How You Picture Things

Authors Note:Well, this is an interesting chapter for me. At first I had one way I thought I was going to go with it, but then this other idea popped into my head and I ran with it. Hopefully it all works. As always every person who reviewed is great and I heart them. The reviews are really such a great motivator to get me to write and they are all completely appreciated. Okay so on with the show….

Spoilers: None.

Premise: Set after "Jews and Chinese Food" But before, "So Good Talk." The whole town wants Luke and Lorelai to get back together so they decide to do something about it.

Chapter 5 "Seinfeld and Magical Solutions":

"We've just got to take our time. It's like nothing really matters so let's make this moment a crime." Let's Make This Moment a Crime, The Format

Luke swiftly repositioned himself to lie on top of Lorelai. The whole time he was maneuvering his and Lorelai's bodies he made sure his lips never left hers . Luke could not get enough of Lorelai and he wanted her more then he had ever wanted anything. Lorelai felt like she getting drunk off of Luke's kisses. His lips were intoxicating and she never wanted the kissing to end. Eventually, Luke's lips did move from Lorelai's but it was only so he could slowly begin to kiss along the line of her jaw. He took his time with each kiss, making sure to kiss and nibble at every bit of her skin. He gradually made his way down to her neck paying careful attention to the spots he knew were sensitive. Lorelai let out a slight moan as Luke worked his magic on the hollow of her throat. Luke began to make his way down her chest, kissing along the outline of her v neck top. Suddenly, Lorelai felt the need to pull away from Luke. By no means did she want him to stop doing what he was doing. What was happening felt amazing but her and Luke had not talked about what any of this meant. She felt like she needed some clarification as to what was really happening before she got into deep.

"Luke, wait." Lorelai whispered.

Luke looked up from Lorelai chest expectantly.

"Maybe we should talk about this." Lorelai said her voice a little raw.

"Talking is overrated." Luke breathed.

Luke quickly made his way back up to Lorelai mouth and their lips collided. Lorelai felt Luke's tongue slip into her mouth as his hands began to ease her shirt up her stomach. Without really thinking about it she let him lift her body up and pull her shirt over her head. With her shirt now discarded, Luke pushed Lorelai back on to the mattress and pinned he hands over her head. Then he dipped down to meet her lips and began a breathtaking assault on her mouth. As Lorelai felt Luke's weight on top of her she said to hell with talking, and thinking, and well to everything. She put all of her concentration where she knew it should be with the man on top of her. The rest of their clothes were quickly discarded and soon they were both savoring in something they thought they had lost.

After a few minutes of blissful incoherence Lorelai was able to get her breathing back to normal. As her breathing settled her mind began to form some sort of rational thoughts. The first thoughts to fill her delightfully clouded head were all about how amazing things had been between her and Luke. She was in awe of the intensity she felt within her while Luke was making love to her. She was even more surprised to feel that same intensity radiating from him. Lorelai's body felt all tingly and numb and if she concentrated hard enough she could still feel a burning sensation all the places that Luke's lips had been. For the first time in a month she felt a deep sense of peace. This particularly satisfying peace was one she had only ever felt when she was with Luke. The peace was finally back and she was incredibly happy. Her heart felt complete, her body felt sated, and she never wanted it to stop.

In fact she was feeling so utterly good she decided to sneak a peek at the man who was responsible for her mood. She shifted her head to glance at Luke and was greeted with a completely unreadable expression coming from him. Whatever the look was it didn't seem to be a positive one. It definitely wasn't the look of complete tranquility that was plastered on Lorelai's face. She wasn't exactly sure what she had expected to see when she looked at him but that look was not it. She would have anticipated a sleepy grin or maybe that satisfied intense eye thing he normally did post coital but not this look. She became instantly nervous and glanced away quickly in the hopes that Luke hadn't seen her looking at him.

Luke's body finally settled and he began to travel back to this plain of existence. Suddenly the words Lorelai had said before they made love came back to him. She had asked to talk and he had dismissed it. He now thought that might have been a mistake. If she had wanted to talk he should have let her. He was just so caught up in his need to be with her again, he wasn't thinking clearly. He felt like maybe he should bring it up now and let her say what she had wanted to say. He was trying to think of a good way to bring it up, but verbal wasn't really his thing.

Lorelai swiftly shifted to stare at the ceiling and almost immediately a small layer of unshed tears filled her eyes. All at once her stomach tied into a giant knot and the tingly warm feeling her body was filled with just a second before quickly turned icy cold. She suddenly realized that what just happened might not have meant to Luke what it had meant to her. She felt like she had just been sucker punched by reality. Lorelai began to silently berate herself for being so stupid. There had been a very good reason why she had tried to pull away from Luke earlier. She had wanted to talk to him and figure out what everything meant before things went too far. She had wanted to make sure she was not going to get her heart broken all over again. Hell, even if she did know that she would get her heart broken again she might have still done it, but at least she would have been mentally prepared. She had gotten so damn caught up in Luke, and in the moment, that she just wasn't thinking long term. She was an adult and she knew that sometimes sex was just sex. Sometimes sex was nothing more than fulfilling a physical need. Even the best sex of your life didn't magically fix a broken relationship. Sex alone didn't make everything all better between two screwed up people. From past experience she knew that most times sex with an ex just made things messy and complicated, and rarely did it end the way she wanted it to.

