The Q&A session will be found at the end of this chapter. Want a rant? Go check it out when you get there! That means I'll let you right on to the actual fic, now. This is the first week...
Week One - Water
Later that day, Gendou had finally come to a second announcement. He checked that his microphone was on by tapping it. Windows shattered. It worked.
He stood up and looked down at everyone. "Well, it seems that I and Ritsuko have finally decided what to do in the meantime. We can not be freed from this Geofront, so all we can do is stay here for the three weeks. The angel arrives at the end of those three weeks. The point is...
"We have made a list of household choirs for everyone to do. This excludes me, of course..." He held a scrolled list and let it unroll. It rolled down to the bottom of the giant room, across the floor, between some terminals and stuffed itself in to an unused room. Gendou was, at first, intending to read all that out until he had a better idea after actually having a better look at it.
"It will be sent to you by email shortly. The roster shall take effect tomorrow. That is all."
Gendou pressed a button on the top of the letter and the scroll wound itself back up neatly.
Shinji took a look at the list and found he had something to do that day. "Ah, man! Why don't they get the janitor to that stuff?"
He did it anyway and mopped his way down NERV. He kept his cap facing down over his face to avoid any recognition from anyone he passed. Today, though Shinji, is gonna be the most depressing day of my life. This has got to be my father's fault! But still, he was called to do this, and do this he must.
In the girls bathroom, Shinji continued to mop silently at the floor.
Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. Up. Down. Up. Down... huh? What's this? Why can't I rub it off?
Bending down, Shinji scrubbed a little harder at the black patch. It didn't move. Shinji looked at it, frustrated. This has presented itself as Shinji's first biggest obstacle. He put the mop back in the bucket and took out a brush and got down on his knees. He tried to scratch it off. It didn't work. Shinji took out his toothbrush and tried to scrub it off. Lightly, at first, but it soon engrossed him into scratching that bastard off. Within a minute, Shinji was doing it like he saw his father's face in it.
Meanwhile, Rei pushed the flush button. It didn't work. Two more futile attempts more, then she stopped. She saw why it didn't work, and resigned herself to opening the door.
She found that Shinji was on the floor beneath her feet.
Shinji noticed it and thought why there would be two feet in front of him. Because there is a person, there, of course. Who is this person? He looked up.
He was immediately taken aback.
He was staring up at Rei and up Rei's dress. He was even more surprised that she was wearing red hot panties. Red panties? Rei?!
Shinji jumped with a scream and realized he was simply getting further up Rei's dress. He fell back immediately, kicked his feet back and literally swept Rei off her feet though in the most ungraceful way.
She fell and ended up on top of Shinji.
Rei contemplated, for a moment, on what she should be doing next. Certainly, she had a feeling this sort of thing had happened before and she tried to think what happened after. Getting on top of someone. Staring at each others eyes.
"Err--" said Shinji in an extremely high-pitched voice, "I sortta don't mind if you go on like this..."
Rei realized she had her knee in Shinji's groin, and decided to stand up.
"Excuse me," she said and walked out the door.
Despite the pain, Shinji stared at her in wonder as she went out. Two stabs in the groin. Red panties... It meant something.
"I'll never close my eyes again..."
And he blinked.
"Shit!"
The next day, Misato went out to get a can of beer.
"Good morning, Katsuragi!"
"Hm," mumbled Misato as she stumbled down the corridor.
Her hair had the 'morning' look. She was still in pajamas. She needed beer.
"Major!" called Ritsuko's voice.
Misato turned around, eyes half-closed. "Hm?"
"Hi, just to remind you, you've got cooking duty tonight, so try not to overdo it, or at least get Shinji to help you. I don't know what the Commander was thinking when he put you on that list; of course, I tried to stop him but he was this cold lump of thing that I just can't get at. (You know how he is.) Anyway, if you want to get this cooking thing through as painlessly for us as possible, we've got a few boxes of Instant Ramen in the storage somewhere. You're an expert at this, right? Just look it up - ah, I've got the code for it here - and make sure you don't put too much curry in, okay? Last time I've... well, you know..." Ritsuko looked at Misato, carefully, and decided to end there. "Alright, I'll see you later."
