you gone shopping yet?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I was trying to decide if I wanted to or not."

Sitting up in bed, she asked, "If you were walking through the door right now what would you do?"

"I'd make love to you."

"Without having shopped?"

"Yes." He replied with confidence. "Because tonight I'm sure."

"Do you think you'll go shopping before you get home tomorrow evening?"

His voice faded. "I honestly don't know. Sometimes the littlest things make me have doubts and I find myself changing my mind."

"Story of our life." She wistfully said as she glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "I need to jump in the shower and start getting ready for shift."

"I love you, Sara."

"I know you do." She paused. "I'll uh…talk to you later, okay."

"Okay."

Clicking off the phone, she tossed it on the bed and sighed.

Crime Lab
Break Room
9:50 p.m.

"I'm sitting in the middle," Greg announced as he plopped between Catherine and Warrick. "The two of you can't be trusted to keep you hands off each other."

Catherine raised a brow. "I think you're hoping to get caught in the cross-fire."

Warrick and Greg exchanged unpleasant glances, and then Greg got up and sat in the chair across from the couch.

"So Sanders," Warrick asked, "why did you and Sara get to go out drinking with the big boss last night?"

"Yeah." Catherine kicked her feet up on the coffee table. "We were a little concerned by the timing. You, Sara and Brass spend the night at Lady's Heather's Deviant Dominion and then suddenly the three of you need to spend quality time together? Hmm."

Warrick nodded, "You got to admit it sounds a suspicious."

Greg laughed at the accusation. "Sorry to disappoint, but Brass wanted to celebrate my saving Sara's life. That's why we went out." While the Lady Heather jokes were fine between Sara and him, he vowed he'd never tell anyone else. Other details, however, were most definitely shareable. "It was quite a celebration too. We partied!"

Catherine replied, "You must have made for a very odd three-some, even by Vegas standards."

"Would have been really weird if you could have seen us all waking up at Grissom and Sara's house." Fondly, he recalled the slightly erroneous details for them, "Well, Brass left early but I got the full experience. It was really sweet. While I was in the shower, Sara made me breakfast. It was a little kinky too, because I had to wear Grissom's clothes, because Sara took mine earlier and they were nowhere to be found."

Catherine rolled her eyes. "Nice try. Now tell us what really happened."

"I vomited on myself before passing out on the bathroom floor, so I had to stay."

Warrick nodded. "So you really did take a shower. Sara really did take your clothes. And you really did have to wear Grissom's clothes."

"Yep."

"But Sara didn't make you breakfast," Catherine said.

"No that part was true too. She tried to bribe me with breakfast, so I wouldn't tell you about the phone-sex. However, since she only gave me a stale muffin, I'm spilling the beans."

"Look man…" Warrick shook his head. "You're lousy at fish tales. Why would you have to have phone-sex with her if you were there?"

"I overheard phone-sex, I didn't have it."

The door to the break room opened, and Nick walked in. "Hey peeps. Tonight's your lucky night. Brass is forcing me to pull a double watching over you clowns."

"Hey, you're just in time." Warrick motioned for him to join the discussion. "Greg was going to tell us about overhearing Sara's phone-sex with Grissom."

"Uh…no thanks, man." Nick headed for the coffee pot. "My ears are pure."

Catherine shot him a glare. "Oh please."

"Hit it, Greg." Warrick prodded.

Pulling a slip of paper out his shirt, he explained, "I wrote it down a few minutes after I heard it, so I wouldn't forget. I know I didn't get all of it, but it's close." After studying his notes he mimicked Sara's voice. I'm soooo frustrated because I can't decide what naughty lingerie to wear. What do you think the boss would like? Not that I'll have it on for very long because the boss has a hard time controlling himself around me when I'm wearing lingerie, or red dresses, or nothing at all. So should I go for the lasciviously lacy La Perla or the sinfully sheer…That's when she realized I was standing there gawking at her and she flipped out."

Across the room, Nick was laughing into his mug.

Catherine snapped, "Hey, Mr Purity, I thought you weren't going to listen?"