Lorelai had no idea what Luke was thinking. She didn't know what his intentions were or if what happened changed anything between them. What made her even more frustrated was that fact that she had almost no control in this entire situation. Her wanting to be back with Luke didn't mean anything unless he wanted it too. It was maddening to her that she knew what she wanted and hoped for, what she needed, and what she'd settle for, and also know at the same time that none of it made one bit of difference. All of her hopes, wants, and needs in this situation were dependent on the man who lied next to her. At the moment he was a completely silent man whose face was covered in an expression that Lorelai could only describe as solemn. Those facts didn't make things look too promising in Lorelai's eyes and she cursed the fact that he was the guy who currently held every card in their relationship.

She was used to being in control in a relationship. Since Christopher she had always made sure she was the one who decided how things went when she was with someone. She was used to having all the cards when it came to a guy. Having none of them was beginning to make her really angry. Her frustration mounted until it finally moved her to speak.

"So what does this all mean?" Lorelai asked trying to keep her tone as even as possible.

Lorelai's voice broke Luke out of the daze he was in. "What does what mean?"

After Luke spoke he and Lorelai simultaneously sat up on the air mattress. Lorelai gripped the blanket tightly around her before she spoke.

"Don't do that." Lorelai warned.

"Don't do what?" Luke asked.

"That. Answer a question with a question. You and I both know what I meant." Lorelai responded her tone rising.

"Where is this coming from? Why are you acting like this?" Luke asked bewildered. "Oh I am sorry that was that another question…"

"Damn it Luke. You think this is funny?" Lorelai said in frustration.

"Seriously, why are you getting so angry? I mean what just happened was so… and now you're… You're… I don't know what the hell you're doing." Luke said equally as frustrated.

"Oh come on Luke. You knew what I was asking. I mean what does this mean for us. After all it is all up to you…" Lorelai said in a pointed tone.

"It is not all up to me…" Luke declared.

"Yes, it is Luke. You know where I stand. You have all the hand…" Lorelai said indignantly.

"What?" Luke yelled completely frustrated.

"You know from that episode of Seinfeld, oh never mind… I mean that you have the upper hand in this relationship. It's all up to you. Did what we do mean nothing? Was it a one time thing, or is this going to happen again? Will it be friends with benefits, booty calls, or do you want to get back together. See Luke, I get to have all the questions and you are the only one who can give me any answers." Lorelai bitterly explained.

Luke was hurt. He had thought he had shown her without words what he wanted. He thought he had demonstrated to her how much he needed and wanted her. He thought that his actions did the talking for him, but he was beginning to see how wrong that idea was.

"Lorelai, I can't believe you would think that I could be like that, especially with you." Luke said in tone that was more upset than angry.

Now it was Lorelai's turn question. "Be like what?"

"Like one of those smarmy jerky ass guys who don't care about anyone but themselves. They just do whatever they want and whoever they want and there is nothing behind it…" Luke ranted.

"I didn't say that." Lorelai tried to defend herself.

"Yeah you did. Sure you didn't come right out and say it but clearly in your mind you thought that it was a possibility. In your head you thought I might be the kind of guy who would just have sex with you and then afterwards be like 'oh this meant nothing, but hey maybe one night if I am lonely enough I will call you and we can hook up again'. I don't understand how you think I could do something like that. God damn it Lorelai, before anything ever happened between us I was your friend. I thought you would know me better than that. Hell, when we were just friends if you would have told me that some guy did something like that to you, I would found him and kicked his ass. That is the kind of guy I am, Lorelai. If you don't know that by now, you never will…" Luke shouted his hurt turning quickly into anger.

"I know that, Luke. I do know that. I am sorry I shouldn't have said what I said. I just didn't know where we stood. I am not good with uncertainty and I'm sorry…" Lorelai softly apologized.

"I can't give you certainty, and there are no guarantees in life, Lorelai. But you wanted to know what I thought this all meant well then I will tell you. I thought that making love to you meant we were going to try and work things out. But I am beginning to think that was a mistake. I mean after the wedding you didn't know me well enough to know that I needed time to process everything that happened. I asked you for time and instead you just accosted me at Doose's, and I kept telling you I wasn't ready and you wouldn't listen. And now you think I am this guy who would totally screw with your mind, and literally screw you over …" Luke said in calmer but extremely sad tone.

"No, no, no this can not be happening again." Lorelai said her voice thick with emotion. She grabbed Luke's hand had held it tightly. She looked at him directly in the eyes and willed him to listen to her. "We need to calm down and talk about this like adults. What we just did was incredible and I am so sorry I freaked out. I want nothing more then to be with you, Luke. I think you are kind and wonderful and I do know deep down that you would never do anything like that to me. I just got scared. Please believe me when I say that the only thing that I want is to work this out."