"Hm," said Misato and she stumbled off to the fridge. Me on cooking duty? She thought. How thoughtful.
Misato opened the fridge and peered in. There was no beer. Oh, damn, she thought and fell unconscious.
The absence of her blood-alcohol level, that day, must also have contributed to what happened that evening.
That evening, Misato began the immense and downright grueling task of cooking dinner.
As she walked to the kitchen, she met Makoto on the way, who stopped her. "Hi, Misato! I hear you're cooking dinner, tonight. Can't wait to see what you'll cook up!" he said, cluelessly. "Last night, with Shigeru cooking, I never thought toasted marshmallow could get that sticky. Horrible. You are the Major, after all. I'm sure you'll be cooking up a storm!"
Misato smiled happily at Makoto. "I sure will!" It was true.
"So, Misato," asked Makoto, "what are you cooking?"
Misato continued her smile saying that it was the Misato's Secret Super Special Broth. She said she was also still working on it.
"Alright," said Makoto thoughtfully, "Can't wait!"
Misato smiled and went off to the kitchen.
In the kitchen, she rummaged through the cupboards to find what ingredients she should add to the broth. She managed to find five things: Sugar, eggs, salt, red wine and Ritsuko's Secret Prototype PVA Ultraglue. Misato looked at the bottle and shrugged, "What the heck!"
She put all the ingredients in and mixed it together in a giant, black pot. Mixing together the evilly black, thick soup. With the power in her arms, she brought the wooden spoon round repetitively. The only light in the room shone like the full moon upon this doing. A stifling aroma was created. A piercing noise was screeched. She laughed evilly.
Wait, did I just laugh like that? She thought, surprised at it. It felt great! Muahahahahahaha!!! And she continued to mix into the night...
She dipped her finger into the inky broth and pulled it out, the broth stretched as she pulled it out and eventually snapped with a deep, nauseating gloop. The liquid enveloped her finger, waiting to be tasted. Misato opened her mouth and stuck her entire finger in her mouth. She allowed a few seconds for the taste to come through, and she followed on to swallow...
Mm, not bad!
Throughout the halls of NERV, the dark silence was interrupted, momentarily, by the tinkling of a Triangle, amplified by the Dolby Digital Surround Sound®. As it rung, Misato's voice rang over it, "Come get it!"
As the first customer came in, the first thing he noticed was the cute little apron Misato wore with the slogan, "I 'HEART' T3!" Secondly, he noticed the big black pot that's bubbling a strange, new smell.
"What is this?" Said Gendou, just like that.
"It's my latest and greatest achievement in cooking history! I call it The Broth!"
Gendou looked at it. "What's in it?"
Misato happily replied, "A mixture of several of the best ingredients we've got! Which are eggs, milk, sugar, the good ol' red wine, PV--"
"Fine, give me a bowl."
"Here you are!" said Misato, handing a bowl. "Tell all your friends about me!"
Gendou got a spoon, and held the bowl of The Broth in his other hand. He delivered one last remark, pushing his glasses up with his spoon. "That will be for me to decide." And he walked.
He did not reply to Misato's "So that means you'll tell your friends, right?"
In the queue, Shinji looked up from his book, muttering, "What friends?"
Gendou stopped and turned his eyes on him, "I heard that!"
"D'oh!"
As Shinji walked up not very long later, he tripped on something and his book landed right in the pot. "Dammit!"
Misato was looking the other way and he quickly retrieved his book. He hoped he could clean it because it was from the library. As he tried to open his book, he noticed some very disturbing things:
Firstly, his book was firmly stuck together, making it impossible to open. Secondly, he saw that he tripped over a tub of Ritsuko's PVA Ultraglue. Thirdly, he noticed that Misato was actually cooking!
