How You Picture Things
Authors Note: Chapter three is here. Yay for Chapter 3! Okay, I must say that the reviews have been awesome and amazing. I would love for you all to continue right on doing what you are doing. I want to thank you all, especially people who have continuously reviewed because it's really nice and really helpful.
Spoilers: None.
Premise: Set after "Jews and Chinese Food" But before, "So Good Talk." The whole town wants Luke and Lorelai to get back together so they decide to do something about it.
Chapter 3 "Etiquette Books and Hope":
"Well, do you want to fall apart? Well I could, if you can't try and fix what I've undone, because I hate what I've become." First Single (Cause A Scene), The Format
"I wonder what they all pictured happening in this little scenario they invented." Lorelai thought out loud as she popped another one of Sookie's cookies in her mouth.
Lorelai and Luke had made there way from the office and were now both safely back on their respective yoga mats.
Lorelai noticed that some of the immediate tension and initial shock of being with Luke was beginning to wear off. Like any situation the tension rises and then it plateaus, and Lorelai was just happy to be on a flat surface. She noted that she was beginning to feel less like a scared puppy and a little more like herself.
Lorelai was laying flat on her back looking up at the ceiling as she spoke, "I mean did they think that we would realize we were stuck in here, and be like oh what the hell and just start…." Lorelai trailed off when she realized that completing the rest of her thought was probably not the best idea.
"And just start what?" Luke asked his interest peaked. Luke was also lying on his mat and he shifted his body to the side to look at Lorelai.
"Um well…" Lorelai stuttered, "Well, I was going to say 'just start making out.' Then I decided that might be an awkward thing to say given the situation we are in. I mean that stuff only happens in movies, ya know? But, I guess that's what they were hoping that this would turn out like a movie. So anyway, I stopped myself from saying it. Although, I guess I didn't do a very good job because I just said it to you anyway. Which I am sure was a mistake. This will probably end in another wave of uncomfortable silence. You know silence is a real killer for me. Always has been, I was always that girl cracking a joke to lighten up a situation. Even if there was nothing to say I always thought of something. Of course you do know that. You more than anyone besides maybe Rory have been on the receiving end of a lot of my nonsensical ramblings. It's just I am a natural talker. I talk, I ramble it's my thing. Look, I am doing it right now and I really need to stop so…"
Lorelai put her hands over her face in embarrassment. Maybe feeling more like herself wasn't such a great thing.
"Lorelai, this is weird for me too. There is no etiquette book for this particular situation. Not that I am one to read etiquette books but I am just saying…" Luke didn't really know how to continue.
Now it was Lorelai's turn to ask him to finish his thought. "You're just saying what?"
"I guess just that this is weird." Luke lamely concluded.
"Yes, weird. I think we can safely say without a doubt that this is weird for the both of us." Lorelai summarized.
Lorelai was completely right about one thing the weird comment was the beginning of another patch of silence. Lorelai decided to concentrate on eating the cookies and keeping her mouth shut. While Luke turned to lie on his back and decided to pass the time by silently count the squiggly lines on the ceiling.
When Lorelai finished the last of the cookies the sugar rush mixed with the prolonged silence gave her a bit of courage. "Hey, Luke," Lorelai timidly started.
"Yes," Luke answered.
"You think it will be like this forever?" Lorelai managed to get out.
"What will?" Luke questioned.
He thought he knew exactly what Lorelai was asking but he stalled answering anyway. She wanted to know if they would like this forever. Would they always ignore each other and be hurt? Would anytime they were together be filled with awkward silences and uncomfortable glances? Would this be the only time they ever talked, simply because they were forced to by being stuck in this hell hole? Could they fix this? Should they even try? Is it too late? Could at the very least they be friends?
Luke knew this is what she was asking because they were the same questions going through his own head. However, something held him back from answering. He was a stubborn man with a broken heart and a part of him believed it shouldn't be him having to answer these questions. After all, it had been Lorelai who made him question everything about their relationship in the first place. She was the one who lied to him, it was her family, and it was her ex. She was the one who created the questions with her actions.
He knew the second that the thought appeared in his head that it wasn't fair to think like that. He had is own part in their break up and he knew that. After all he is the one who actually did the breaking up part of the scenario. He was also the one who wouldn't listen to her when she tried to explain. To sum it up they both sucked at relationships before this and they didn't manage to do any better with each other. Luke now realized it was stupid to think that they would both magically be different just because he was Luke, and she was Lorelai, and it had been such a long time coming.
"I don't know, never mind." Lorelai back tracked her courage dwindling. What really made her backpedal was the look on Luke's face as she asked. She got the distinct impression if she had explained what she had meant; she wouldn't have liked the answers she got.
"Okay." Luke returned simply once again focusing on the ceiling. He could have made her say what she meant but, he didn't see the point in dragging it out of her. He knew it would only lead to more hurt and pain and it was really time for them both to cut their losses.