He was quick to explain. "I'm laughing, because there's no way Sara would talk like that. She's way too uptight."

"You know what they say about the quiet ones." Greg grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Oh and her new nickname is Boom Boom Sidle, although she has no recollection why."

Warrick choked on his java. "How did you come up with that?"

"Boom Boom?" Nick took a seat with the group. "Okay, I'm hooked."

Greg bounced in his seat like a pubescent boy. "Sara was stumble-down drunk. In a fit of hysterical laughter, she tells us she can't hold her liquor like she used to, and being Sara, she feels compelled to prove her point by substantiating it with facts. She said, 'when I went to San Francisco, I got drunk, and before I knew it, I was stripping in the limo and by the time I was done, Grissom paid me five hundred bucks!'"

"Stripping?" Nick shook his head. "See, that's really too much to believe."

Catherine smiled proudly. "Hey, she learned from the best."

Greg could have exploded on the spot. "Are you telling me, that there was a moment in my universe when you and Sara were together doing the bump and grind?"

Catherine taunted him in a seductive voice, "How much would you have paid to watch that, Baby?"

Warrick warned, "I wouldn't answer that in front of me."

"Five hundred bucks for stripping?" Nick shook his head. "Well, Grissom has always been a generous tipper."

Greg immediately corrected the misperception. "Sara made it clear that a chunk of her earnings was from services rendered. Not just one service but services."

"Oh!" Nick covered his ears. "Now that's way too much information. It's like hearing about your parents doing it. Stop! My mind's eye needs a shower." He glanced at the clock. "And she's going to be here any minute. I'm going to have to look at her!"

In the middle of the ensuing laughter, Brass strolled in. "Good, I see everyone is working hard."

"Hey, we're not on the clock for thirty seconds," Catherine reminded him.

"Looks like Boom Boom is going to be late," Greg announced.

"Actually, Boom Boom called in sick."

"What!" Warrick choked on his coffee. "Sara has never called in sick, ever."

Brass shrugged. "She sound pretty stuffed up and tired but maybe she is hungover."

Catherine quickly offered an explanation. "Maybe her lack of clothes exposed her to the elements while she was rendering services and she caught a head cold."

Nick grumbled, "This conversation should be taking place in the locker room not the break room."

Brass's cell phone rang over the noise. Pulling it out of his pocket, he checked the number. "Well, I'd love to lounge in the gutter with you, but I'm an important man and I'm needed elsewhere. See you tomorrow."

Catherine yelled after him. "We know what's going on! Boom Boom can't put out because she's under the weather, so Grissom's calling you!"

Colorado Springs Doubletree Hotel and Conference Center
Room 233
10:18 p.m. MST

Grissom sat in a chair on the balcony of his hotel room, staring blankly into the night sky while waiting for room service to bring the sandwich he ordered. His call with Sara had left him too introspective to cope with a group meal earlier, and although he still wasn't particularly hungry, he looked forward to the temporary distraction.

Since his conversation with Sara, his mind churned and he thought of nothing else but the missed opportunities they had confessed to one another. And when he wasn't thinking of that, he thought of the opportunity he was missing tonight due to geography…Sara in Vegas, him in Colorado, their minds together but their bodies not.

There was always tomorrow night, he assured himself, while knowing the statement wasn't necessarily true. Anything could happen to sway his decision. Something at the airport would trigger a doubt. Or during the car ride home he would see something to remind him of why he shouldn't take a risk. That's how it always happened. And as he sat there certain of his decision at the moment, he wondered, what fear would manifest itself and influence his vulnerable mind this time?

A knock on the door snapped him out of self-analysis, and after inhaling another dose of crisp night air, he got up to answer. "Just a minute," he called, not sure how long it had taken him to hear the knock.

When he opened the door, he was stunned to find Sara, not room service, standing in the hallway. Disbelief saturating his words, he asked, "How is it possible you're here?"

