A/n: that last chapter ended good but because I'm carrying over this one might be a bit confusing at first, but you just need to remember the last line of the chapter before this. Please review and thank you to those who have.

Disclaimer: same as always, don't own nothing.

My words confuse him, but he eventually figures it out and nods. I get up and head back to the ship, once there I realize that Morpheus is there.

"Are you alright?" he looks at me.

"No, but then again, I'll never be alright again," my voice has no life in it.

"Ignore them, a lot of them do have reasons to not trust you, but after you were gone I made it known that they have never treated anyone so horribly," he chuckles, "I think I made them feel guilty."

I look at him, and he knows I don't want to talk about the ceremony.

"I talked to the councilman that spook today. He asked if everything was okay. Neo, did you say something, again?" Neo acts like he hasn't been listening.

"Oh, Morpheus, you know me better than that," he replies with a dry tone.

"That's exactly why I suspect you," Morpheus mumbles in response.

"You know the councilor, he's always suspecting one thing or another, and to tell you the truth, he's usually right," this is all I care to hear, and I walk to my bedroom, knowing that no one cares.

I sit in silence for a while, pondering Neo's words, and the truth behind them.

Because the next time someone will see, and the council will kill you.

I hear a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" my voice is rough.

"Just let me in," it's a female voice, and she's very annoyed.

I get up and walk to the door. When I unlock it she automatically enters and shuts the door. I get frightened and back off.

"What do you want?" my voice is a mask for my fear.

"Look, I'm not going to hurt you," she answers plainly telling that I'm scared.

"Then why are you here?" I don't see any reason for her to be here.

"I'm one of Morpheus' few friends. Many trust him, but they're more like followers. Not me, I'm a friend," to me there is no difference.

"That says nothing about you being here," I answer.

She laughs, "You at least kept the arrogance, but let us hope, for your sake, you forgot how to kill."

I turn away from her, and she speaks again, "Morpheus doesn't know that I'm here, but I wanted to talk to you."

"Why?"

"For an agent you sure ask a lot of questions."

"I can't be an agent anymore," I answer with a cold fire in my eyes.

"Funny, could have fooled me," she looks at me.

"Look, if you're here to help why not help everyone out and kill me," I flat out say it.

"I have every reason to. Shit, half the people in Zion do, but how does that help you?" she questions too deep for her own good.

"Trust me, it will," I look at her and brace myself for bullet impact, a bullet impact that never comes.

"I'm not here to kill you," she states.

"Then why are you here?" I must have asked her a million times.

"Because, Morpheus told me that you had been staying in your room almost all the time and I wanted to know what you do in here, besides talk to me," she states.

"Think," I answer.

"Think?"

"You asked what I do, so I'm answering. I think."

"About what?"

"A lot of things," I sit down.

"Being an agent?" a good guess.

"Not too much," but not on target, "mostly about death."

"Then you're afraid to die?"

"I don't know," I answer.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Exactly what it should mean that I don't know," I'm a little annoyed.

"Well, would you welcome it?" she asks.

"No, and yes," I whisper the last part.

"Well, which?"

"I wouldn't welcome it because I've died so many times. Yet I would welcome it to end all of my pain," I look away.

"What's worse, dying or the pain?" after she asks this there is a long silence.

I finally break it, "When I took in the Oracle as one of my clones I learned something. It's something that she told everyone. 'We can never see past the choices we don't understand'. I guess I just don't understand enough of my existence to tell you. I don't know why Neo destroyed me. I don't know why I was brought back. I don't know why I had new powers. I don't know why I destroyed the Matrix. And I especially don't know why I died again, just to be brought back again," I stare at my feet, with a sudden fascination.

"But were any of those really your choices?" she asks after a little while.

"What?"

"Could you have chosen something else? I think that you really just don't understand one thing," she replies.

"And what's that?"

"Why you have to accept everything you just told me. It's not that you don't understand the actions, it's that you don't want to accept that they ever happened," she looks over to me and I look up.

She turns to the door again, and then adds over her shoulder, "Think about that."

She leaves, and when she does I think about what she said, only to confuse myself further.

A/n: tell me what you think! Review!