Ghost of You, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: The pups and Molly belong wholly and completely to J.K. Rowling. I'm just a fangirl who decided to have some free, non-profiting, fun! Oh, and the song totally belongs to Good Charlotte!

Warning: OotP Spoilers and minor slash. You have been officially warned.

Notes: Yes m'dears, this is a songfic. I was listening to my Good Charlotte CD when I got this itching to write a Remus/Sirius fanfic to "Ghost of You". So, a month later, here it is, finally I suppose.

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Ghost of You

By: Kristi Light

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I will wait until the end
When the pendulum will swing back
to the darker side of our hearts bleeding
I will save this empty space
next to me like its a grave
where I lay a place for us to sleep eternally together

He walked slowly into the room they use to share together, him and his Sirius. The small grandfather clock softly chimed in the corner of the dismal room. The only light that reached his eyes was from a crack in the dense velvet curtains that were loomed over the windows. He sighed as he walked slowly to the old oak-framed bed. He finally gave up as he placed all his weight on his hands that were now resting on the soft mattress. This was getting to be too much for him. Sirius wasn't supposed to leave yet, and Sirius definitely wasn't supposed to leave Remus behind to suffer the pain he was feeling now.

Shrugging off the feeling momentarily, he shakily stood up-right again. He carefully, slowly, cautiously pulled on his pajamas before slipping underneath the cruel warmth of the comforter. He shifted to rest on his side, facing the section of the bed that his lover used to sleep on. He stroked the pillow, cautiously, tentatively, before burying his face in it, crying silent tears trying to find Sirius' faint scent in the folds of the pillow, eventually crying himself to sleep.

I have been
Searching for
Traces of
What we were
A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
and nothing left of what we were at all

He jumped up, and frantically glanced around the room from his position on the bed. He could've sworn that… No, Sirius wasn't there, he was gone forever to some unknown place where Remus couldn't reach him, couldn't call him back. He sighed then carefully stepped out of his bed, shivering as his feet touched the menacing, cold, hard floor. He lightly stepped into the bathroom and gazed into the mirror, feeling only slightly surprised at his reflection. The circles under his eyes were darker than usual and around his eyes was a puffy, red tint. He turned the faucet and splashed cold water onto his face, after all, he had to put on his best appearance for the others; he couldn't let them know that Sirius was still haunting his thoughts after so long.

So here I am pacing around this house again
With pictures of us living on these walls
I see my breath in the cold of the air that I breathe and I'm wondering
I'm wondering if its you that I feel if its you that I feel here haunting me forever

He walked briskly out of the bathroom and over to his dresser, just as he was beginning to rummage through his neatly folded shirts when his fingers brushed over a glossy surface. He carefully picked the small item out from between the folds of a shirt to gaze at it, realizing that it was indeed a picture. However, it was a picture of much happier times and as he gazed upon it the tears started to form once more in his eyes.

For, in the picture, was Remus on the far left side of the picture, smiling happily with his right arm over Sirius' shoulders. Sirius, in turn, was smiling more brightly than his mate, Sirius' left arm was wrapped protectively around Remus' waist and his right arm was slung casually over James' shoulder. Both James and Peter were smiling, but not as brightly as the two lovers, their arms respectively slung over shoulders, connecting all four of them together. Every now and again as Remus watched the four seventeen-year-olds, he would spy Sirius giving Remus a quick kiss on the cheek and Remus blushing in return.

Finally snapped back into reality by a polite rap on the door from Molly Weasley, telling him that breakfast was ready, he gently placed the picture on the top of the dresser. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face then drew in a shuddering breath before finishing getting dressed for the new day.

and I'm not looking for
anything but us
anything but what we were
and I'm not asking for
painted memories
I only want to know you're here

It was later that day, and Remus found himself looking in the bathroom mirror, staring at his worn-out reflection once more. His gaze finally dropped to his wrists and hands that lay on the cool, hard counter. He clenched them tightly, feeling his nails make impressions into his palm, as he slowly turned his menacing gaze towards the mirror. Sirius wasn't supposed to be gone, but since he was, Remus decided to join him. Without a warning, his wrists flew towards the malicious mirror, in dire hopes that the shattering mirror would slit his wrists and free him from this pain.

However, his hands stopped in mid-air, just before contact with the cruel, unforgiving mirror. He felt a pair of invisible hands grip his wrists tightly and slowly draw them down to Remus' side. Then, his werewolf ears picked up something that no one else could have heard, even if they wanted to.

"Remus, don't do this to yourself..." He gasped then barely managed to utter a whisper in shock, "Sir… Sirius?" The weight on his hands then lifted as Remus collapsed onto his knees on the cold tile floor, his body shaking with tears.

A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
and nothing left of what we were at all
A ghost of you
is all that I have left
is all that I have left of you to hold
I wake in the night to find there's no one there but me
and nothing left of what we were at all.

"Ghost of You" by Good Charlotte