This is the deep breathe before the plunge. In other words, this is the last time you'll see your characters in the typical chaos that you are, thus far, accustomed to. In other words, next week is when it really begins. That all just means that the sooner I get this over and done with, the sooner I can complete the last week.
So, avoiding further ado, let's just get straight on with it.
Week Two - Fire
After some recovery time, that whole incident was happily out of everyone's minds. The rest of the week went on smoothly.
As for Shinji, he had had troubles. He kept having a recurring dream... a dream he can't easily shrug off... A really good dream. By Wednesday, Shinji knew something big was going on. He knew it had to do with Rei. He knew this obsession; and there's nothing he could do about it. However, he also knew there was one thing he could do in the midst of it.
Ritsuko walked up to Misato whilst she was playing video games on the computer. Ritsuko wore a new dress she had to borrow from Maya. It was a long, white, flowing dress that reached the floor, covering her feet. The one you wouldwear whilst gardeningduring a mid-summer's day. It also came complete with an elegant straw hat with a sunflower-head of the side. It was a beautiful dress. It was absolutely ridiculous on Ritsuko.
Misato paused her game and turned to face Ritsuko, barely containing her laughter, already. Ritsuko closed her eyes in fury and calmly said, "This was all your fault."
Misato laughed a really drunken one as she found a crate full of beer, previously in the storage room. Not that it made any sense, but it had the best taste over any other Yebisu after being aged for many years, stored in that room for the times when you really need a Yebisu for the odd celebration or two here and there in the fourteen or so years NERV had been in existence. Misato was polite enough to only take a single crate for the time being. It wouldn't last the night.
With her eyes still closed, Ritsuko said, "It's your turn to cook again."
Upon hearing this, Gendou, on the other side of the room at his desk, stood up with his arms on the table shouting in his almighty voice, "Nooooooooo!!!!!"
Everyone looked up at Gendou with a sweatdrop. The hell?
Gendou realized his reactionwas a bit over-the-top. He looked around a bit thinking of something to say...
"Uh... I meant... let Rei do it!" He, himself, formed a sweatdrop at the back of his head that only Kouzou noticed.
On, yet, the other side of the room, Rei nodded. "Yes, sir."
At the good old kitchen, Rei was preparing to cook. She had a few boxes of Instant Ramen, thanks to Ritsuko, and a big black pot. Where to begin? She thought. She looked at what she had sternly, thinking. Cooking was not the type of textbook she had ever borrowed to study. Sure, she had learnt the names of many vegetarian dishes and pizzas she could order over the phone and could whisper to the guy on the other side, which wouldsend a chilling shiver up his spine like it was a death threat straight out of a slasher film; but she had never even seen a big black pot up close, before. Strangely enough, not many people in the world have had seen a big black pot before that could be out of a McBeth play; yet, there it was. What was Rei to do with it?
"Do you need a hand, Ayanami?" said a voice from the door.
Rei looked at the door; the light streaming in from outside showed a silhouette of a boy leaning cooly on the door-frame. The kitchen was quite dark, and quiet, echoing the boy's words for a moment.
Rei looked at him without expression, and ever so slightly, she nodded.
Shinji walked in and looked at that she had. "Instant Ramen?" he said to himself, then to Rei. "This is time that you begin to learn how to live."
Shinji picked up the pot and gestured to it, "Water."
By the end of the day, Rei had had a pot full of cooking Ramen thanks to Shinji. Now, she continued to stir it. As time continued, Shinji indicated that the most common mistake in making instant ramen, these days, is that it has been undercooked.
"The wheat had not enough time to soak up the water," he said. "So the ramen is not at its best. There are those who may leave the ramen, forgetting for several minutes, as it sits in the pot, or bowl, or cup or whatever they might put it in. The water dilutes the ramen's flavour and ruins its texture, that way. Yet, this is not overcooking, because the water would have cooled down dramatically. I'm no chemistry expert, but I know that ramen is at its consumable worst in such a state. Techniques, though not haven ever been written for any instant foods, become the key to making Instant Ramen a perfection. I've developed my own over the years, and took note of how and how not to stir ramen and whatnot. However, take note of the way you stir it right now. Many people don't stir ramen enough, and also in the wrong way. You stir it like you've been doing it all your life! Fabulous."