In Lorelai's head she was knew a few things with a bit of certainty. One was that she had hurt Luke. Two, was that he was out and they were over. However, her heart was having a hard time with both of these facts. She wanted things back to where they were before the wedding. What she really wanted was a middle. At this point she would gladly accept a new beginning. Being in the same room with Luke intensified every feeling she had spent a month trying to squash down, get over, and move on from. It finally occurred to her that she would never be able to do any of it. She would never be over him and she would never move on. That realization coupled with the look on Luke's face when she had asked him if it would always be like this, said it all. The look had told her he would never be able to forgive her. She realized that these were the new facts. Before Lorelai even became conscious of what was happening a stream of tears were making their way down her face.
Luke was distracted from his counting when he thought he heard the distinct sound of a sniffle from Lorelai's direction. He turned his body to look at her. Luke immediately noticed that she was now facing the wall affectively hiding her face from him. He waited a second and heard the same sniffling noise. An internal debate started in his mind about whether he should go over to her. The debate turned out to be a short one because a second later Luke got up off of his mat and went and sat down next to Lorelai. He gently put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, are you okay."
This time Lorelai didn't shrug off his hand.
"It is going to be like this forever, isn't it? I mean I wasn't expecting… People kept saying give it time and I knew better but… and here I am crying again. Twice in one night, I swear I am not normally like this…God, this is so hard!" Lorelai said between sniffles.
Lorelai turned to face him and he looked down at her tear stained face. She looked so scared and childlike and Luke didn't care who had gotten them to the point they were at anymore. He just wanted to fix it for her. She was completely right this was so hard. Luke really wanted things to be different. However, this wasn't something easily fixed. This wasn't Lorelai's porch rail, or a roof shingle, or a back door or anything else he knew how to repair. This was feelings, and hearts and other things Luke never knew what to do with.
"I don't know, Lorelai." Luke whispered. Without thinking he took his hand and tucked a piece of hair that had fallen into Lorelai's face back behind her ear. "I wish I knew, but I just don't."
Lorelai thought that the answer 'I don't know' didn't make anything better or even really change anything. However, some how the way he said it gave her an odd sense of hope. After all he hadn't flat out said no. That attached with the way he was looking at her and the way he touched her gave her a small sense of optimism. It was odd for Lorelai to be hopeful. The last time Lorelai had hope was when she had asked Luke what he was thinking at Doose's. She had hope when she had asked the question and the second she heard his reply all her hope had left, and she didn't think she would ever see it again.
Luke stood up and reached his hand out for Lorelai. "Come on, you look tired lets get that stupid inflatable mattress out."
"Okay." Lorelai said quietly as she accepted Luke's outstretched hand.
Luke and Lorelai came back out of the office with their hands full. Lorelai had calmed herself down after her mini breakdown and was now carrying the pillows and blanket. Meanwhile, Luke was carrying in the inflatable mattress.
Once back in the studio Luke sat down on the ground and began to open up the box with the mattress inside of it.
"I always wondered how one of these blow up by themselves mattresses work." Luke stated as he pulled the mattress out of the box.
Lorelai then crouched down next to him to take a look at the mattress in question.
"Well, I guess I will read the directions and figure it out." Luke surmised.
Luke took the directions out of the box and began to silently read them.
"Or we could do this and see what happens." Lorelai suggested as she pulled a red cord that was dangling from the uninflated mattress.
After a small popping noise the mattress immediately began to expand.
"Oh yay, that worked look at me being all handy." Lorelai smiled.
"Guess I don't need these." Luke said putting the directions back into the box.
"Ya know if I ever were to go camping I would get one of these babies! I mean I don't know why I would ever go camping. I mean sleeping on the ground, not my thing. In fact I don't think I have ever been camping. I think that the closest I ever got to camping was when Rory was obsessed with Troop Beverly Hills and she made me watch it with her over and over again. She would run around the house singing 'it's cookie time, it's cookie time, it's cook- eee time!' Anyway I am getting off track here but it was really fun to pull that cord. Maybe, I will get one of these mattresses anyways and blow it up in the living room or something." Lorelai declared.
"Well everyone needs goals." Luke lightly joked.
Lorelai didn't comment on what Luke had said because when she looked at the now fully inflated mattress her mind went somewhere else.
"Hey Luke," Lorelai started.
"Yes." Luke returned.
"Well, you know we only have one blanket, right?" Lorelai questioned.
"Yes, I am aware." Luke said not sure where she was headed with this.
"Right, so one blanket, one mattress, two of us," Lorelai continued.
"Yes, Lorelai I understand what we have and how many of us there are." It slowly dawned on Luke where this conversation was going.
"So I guess I was just wondering, um, how is this whole sleeping arrangement going to go down?" Lorelai shyly asked.
Luke looked intently at her before gave her his answer.
(A/N 2: In my head this is where we would fade to black. Ha ha.)