"Oh, my God!" yelled Shinji like the world would end. And he dashed out of the room and to his father. "There's still a little time!"
Faster than he had ever sprinted before, Shinji did things he never thought he could do. Going through the many corridors it took to get to Gendou's front desk, where he would be eating.
Shinji dodged some NERV personnel, leaped over a "Caution: Slippery" sign, flipped over Asuka (mopping the floor), and slid between Kouzou's legs.
Thank goodness I had that floor all waxed up, Kouzou thought.
Shinji had now reached up to Gendou's platform, and everything went slow-mo. He saw Gendou holding his spoon going up to his mouth as he ran. Shinji made a leap, a roll, a jump, and kicked Gendou's bowl away like a football.
"Splutter! What the-? Shinji you bastard! You've just stuffed up my dinner!"
"But it was PVA'd! Look!"
Gendou turned dramatically to where Shinji was pointing.
The bowl had sailed up and hit the ceiling. The contents were actually stuck onto the ceiling of the Command Center. However, the bowl didn't, and it fell, slowly,with a gloop...
As Maya walked, a bowl hit her on the head, causing herto fall back and hit a red button. The fire alarm went off and the sprinklers were spraying full-blast. Everything was drenched in the cold water.
Asuka, who mopped the floor, spilt the detergent and she immediately slipped onto the floor and slid down the rather sloped corridor, down to Gendou's desk. She hit Shinji with force, who then rolled ever Gendou's desk and off it, plummeting down a rather high height.
Instead of splattering, Shinji hit a large cargo-trolley full of empty boxes, causing only a few bruises. The trolley started to roll off.
To Shinji's alarm, he reached an extremely high speed and is about to hit a wall. Shinji screamed and tried to lean onto one side. He succeeded very well in avoiding the wall and he was left to control this trolley as he sailed down into the narrower corridors of NERV where he had never dared venture.
Left. Left. Right. LEFT! Right. Right. Bang! Right. Left. Miss. Left. Bang!
Shinji had no idea where he was going as he sailed down deeper into Terminal Dogma, knocking over some overly drenched employees. What seemed like a long time later, he eventually entered an extremely large room.
What caught his eye was a giant, half-grown, glowing Lilith stuck on a cross. Shinji stared at it in wonder and amazement. An unsure, open half-smile was slapped on his face. (You know that anime expression.)
Shinji continued to stare at it as he sailed across the flooded room and into an elevator. The doors closed and the elevator went up.
With the sprinklers still on, the elevator next to Gendou's desk opened and out sailed Shinji. Shinji's eyes widened and braced for the impact.
Gendou was knocked over and his glassed went flying off him.
"Argh! My glasses!" Gendou blindly patted the wet ground for his glasses. He could see not a thing. He succeedded in ripping Ritsuko's dress off as she came in, and Ritsuko screamed as she fell over. Her shoes went flying across the room and knocked the MAGI's holographic-projection projector out of its position.
Thanks to Kouzou, Gendou put his glasses back on, stood up and swung around to face the music. The projector swung straight into Gendou's eyes, and Gendou screamed again. "Argh!!! My eyes!"
He swung around and staggered in pain, clutching his face and covering his eyes. As he did, he knocked the trolley away, with Shinji still in it.
"Oh, no!..." began Shinji as he started to roll down the slope, slowly at first, but inevitably growing faster.
"No! NO!!!"
He went down at ultra-high speed. As he looked ahead of him, through the heavy sprinkled rain, he saw two figures. Shinji knew he couldn't dodge these ones. "GANG WAY!"
Rei tried to help Asuka up for the nth time. Asuka cursed at Rei and tried to get up for herself for the n1th time. Before she could fail again, Shinji went right into them.
Rei's strap of her dress got caught on the handle and she gracefully swung and landed on the back of the speeding trolley. Asuka's long fingernails dug into Shinji's shoulder and Asuka landed on the trolley as well.