With hope in her eyes, Sara provided the details. "After we hung up, I called Brass and told him I needed a personal day. Then I hopped on the next flight to Colorado Springs." An anxious smile twittered across her lips. "After our conversation I decided I couldn't wait to see you."

Reaching out he caressed her cheek. "You're really here."

"I really am." Her voice quivered with anticipation as she asked, "But how's it going to go? Am I here cornering you at the wrong time, and you're going to tell me you don't know what to do about it? Or, are you standing there hoping I'll push the issue, while I wonder, if I kiss you, will you kiss me back?"

The answers to all of her questions were received not in words, but in the emotion of Grissom's embrace.

Joy bubbled in her declaration, "You're happy I'm here!"

"I'm thrilled you're here!" He excitedly replied, while squeezing her tighter. "After our call, I couldn't think of anything but you."

Just then the room service waiter appeared in the hall. Clearing his throat to get the delirious couple's attention, he announced, "Room 233. I have your dinner order."

Still in his arms and giddy from the moment, Sara laughed. "Couldn't think of anything but me, huh? Me and your stomach!"

"I…" Knowing Sara would really be turned off if she saw it was a roast beef sandwich under the cover, he turned to the impatient hotel employee and said, "Sorry, you've got the wrong room number."

Rolling his eyes, the waiter walked away.

"Now where were we? You were concerned I wouldn't return your kiss." Unfortunately he was interrupted again.

"Hey Grissom!" Pete Downing, an entomologist from Cleveland, yelled from down the hall at the elevator. "Nice to know you have other interests than bugs! Bring her to breakfast tomorrow and I stand to make a hundred bucks from John and Doug, because four years ago, they bet me fifty each that you're a monk disguised as a scientist."

Taking Sara's hand, Grissom yanked her inside, and shut the door on the outside world. "I'll never hear the end of this tomorrow."

"Sorry." She squeaked. "I don't want to ruin your reputation."

"Are you kidding!" Taking her travel bag off her arm, he tossed it in a chair. "I can't wait to show you off and dispel all the rumors."

Leaning against the door, Sara enjoyed his happiness. "So…"

"So…"

Suddenly nervous about the task at hand, she giggled. "Wanna watch Bridget Jones Two?"

"Not particularly. No. How about we actually go a little further into the room?" Laughing he took her hand and joked. "Don't tell me you flew all this way, and now you're changing your mind? You were sure this is what you wanted. Now I'm sure. We're both in the moment. It's right, Sara." While savoring her with his eyes, he added, "Not to mention, you've been enticing me over the phone for three days to get me in the mood." Pulling her closer, he assured her further. "Honey, you were very effective at making me frustrated so you don't have to keep working at it. Trust me…I know what to do about this."

"No…no…that's not what I'm doing because it's obvious you're in the zone!" Squeezing his hand, she rambled her concerns. "It was different in the limo when I didn't know I was trying to…and could end up…" Dropping her head in her free hand, she groaned. "I can't say the words again. Oh god. This is pathetic. I have stage fright! I really want this, I really do but I'm…this could really happen…we could really make a…and suddenly I'm …it's the first time we're doing this to…"

"Do you need to talk Wallner lines?" He teased, "Because that really seemed to help you the other first time."

Returning her gaze to his, she smiled. "Please."

"Okay then." Cupping her face in his hands, he sweetly said, "Wallner lines are almost always concave in the direction from which the crack is propagating."

A radiant smile crested on her face. "Tell me…how can you determine the direction of the breaking force?"

While slipping his arms around her, he replied, "By observing the Wallner lines on radial cracks."

Her eyes fluttered shut. "Mmm"

"Do I have it right, Sara?" He whispered before trailing kisses down her neck.

"Yes…" She purred. "Review the 4R rule and I'll be fine…just fine."

"Ridges…on radial cracks…"

"Okay, 2 are enough," She breathlessly declared before claiming his mouth with a kiss…a kiss, which was eagerly returned.

Next Episode: The Morning After

Teaser: It's time to for everyone to wake up and smell the coffee! Oh, and Sara gets ready for her debut in Bugworld.