Luke had tried to really listen, but he still wasn't sure, "But if we can't even…"

"Luke can you please give us this one last chance. I think we both deserve one more chance at least to talk. To clear the air…" Lorelai softly implored.

"Okay." Luke said quietly. He didn't want to lose Lorelai anymore than she wanted to be lost. Luke knew she was right. After everything that had just happened she deserved a chance to speak. "I'm listening."

Lorelai was slightly caught off guard. She had her chance to possibly fix things between them and suddenly she didn't know what to say. "Um...Okay where to start. I guess at the beginning… I guess this really all started with Christopher…" She saw Luke's face cringe at the mention of his name but she continued anyway. "I know I already said it, but I need to make it extremely clear that nothing happened there. Absolutely nothing and I was the world's biggest idiot for lying to you about it. I mean it's almost ironic. This was the first time in my life where I saw Chris and there was absolutely nothing but friendship type feelings for the man. He and I are so over. He was so in the past, and I was so head over heels for you. I know it may sound weird but I guess that's why I lied to you. Things were going so good with us. It was the best relationship I have ever been in and I just didn't want a bump in the road. I didn't want you to question anything or be jealous in anyway and that is why I kept it from you. I see now that by lying to you I created the questions and doubt. If I had been honest I know things would have ended differently."

Luke looked like he was about to say something but when it was clear that he wasn't Lorelai continued.

"I realized after that horrendous wedding how much of an idiot I had been. I was taking advantage of you and how great you were. I wasn't being the best girlfriend that I could be. I mean you had told me at the beginning of this relationship you were 'all in' and I never gave you that same reassurance. That was a really crappy thing to do. I suddenly became conscious of how much I needed you and I promised myself I would do better. I would treat you better and try and be a better person. I wanted to have the chance to be someone who deserved you," Lorelai emphatically stated.

"Lorelai, I never thought you weren't a good girlfriend or a good person. You are amazing and being with you was by far the happiest time in my life. You have to understand that at that wedding that I was getting hit from all directions. You had lied to me, your mom hated me so much she told Christopher that he should try and get back together with you, and that shmuck was in my face saying all these horrible things. I just really needed some time alone with everything..." Luke trailed off.

"I completely understand. I should have given you that time. I should have respected what you wanted. But, at the time I had just talked to Sookie. She had told me this story about a couple who took 40 years to get back together after a break. So after that downer, I go to clear my head and outside the whole town is acting like we are broken up forever. They were wearing those stupid ribbons, and it just made me feel desperate. Then I saw you and I felt that if I didn't talk to you right then I would lose you forever. I had this overwhelming need to fix things and let you know how important our relationship was to me. It was the wrong decision and it ended up causing exactly what I didn't want to have happen, happen." Lorelai explained.

"I get that. If things had been reversed who knows how I would have reacted. I don't want you to think that I think this is entirely your fault, because it isn't. I could have done a lot of things differently. I shouldn't have blown up at Doose's like that. I should have tried to listen to you. After we broke up I shouldn't have been such an ass. You were right taking that boat without talking to you was a really mean thing to do. Lorelai, I really want to fix this. I am just not good at thing kind of thing."

"You are better than you think. I guess it's really all about what we want." Lorelai said.

"I want to be with you, Lorelai." Luke firmly stated.

"That's all I want too…" Lorelai confirmed.

"So then how do we make sure that is what happens? How do we stop this from happening again? I don't think I have it in me to handle losing you again." Luke sincerely responded.

"I think we do what we just did. We talk with each other. We don't lie and we don't retreat. We both try our best to be adults, even though it doesn't seem to be our particular area of expertise." Lorelai surmised.

"I will try my best. For you I will try." Luke promised.

"And so will I. For you I will try." Lorelai repeated his last words with a slight teasing tone.

"So does this mean I can kiss you?" Luke asked with a smile.

"You better." Lorelai replied.

After she spoke she leaned over and kissed Luke soundly on the lips. He was about to make the kiss deeper when she pulled away. Luke looked at her expectantly, wondering why she had retreated.

"In the interest of complete honesty, there is something else I think I need to tell you. I mean something I want to tell you before anything else happens. Or well in this case happens again." Lorelai started nervously.

"Okay." Luke said now a little nervous himself about whatever it was Lorelai might have to say.

"I actually promised myself if I ever got another chance with you I would say this. I almost chickened out but it's something I think needs to be said. Well, it's something I feel, and I want to say but its okay if you don't want to say it. Or even if you don't feel it right now. I mean it's not like we both have to be ready for the same things at the same time. This isn't some fairytale, this is real life and I get that…"

"Lorelai, Lorelai, you are babbling," Luke interrupted talking over Lorelai.

Lorelai didn't even hear him she was too busy with her little speech. "It's just, I love you. I love you, Luke. There I said it."

Since Luke was talking he wasn't one hundred percent sure he had heard what Lorelai had just said correctly.

"Did you just say you loved me?" Luke asked shocked.

"Uh maybe," Lorelai said with uncertainty.

(A/N 2: This cliffhanger thing is fun…..)