'Mary Sue'
Chapter 1: I am Andrew Angelsword
On a planet far, far away
In a time long, long ago,
Raged a battle between good and evil
And in the tradition of all story's,
Evil is winning.
But anyway like all classics story's we also need a hero!
And yes, you guessed it,
The fate of the universe rests on his shoulders!
But where do we find our young hero?
And blah blah blah blah…
Oh man,
George Lucas is going to have a field day…
"A hero always needs his sleep to regenerate and continue the ongoing fight against evil… BUT YOU ARE NOT A HERO YET SO GET THE HELL UP!!"
He jolts upright in bed to the sudden amount of noise being made.
"GET OUT OF BED AND GET YOUR LAZY ARSE IN GEAR ANDREW! YOU'VE OVERSLEPT AGAIN!!" shouts an angry voice from downstairs.
The boy gently rubs his eyes and glances at a clock on the other side of his room, before resuming to lie down again slowly falling asleep. Andrew jumps out of his skin and makes a double take at the timepiece when he realises that the clock is not saying 10 o'clock at night but 10 o'clock in the morning!
Andrew leaps out of bed in a panic, rushing around trying to get dressed quickly, to avoid further wrath of his already impatient Grandfather.
"Hurry up and get down here so that I can give you some unnecessarily gruelling chores to do!" shouted his grandfather, evermore irritated by Andrews slaking.
Andrew lets out a sigh of grief. He finally puts on a shirt and walks up to a mirror with a washbasin in the corner of his room. Turning on a tap Andrew fills the sink up to the brim with cold water before invigorating himself by means of a quick splash of water to his face.
Queue over the top introduction
Andrew glances up at the mirror running his fingers through his thick, spiky, sea blue hair. While wiping of the water from off his mug, Andrew longingly looks at himself, his golden eyes shining with a bright intensity like the treasures fashioned by the Incas and Aztecs of South American fate, his eyes highlighting his facial features, with a small button nose sitting among his smoothly crafted face, soft cheek bones settle finely under his soulful eyes. He turns away from the mirror and leaves the room to face the wrath of his Grandfather.
Dashing down stairs, grumbles from his Grandfather become more apparent. Andrew peers into the kitchen; he sees his Grandfather is stoking a fire in the centre of the room.
"It's about time. Now get to work you slaking oaf!" his Grandfather points to some farm tools in the corner.
Andrew shuffles to the corner and picks up the tools mumbling under his breath.
"And none of your back chat or I'll lay the smack down on ya!" shouting as Andrew leaves the room.
Andrew walks on talking to himself…
"If my parents were still alive everything would be so much better." he looks onwards to the rising sun, "But don't worry Mum and Dad I will strive to live on, I know I'll live on, because I am Andrew Angelsword!" he throws his hand in the air, in a classic anime style.
"AH! A SPIDER!" Andrew runs off screaming like a small schoolgirl.
The screen slowly fades out.
We're now in a small dark room. Not much can be seen, apart from a glowing computer screen in the corner with two adolescents huddled around. It's Sponge and Soviet Man.
"What the hell is this!?" shouts Sponge, "Why does he have a wash basin in his room? Why doesn't he need hair gel for his spiky hair? What's with the over the top explanation sequence?" the screen blacks out, "And his Grandfather saying 'I'll lay the smack down on ya' that's one of five things a Grandfather wouldn't write down on a chalk board"
BANG
Everything returns to silence.
Chapter two preview… (Nursery rhyme music plays)
Adam: I'm Adam.
Andrew: Hey
Phil: And I'm Phil.
Andrew: Excuse me!
Both: Here with the weather report.
Adam: Next chapter Mary Sue will have a rain of blood
Phil: Hey you're not in this fic yet.
Adam: Well you're not a Dark Lord yet.
Andrew: Again with the silliness.
(Nursery rhyme music ends)