Rei silently took all this in. At last, she was learning something from somebody for the first time in many years instead of from a book (which also was many years ago). To her horror, she soon realized, she was also being complemented for something other than her profession. This stirred her.
Rei looked at Shinji right in his eyes, yet she couldn't think of much to say, despite knowing, before, that she had something to ask. So, she remained looking at Shinji, who answered her question anyway. "Yeah. With a few more pointers in the other areas of cooking, I'd say you could be the next me - I say this as modestly I can, of course." He was resting his head on his hand, leaning of the bench, smiling. In admiration? In thought? It was a very unusual sight for Rei, yet this Shinji complemented her in her cooking. Now he's looking into her eyes as she cooked.
She looked back at her pot, not saying a word, and continued to stir.
Shinji had surprised himself, as well. It turned out he could really flirt when he wanted to. Not so long as three minutes later, Shinji was behind Rei, holding her hands and showing her his secret to stirring ramen, his body and hers touching perhaps even intimately. His head leanedover her shoulder. And Rei? Rei rather enjoyed being guided on how to cook by Shinji. She tilted her head a little nearer to Shinji's left shoulder, almost like snuggling it, with a little smile on her face, unseen by Shinji; but Shinji knew she was smiling.
She was smiling.
After a moment without talk, Shinji stopped. "Well, I'm afraid we can stir no further," he said, all of a sudden. He let go, reached to the side, and turned off the flame in one quick motion. He looked at Rei with a sad smile. "My work, here, is done," he said, like he knew this moment would come sooner later.
He did not move but continued to look at Rei's face. Rei looked away to the pot. She dipped her finger in (with clean hands), and tasted it. Her ramen- no, Shinji's ramen was almost magical in her mouth.
"It's good," she said, turning to Shinji.
Shinji looked at Rei, now a little uncertain, but proceeded. "Rei," he said, putting a hand on hers, then carefully taking them, leaning closer. His mouth trembled slightly for a second. "Do you know how to love?" An incredibly bold question.
Rei looked to the side, her eyes downcast, and paused for a second; she thought and replied, "No."
Shinji came closer and held Rei's chin, letting her face automatically turn to him. With a pause, he said, "Let me show you..."
He leaned towards Rei. Rei closed her eyes softly. Her own mouth trembled.
Seeing something that was about to happen that she wouldn't believe could happen without breaking the universal flow of possibility, causing the corruption of the universe and its cataclysmic end, Asuka charged into the room and tackled Shinji to the ground. She followed through to punch him and bash him up.
"YOU PERVERTED HENTAI!!! JACKASS FREAK!! HOW DARE YOU! Etc..." Which was absolutely understandable. What just happened would have seemed, even to the third person of such a situation, utterly impossible.
Many comical sounds that would normally be found in a Warner Bros. cartoon came as the pulpification of Shinji continued.
Gendou walked in through the door on time, and Rei turned from the fight to face him.
"What's this?" said Gendou, without a hint of concern in his voice.
"It's 'Poor Man's Rama,'" Rei said, reading from the packet.
"Fine, give me a bowl," he said, and walked out the door with a lovely bowl of Poor Man's Rama a minute later.
Behind that very door, Misato schemed with an extremely evil smile. "Think my cooking's bad? Hehehe...!" She intended to take revenge after loosing face for being labeled a bad cook the week previous.
With that, she held a tank of petrol and poured it into a bowl, half filled with her own ramen. Aside from the smell, no one could tell the difference between a typical bowl of ramen and her evil, toxic miscreation of such. She walked after Gendou.
On the other side of NERV HQ, Fuyutsuki heard something on his plug from the Dolby Digital system. He was alarmed, but he knew what he had to do. It's now up to me to save the day!
