1. Glitch-Bob is by far the best Bob.
2. Season 3 rocked my socks, as did the Daemon Rising arc of Season 4 (though to a lesser degree).
3. My Two Bobs, however, was pure unmitigated crap.
4. Writing slash is good clean fun.
In accordance with these rules, this fic takes place after Daemon Rising, but assumes the second Bob never stepped out of the portal. Because really, it would have been better that way.
The alleyway where it all began was more or less indistinguishable from any dark and seedy alleyway in Mainframe. Until a nanosecond ago, it had contained exactly two empty crates, one pile of assorted garbage, one foraging null, and one runaway binome, huddled beneath a threadbare blanket.
That binome was about to learn exactly how quickly things can change.
Two sprites now stood in the alley, coolly surveying their surroundings. The tall one touched a few buttons on the apparatus over his eyes and turned in a slow circle, scanning the alleyway. The terrified runaway stared in shock - the sprite was built like a tank, and looked like he would have had no problems with turning a binome or two to dust if they got in his way.
If he hadn't been so distracted by this, he would have noticed that now the alleyway contained, besides himself and the two sprites, exactly one full dumpster, one ladder, one military-issue duffel bag, and one fleeing null.
"All clear," said the tall sprite in a voice like two boulders grinding together.
The shorter one examined his hands. There was nothing unusual about them - they were exactly the kind of hands one would expect to see on a sprite no more than a few hours old. "This form is distressing," he said, and his voice sounded almost exactly like one would expect from a sprite no more than a few hours old, but somehow softer and wiser. "Though not entirely unexpected. It will take some time to achieve full operating capacity."
"Don't trouble yourself with it, sir." The tall one
pressed another button on his headgear, and the bulk of it retracted
into iteself. All that remained was a pair of green lenses over his
eyes. He flexed his arms briefly, straightened his uniform, and picked
up the military-issue duffel bag, swinging it effortlessly over his
shoulder.
"I'll handle everything until then."
"Very good, Kernel," said the child with one last look at his fingernails. "Have you determined our next objective?"
The Kernel pointed over the child's head. "The Principal Office is that way. On foot, we can reach it before daybreak."
"Lead the way." In another couple of nanoseconds, they were gone.
The runaway binome shivered under his blanket and contemplated going back home to his parents.
Bob held the colored metal sphere between his thumb and forefinger and peered at it with one eye. He shook it experimentally, and it made a soft chiming sound. He picked up the second one from the box on Phong's filing cabinet and held them both in one hand for a moment before twirling them together, the movement creating more muted tones.
Phong watched over steepled fingers as, two nanos later, they both fell from Bob's grip, causing the guardian to dive to catch them.
"My child," said Phong with a sigh, "did you come to talk, or to waste time?"
Bob flashed an embarrassed grin over his shoulder as he hurriedly returned the balls to their case. "Sorry, Phong," he said, sitting in the chair he'd been avoiding since he arrived. "I'm just not sure where to begin."
"I find the beginning to be a very good place."
"That...makes sense." Bob sighed, running his hand through his hair. "It's about Dot. And the engagement."
"Are you having doubts?"
"To put it mildly. It seems crazy, after all we've been through together, and I know that she loves me. But now things are different. I'm different." He fumbled helplessly with his words, struggling to string his sentences together into something coherent. "I'm not even me anymore. Not really."
Phong cocked his head. "I am not sure I understand."
"Okay, bad choice of words. I'm still me, but I'm not the Bob she fell in love with, or the Bob that fell in love with her. When I merged with Glitch, I became something else. It's hard to explain." Bob rubbed the bridge of his nose while Phong watched expectantly. "A keytool isn't just a tool - it's a sentient being. It has a personality, a life and memories of its own. When we merged, it's like another person moved into my head. I'm still the same sprite I always was, but now I'm Glitch, too - I've got memories of people I've never known, and feelings I can't explain or understand, even though I know exactly why I'm feeling them." Bob slumped in his chair, his posture that of a defeated man.
In the uncomfortable silence that followed, Phong said, "And this is affecting your feelings for Dot?"
"No!" Bob shot upgright in the chair, bristling, but relaxed again quickly. "Maybe. I'm not sure. I've never had to deal with this before, or even heard about it - merging with your keytool isn't exactly covered in Guardian 101. I've just got a lot to work out, and I don't want to drop this all on her until I figure it out a little better myself. I'm confused enough for the both of us right now."
"Do you love her?"
Bob's voice was desperate, pleading. "I don't know. Or, I do know, but it's complicated. I love her, but he...or I...this is so weird." He took a breath and started again. "Bob, the part of me that is Bob, loves her desperately. But Glitch...Glitch barely knows her. Sometimes I don't even know where Bob ends and Glitch begins. It feels like things are moving too fast, and at the same time, not fast enough."
Phong rose and crossed to the filing cabinet. "Perhaps you just need to take it slow," he said, examining the meditation balls that had fascinated Bob earlier. "Give all of you a chance to get to know her. Perhaps, in time, the part of you that is Glitch will come to feel the same as the rest of you."
"Yeah, maybe," said Bob softly.
"You do not sound very sure, my child."
"I'm not."
"Whether you are sure or not, one thing is certain. Dot loves you, and you owe it to her to tell her how you feel, even if you are confused. Perhaps she can even help you learn about yourself, if you give her the chance."
Gazing upwards, Bob took a deep breath. "You're right," he finally said, his voice calmer. He stood and turned to face his mentor. "Just like you always are. I'll go talk with her, and-"
His words cut off abruptly as he completed his turn, and finally had a look at Phong. Something was terribly wrong.
The aging sprite was perfectly still, staring up at the ceiling. A golden light surrounded him, illuminating him in warm tones. Electricity crackled in the air, making the back of Bob's neck tingle as he stood, shocked, unable to move or even to decide what he'd do if he could move.
Phong's eyes were wide with terror and surprise. Spurred into action, the guardian reached for him.
"Oh, dear," he said, and vanished. Only a faint glow remained, and even that disappeared shortly thereafter.