Shinji gasped in pain as he tried to steer the trolley and get Asuka's fingernails off at the same time. "Asuka! Get your nails outta me!"
The trolley proceeded into Terminal Dogma, again.
Rei looked about her. So this is what terror feels like...
It has been proven that at times of intense excitement such as fear, a scary movie, etc. the hormones that causes this also affects the brain, in which people of the opposite sex will seem more attractive. So something happened, then, that Rei did not intend...
They went past Lilith again, staring at her in awe. They went into the elevator again. Lilith rolled all seven of her eyes. Boys...
Gendou finally got a hold of his desk again, and he squeezed his eyes in pain, looking down to the ground. The elevator pinged.
Kouzou braced himself this time. "Gendou, watch out," he said.
Gendou turned around to him, "What?!"
The elevator doors opened again and a bunch of screaming Children rolled out towards them.
With all the super-human strength Kouzou had, he stopped the trolley like superman would stop a train. Amazingly, he succeeded. However, the Children flew off it. Shinji and Rei knocked Gendou to the ground, and bounced off, sliding away into the corridors. Asuka fell on top of Kouzou.
Gendou closed his eyes as he lay on the flooded ground, water pouring on his body. He felt the water around him and commented, "It's cold."
A muffled reply came from between Asuka's breasts, "Actually, it's quite warm, here."
As the end credits scroll, the music plays "Weird Science".
What happened between Shinji and Rei? Why did she wear red panties? (I won't answer this, yet, actually.) More importantly, what will Ritsuko wear? Does the author have a fetish for burying heads in breasts? Will he actually tell? What is to become of... The Broth? (hint hint)
Once again, I hope you have enjoyed it. Credit to RePliKantfor that rather tardy proofing.
The second chapter comes pretty soon and I am sorry to tell that it will be the shortest of all. If you really wish - and I will be looking at the reviews - I will rewrite it to be longer, but I will require more time. If you like short stories (shorter than this one) then you'd like it, but those who like 'em long (and I'm sure many would like that) you won't be disappointed with the Third Week.
So drop by a review, even if it's just to tell me you've read it. I will feel my work has not been in vain.
So, Q&A:
Q - Seatbelts: "An obvious Comedy that seems to have no actual place in a Timeline... maybe you can work on the background of this 'World' a bit more?"
A: A few undertones scattered here and there, but, being a mainly humour fic, it's very hard to do that. The fic is actually set as much in the 'real world' as possible, with some things never mentioned becoming the turning points of our story. In other words... there is a history in this, but the scope of this can only hint at it like Lord of the Rings on its own world. Not that I'm comparing the fic to Lord of the Rings. The most important aspects of the unmentioned things and events will be elaborate upon.
Q - Seatbelts: the "Techie Trio" living together is a novel idea that should be explored further." (Not quite a question, actually.)
A: Unfortunately, we won't see much of them anymore, but I'll keep that in mind.
Q - Seatbelts: "perhaps we'll be blessed with an EVA Battle on a Snowfield?"
A: (I'm thinking "House of Flying Daggers".) The battle takes place after the Third Week. By then, the snow would have melted. Which is unfortunate, but there has to be a way... (hint hint)
Q - Seatbelts: "An EVA Comedy without Kensuke is a criminal offence, you know..."
A: He and Toji must be outside, playing in the snow or something. Watch out for Week Three.
Q - Anonymous: "It was cute up until the sleigh, at which point it went from being mildly amusing to just dopey." (Not a question, for the fourth time.)
A: That's because of Gendou's character. I'll do many other things with him, as you may have had a taste of, already. When people go through experiences, they change. They never stay the same. From what they will experience throughout the weeks, things will be different in the end. I hope you continue to read through to the end, or you would have had only the less glamorous side of the fic (being a prologue and all).
Hehe, I rant too much.