Misato walked up casually behind Gendou, her hips swayed heavily from side to side. She went around slightly and hit Gendou with her butt, making him spill the contents of his bowl on the floor. Typical of Gendou, he glared evilly at Misato... like he could fire her. Misato apologize.
"Oh, Commander! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean any of this, really! I mean, I... uh!" She pretended to think and said, "Here..." She handed him her bowl. "Have mine and forgive this poor lady with short-sightedness."
Gendou smiled, suddenly, which would haveknocked a NERV personnel off his guard, spilling detergent on the floor. "Oh, how decent of you."
He took the bowl and walked off to his desk. At his desk, he sat down with his ramen. He sniffed the bowl for a second... He then took out his chop sticks.
On the side of NERV's Command Center, to the right of Gendou's desk, a tiny figure emerged from the door way and ran up towards Gendou. He could already see Gendou about to eat from the bowl.
Fuyutsuki can see the moment of truth coming. In slow-motion, Kouzou shouted, "Nooooooooo...!!!" And he made a dramatic, Matrix leap from the causeway right to Gendou's desk.
Gendou's chop sticks were halfway up to his mouth as Kouzou was in mid-air, flying without guidance towards him. He was many feet from the ground floor, below him, but Kouzou payed no heed.
It was now or never.
And it was bullet-time.
Previously, Rei had walked out of the kitchen from all the screaming and bashing, and nearly tripped over a red tank. In an instant, her logic circuits deducted that Misato is going kill Gendou unless Rei can help it. She knew she had roughly 24 seconds till the deadline...
From under her skirt, she pulled out her flare gun, attached to her upper-outer thigh and readied it.
She ran.
Back to Kouzou, still in mid-air/slo-mo, halfway there; Rei slid and entered the room on the other of Gendou's. She held up her gun with two hands, already kneeling whilst sliding along the floor to take aim, and fired two shots.
Ch-l-l-i-ck! Kya-a-Bo-o-ommm...!!! Ch-l-l-i-ck! Kya-a-Bo-o-ommm...!!! (Note: "Ch" is pronounced as a German would pronounce it in "Tochtor". It is the rendered approximation of what "c-" would sound like in slow motion. And I know what "c-"sounds like in slow motion.)
In bullet-time, now, the two shots flew through the air, leaving behind shock waves. A flare zipped past Kouzou, who looked at it in slo-mo with stupidity. The second raced up right at Kouzou, and blew up in his butt. Pang!
"Yyyooooowww!!!" Screamed Kouzou and he fell short of Gendou altogether.
He managed to land on the exposed parts of MAGI and blew the whole thing up in a gigantic explosion. Kouzou was propelled immediately back up at the ceiling and got stuck frontwise in The Broth. He continued to scream as the flare illuminated his backside.
So much for saving the day.
The first flare made its way up. Up to Gendou's bowl.
With a moment of still suspension, it popped into Gendou's bowl and exploded.
The bowl remained intact, but the whole of Command Center was litten up by the explosion, with the help of MAGI. From within the bowl, a mini-atomic bomb fireball, complete with a mushroom cloud, shot up and continued to shoot up.
It set Gendou's beard alight. Gendou was motionless as the fireball blew up in his face.
Managing to get away from Asuka, Shinji ran and slid to a halt at the door behind Gendou. "Hey, why is the room so bright in here? Isn't it always dark and cold like my father? What the-?" Shinji noticed that his father's hair was on fire. "Father! No!"
In another attempt to achieve something out of The Matrix by NERV, Shinji grabbed the fire extinguisher, jumped and rolled in mid-air. He hit the ground next to Gendou and, on his knees, sprayed Gendou's head with foam.
Guess what? Gendou was saved, but the foam that remained clinging to Gendou's face was, somehow, suggestive in a particular way...
Asuka rolled up after Shinji (intending to continue his pulpification) but was immediately distracted by the other man in question. She laughed.
"Hey, look! It really is Grumpy Santa! Ha!"
Gendou, with the foam that gave him the distinct Santa Beard, finally cracked with a girly scream, and cried in his arms, face down on his desk.
Another scream...
Shinji turned to the source dramatically, searching. Another person to save? His eyes met a glowing butt on the ceiling and he went for it.
Carrying his extinguisher, he pressed a little button at the side of Gendou's desk, which activated the fire ladder to come out in front of it.
NERV's got everything, hasn't it? He thought as he climbed up.
When he finally reached Kouzou's butt, he sprayed it quickly and effectively around, finally putting out Rei's flare. Unfortunately, the foam reacted with The Broth, and it started to harden. Before Shinji could do anything, The Broth cracked like Unit-01's mouth-sealant, and Kouzou fell straight down that rather high height.
Down.
Down.
Down...
Kouzou finally hit Maya, braking his fall, and rolled to the side.
As Maya got up to see what fell on her and bash the hell out of it, Kouzou lay on his side with his head on his hand, quickly and as casually as possible. "Hey, baby, what's up?" He said, trying to smile.
Maya slapped him.
"I don't date older men."
Kouzou was left rubbing his cheek.
He walked up back up, he got up to Gendou and tried to comfort him. Gendou was still sobbing into his arms. The white foam was still in place of his hair.
Kouzou was distracted by a figure leaning on the doorway next to the desk.
"Hey," said Misato mockingly. "Is it still Christmas?"
As the credits roll, the music plays "It's Raining Men".
What was Shinji on? Will Misato remain the evil petrol-wielding antagonist? Will Gendou have to remain in psychiatric care? Will Fuyutsuki ever get credit for doing anything cool? (No.) Can the MAGI be fixed from that fiery fate? Is Rei on the verge of a super-tight personality-changing curve? (Only slightly.) How can I possibly finish off this fic with only one chapter to go...?! (hint hint)
Guess what? The third week comes next!!! Woohoo!!! Sad thing is that it'll take a while, as it will be as long as the past two weeks and prologue combined. To cater for those who like shorter chapters or have a short attention span, I will be placing intermissions at the appropriate times to suggest for a break to those who need it. You can go for as long as you need, and come back with a clearly labeled book-mark right there for you.
I don't know exactly when it will come out, but I'll try my best amidst the pile of school work that will continue to pile up in the near future. Wish me luck.
Q&A (note: a lot of the following aren't technically questions):
Q - Seatbelts: "I'm guessing that 'The Broth' Of Doom will have something to do with snow..."
A: Incorrect. It was just an extremely adhesive type of broth that Misato cooked up at random. The main ingredient is, as you'd understand, Ritsuko's Secret Prototype PVA Ultraglue (which she hasn't trademarked yet), but also egg whites. The protein in the eggs reacted with an active ingredient found in Ritsuko's PVA glue in the heat, causing it to suddenly change color (from light blue to brown) and makes it highly reactive to the foam found in fire extinguishers. It looses it adhesive ability greatly, but it is still very thick. The alcohol in the red wine is responsible for containing the horrible smell that would normally tell any sane person that you can't eat this thing. The only thing that I can find that is relevant to the topic of snow is that the melting point is below -30° C (-22° F).
Q - Seatbelts: "as well as possibly mutating into an Angel."
A: Since the protein no longer exists after coming into contact with the PVA Ultraglue, there's no way it could mutate into anything. Sorry. However, the glue is reactive to angel-formed proteins; not that anyone knows that. Hehe.
Q - Seatbelts: "Oh, and what about those 3 Pilots from 'Girlfriend of Steel'? Will they be in this?"
A: I am unfamiliar with this. Here is the list of characters that I know will NOT be in this fic for future reference: Yui, Hikari, Naoko (in person), Kyoko, Unit-03, Keel& other SEELE members, Mana& other Girlfriend of Steel characters, Mayumi, and The Mass Production Evas. Of course, the list is largely incomplete. I am lazy, today.
Q - Seatbelts: "And the 'Directional Sequence' during Shinji's floor mopping was the Konami Code, right?"
A: Yeah, but for which console? (hint hint)
Q - Lone Wulffe: "More, please!"
A: Yes, way more. Muahahahahaha!!!
More will come, but let's hope soon.